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Introduction

THE GROUNDWORK

For most of my life the smell of freshly brewed coffee wafting through our home pulled me in like a magnet. My husband Jack was always the first one up in the morning to make sure we would start our day with a cup of joy. Soon he would shout out, “Honey, the coffee’s ready; we can start our morning devotions.” Our life revolved around our cups of coffee, with us happily sipping delicious dark liquid throughout the day. But I had no idea how that delightful pleasure would forever change my life. You see, Jack died while going to the kitchen for his cup of coffee.

Through my deepest pain I’ve discovered that joy and pain do coexist. How joy is not something we brew up first thing in the morning and sip on all day but already resides within us and needs to be called forth. Joy is the currency of heaven and available to all of us, at any time, and throughout any circumstances. We all need to know this because we all crave joy.

We have an insatiable desire for happiness. We want it, we need it, and we can have it. But let’s not go for just happiness, because it’s joy we need. Because joy is more than just feeling good. Joy is deeper, richer, long-lasting, and rooted in God and his love for us. Our connection with him opens the reservoir for us to enjoy his unshakable and endless joy.

It’s a beautiful thing when we crash, survive, grow stronger, and find joy. But I have to admit that this verse in James 1:2 has always aggravated me: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds.” This isn’t a quote to encourage someone facing adversity.

I know what a trial feels like. Since 1994 I have encountered many tragedies, and they have not been joyful. But I concur with the end of that thought in verse 4: “so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

Oh, wouldn’t we all love to be “not lacking anything”? No matter what life throws at us, we’re able to stand strong, like a tall, majestic palm tree with deep roots. Bending and bowing. Not breaking. Staying beautiful and joyful.

Nurturing joy, like building muscles or filling a bank account, doesn’t happen by wishing or hoping. It takes intention. When I get up in the morning, I decide what clothes and shoes I’m going to wear. I decide on my jewellery and makeup. I can also choose joy.

A crisis always reveals our ability to become angry and bitter or stay joyful. My first husband, Dick Conley, died two weeks before Christmas in 1994. He collapsed and died of a heart attack while playing the sport he loved and lived for: basketball. When the policeman stood on my doorstep and told me I would have to go to the morgue to identify Dick’s body, my world shattered into a million pieces. I couldn’t fathom ever feeling happiness again. Ever. At the age of 47 I thought my once happy life was done. Kaput.

Dick’s death spiralled my spiritual journey into an unfamiliar desert. Alone and desperate to feel anything other than grief, I needed God to help me find victory and recapture my joy. But God was already on it. He worked in the background, orchestrating my daily life according to his plan and timetable for my life on earth. The story continued to unfold as I met a widower named Jack and fell in love again. God reawakened my soul.

Jack and I were married on a glorious blue-sky summer day in June 1996. With our new blended family and a second chance at love and life, we were determined to celebrate and continually tap into God’s unending joy. Our love was deep, rich, and fulfilling as we both desired to love God first and then each other in a way that would enrich our lives and honour God.

My loving journey with Jack ended at noon on November 11, 2016. We had spent the morning watching the Remembrance Day celebrations and, as always, holding hands. We were excited and talked about the plans for our upcoming trip in six days to New York. Often we had planned to take this trip, but something always came up. We were really going this time.

Jack went into the kitchen for a second cup of coffee, dropped to the floor, and stopped breathing. While I did CPR on him, he took his last breath. Within 14 minutes the paramedics arrived and brought back a pulse. Would Jack survive?

In a matter of hours our children and grandchildren flew in from all parts of North America. They left their careers, universities—wherever they were—and came home to be in ICU around Jack’s bed. It was five days of bittersweet sorrow. We prayed for healing, but God knew this was Jack’s time to go to his heavenly father’s home, and on Tuesday, November 15, Jack was released into God’s glory. My pastor and friend, Tim Schroeder, who was at my side through the entire ordeal, said, “Heidi, you loved deeply; you will grieve deeply.”

Oh, how I wished his words weren’t true, but they were. Again. This time, how would I recapture the refreshing fruit of joy?

This book is filled with my stories and the stories of other people who overcame obstacles. But mostly, this book is about how God gifts us with everything we need to tap into his joy. The Bible says, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). As Christians, we know we have the blessed assurance of being in heaven and united with Jesus when we die. But how can we be “overcomers” and still find joy while we’re still travelling this broken, tarnished, and hurtful planet?

Through surviving the tragic deaths of both of my beloved husbands I was taught by God how to lean into all the gifts he has given me, to come to a place where I am “complete and lacking nothing” and once again filled with joy.

Now is the time to prepare. You can’t expect to withdraw a million dollars out of your bank account if there is no money in the bank. In the same way, you can’t expect to have joy if your spiritual tank is empty. Invest in God’s gifts while the time is right so that you can build a foundation of joy no matter what trials come your way.

My other books have always credited my beloved Jack as my greatest cheerleader and supporter of my writing. This is the first book without my Jack. I miss the hours sitting on our deck, overlooking the glistening turquoise and blue waters of Okanagan Lake and the rugged mountains, and talking about the thrust of each new chapter. His insights and wisdom always sent me in the right direction, and his opinions were invaluable.

This book was written seeking the guidance and wisdom of the Holy Spirit. I talk to the Holy Spirit the same way I talked to Jack. “Does this make any sense?” “Which Bible story should I use?” “Is this too personal or too abstract? Will the reader get it?” “Help me figure out the next chapter.”

I thank God that he speaks to me in different ways: through his words in the Bible, wise people, wonderful books, friends, and even quotes on Facebook. I give all glory and honour to him; without him there would be no book. Without his gifts of the Holy Spirit I would not be experiencing fresh hope, a good future, and sustainable joy.

At the end of each chapter, you will find a place to S.T.O.P. This is where you take your questions and allow the Holy Spirit, through the mind of Christ in you, to help you fulfill your life and find joy in ways you could never imagine.

S.T.O.P.

Ask God a question.

S: Scripture verse. A verse is available for reflection.

T: Thanksgiving. Thank God for what he has the power to accomplish.

O: Observation. What would you like to ask God to do in your life?

P: Prayer. Ask him. I end each chapter praying with you because I am passionate about God fulfilling your life in all aspects.

I may never have met you, but I have encountered women similar to you for the past 28 years. I am passionate about all of you becoming strong and beautiful from the inside out. Strength and beauty are not only relevant when times are good, but they prepare us for times when trouble comes. I know God can do this for you because he is the King of kings and Lord of lords, Creator of all life—including yours. It’s time to take hold of the gifts God has already given you. It’s time to be an overcomer and embrace joy.

To my beloved Jack: Because of your love, I am forever changed.

1938–2016