Читать книгу Narcosis - Francisco Garófalo - Страница 5

I arrived in a place where I was not welcome, where nobody was happy about my presence. I was simply somebody who arrived to invade everybody’s lives. Especially her life.

Later on I would realise that my aunt did not love me, nor did her husband or her son. It was to be expected. I was someone who had arrived to disrupt the family, an apparently happy family, and I emphasise the word “apparently” because it was all a façade, a false life, just as most people have. Most people who live each day without knowing what they are living for. Who lack purpose and sleepwalk through empty streets, like ghosts without ideas. Zombies who live their lives lost and trapped by the evil acts that condemn them to be confined in freedom to a life without meaning and without dreams.

When I took my first step nobody was pleased, when I said my first word nobody was excited. Who was going to be excited when for them I did not exist? I was a non-entity, not even an object in that house. Someone who was never among their priorities.

When I reached my fifth birthday nobody threw me a party, nobody congratulated me, nobody thought of me, but I understood it since nobody loved me. She was the only one who took any notice of me.

I remember her. Of course I remember her. Her pink blouse, her curly hair, her red lips, her black eyes, her smile that gave me a reason to keep living.

She started to become the reason for my existence. It was for her that I kept myself alive in that house. It was her that made me sigh; it was her that made me dream; she was the only one who wished me a happy birthday and who gave me a kiss as a present and said, ‘I love you very much.’ And from that day I knew that she was the one for me. That she would be my wife forever.

Yes, I was a little boy with the dreams of a little boy, a little boy who loved with the love of a little boy, a little boy who clung to her because she was the only one who paid him any attention. A little boy who wanted to be loved.