Читать книгу She - HC Warner - Страница 11

‘Pull over here!’

‘What?’ Ben turned towards her in surprise. ‘Are you OK?’

‘Pull over!’ she repeated.

Ben frowned to himself but immediately indicated and pulled into a small layby overlooking the patchwork of green and gold fields that criss-crossed the Suffolk landscape, undulating down towards the river. His heart hammered with sudden trepidation, as he turned off the engine and looked over at her expectantly. He cleared his throat. ‘What’s up?’

Bella turned her huge, dark eyes towards him, causing his stomach to flip. Despite being in his open-top Mercedes, he could still detect notes of her scent on the light summer evening breeze. ‘I’m pregnant.’

There was a rushing sound in Ben’s ears, as if a giant wave was thundering into shore behind him and he gripped the steering wheel to steady himself against its onslaught. ‘Pregnant?’

Bella looked away, her exquisite face still and expressionless.

Ben swallowed hard. ‘Are you sure?’

At his words, she closed her eyes for a moment, as a shadow of temper briefly swept over her smooth brow. ‘Yes.’ The word came out as a hiss.

Ben’s mouth formed a silent ‘oh’. He didn’t know how he was supposed to react. Didn’t know what he was supposed to say. And it was so soon. They had only been together for a couple of months.

He tried to grab onto the thoughts careering through his head. ‘How long?’ he said, snatching at the only one he could keep hold of.

Bella bit her plump bottom lip, which was quivering slightly. He couldn’t tell if it was nerves or tears. ‘I think about eight weeks. But I won’t know for sure until the scan.’ Her voice had taken on a robotic edge and she continued to stare straight ahead, with a slightly glassy expression that unnerved him.

Ben nodded, his mind whirring back to eight weeks previously. She must have conceived on their very first night together if that was the case. He leaned heavily against his seat to anchor himself. To steady his thoughts. His mouth was suddenly dry and his hands clammy. How was that possible? he wondered distractedly. That one part of your body dried up while another produced moisture. Shock, he supposed.

He became aware that Bella was watching him and allowed his gaze to shift back towards her. She gave him an uncertain smile. ‘Are you happy about it?’

‘Of course.’ The words came out automatically. What else could he say? It didn’t really matter what his feelings were, there was only one answer he could give. He tilted his head so that he could look at her properly. ‘How about you?’

Bella’s heart-shaped face melted into a demure smile. ‘I’m happy. Just … it’s a bit of a surprise, that’s all.’

Yes, Ben thought, she could say that again. His mind drifted to the day he had first met her, back in May. He was having a drink after work with Matt, his oldest and closest friend. Bella had been sitting at a table near to theirs, clearly waiting for someone who hadn’t shown up. Ben had been vaguely aware of her presence but was too engrossed in his conversation with Matt to really notice her.

Eventually, Matt nodded towards her, with an amused expression on his face. ‘I think you’ve got an admirer, mate.’

Ben frowned, before following Matt’s gaze. He didn’t believe in love at first sight and had always scoffed at the idea of a ‘lightning bolt’ moment, but that was exactly what happened when their eyes met. His mouth shifted into the shape of a smile without him telling it to. She smiled back and it was like a door opening to allow sunlight to flood in. Long, glossy dark hair, deep brown eyes, razor-sharp cheekbones and straight white teeth that looked even whiter in the darkness of the bar. She wasn’t just pretty. She was breathtakingly, head-turningly perfect.

As if on auto-pilot, Ben picked up his drink and walked over to her table. He thought he heard Matt mutter something along the lines of ‘Don’t mind me, will you?’ but he was oblivious to everything else around him, except her.

‘Hello.’ He put his drink on her table and sat down. For some reason, it didn’t occur to him to even ask if she minded him joining her. He just knew with absolute certainty that she didn’t.

She blinked slowly, her long black lashes almost sweeping the tip of those incredible cheekbones as she did so. ‘Hello.’

There was a long pause, as Ben looked at her, drinking her in, before he realized that he needed to say something. ‘I’m Ben.’

Her full lips parted into a smile, revealing those startlingly white, even teeth again. ‘Nice to meet you, Ben. I’m Bella.’

Ben nodded, unable to tear his eyes away from her. ‘Bella,’ he repeated, trying it out for size. He liked it. It was certainly the right name for someone who looked like her. ‘Can I buy you a drink, Bella?’

‘Thank you, yes.’ Her expression was a mixture of amusement and curiosity.

