Читать книгу Way of Change - Hailey Klein - Страница 8

OVERTURE

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Look—you just initiated change! You picked up this kook and now the process is in motion. That was pretty easy, wasn’t it? Word is out that there is something in your life or about your life that you want to change or do differently. And we’re just getting started. Your actions have power, but so do your thoughts and your emotions. They are all at the root of change and creating all your heart’s desire in this life. The momentum of change begins now. It begins simply with the energy of your thoughts and even the words you choose to use. The shift in energy in your mind this minute is all that needs to happen to begin movement. Well, you are still reading, aren’t you? You are just changing all over the place. Change is good, change is joy. And don’t forget that you have a mighty powerful ally, the universe. You are partners in change because as soon as you show and tell and feel and think out to the universe what you want, you will receive it. When your thoughts, your emotions, and your physical self are all on the same track, then there is nothing to stop you from getting all that you want. We just have to learn how to line everything up together—mind, body, and spirit—and we are ready to go. This journey we are on is about showing up for life every day, whether you feel like standing in the hack of the room or leading the brass hand up the aisles. Hopefully your bandleader days will increase and the drecky, low-down, hangdog blues days will he outnumbered. Pick the moment and make your move. Show up with all your senses alert and ablaze, ready for adventure.

How we hold people, places, and things in our minds and hearts is enormously powerful. How we hold them in our minds becomes how we hold them in our bodies. That emotional energy can he a source of courage, strength, and wellness or keep us stuck in a place of fear and illness. It is up to us. That energy has to settle somewhere. It can bring us into balance or throw us off track and out of alignment with our higher purpose. Our higher purpose is to live in maximum joy as much as possible, to live passionately, not dreading what comes next but asking, WOW, what comes next?!

■ BEGIN THE BEGUINE ■

You build momentum by first getting the notion of change in your consciousness and then continuing to roll small changes into bigger life changes. The thoughts build with emotions and desire, and the process is carried fully into the attentive world when you speak or shout or sing or whisper your hopes and dreams into the night. The momentum of change picks up and carries itself further, maybe spinning off into another direction or aspect of your life. I am not asking you to jump into making big life changes . . . not yet. It will happen as a result of making your desire link in harmony with your emotional energy and attention or focus. Sneak up on the bigger changes by working toward the small triumphs in parts of your life where you feel courageous and strong. Small shifts and changes are what get the machine fired up.

If you make a shift in one aspect—emotional, spiritual, or physical—the others are impacted as well. Meaningful, lasting change happens when you work on small movements in back area. We will find balance if we direct energy toward our emotional, spiritual, and physical selves evenly. But living in balance means living passionately in all aspects of your life. Peace and quiet isn’t the goal. What’s the point of peace? Wouldn’t you rather wake up every morning excited and curious about the day than with the predominant emotional focus of just getting through it? It is getting “in shape,” like anything else, and when it becomes the norm, vs. the occasional, it is easy to maintain. It is not a drain or strain, but the usual. Living passionately does not have to be exhausting; on the contrary, it can be energizing on every front. Living passionately is the process of finding joy in creating the life you want, focusing on life in this very moment, and asking for your heart’s desire to come true.

One area of your life cannot become the load-bearing wall, or the whole structure gets pulled down. Spread the energy across the board. Building strength in one area helps us to be courageous and take risks in others. You have to be motivated to question yourself in back aspect of your life. That is why it is important to do physical exercise, to push yourself to face difficult emotional situations, and to question where you fit into the grander spiritual plan. Whether we challenge ourselves physically or open ourselves emotionally or spiritually and let our fears go, we are making room for the sacred to enter. I have had my own doubts and battles with God and religion over the years but am currently nestled in an easier place and have found a way to connect to the Divine that makes sense to me. For me, the Divine is universal energy and needs us as much as we need it to thrive. I ask you to hear my references to God or the Divine however it makes sense to you. And if that means substituting the name of your dog or cat, then that is just fine, because I know how much you love your beasties.

