Читать книгу Emotional Sobriety II - Группа авторов - Страница 8

Though balance is one of the most underrated attributes of all, being non-dramatic and low-key, we observe that the label “unbalanced,” applied to a person, is never a desired one. Balance is one of the gifts of long-term sobriety that seem to be appreciated later or, by the unusually mature, at any time.

From San José, a member describes balance to a “T” in 1976, after noting the faux ecstasies of his drinking days. “Today, by the grace of God, I strive for a basically bland diet. For example, on this day I've worked eight hours, washed my clothes, gone to a meeting, and written a poem about gratitude. Later, I'll meditate. Dull by my past standards, but pleasantly sane by my AA way of thinking.”

Before he discovered Step Eleven and meditation, Ken of Ames, Iowa, writes that he was powerless over unhappiness and his life was unmanageable. “Long before I was a binge drinker,” he adds, “I was a binge thinker. I tended to think incessantly.” His mind had no “off” switch, coming up with grudges, resentments, and so on, creating the state of imbalance, ripe for relapse.

When Jim of Largo, Florida's home group holds a workshop on emotional sobriety, he becomes convinced that time in the program is not enough to ensure it, and that certain emotions will remain deadly because they “block me from dealing in a mature, emotionally sober way, rather than just reacting.”

With his new sense of balance, Bruce H. of Arlington, Virginia, decides he doesn't have to memorize anything in the Big Book after all; neither does he have to arrange the chairs perfectly every time. And G.P. of Elbert, Colorado admits that when the pink cloud hit him, “I went insane. Quite starkly mad. … For one thing, I couldn't say no—a clear indication of insanity. … I accepted five full-time job offers, and was thinking of a sixth.” He also bought everything in sight.

Newly sober; deeply imbalanced.

“Thank the Higher Power,” he writes. “The malady doesn't seem to be permanent.”