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There are times when the Bazooms game goes too far. What may be fun and games to one woman may be sexual harassment to another. Responses to crudeness or to offensive comments or actions by customers take many different forms at Bazooms. Katy says that when customers deal “sexually” with her: I just get so embarrassed and walk away. But if they said something that offended me, I’d just go to the managers. I wouldn’t even hesitate. Trina concurs, saying: We don’t have to put up with jack. I won’t take [offensive remarks]. It’s not worth my pride. I give customers the gnarliest looks. Kristy’s response to offensive remarks is different: I usually just laugh and walk away. As illustrated in these differing instances, women are responding in varied ways to the sexualized nature of the job, and to offensiveness from customers….

Harassment is taken for granted as part of the job at Bazooms. By defining abuse as part of the job, waitresses can continue to work without necessarily internalizing or accepting the daily hassles and degradations as aspects of their self-definitions or sense of self-worth (LaPointe 1992:391). In other words, if women enter into a waitressing job expecting crude remarks, degrading uniforms, and unnecessary management-based power plays, they may prepare themselves for the worst by setting personal boundaries, with conditions attached.

The waitress (Christine) who had her “butt grabbed” made a decision to deal with the harassment in a way that she thought would bring a higher tip. And it did. Another waitress, Twayla, made a decision to react quite differently in a similar circumstance: I turned right around and told him, “You will not do these things to me.” These two women weighed personal priorities and dealt with similar sexual behavior in different ways. Christine decided to allow a man to cross a particular boundary—but for a price, turning the incident to her advantage. Twayla made clear her boundary would not be crossed….

For others, self-esteem is more undermined than affirmed by the sexualization of the workplace, and the tips are not worth the price. Bazooms is kind of degrading sometimes, says Trina. [Customers] refer to us as if we are stupid. It’s hard to explain, the way they talk … they are talking down to us. Of course, contempt sometimes goes the other way. Trina goes on to add that the waitresses don’t respect the customers either: I think the waitresses kind of look down on the men. Because all of them—it’s like they are dirty old men.