Читать книгу The Complete Strain Trilogy: The Strain, The Fall, The Night Eternal - Чак Хоган, Гильермо дель Торо, Guillermo Toro del - Страница 48

EPH’S CALL RANG through forty minutes late to his, Kelly’s, and Zack’s fifty-minute session with Dr. Inga Kempner, their court-appointed family therapist. He was relieved not to be sitting inside her first-floor office in a prewar brownstone in Astoria, the place where the final custody issues were to be decided.

Eph pled his case through the doctor’s speakerphone. “Let me explain—I’ve been dealing all weekend with the most extreme of circumstances. This dead-airplane situation out at Kennedy. It couldn’t be helped.”

Dr. Kempner said, “This isn’t the first time you’ve failed to present yourself at an appointment.”

“Where’s Zack?” he said.

“Out in the waiting area,” said Dr. Kempner.

She and Kelly had been talking without him. Things had already been decided. It was all over before it had even begun.

“Look, Dr. Kempner—all I ask is that you reschedule our appointment …”

“Dr. Goodweather, I am afraid that—”

“No—wait—please, hold on.” He cut right to it. “Look, am I the perfect father? No, I’m not. I admit that. Points for honesty, right? In fact, I’m not even sure I’d want to be the ‘perfect’ father, and raise some plain vanilla kid who’s not going to make a difference in this world. But I do know that I want to be the best father I can be. Because that is what Zack deserves. And that is my only goal right now.”

“All appearances to the contrary,” said Dr. Kempner.

Eph gave his phone the finger. Nora stood just a few feet away. He felt angry, yet strangely exposed and vulnerable.

“Listen to me,” said Eph, fighting hard to keep his cool. “I know that you know I have rearranged my life around this situation, around Zack. I established this office in New York City specifically so that I could be here, near his mother, so that he would have the benefit of us both. I—usually—have very regular hours during the week, a dependable schedule, with established off-call times. I’m working doubles on weekends in order to have two off for every one I’m on.”

“Did you attend an AA meeting this weekend?”

Eph grew silent. All the air went out of his tires. “Were you even listening?”

“Have you felt the need to drink?”

“No,” he grunted, making a supreme effort to keep his cool. “I’ve been sober twenty-three months, you know that.”

Dr. Kempner said, “Dr. Goodweather, this isn’t a question of who loves your son more. It never is, in these situations. Wonderful, that you both care so much, so deeply. Your dedication to Zack is plainly evident. But, as is so often the case, there seems to be no way to prevent this from turning into a contest. The state of New York issues guidelines I must follow in my recommendation to the judge.”

Eph swallowed bitterly. He tried to interrupt, but she kept on talking.

“You’ve resisted the court’s original custodial inclination, you’ve fought it every step of the way. And I consider that a measure of your affection for Zachary. You have also made great personal strides, and that is both evident and admirable. But now we find that you have reached your court of last resort, if you will. In the formulas we use for arbitrating custody. Visitation rights, of course, have never been in question …”

“No, no, no,” murmured Eph, like a man about to be rammed by an oncoming car. It was this same sinking feeling he’d had all weekend. He tried reaching back—to he and Zack sitting in his apartment, eating Chinese food and playing video games. The entire weekend stretched out before them. What a glorious feeling that had been.

“My point, Dr. Goodweather,” said Dr. Kempner, “is that I can’t see much purpose in going any further.”

Eph turned to Nora, who looked up at him, understanding in an instant what he was going through.

“You can tell me it’s over,” Eph whispered into the phone. “But it’s not over, Dr. Kempner. It never will be.” And with that, he hung up.

He turned away, knowing Nora would respect him in this moment and not try to approach. And for that he was grateful, because there were tears in his eyes that he did not want her to see.