This path is about letting in joy—integrating small changes in your life so that you will have the emotional and spiritual tools to carry through with the bigger changes. Each step you take makes room for the new energy. Creativity is a tool. Awareness is a tool. Faith is a tool. You are supported by the universe, powers so much greater than yourself or the negative voices in your head or from your past, or the fear in your heart. Every strong, courageous, loving thought and gesture refills the well and heals us all.

Working with this hook, you will discover your own rhythm of change, open the avenues to allow joy in, and welcome the emotions of change. The first threshold to cross will focus on who you are, how you interact in the world, and how you spend your energy. The second asks you to look at the truth of where you are now as you begin the journey and asks where you want to go. The third invites you to practice with small changes and actions and key in to the momentum you have already keen creating. And finally, you will come to a new place as a changed person and will explore what still waits to be done. You will have new tools and emotional vocabulary and also, I hope, a Letter understanding of your role in your own life. There will be new challenges and questions at every new spot, and you will spin from one place to the next, carrying the momentum and learning to love change and what’s around the next corner.

Each step of change is an unfolding, an unfolding that may reveal difficult truths and realizations. The idea is to move past them, drift past them like a balloon in the Macys Thanksgiving Day parade—you can see them as you float on over them, acknowledge them, and keep on going. By all means, don’t stay there and get tangled up in the wires. Understanding and accepting these truths and realizations will carry you on to the next step of the journey and closer to lasting change by making room for courage and joy. If you follow through the steps and cross each threshold, you will gain a Letter understanding of the energy within and around you and, therefore, the power to influence the momentum of change.

My grandmother was a recognized collage artist who came to it when she was in her fifties. When I was young, she set me up at my own little table while she was working and gave me my own supplies to create with. One of her sisters was a painter, another a singer, and their mother was a dancer and activist—creativity runs deep in the family. I have fallen into writing in my thirties and seem to write like I make collages. Come to think of it, this is Low I make quilts and cook, too. First there is a wild flurry of tearing and shouting and crashing and then flipping through piles of paper and magazines and hits of boxes and hags. Then, by trying little things here, throwing paint and sparkles at the paper there, and then obscuring almost all of what I just put down with seven more layers of color and texture just because something else caught my eye, something is hatched. My friend Cathleen likens me to a raccoon because they are intrigued by shiny things and I can’t seem to stay on one subject for more than a very few minutes. I, too, am distracted by shiny things. I am not great at structure or confined spaces, so that is what you get with my writing style, too. Let’s think of it as a collage. There may be interesting corners and sections that reveal themselves over time and after several passes. I hope the overall canvas is pleasing and maybe intriguing and inspiring. The adventure of life is textured, layered, colorful, and ever-changing. And that is a good thing.

I wrote The Way of Change as a journey of discussion and discovery about ourselves, our energy, and the energy all around us, and how we can impact change in our lives and in the world. There is great work to be done and challenges to be met in the stillness as well. For some, the quiet will be the hardest part—not only making room for it but looking at and accepting what you may find there. A day away from a workout is when muscles are built in physical training, and the same can be said for the stillness in spiritual training. The exercises focused on delving into a spiritual assessment are as important as any action steps. If you are focused on every worst-case scenario, disease prevention instead of wellness as the natural state of being, letting fear and unhappiness predominate, then we will work to change your emotional vocabulary. We will work to make joy and possibility predominate your thoughts and emotions and be the stars in your spiritual theater.

We will explore fear, but only in passing, because I don’t want you to stay there. Through stories and exercises, we will look at how faith, intuition, and spirit are involved with changing our lives. Some of the exercises just might bring up the questions you were hoping would go away or truths you have turned away from. We’ve all done that. Following through with the exercises builds consciousness through the shift, and using new or atrophied emotions helps trigger the momentum of change. Sometimes the best we can do is to just figure out the questions and take small, deliberate steps as an answer, and that is the best place to begin. We know all these answers already of what brings us joy and how we want our lives to be, but we may have to quiet the noise that has drowned these voices out. We will reach inside to bring out the thoughts that bring us maximum joy and begin the journey leading with these emotions for a change.

