Читать книгу Modern Romance January Books 5-8 - Heidi Rice - Страница 16

RAFE STARED AT HER. ‘You’re a...’

‘Virgin. Yes.’ Gracie suddenly chuckled as he stumbled on the word. ‘Not...done this. Ever. Not had anyone do that before either.’ She confessed it all with a mortified smile.

But she wanted to. She wanted everything. She’d just let him do something so intimate and now she wanted him to do everything else. ‘I’m not telling you because I wanted you to stop. I’m telling you because... I thought you should know. In case it makes a difference.’

He was staring at her like she was suddenly an alien species. ‘As to whether you lose it here on the grass in a quickie?’

‘I like it on the grass,’ she confessed boldly, because now she had nothing else left to lose. ‘It’s warm and it smells nice and it feels free. And I don’t mind quick, if that’s all you can offer.’

A startled look widened his eyes and he suddenly laughed. Then he leaned closer to brush a lock of her hair back from her face. ‘How is it possible you’re still a virgin?’

She was just appallingly glad he was back in kissing range. ‘What do you mean, “How is it possible”?’

‘You’re...’ He paused, his gaze holding hers.

‘What?’

‘A natural.’

‘Is that good?’

‘Yes.’

‘So don’t stop,’ she whispered.

To her immense pleasure, he leaned closer still. But it wasn’t to touch her, it was to speak softly. ‘Why are you going to throw away something that’s obviously important to you on a guy you’ve only just met? Why would you want to do that?’

‘What makes you think it’s important to me? It’s just that I was never in the position to do this before now. This is just good timing. Finally.’

‘Wow. Lucky me,’ he said dryly. ‘Be more honest. Say the rest. If you trust me enough to tell me you want to give your virginity to me, then go all the way and tell me why.’

Trust him to challenge her, the guy wasn’t just sharp looking. She drew in a breath and braved up enough to talk. ‘I’ve been running for a long time. Like, a long time. Now I’m finally in a place I want to stay and I’m happy and what I thought I wanted all that time is no longer the same. Before I didn’t want to give it up easily. I thought I wanted it to mean something.’

‘Mean something like what?’ His expression froze. ‘True love?’

She giggled. ‘I really wish you could see the look on your face right now.’

‘Are you having me on?’

‘No, I’m actually telling you the truth, you’re just not listening to the important part. I am honest.’ She shrugged. ‘I lied about everything when I was younger and it’s not something I want to do any more. Who I was. Where I was from. What my name was.’

‘Just the little things.’ His gaze narrowed. ‘Why?’

Maybe it was the post-orgasmic high. Maybe it was the cocoon of his arms. Maybe it was because she’d already crossed so many lines, what did another matter? Maybe it was because she fully believed that the truth would set her free.

‘My parents split up when I was seven,’ she said softly. ‘They had custody issues and it got really bitter. In the end my mother kidnapped me and we spent twelve years moving every few months to escape him.’

Rafe’s jaw dropped and his arms tightened.

‘She was terrified an extraction team would get me.’ She rushed to explain it quickly. ‘So I was educated at our various homes on and off for years. For short bursts I went to actual schools. We went as far away as possible and we were never in one place for long.’

The expression in his eyes had softened. ‘You must have been terrified.’

‘All the time. My mother did what she thought was best. My father kept fighting to find me.’

‘So what happened? Did you ever see your dad? Did your mother get charged? How is it now?’

‘Complicated.’ She threw him a little smile. ‘I grew up—old enough to make my own decisions. I told Mum I wanted to go back. So I did, alone, and I convinced my father not to press charges against her.’

Rafe’s gaze narrowed. ‘He agreed to that?’

She nodded. She’d lived with him for over a year. She’d tried to fit in with his new family. She’d tried to please them all.

‘Look, it happened and I can’t go back and change it,’ she said firmly. ‘I can only move forward and make sure I get what I want now.’

‘And what’s that?’