‘Champagne?’ he guessed.

She shook her head. ‘Sparkling water.’

Ben raised his eyebrows in surprise. ‘OK …’

He stood up and as he did so, he suddenly remembered Matt sitting alone at a nearby table.

‘Oh! Matt … I’m just getting some more drinks in. You’re welcome to join us?’ He desperately hoped Matt would decline.

Matt responded with a knowing smirk and a shake of the head. ‘Thanks, but I’m going to call it a night.’ He drained the rest of his beer and stood up. ‘Have fun,’ he added, patting Ben on the back as he left the bar with a purposeful stride.

Ben was as quick as he could be getting their drinks, not wanting to leave Bella unattended for long, just in case someone else took his place. He breathed a sigh of relief when he returned to a still-empty chair.

‘Thank you.’ Bella picked up her glass and took a long sip. Ben did the same, watching her over the top of his beer bottle, mesmerized. Everything about her was perfect, even her hands.

‘So, Ben,’ she began, her huge, exotic eyes drawing him in like a magnet. ‘Are you single?’

Ben spluttered on his beer. ‘Um, yes. I am. Definitely. Single.’

Bella smiled. ‘Good.’

‘Are you?’ he countered, suddenly nervous.

Bella dropped her gaze. ‘I am.’

‘Good. And do you get hit on by lots of men who aren’t single?’ Ben could feel his hackles rising on her behalf.

Bella looked back up at him with a half-smile. ‘All the time. That’s why it was my first question.’

‘Ah. Well, it looks like you got lucky with me then!’ Ben tried to keep his tone jokey but found he was uncharacteristically nervous and he didn’t quite manage to pull it off.

Bella seemed not to notice. She flashed him a wide, dazzling smile. ‘It looks like I did.’

They chatted easily for a while, before Ben motioned to Bella’s glass. ‘Another drink?’

She tilted her head, causing the sheet of shiny black hair to slide over her shoulder in a sleek wave. ‘I’d prefer dinner,’ she said, with a mischievous glint in her eye.

Ben grinned. ‘So would I.’ Simultaneously, they pushed back their chairs and stood up. Standing, she was even more of a vision. Tall and slim, dressed in a dark green silky wrap dress and high-heeled strappy nude sandals, she walked confidently in front of him towards the door, as if she knew that the eyes of every man in the room were turning towards her as she passed. Already, Ben could feel a swell of pride that it was him she was with.

As they stepped out into the cool night air, she reached over to take his arm, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. ‘Where are we going?’ she asked, as they fell into step with each other.

Ben wondered for a moment if he was dreaming this whole episode, it seemed so surreal. He wasn’t used to picking up women in bars. In fact, he had never picked up a complete stranger before. And yet, it seemed so right, as if he already knew her from somewhere. There was no awkwardness or hesitation. It all had a strange inevitability about it. His mind raced, as he tried to give off an impression of cool insouciance. ‘I know a great place.’ He gave her what he hoped was a knowing smile and steered her in the direction of his favourite restaurant, praying that Nigel, the maître d’ would have a table.

Nigel greeted them like old friends and, after pocketing the £50 Ben had surreptitiously slipped him, led them to a table by the window, with a spectacular view of London lit up and twinkling in the inky night sky as far as the eye could see.

‘Wow,’ Bella gazed out, her eyes shining with delight. ‘What an incredible view. And what an incredible place.’

Ben smiled to himself, hardly able to believe his luck. Out of the blue, he was sitting opposite the most stunning girl he had ever met, about to eat in one of London’s swankiest restaurants. Already he could feel the malaise that had been suffocating him for the previous few months, ever since Charlotte told him she needed some time apart to work out what she wanted, lifting. He swallowed and pushed all thoughts of Charlotte to the back of his mind. He wanted to clear his head to concentrate on this vision in front of him.

Sometimes, Ben reflected, sitting beside Bella in his car two months later, as he tried to digest her news, life just took you by the hand and led you in a certain direction. He wondered if he would have been able to stop the course of events, even if he had wanted to. Unlikely, he decided.

Just a year ago, he was flying high in his work as an advertising executive, still living with Charlotte, planning to propose and thinking that he knew exactly how his life was going to play out. But then Charlotte had dropped her bombshell as they returned to their flat in London, after spending Christmas with his parents in Suffolk. He remembered her words with an aching clarity: ‘I think we need to have some time apart.’

