Читать книгу The Century Handbook of Writing - Garland Greever - Страница 23

13. Do not use two or three short sentences to express ideas which will make a more unified impression in one sentence. Place subordinate ideas in subordinate grammatical constructions.

 Excessive predication: Excavating is the first operation in street paving. The excavating is usually done by means of a steam shovel. The shovel scoops up the dirt and loads it directly into wagons.

 Right: Excavating, the first operation in street paving, is usually done by a steam shovel which loads the dirt directly into wagons.

 Monotonous: The doe is wading along the shore. She is nibbling the lily pads as she goes. Now she moves slowly around the point. She has a little spotted fawn with her. The fawn frolics along at the heels of his mother.

 Better: Wading along the shore, the doe nibbles the lily pads by the way, and moves slowly around the point. A spotted fawn frolics at her heels.

 Primer style: Rooms are marked on the floor. These rooms are about fourteen feet square.

 Better: The floor is marked off into rooms about fourteen feet square.

Note.—An occasional short sentence is permissible, even desirable. Successive short sentences may be used to express rapid action, or emphatic assertion, or deliberate simplicity. Otherwise, avoid them.

Exercise:

1 Decatur has wide streets. The streets are paved with brick, asphalt, and creosote blocks.

2 Sixteen posts are set in a row. All of these are at equal intervals.

3 The boat approaches the leeward side of the ship. This side is the side protected from the wind.

4 The Scientific American reports the progress of science. It explains new inventions. It makes practical applications of scientific principles.

5 The beans are usually harvested about the middle of September. They are cut when the plants turn color at the roots and the beans turn white. They are cut by a bean-cutter which takes two rows at a time.