Читать книгу Faithful Sexuality - Gary L. Grafwallner - Страница 6

I remember being at a four-day workshop on money sponsored by a local Presbyterian congregation. My small group included Mary, a therapist and wife of a timber industry magnate. She was a vivacious but unpretentious woman in her early sixties who was beautiful both inside and out. She said, “One morning as I showered, I stood next to my husband who was in his seventies. He was tall, lean, and well-muscled. He swam, played tennis, and was an avid walker. I was struck by the beauty of his body given his years. Later at breakfast we were sitting together and I said, ‘David you are quite sexy.’” I thought to myself, “He is, but so are you.”

How comfortable are you with your body? I’ve noticed that people who are overweight often wear their shirts out. They prefer large sweaters or loose-fitting clothes. People who are extremely thin may wear tights or layered clothing, turtleneck shirts, and long-sleeve sweaters with jeans. Those who are growing bald may comb their hair forward or purchase a hairpiece or get a hair transplant. People who can afford it may get plastic surgery for a facelift, a tummy tuck, to have their wrinkles removed, or to their change breast size.

Someone suggested to me that a helpful exercise is to spend fifteen minutes in front of the mirror periodically looking at your body front view, side view, and back profile. Ask yourself, which parts do you like? Why? Which parts do you dislike? I remember an elderly Hispanic woman who looked at the stretch marks on her legs and great belly. She said, “I’ve earned every one of these bearing nine children.” Her comment gave me a lot to think about. Are you able to give thanks for your body?

I spent a four-day weekend for continuing education at the Vancouver School of Theology with Walter Wink and June Kerner Wink. He is a New Testament theologian and teacher of Koine Greek. She teaches movement. Before we would do Scripture study with Walter, June would open us up to the Word by getting us in touch with our bodies so we would come to Scripture study using both hemispheres of our brains.

June told us how she felt terrible about her body as a teenager. She said, “I had a big nose, a flat chest, wide hips, and feet like shovels. I was taller than any of the boys in my grade.” Her sister’s teasing did not help, and she hated her body for years. After going through a painful divorce, she married Walter, who taught at Union Seminary in New York. Being raised a Methodist preacher’s daughter, she had “gone forth to the altar, confessed her sins, professed her faith,” but she said, “I never felt God’s grace.” She was spiritually drying up in this academic community that was “all head, little heart, and no spirit” when she signed up for a class on movement at a local community college. This was not a dance class but one where you freely interpreted the music you heard. She said, “It was the first time I experienced grace. I bent, moved, stretched, twirled, sank, and arose. I felt free and positive about my body, open and playful as I moved to the music.” She went back to take a second class, and a third and then a fourth. Finally, she went to a master teacher in New York City. Now she travels with her husband doing workshops and teaches others how to relax, to let go, and personally interpret the music or words they are hearing.

Something June invited us to do while we were with her was to bless our bodies. She told us how we neglect our bodies and take them for granted instead of blessing them. Each of us lay on our backs with enough space between each person so that no one touched the other. Then we closed out eyes and silently moved our hands over each part of our bodies, pausing to ponder how wonderfully we are created and then to give a blessing and say, “Thanks.” It was powerful to move from our toes, to feet, to ankles, to calves, to thighs, and then think about how each part functioned and was God-given. We blessed our genitals and pelvises, hips and waists and stomachs. We thought about the organs we take for granted like the skin, heart, lungs, liver, and kidneys, pancreas and colon. We touched our lower and upper backs, our breasts and chests, collar bones, shoulders, biceps, triceps, forearms, wrists, hands, thumbs, and fingers. Finally, we came to our necks and heads. We touched our lips and mouths and teeth, our eyes and ears, and noses, our foreheads and the crowns of our heads. We each had thought about our total selves and blessed them. It was an amazing experience to name and picture each part and say, “This is of God. Behold, this is good. This is to be cherished.”

One of my colleagues was giving a lecture when he said, “Our sexuality includes all that we are, not just our ‘gender and genitals’.” In other words, our sexuality includes not only our anatomy and physique, but also our scent. The way we sit, walk, and cross our legs. The colors and clothes we choose and how they fit, our hairstyles and cuts, whether we shave our heads or pluck our eyebrows or grow a beard are all part of our sexuality. The jewelry we wear, a tattoo, even our laugh is part of our sexuality.

According to the New Testament, all who are baptized into Christ are members of the body of Christ and a temple of the Holy Spirit. We are joined to God through Jesus Christ. We live in God, and God lives in us. Food and drink, work and rest, prayer and play all contribute to our appearance, attitude, and sense of well-being. The way we treat our bodies colors how we feel about ourselves and our sexuality. Years ago, someone gave me a tiny wood plaque that reads, “If I would have known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.” “God created us male and female.” “We are sexual beings and we are good.”

Questions for Reflection

• Do you celebrate the goodness of your sexuality?

• What might it mean to you personally when in the New Testament we are told, “Your bodies are not your own to do with as you please for you were redeemed for a price. Therefore glorify God with your bodies”?

Prayer

• Creator God, thank you for the goodness of flesh and creating us sexual beings. Help us to respect and cherish our bodies which are your creation. Amen.