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Cards for Ladies.
ОглавлениеA woman’s name should never appear on a visiting-card without either “Mrs.” or “Miss” prefixed. The exception would be in the case of women who have regularly graduated in theology or medicine. Such are entitled, like their brothers, to prefix “Rev.” or “Dr.” to their names.
A married woman’s card is engraved with her husband’s name, with the prefix “Mrs.” No matter how “titled” the husband may be, his titles do not appear on his wife’s visiting-card. The wife of the President is not “Mrs. President Washington,” but “Mrs. George Washington.”
A widow may, if she prefers, retain the card engraved during her husband’s lifetime, unless by so doing she confuses her identity with that of some other lady whose husband is still living. It is more strictly correct for a widow to resume her own given name, and to have her card so engraved. An unmarried woman’s card is engraved with her full name, or the initials of given names, as she prefers, but always with the prefix “Miss.” The address may be engraved or written in the lower right corner.
If a society woman has a particular day for receiving calls, that fact is announced in the lower left corner. If this is engraved, it is understood to be a fixed custom; if written, it may be a transient arrangement. If a weekly “at home” day is observed, the name of the day is engraved, as “Tuesdays.” This means that during “calling hours” on any Tuesday the hostess will be found at home. A holiday, a birthday, a wedding anniversary, or other event in a friend’s life may be remembered by sending a card, upon which is penciled “Greeting,” “Congratulations,” “Best wishes,” or some similar expression. Such cards may be sent alone, or may accompany gifts.
Any brief message may be penciled on a woman’s card, provided the message is sufficiently personal to partake of the nature of a social courtesy. But the card message should not be sent when courtesy requires a note.
In strictly formal circles a young woman, during her first year in society, pays no visits alone. She accompanies her mother or chaperon. She has no separate card, but her name is engraved, or may be written, beneath that of her mother (or chaperon) on a card employed for these joint visits. After a year or so of social experience the young woman has her separate card, subject to the general rules for ladies’ cards.
During the first year after marriage cards engraved thus: “Mr. and Mrs. James Wills Gray,” may be used by the couple in paying calls, or returning wedding civilities. Such cards are also used when jointly sending presents at any time. For general visiting, after the first year, husband and wife have separate cards.
Cards are to be left in person in the following cases: After a first hospitality, whether accepted or not; calls of condolence, and after-dinner calls by cards. In such cases, when personal card-leaving is impossible, the card is sent by a private messenger, and an explanation, or apology, sent by note. Cards of condolence may be sent by mail by friends at a distance; but not by persons residing in the near vicinity. In cases where personal card-leaving is not imperative, cards may be sent either by messenger or by mail.
Social observance allows a man to delegate the distribution of his visiting-cards to a near female relative, whenever it becomes impracticable for him to attend to the matter personally. Only the women of his own household, or a relative with whom he habitually pays visits, can thus represent him by proxy.