You may balk at certain steps in the process and have to repeat others before you are ready to move further along. Take this on in your own time, at your own speed. We all learn differently. It may be challenging at first, and uncomfortable, and probably unfamiliar. Part of the challenge is to stay there and not fall back into the familiar. It is easier to go from a place of pain to a place of joy than to go from a place of complacency to a place of joy. From complacency we tend to sink into fear and unhappiness, rather than making the leap to euphoria. The tasks and assignments are designed for you to create subtle energy shifts and to refocus emotional cues to carry you through. Hopefully, you will integrate some of them into your life permanently. You may need to learn to walk again when you just got used to running everywhere, but when you begin to feel the momentum of change, you will feel the power of the energy within and around you. You will be amazed. And that is the point of life, after all.

■ CH-CH-CHANGES ■

Many women I know, including myself, react the same way to dramatic (or traumatic) change in our lives—we cut and/or dye our hair. I am certain I do it as a catalyst for change. It’s so immediate and doesn’t take months or years, like dieting or learning French. I’m known as the “woman of a thousand hairstyles” by my friend David because every time he sees me, my hair is different. Somehow telling myself, “It is only hair, it will grow back,” gives me permission to change other aspects of my life and slip into other personas. Sometimes I find the motivation and courage to venture into the unknown, the untried territories of spiritual discovery. Small changes are a good way to begin. If a small external change is going to inspire you to make courageous internal changes, then take that small bite and see what happens.

My hair has gotten pretty short since I began writing this book. It has been a joyful and challenging journey. I believe what I have written with all of my heart. I offer it with the intention of inspiring you to act with grace as often as you can and to find joy on the journey you are on now or the new path yet to be discovered, yet to be embraced.

I urge you to accept both the missteps and the triumphs on your journey. In doing so, you may reveal your personal source springs of courage. You may become more mindful of the world around you, stay longer in a place of joy and wonder, and find a deeper gratitude for all that is present and possible in your life. Take away what inspires you and leave what doesn’t. Through the many stories I tell in the book, you may find the world a little bit smaller; you just might feel reassured to know that you are not alone with your questions, reactions, or dreams. Better yet, my hope is that they will inspire you on your journey of self-discovery. Through working with this book, may you discover what ignites your spirit.

P.S. You will come across quotes from writers, poets, and inspirational voices throughout the book. Read all the quotes out loud when you come across them, even if you have read/heard them before. You may hear something you didn’t allow through your filters last time, so listen between the lines. Read each line slowly, digest it, roll around in it, dance on it. You will likely hear something for the first time.

■ THE HARD PARTS DISCUSSION ■

Significant change of any kind requires looking inward and understanding the energy of where we are and who we are. You are the only one who can change your life. I repeat: You are the only one who can change your life. No program, book, or seminar does it for you. The process of change begins the very moment you think about something differently. Some of the steps toward change are emotionally challenging and involve time, thou and action. It may take you longer to work through some stages than others. You will meet resistance at every step, from yourself and from others close by in your world. It is hard enough to deal with your own fears without absorbing other people’s, too. You will have to take extra care not to let other folks derail you on your journey. Remember how far you have come by focusing on the desire for change; things are already in motion. I will try to provide tools along the way, but you will have to do the hard parts. Allowing can be a hard part, at first. Sometimes it may seem difficult just to water the plants, greet the sunrise, or walk the dog, but these simple activities are the place to begin practicing to notice, to appreciate, and to do so passionately—every cell in your body will respond to these feelings of joy.

■ GETTING OUT OF THE WAY ■

Poet Rainer Maria Rilke wrote about transforming joy from within for the most significant impact. Transforming joy within does not mean blindly jumping right into the action phase of change, but looking before we leap—understanding the authentic needs and desires for change and our motivations for initiating the movement, then getting ourselves out of the way, and just sitting back and letting it happen. We do need to be at peace with where we must begin, which is at the truth.