He had actually laughed. He had thought she was joking. When he became aware that she wasn’t laughing with him, he glanced over at her and saw a tear sliding down her cheek. ‘What? But why?’ His throat dried around the words and he felt his stomach contract. She was deadly serious.

Charlotte swiped at the tears with the back of her hand. ‘I need to be sure that this …’ She motioned from him to her. ‘That this is right for us. Both of us.’

Ben frowned and tried to focus on the road, although his mind was racing and he could feel his own tears threatening.

‘It’s right for me, Charlie. I’m not having any doubts. What’s brought this on?’

Charlotte had shaken her head. ‘I just … I just feel like I need some time, Ben. Ever since Dad died, I’ve been feeling so confused. And a bit rudderless. Wondering if this is it. I’m sorry.’

Ben had frowned to himself. He knew her dad’s death the year before had hit her hard but he didn’t realize how hard. Now that he thought about it, the signs were there: the faraway look she got in her eye more and more often. The sense that she wasn’t listening when he spoke. But there was something else too: the name she had started mentioning whenever she talked about work; the way her eyes danced as she regaled him with stories. He somehow felt it was connected.

They had driven the rest of the way home enveloped in a thick, dark silence, both of them immersed deep in their own thoughts. Charlotte leaped out of the car as soon as he had parked and disappeared into the flat, while Ben stayed put, still unable to digest her words. He tried to convince himself that she was just having a moment. That he would walk inside and find her waiting on the bed, laughing at how she had ‘got him’.

But as he finally let himself into the flat, he already knew that although he would find her in their bedroom, she wouldn’t be waiting for him on the bed, she would be packing.

‘Where will you go?’ He stood in the doorway, watching as she threw her clothes into two large suitcases. Not just an overnight bag. This was serious. She wasn’t planning to come back.

Charlotte ran her hand through her long, fair hair and bit her lip. ‘Lucy’s.’

Ben nodded. ‘Does she know you’re coming?’

Charlotte blinked quickly, as a flush spread up her pale, slender neck. Finally, she looked up and met Ben’s eye. ‘Yes.’

Ben felt his legs weaken. He took a deep breath and grasped the doorframe to support himself. ‘So you told her before you told me?’

Charlotte’s eyes filled with tears. ‘I just told her I was confused, Ben. She said if I ever needed some time out, she had a spare room.’

‘God.’ The feeling of betrayal seemed to squeeze the air out of Ben’s lungs. He had always thought Lucy was his biggest ally, often taking Ben’s side over her own sister’s.

‘Don’t look like that, Ben. Lucy adores you. For what it’s worth, she said that you’re one in a million and I’d be an idiot to let you go.’

Ben smiled sadly. It was a small crumb of comfort. ‘Then don’t let me go.’ It seemed so simple, so straightforward.

Charlotte hesitated, as different waves of emotion crossed her pretty, unlined face. After a moment, she seemed to make up her mind. She closed the cases and zipped them up carefully. The sound of the zips seemed to have a certain finality to it. Like a full stop at the end of a sentence. ‘I have to,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry.’

It had been six months since she left. How much his life had changed in that time. Here he was, living with someone new – Bella had gone home with him that first night and never really left – someone he would previously have thought was way out of his league, now expecting their first child. It made him feel dizzy to think about it. He wondered how Charlotte would react when she heard. Would she feel pleased that he had moved on with his life? Or would she feel regret that he seemed to have got over her so easily?

‘Ben?’ said Bella, as she laid her head on his chest that night.

‘Hmmm?’

‘I’d like to get married. Before the baby comes.’

Ben felt his whole body instinctively tense. He knew that having a baby was a much bigger commitment than getting married but somehow this seemed to loom so much larger. Less than a year ago, he had been planning to propose to Charlotte. Had envisaged her reaction as he asked her at sunset on their favourite beach in Portugal, her blue eyes glinting as she tearfully accepted.

Instead, he was unable to see Bella’s face in the darkness as she issued her declaration. It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. She had made her mind up and he would have no influence at all. It was going to happen. ‘Right,’ he managed.

There was a long, heavy silence and soon Bella’s breathing became regular in the way it always did when she dropped off to sleep. Ben couldn’t sleep. His mind was too preoccupied. He loved her, of that he was certain. She was sexy, clever and utterly captivating. She made his head swim and his heart dance. But for the first time, Ben thought, there was something else about her. He stared into the darkness, trying to put his finger on what it was. Eventually, just as his eyelids were beginning to droop, the words came to him. Sometimes … she scared him.