Читать книгу Stand and Deliver!: And other Brilliant Ways to Give Birth - Emma Mahony - Страница 16

Although you may never learn this at your hospital appointments, confronted by doctors with stethoscopes around their necks, sex and birth are closely linked. A good healthy approach to sex can help produce a good, healthy birth outcome. That doesn’t mean to say that if you can’t face a session in the sack until after the birth that you may as well book in for a C-section. There are many ways to fry a fish (sorry), and in the hand-out that accompanies the pregnancy Pink Kit from New Zealand (visit www.commonknowledgetrust.com for a look), there is a line that says ‘Women who birth well touch themselves appropriately to facilitate the experience.’ If that line makes you go ‘eek’ (and not because of the mangled syntax) then you need to dig a little deeper and ask yourself why. Being into your body and finding yourself beautiful in your pregnant state may require a thought-makeover (more cultural unconditioning). After all, waif-like models are the ideal, aren’t they? Well, no, actually. Try asking any red-blooded male, and don’t be surprised by his answer. Some men find pregnant women very sexy, and if you happen to show your bump in Greece you will be accosted by Greek men keen to rub your tummy for good luck. Just remember that the Sun does not sell 2 million copies every day because of its acute political sensibilities.

In the deeply unsexy environment of a hospital, however, where death and disease reign, it is not surprising that sex is the furthest thing from all of our minds. If it is discussed at our antenatal classes, it is discussed in a clinical sort of way with off-putting words like ‘penetration’, ‘intercourse’ or ‘stimulation’ used. Now, if George Clooney were to show up and take the class over a glass of wine in a bar, things might be different. But near the Sanitary Waste bucket next to the foetal monitor, lovemaking is never going to be at the forefront of anyone’s mind.

So, before I pull the rabbit out of the hat and reveal how sex and birth are so closely linked, I need to break the postnatal conspiracy of silence over the issue of sex after birth, to show you why it is worth doing a little extra work on yourself and your relationship in your pregnant state. If you are in a relationship, ignoring the importance of sex is never going to work. After money, it is the main reason why couples fight. It will raise its head (as it were) at some stage after the birth, and you have a lot more time and energy to explore your feelings before the baby comes than afterwards. Sex is also going to become an issue after the birth anyway, when you suddenly find yourself in a twilight world where breastfeeding, exhaustion, resentment, broken nights and a grumpy partner make the good old days of a Sunday morning romp the stuff of fantasy. Now, not later, is the time to wise up to your womanhood, even if you would really rather prefer to flick through cute baby catalogues.