We are the only ones in the way of getting everything that we want and having a joyful, abundant life. It may be easier to assign blame to everyone who ever made an appearance in your life, but every day, all day, we make decisions with information we experience. We decide not only how to physically respond to people, places, and things but how to respond emotionally and spiritually. We may or may not be conscious of how we are responding. If we are conscious of what kind of energy we are directing at someone or something, it may be a learned, self-conditioned response that does not get us anywhere but into an emotional rut. We have the choice to respond differently each and every time.

The universe will respond to movement or change, no matter how small, conscious or unconscious. It has to, for energy shifts of any size are met with a response—action, reaction. One change in the system changes the whole system itself. Not only will you be different at the end of the new road, but your immediate and the greater universes will be altered along with you. Effortless turnarounds do not exist at this level of spiritual transformation, however. This is the hardest work you will ever do. Once you find your new rhythm, though, you can flow through life with greater ease with tools to cut yourself free from the brambles if you get caught up.

■ REMEMBERING HOW TO WALK ■

There is good reason why most of us cannot succeed with the all-action-oriented “just do it” attitude: it sets us up to fail. Overnight, dramatic change is usually fleeting. You can’t wake up and say to yourself, “I am going to go out and run ten miles today,” if you haven’t moved off the couch in six years. Well, you can say it, but I am not sure how far you will actually get. You can’t run ahead of yourself emotionally, either. “I will never say a mean thing about anyone, and I will definitely never eat another cookie so long as I live.” You are just setting yourself up for disappointment with that approach. If you ignore the emotional and spiritual steps, the change will have nothing to anchor itself to, nothing more than vapor. This is a training or retraining process. Micromovements in focus and emphasis are all that are required. I learned that on a physical plane in yoga class. Micromovements have a tremendous impact on the whole experience. The physical carries over into the emotional and spiritual realms in yoga, and that is true in life as well.

■ I DON’T KNOW HOW THEY KEEP FINDING ME ■

This may sound like a familiar story. Don’t stop reading if you have heard it or lived it before. Read it again just to make sure. After being lied to and cheated on and taken advantage of for several years, a friend of mine left a bad relationship. This was a good final move after several false starts. Her response was to change everything externally in her life. She moved, found new job, and dyed her hair. Great! None of these are bad to do, but neither an assessment nor an understanding of her role in the relationship was ever addressed in the process. Almost instantly she was involved with a new man. Although he was not abusive, she discovered early on that she was playing the exact subservient role she had in the abusive relationship. Her new answer was that it must be that there are no good men out there. Not fair. Nothing had changed because she hadn’t looked inside to see where this attraction and behavior was coming from. She was overlooking her role in the situations. She was attracting the same circumstances and relationships over and over again. Behavior patterns are broken only if we look at our own role in perpetuating them. Learn to recognize familiar situations and emotions. Ask yourself how you feel. If it doesn’t feel right at your core, then it isn’t. When we understand where we have focused our emotional energy, consciously and unconsciously, then we can decide to do things differently today, right this minute. And not just decide but know it, and connect to that decision with our hearts and minds and spirits that we want something different. This is the understanding and internalizing step to meaningful change. Life doesn’t just happen to us. We have a role in it. We are conducting the symphony, and wherever we point our baton, that instrument/emotion is emphasized or spotlighted. We forget that we can redirect the emphasis at any time. When the whole orchestra is playing in harmony and rhythm, with lovely solos here and there, is there anything better? Either we allow it to happen and impact us a certain way or we influence and redirect it.

■ LOOK WHAT I MADE! ■

Here we are on this magical journey and we have the chance to change everything about it all day, every day, with every decision we make and thought we think and emotion we attach to each choice—all that we offer into the world. Change involves courage, truth, and faith. Change does not mean instant cure or happiness, because each alteration, however small, brings with it its own set of lessons and challenges. It requires listening to and hearing yourself and others without filters. Let your critical voices fade away, and live more consciously in the realm of all things possible. Change is challenging and happens whether or not we consciously decide to influence it, so we might as well hop on that bad-boy freight train and see if we can fling ourselves off near the stop we want. Remember when you were little and you made some spectacular glittering piece of art and ran through the house to show someone, shouting, “Look what I made!” That is joy. That is this life.