She hesitated, afraid her talking too much was just putting him off. But he was still very close, his gaze very direct. So she caved.

‘To be secure,’ she answered. ‘I just want a home.’

‘And you’ve chosen Bellezzo?’

‘Why not?’ She shrugged. ‘It’s beautiful, it’s warm. The food is amazing and the people are nice.’

‘But you have no family here.’

‘I have friends. I’m building my career. I have permanency.’

He shook his head. ‘There’s no such thing as permanency. Certainly not in relationships.’

‘This is just you warning me again, right? Or trying to scare me off so I’ll retract my offer.’ She laughed weakly. ‘You don’t have to. I want marriage one day and I’m not going to apologise for that, but—’

‘You want to get married?’ he interrupted, looking at her like she was a lunatic. ‘Kids? After what your parents put you through?’

‘Don’t panic,’ she said softly. ‘I’m not asking you. Not kids. Not marriage. This—right here, right now—with you is an experience and it’s not one I want to deny myself.’

He didn’t reply. She saw the conflicting emotions in his eyes and felt the opportunity sliding from her. She suddenly chilled and wrapped her arms across her bare chest.

‘Don’t you think I can handle it?’ she asked in a small voice.

‘No, I don’t know that you can.’

‘But you shouldn’t get to make that choice,’ she argued fiercely. ‘I should. This is my body and I know what I can handle. You’d be surprised at what I’ve already handled.’

He gazed down at her. ‘Don’t think I underestimate you.’

‘Then don’t doubt my ability to make this decision.’

‘And it’s not a rash decision in the heat of the moment?’

‘Of course it is.’ She couldn’t help but laugh. ‘But what’s wrong with that? I’m actually feeling a moment and that’s a good thing and, no, I’m not going to regret it.’

She shifted a little beneath him, unable to resist the urge to move. He was still with her. Still touching her. She could feel the tension within him—he was so very strong, so very skilled. And she had nothing left to lose.

‘You’re a good kisser,’ she said dreamily. I think you’ll make it good for me. I deserve good when I’ve waited so long.’

He rubbed his hand across his jaw but failed to hide his smile. ‘I’m a good kisser?’

‘Really good.’ She nodded.

Despite his obvious arousal, he was still resisting. Her frustration rose.

‘It’s just lust, right? And doesn’t lust fade once you’ve done it?’ she asked. ‘Isn’t it all in the anticipation? The unknown? And once you’ve had it, you know, and so it’s less of a need. Like my most indulgent pastries. People don’t come back for seconds. They’re a treat you try just the once.’

He shook his head slowly, not lifting his gaze from hers. ‘I saw the queue in your shop today. People do come back for seconds.’

‘Okay, maybe seconds.’ She giggled. ‘But not tenths.’

‘You’re saying I’m your treat?’

‘Yes,’ she admitted. ‘Life is precious, right? It’s quick. You can lose whole chunks without realising. It should have moments of wild amazingness. Isn’t this one of those moments?’

‘Wild amazingness?’

‘And freedom.’ She nodded defiantly. ‘Yes. Why don’t you be honest about why you’re hesitating? If you don’t want to, you don’t want to. Don’t soften the blow, just say no.’ She pushed him but he didn’t move.

He ground closer and she inhaled sharply.

‘Isn’t the virgin thing every man’s fantasy?’ She grumbled her last-ditch argument.

‘You are absolutely every man’s fantasy, “virgin thing” or not. And I do want to,’ he growled back. ‘Just you. Just now.’

‘Why?’ She suddenly challenged him, her heart thudding. ‘You wanted honesty from me, I demand the same.’

He looked her in the eye. ‘You make me laugh.’

‘Really?’ She tried to wriggle away from under him. ‘I’m your jester?’

To her annoyance he actually laughed, but then rolled and held her tightly so she couldn’t escape. ‘I enjoy spending time with you. I enjoy looking at you. You feel amazing in my arms and I know I’ll love making you feel pleasure. I won’t stop until you do.’

