Читать книгу The Fiddler Is a Good Woman - Geoff Berner - Страница 13

Dharma Lodge, Galiano Island, B.C., 2015

People can be negative if they want to be. If that’s how they want to perceive reality. It’s sad, but some people, so many people, still haven’t figured out that we create our own realities with our minds. This has actually been proven by physicists at the big Halon Collider in Switzerland. You manifest things, and they happen. And if you manifest gossiping, and always criticizing, well, you know, you’re going to have a negative life, very frankly. And you only have yourself to blame for that. You manifested it. I’ve made several trips to India, and in India, let me tell you, the amazing people I met, they understand this. People who manifest negativity there are called Untouchables for a reason. You know, there’s a story about an old First Nations grandfather and his grandson, and I’m not going to tell the whole story but basically the grandfather says you have two wolves inside you, fighting each other in there, grandson, and one of them is the positive, “Yeah! Let’s do this!” wolf, and the other is the negative wolf with negative attitudes, the envy wolf, the always-seeing-the-glass-half-empty wolf. And they’re fighting. And the grandson says, “Which one is going to win, grandfather?” and the grandfather says, “The one you feed.” Aha? See what I mean?

I don’t have time for that kind of negativity. I don’t feed that negative wolf. I think the reason that some people talk negatively about me can be summed up in one word — the green-eyed monster: jealousy. At this point, my life is pretty self-actualized. I travel, I lead seminars. I get a lot of time in nature, which really recharges me and connects me to the Earth. I don’t mind if people call me a hippy. That’s their damage. I get things done. I don’t smoke the weed at all now, and even back then I certainly never smoked as much as DD used to, probably still does.

I was the one who found the houses we lived in. I was the one who made sure the rent and hydro bills got paid every month. I was the one who took her to the doctor’s when she inevitably came home sick from tour. I was the one who held her tight through her freakout nights, when all of her demons would come rushing out at her at once. And I’m still loyal to her to the point where I am not going to share what that was like. It was not pretty, I can tell you that.

For all the people who enjoyed DD in her touring persona and all of her so-called wild and free behaviour, I was the one keeping her alive so she could recover enough to go on the next adventure. And I can tell you that got just a little tiring sometimes, but I did it because I loved her and I knew she needed to do that, to live through that. That’s why with these women who claim to have been with her … I have nothing to say to them. They’re jealous because they know that I’m the love of DD’s life. She was with me for the longest, and I set her free, but she always came back, and I know that she will come crawling back someday. I don’t know if I’ll be in a place where I wish to take her back, but I know that her destiny is to return to me, because I’m manifesting that.