Super Confidence: Simple Steps to Build Your Confidence
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Gael Lindenfield. Super Confidence: Simple Steps to Build Your Confidence
Acknowledgements
Note to 2014 Edition
Introduction
The Year 2000 and Beyond
CHAPTER 1. Understanding Confidence
How Do We Recognize Confident People?
What Is the Price We Pay for Lack of Confidence?
Can You Be Too Confident?
Are We Born Confident?
What Is the Point of Looking Back?
Do Women Have Special Difficulties?
Do Men Have Special Difficulties?
CHAPTER 2. Changing Ourselves and Our World. Is Change Really Possible?
Can We Change on Our Own?
How Long Will It Take?
How Can We Begin to Change?
ACQUIRING BELIEF
OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPERIENCES
FINDING THE MOTIVATION
ACQUIRING INSIGHT
SETTING REALISTIC GOALS
GETTING PRACTICE
FINDING SUPPORT
REAPING THE REWARDS
CHAPTER 3. Self-knowledge
Why Knowing Yourself Is Important
Discovering Your Identity
WHAT KIND OF PERSON AM I?
WHAT ARE MY STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES?
WHAT ARE MY VALUES?
Understanding Your Personality
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS
COMMON PROBLEMS FOR PEOPLE WHO LACK CONFIDENCE
HOW CAN TA HELP US TO COMMUNICATE BETTER
COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS
CROSSED TRANSACTIONS
HOW TA CAN HELP US TO UNDERSTAND OUR SUBCONSCIOUS LIFE PHILOSOPHY
SCRIPTS
CHAPTER 4. Improving Your Self-esteem
Change the Way You Talk about Yourself
Start to Reward Yourself
Look after Your Body
Respect Your Feelings
Alter Your Lifestyle
Look Your Best
Allow Yourself to Be Looked after from Time to Time
CHAPTER 5. Choosing the Right Style of Behaviour
CHAPTER 6. Becoming More Assertive. Your Right to Be Assertive
Assertive Rights
Being Persistent
Successful Negotiation
CHAPTER 7. Good Communication
The Art of Conversation
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE ‘SMALL TALK’
DEVELOP YOUR LISTENING SKILLS
BE POSITIVE
USE HUMOUR
WATCH OUT FOR NON-VERBAL SIGNALS
SELECT YOUR QUESTIONS
USE SELF-DISCLOSURE APPROPRIATELY
Giving and Receiving Compliments
GIVING COMPLIMENTS
RECEIVING COMPLIMENTS
Making Requests
SCRIPTING
EXAMPLES OF SCRIPTS
The Art of Public Speaking
CHAPTER 8. Anger and Criticism. Handling Criticism
GOLDEN RULES FOR RECEIVING CRITICISM
SELF-PROTECTIVE TECHNIQUES FOR COPING WITH CRITICISM
GOLDEN RULES FOR GIVING CRITICISM
Managing Anger Assertively
BECOME AWARE OF YOUR OWN ANGER
DISCOVER YOUR PERSONAL REASONS FOR NOT EXPRESSING ANGER
ASSESS THE PRICE YOU ARE PAYING FOR BEING TOO ‘NICE’
LEARN TO EXPRESS YOUR ANGER ASSERTIVELY
LEARN TO RESPOND ASSERTIVELY TO ANGER IN OTHERS
RELEASE RESIDUAL PHYSICAL TENSION
Dealing with Your Own Anger
Dealing with Another’s Anger
CHAPTER 9. Improving Your Relationships
Confident Friends
Confident Partners
Confident Lovers
Confident Parents
Confident Employees
Confident Bosses
Confident Clients, Customers or Patients
CHAPTER 10. Planning Your Programme for Change
General Guidelines. BE PATIENT
BE PERSISTENT
ENJOY YOURSELF
DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHERS
DON’T ALLOW OTHERS TO JUDGE YOUR PROGRESS
Working on Your Own
Working in a Self-help Group
CHAPTER 11. Practical Exercises. Exercise 1: Confident People (see Chapter 1) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 2: The Devil’s Advocate (see Chapter 1) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 3: Paying the Price (see Chapters 1 & 2) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 4: The World We Live In (see Chapter 1) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 5: Personal Histories (see Chapter 1) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 6: Sex Roles (see Chapter 1) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 7: My Lifelines (see Chapter 2) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 8: Rewards (see Chapter 4) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 9: Fantasy of the Future (see Chapter 2) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 10: ‘I Am’ (see Chapter 3) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 11: Strengths and Weaknesses (see Chapter 3) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 12: Self-advertisement (see Chapter 3) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 13: Winning the Lottery (see Chapter 4) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 14: Value Hierarchies (see Chapter 3) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 15: Egograms (see Chapter 3) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 16 Analysing Transactions (see Chapter 3) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 17: My Life Script (see Chapter 3) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 18: My Lifestyle (see Chapter 3) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 19: One Month to Live (see Chapter 3) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 20: Boasting (see Chapters 3 & 4) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 21: Appropriate Behaviour (see Chapter 5) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 22: Assertive Rights (see Chapter 6) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 23: Others’ Rights (see Chapter 6) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 24: Yes/No (see Chapter 6) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 25: Broken Record (see Chapter 6) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 26: Small Talk (see Chapter 7) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 27: Initiating Conversation (see Chapter 7) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 28: Reflective Listening (see Chapter 7) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 29: Non-verbal Communication (see Chapter 7) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 30: Reviving the Skeletons (see Chapter 8) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 31: Giving Compliments (see Chapter 7)
GROUPS
Exercise 32: Receiving Compliments (see Chapter 7) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 33: Making Requests (see Chapter 7) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 34: Public Speaking (see Chapter 7) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 35: Self-criticism (see Chapter 7) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 36: Receiving Fair Criticism (see Chapter 8) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 37: Receiving Unjust Criticism (see Chapter 8) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 38: The Tough Interview (see Chapter 9) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 39: Anger Messages from Childhood (see Chapter 8) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 40: Anger Hierarchies (see Chapter 8) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 41: Letting Go (see Chapter 8) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 42: Justified Anger in an Unjust World (see Chapter 8) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 43: Dealing with Others’ Anger (see Chapter 8) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 44: Family Relationships (see Chapter 9) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 45: Friendships (see Chapter 9) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 46: Authority Figures (see Chapter 9) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 47: Dissatisfied Customer (see Chapter 9) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 48: Relating to Your Lover (see Chapter 9) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 49: Relating to Children (see Chapter 9) INDIVIDUALS
GROUPS
Exercise 50: Evaluation of Your Progress (see ALL Chapters) INDIVIDUALS AND GROUPS
Your Future Action Plan
Further Reading
Taking It Further
Other Titles in This Series
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List of Searchable Terms
Copyright
About the Publisher
Отрывок из книги
I would like to dedicate this book to Britta Harding, whose remarkable talents as a therapist gave me my first glimpse of my own potential and whose remarkable qualities as a friend have given me invaluable support and encouragement throughout my struggle to realize it.
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Your Position in the Family
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