Читать книгу Before You Were Mine: the breathtaking USA Today Bestseller - Em Muslin - Страница 12

CHAPTER 6

My ‘sweet sixteen’ had passed with barely a word. My Ma – whose face had soured over the years – had wrapped up a vanity case she found in some sale and passed it to me over breakfast that morning when the boys had gone to work; but as soon as I’d opened it, she was back out on the porch sweeping the dust onto the yard.

The next afternoon, I think I must have peeked through the window at least a dozen times before I heard the purr of an engine approaching and slowing outside the house. As soon as I heard the brakes compress, I leapt back and threw myself onto the bed as if it didn’t matter. I heard the low bellow of my brothers’ voices outside jeering and hollering as the engine idled, followed by the approaching thump on the stairs leading to my room. My Ma opened up my door, looked me up and down, and just nodded at me.

I guessed he must have asked my Pa to take me out, because after dinner, just as I was clearing the dishes, my Pa hovered in the kitchen, which he never usually did. He told me to sit for a moment. I wasn’t sure what he were going to say, except his face was all serious, and I could tell he felt uncomfortable. I glanced at my Ma – who was fussing and clattering in the cupboards – and when he sat there without a word spoken, my Ma just jumped right on in.

‘Oh for heaven’s sake, Charlie. Just tell her.’

Pa cleared his throat and rolled up a cigarette in between his nicotine-stained fingers, nails soiled with onyx oil, not a word passing his lips.

‘Young Tommy’s gonna pick you up tomorrow. So you should try and make yourself look pretty,’ my Ma said.

I cannot tell you how grateful I was to be sitting down, because I felt my insides spin over. I think I must have looked blankly at my Ma, ’cause she stood, hand on hip, just staring at me.

‘Yes, well I can’t believe it either. God knows what he’s thinking, but I guess he needs a girl around the house to help his poor Mama and we should be grateful for small mercies.’

‘Trudy!’ my Pa barked.

‘Well don’t tell me you ain’t surprised neither.’ She turned to me and ran her fingers through my hair. ‘Now wear somethin’ nice an’ put on a little lipstick why don’t you.’

Thing was I didn’t have anything pretty. I had a few old smocks that had faded over time, but I settled on the flower-print dress, which I thought looked kinda nice, and I wore my hair down so it rested on my shoulders. I know you think my Mama was being cruel and all, but she was right, after all that had happened, boys usually only ever looked at me for one reason and it wasn’t to take me on no date.

The dress fitted me just fine, but I felt the arches of sweat already soaking through under my arms. When I came out onto the porch, all my brothers turned to look at me and watched as I sidled onto the front passenger seat. As soon as I was buckled in, Tommy hit the gas, barely able to catch my eye. The leatherette seats were all cracked and I felt the sweat against the top of my thighs as my legs jiggled in rhythm to the car.

Tommy drove to the far side of town, took the road that led out towards Mallory, and pulled up beside Jimmy Buck’s diner. The parking lot was quiet and I could already see there was hardly anyone inside. Tommy leapt out of the car and I just as nearly jumped when he ran around and opened up my door for me. I’d never had anyone do that before. He kinda smiled at me and then looked down to the ground ’til I got out.

We settled into a booth and Tommy ordered sodas for the both of us. We just sat there, staring at the menus for fear of catching the other’s eye. In the end, we picked at our food and I was thankful when the check finally arrived. I don’t know whether it was the idea of people coming in and staring at us, or simply because I hadn’t a clue what to say. But my mouth felt dry and all I could think about was the patches of sweat swelling under my pits.

When we got back in the car, I thought Tommy was going to drive straight on home. I could already imagine my Mama’s face, me being dropped off early, barely the afternoon behind us, her knowing look when he realized I wasn’t for him.

But instead, he drove a little further out of town and pulled up beside the creek. A meadow ran along the side and Tommy opened up the gate, drove the car inside, and left the engine running. My heart pounded in fear and I felt the whole of my body tremble. I glanced around me in the hope we weren’t alone, wishing he’d just taken me on home.

‘Wanna learn to drive?’

I remember I just looked at him, lost for words. As sweat poured down my face, the sunlight hit his, so the glowing beam highlighted his auburn hair and freckles. He just smiled at me and didn’t move. I sat there dumb with relief, whilst he ran through everything in the car. I followed his fingers and feet as he pointed at this and that. He’d hardly spoken two words at me in the diner and now he was jabbering ten to the dozen, showing me how it all worked.

If there’s anything Tommy knew about, it was cars and I think he just liked being able to show me something, more than the thought of me actually driving. Tommy talked to me gently about feeling the bite. I must have frozen to the spot when he told me to shuffle across to the driver’s side, ’cause I just didn’t move. He jumped out and poked his head back in, his face open and expectant until it dropped.

‘Come on, it ain’t so hard.’

I didn’t want to disappoint him and I at least thought it would kill some time so my Mama would have to wipe the ‘I told you so’ look off her face; so I swept across the seat and sat up in front of the steering wheel, my heart pumping hard against my ribs.

‘OK, so that’s stop and that’s go.’ His hand pointed to the left and right as he told me which ones to press, and I remember feeling heat rise in my cheeks every time his hand neared mine. Rather than feeling terrified, I felt safe. The bulk of his body, the gentle way he leaned over – careful not to knock me – his oily fingernails, the smell of gasoline, the softness of his words, and most of all when he simply smiled at me.

I think I must have stalled the damned thing six times before he just burst into laughter. I couldn’t help it and I joined in too. Every time I did, we ended up in fits of giggles and by the time he eventually drove me home, my tummy muscles hurt from the laughing we’d done.

The light was getting dusky when we arrived back home and although my Mama didn’t know, I caught her looking out the top left window as I bid him goodnight. As soon as I got into the house, I heard her footsteps pattering down the stairs and with only a smile, I went up to bed.

Every time we went on out, he’d teach me a little more. No matter how many times I got it wrong, he’d patiently go through it again ’til I got it just right. I didn’t tell anyone what we did and I gotta say I kinda enjoyed the curiosity creeping across Ma’s and Daisy’s faces every time I got on home.

Some days, we’d just sit by the creek, either playing cards or just lying there quiet, listening to the water shimmying over the stones, inhaling the sweet smell of wet mud, baking in the heat. The silence between us, comfortable. I never felt the need to fill it, and I don’t think he did either. We’d just lie there ‘’til the light began to fade, or he’d have to get back to tend to his Ma; but we always knew that soon, there’d be a next time.