Читать книгу Narcosis - Francisco Garófalo - Страница 8

I rushed out of my aunt’s bedroom to look for Carla. She was the only one I could confide in. I knew she could help me unmask my aunt. I wanted her to know that her mother was a hussy, not because I wanted to hurt her but so she could see what her mother was doing, and in my stupid brain I thought she would be grateful to me.

I don’t know why I looked for her. This news would cause her pain, it would break her heart. Maybe it was because she was the only one I trusted, because I felt she understood me.

I searched the whole house but I couldn’t find her. I looked in the garden, in her bedroom and finally I found her in the kitchen helping to prepare the food. Another quality in her favour.

She was a girl who always liked helping other people. She never looked down on the maid or treated her badly. She always helped her with her duties.

I grabbed her by the arm, without saying a single word to her, and I took her with me.

On the way to my aunt’s bedroom, she asked, ‘Where are you taking me?’

‘I want you to see something.’

‘See what?’

And with a jerk she released herself from my weak arm.

‘Tell me what it is you want me to see.’

‘Your mother.’

‘My mother?’

‘Yes, she’s cheating on your father. She’s a hussy.’

‘Shut up.’

And she very nearly hit me for the insult.

‘Have a look for yourself and then decide, if you really think I’m lying. What are you afraid of?’

‘I’m not afraid.’

‘Let’s go then.’

‘All right, but if you are lying to me, I will never help you again.’

We went into the room and Carla almost fainted when she saw her mother making love to don Nicolás. She wanted to shout but a knot in her throat stopped any sound coming out.

Her eyes looked as though they were going to pop out of their sockets.

Her face changed colour.

We left without the lovers noticing us.

We headed for my bedroom. Or rather, I led her there, she was in shock.

She tried to clear her mind and digest what she had seen. It can’t be easy for any child to discover that their mother is not what they thought she was, what she appeared to be.

‘What should I do?’ she asked, finally.

I didn’t know what to say.

I wanted revenge on my aunt. It would have been easy for me to suggest that she phone her father and destroy my aunt’s marriage but I didn’t want Carla to suffer, I didn’t want to see her cry. Destroying my aunt’s marriage meant destroying Carla’s home and I didn’t want to do that.

‘Remember that I love you very much,’ I said, and without thinking, I kissed her on the lips.

It was something I had planned to do for so long without knowing how, although of course I had rehearsed it.

She took a step backwards.

‘What are you doing?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Where did you learn to do that?’

‘Watching TV and practising with my pillow.’

This confession amused her.

And I, in my imaginary world, sensed that she had liked it, that she wanted it too.

My ideas ran away with me. Neither thoughts nor dreams have limits.

I thought she felt the same about me as well.

That she, too, had dreamt of that kiss.

We left the room and Pedro, her older brother, who was eleven, blocked our path; he had seen the kiss.

He came towards Carla, seized her roughly by her right arm and looked like he was about to hit her in the face. I intervened immediately to prevent him from hitting her but with a single punch to my abdomen he knocked the hero to the floor. Carla tried to help me but couldn’t, her brother gave her a slap and dragged her away. I saw him dragging her from my position on the floor. They disappeared from my view and I never imagined that would be the last time I would see her.

I still think of that day during my eternal sleepless nights, imagining what might have become of her, what fate awaited her, what destiny had in store for her. Where had she ended up?

Ten minutes later I got to my feet and ran to look for Carla but my aunt had already heard what had happened, blocked my path, took me by the arm and marched me forcibly to my bedroom. Once we were inside, she gave me such a beating that I did not sleep for the whole night.