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We are now accepting applications for Grandma Jill’s exclusive Daycare Academy for Gifted Children. The successful applicants will be required to be happy and cheerful at all times.

We will be offering Advanced Courses in Early Development, in the following areas:

•Number and Letter Recognition (1 2 3’s and A B C’s)

•Nursery Rhyme Memorization (Mother Goose Collection, Winnie the Pooh, etc.)

•Animation Appreciation (Cartoons, Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer, etc.)

•Stuffed Animal Studies (Peter Rabbit, Mr. Monkey, Eephmo, & Friends)

•Imagination and Creativity (Making up Fun Stories, Grandpa's Seminars)

We will expect attendees to follow a strict schedule including, Mealtime, Bath time, Study time, Play time, and Nap time. Diaper changes are mandatory. Goobering will not be allowed.

In addition, attendees will learn to smile all the time and to pose for perfect photos, speak in full and complete sentences, using proper grammar. They will learn to speak in three languages, English, French and Spanish. They will also learn to tell time and tie their shoes. Walking, will of course, be encouraged, but actual results are beyond our control, and cannot be guaranteed!

We have rigid guidelines and qualifications, and not all who apply will be accepted for enrollment. Insider’s Note: (We will tell you, it helps to be related to Grandma Jill!)