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FOLLOW THROUGH

LOCK IN THE RELATIONAL MINDSET

In this part, you saw that students rarely care about passing a test or getting good grades until teachers care about them first. Many teachers at your school probably assume they were just hired to teach. Yet, research studies conclusively show the value of relationships as a strong academic achievement catalyst. That’s right; lock that thought in your brain because relationships really do matter. In addition to the strategies I presented in this part, use the following two sections on changing your narrative and engaging in reflection to help you lock in your own relational mindset.

Change the Narrative, Change Your Teaching

Consider that every day you get up and come to work, there’s a narrative in your head. The narrative is you making plans for what will happen, what you will do, and how others might respond to you. Now ask yourself, “Was that an average day?”

What if you could have a great day every day? You can, and some people do. But to get there, you’d have to make the changes in your life that would fulfill the criteria for a great day. What would you need to do differently? Would you get up ten minutes earlier? Would you do a brief workout? Eat a smarter breakfast? Learn something new?

The point here is not to tell you what to do. This is all about your daily narratives, which is an ongoing story comprised of your past, present, and future intentions. It’s about who you are and what you will do each day, and it has a high predictability of what will actually happen (Wilson, 2011). When you remember that you have a choice in life, you can change your life story. In so doing, you can change your students’ stories because you are their role model, and you can change your own.

When you connect, empathize, and care about your students, you will teach well. In each of the upcoming chapters, you’ll notice that strong teachers purposefully manage and, when needed, change their narrative. In turn, they also purposefully influence their students’ narratives to better their lives. What mindset narrative do you have?

Fill in the following blanks with your name and a strategy from this mindset. Repeat the phrase daily until it’s automatic.

I, ______________. am committing to developing the relational mindset with my students every single day. I will begin with one of the strategies mentioned, which is______________. I will continue this until I have mastery and it’s automatic. At that point, I’ll learn something new to foster student success.

Reflection and Decision

All meaningful and lasting change starts with a mirror. Self-assess first. Reflect, “Is this topic an issue in my class?” If so, what is the evidence? If not, what is your evidence? Are you ready for a change? In other words, do you want students to graduate job ready or college ready or not? In the end, that’s what it boils down to, doesn’t it?

Your decision to help students grow means that you generate a new narrative that includes the relational mindset. Begin with a fierce urgency, and choose one of the chapters’ strategies to get started with better relationships. Encourage colleagues to help, and set goals for progress, using a site such as Stickk (www.stickk.com). Once the message is in your heart, and you’ve built the activities into your lessons, the mindset will become automatic.

Remember, quality relationships are not a make-or-break situation for every single student and every school. However, for most students from poverty, connections are the only reason they even come to school. Help them make that happen, and enjoy the rewards of the relational mindset.