Читать книгу Run Your Own Corporation - Garrett Sutton - Страница 24

Bobo and Morton had attended prep schools from kindergarten through high school together. Morton’s full name was Morton Winthrop Trentham III. Bobo’s full name was Anstergard VanDyke McGill, but because as a very young child he made quite a scene on the Bobo the Clown local afternoon TV show, everyone called him Bobo.

The two boys came from very wealthy families. Their great-great-whatever-grandfathers had been tycoons during the Gilded Age of the 1880’s. The Trenthams and McGills had also been the original founders of The Thracian Club, a very posh country club offering golf, equestrian and yachting activities. Many well-heeled and accomplished people were members, most prominently a number of sophisticated Wall Street money managers, including financial wizard Frank Fodom. Many people wanted to get into The Thracian Club, or ‘The Club’ as members called it. Not everyone did. The list was long and the criteria rigid or, as some would say, snooty.

Bobo and Morton had no such acceptance worries. Because the two were direct descendants of the founders, they were automatic members of The Club. Yet their family members knew that Bobo and Morton would never get in on their own merits.

Morton was short and spindly while Bobo was barrel chested and hefty. Together they resembled the famous comedy team of Laurel and Hardy. The comparison did not end there.

Unlike virtually all of their prep school friends, Bobo and Morton did not go on to expensive colleges. Neither of them did well in school nor did they have any interest in prolonging the pain. While their parents were well-connected and well-funded, that was not enough to guarantee a career for the two boys. And so as their other children moved on, both sets of parents knew they would have to come up with something for the boys to do.

The Trentham family had a large dog kennel on their very large property. The boys both liked dogs. The idea arose that Bobo and Morton should run a dog breeding business. Both families liked the whippet breed, which the American Kennel Club describes as “a medium size sight hound giving the appearance of elegance and fitness, denoting great speed, power and balance without coarseness.” It was the perfect breed for the Trenthams and McGills. All Bobo and Morton knew was that these slightly built canines were miniature greyhounds that could run up to 35 miles per hour.

The Trenthams and McGills put together a business and funded a bank account. The boys received a small salary. They acquired six whippets for breeding and started to pay for feed, equipment, veterinarians and the like.

The breeding business was not lucrative. In fact, it brought in just one sale, and plenty of annual losses. The whippets did not respond to Bobo and Morton’s unfocused, unscientific breeding attempts. When a friend said he used the soulful music of Barry White to set the mood, the boys tried that with the whippets. When Barry White didn’t work they went on to the next half-hearted attempt at breeding.

Whenever they got the chance, the dogs would run away. While there was no way chunky Bobo could ever catch them, neither could spry Morton. The whippets were born to run, and run they did.

As dogs disappeared, their parents, somewhat strangely, and without question, approved the purchase of more whippets. This went on for over two years until two very dramatic things happened.

First, the County Sheriff, John Law, showed up at the kennel with a complaint. The runaway whippets were doing something they never did for Bobo and Morton-they were breeding. There was now a large pack of wild whippets roaming the county. They were knocking over garbage cans and cruelly taunting the authorities with their speed. Sheriff Law made it clear, in a very loud and angry voice, that he did not like to be cruelly taunted. He inquired where their dog breeding, health permit and city business licenses were located. When Bobo said he didn’t know if they had any of that, Sheriff Law handed him an order to shut down the kennel. He departed in an official huff leaving the main gate ajar. Before Sheriff Law took five steps to his black and white patrol car, six whippets were out the gate and sprinting off into the countryside.

That same day, the boys’ parents received a certified letter from the IRS. They were being audited on the dog breeding business. Because the parents had been writing off significant losses (and receiving a tax break for the losses) while no real income had been generated, they were subject to hobby loss rules.

The parents brought in their attorneys and CPAs to deal with the sheriff and the IRS. There were fines and penalties to pay on both fronts. One of the CPA’s assistants who knew Bobo and Morton found the whole situation hilarious. He dubbed them the ‘Hobby Loss Twins’ which, to Bobo and Morton’s chagrin and anger, made the rounds around town.

And with their dog breeding business suddenly shut down, Bobo and Morton needed to find something new to do...