Читать книгу Confident Children: Help children feel good about themselves - Gael Lindenfield, Gael Lindenfield - Страница 31

Spend some time getting yourself into a relaxed state in a peaceful setting.

Close your eyes and, for at least a full five minutes, try to picture yourself in 10 years’ time – leading what for you would be an ideal life. Answering the following questions might help you to get the picture.

– where are you living and what does the house look like?

– whom are you living with?

– what job are you doing and what do you enjoy about it?

– what kind of social life do you have? Any new friends?

– what have you achieved in the last 10 years?

– what are your plans for the next 10 years?

• Share this dream with your partner, if you have one (if not use a close friend) and then listen to his or her dream.

• ‘Rewrite’ your dream into one or more achievable but ambitious goals.

• Note down the obstacles in relation to your children which you think are standing in the way of you living your dreams. For example:

– unreliable child care support

– not being able to afford the fees for the course as well as paying for the children’s swimming/music lessons

– ‘the kids sap every ounce of my spare energy.’

– ‘I couldn’t apply for promotion because that might mean moving the children to another area and they never settle at a new school.’

– ‘I believe that it’s parents’ sacred duty to always put their children’s needs first and I would never forgive myself if I didn’t always do that.’

– ‘when I think what my parents gave up for me, postponing the start of my degree pales into insignificance.’

Using the help of your partner or a friend, critically challenge each of the obstacles you have written down. Ask yourself whether these really are immovable obstacles or whether you are, perhaps, subconsciously using the children as an ‘honourable’ excuse for not facing the challenge of living up to your full potential.

Devise an action plan, which includes at least one step which you can take within the next two weeks, and pin this up in a prominent place. For example:

– obtain an Open University prospectus

– talk to other working parents about their child care

– get some motivational and confidence-building cassettes