A wave of heat rolled over her—pure anticipation.

‘That’s what I want most of all,’ he added gruffly, grinding down and making her innards quake. ‘I know I can. I already have.’ He groaned and leant close so his lips brushed hers as he spoke. ‘I can’t hold off any longer anyway.’

Her lips parted and he plundered. Sensation overwhelmed her. Relieved at his agreement and relishing what was to come, she kissed him back as passionately as she knew how. But to her dismay he suddenly tore away from her.

‘Stop playing with me,’ she muttered harshly, hurt that she’d thought he’d said yes and was now kneeling three feet away.

‘I should.’ He sent her a look. ‘But I can’t.’ He dug into his pocket with a vicious movement. ‘You hadn’t thought about this?’ He held up the square foil package. ‘We can be wild, but we’re not going to be stupid.’

She stared at it, confused.

‘I saw you from the villa and brought it with me,’ he explained, misconstruing her nonplussed look.

A split second later she realised what it actually was. ‘Were you determined or hopeful?’ she asked with a smile as she watched him shuck the rest of his clothes and tear open the condom packet.

‘Both. Same as you.’

His growl made her giggle—that and her nerves. ‘You made me answer all those questions when you had already decided?’ she asked with mock-outrage.

‘I was decided up until you dropped the V-bomb on me,’ he muttered.

She didn’t answer because now he was naked and she was speechless. He was magnificent—broad-shouldered and slim-hipped with muscles everywhere in between, and at the apex of his athletic legs?

Awestruck, she watched, stilled and silenced, as he sheathed himself.

Oh, my. Oh, my. Oh, my.

He glanced up and caught her staring with her mouth ajar. A shamelessly wicked grin curved his mouth. A split second later he pounced, tumbling her back onto the grass. She welcomed his dominance, needing his expertise and guidance. Frankly she just needed his touch. He wasn’t arguing any more. He was all action and it was exactly what she’d not known she needed until now.

He kissed her until she was breathless and writhing—it took mere moments. Her legs naturally splayed that bit further, her hips restless under his. He laughed as he kissed his way down her body. ‘You’re not getting it that quickly, Gracie. I intend to take my time with you.’

She didn’t want him to take his time—they’d wasted enough of that talking. She just wanted him. He kissed her—long and hard—and she hurtled into that hedonistic heat once more. He was so clever with his touches—hot and skilled and certain. He peeled her skirt and panties down together with torturously slow hands, baring her completely to his gaze, to his touch, to his tongue. He made good use of the access she granted him. She ran her fingers through his hair, holding him closer, savouring the sensations he sparked with every swoop and swish of his fingers... Oh, his fingers.

‘Rafe...’ She gasped as he pressed the tip of one of those wickedly skilLful fingers into her tight channel. But before she could say more, he slid his tongue across her tiny sensitive nub. Again and again as his finger slipped deeper. It was so sudden. So intense. So fantastic.

She started to shake. ‘Rafe... I’m going to—’

‘I know.’ He rose up. ‘You’re so damn hot, I can’t—’ He quit talking and kissed her. His tongue plundered her mouth, mimicking the more intimate invasion that she really craved—completely capturing her soul. He kept his hand between her legs, learning her secrets, slipping that one finger in and out, and then two fingers, and now she was so close again her muscles tightened in readiness for impending orgasm.

As she desperately moaned into his mouth, he nudged her legs that bit further apart with his and settled his hips closer. Hot, all-consuming desire fogged everything... She wanted...she didn’t know what any more... She wanted him to stop teasing, for him to get closer still. But he kept kissing her, kept touching, flicking his thumb fast and light across her sensitive, slick bud, but he kept that one part of himself she wanted most just out of her reach.

She tore her mouth from his. ‘Rafe... Rafe...’

Just as that searing tension forced her hips high, he moved his hand to hold her butt and thrust. Hard.

She cried out, shock knocking the breath from her lungs. She heard his growl—a low sound of pure masculine pleasure.

He was inside her. He was inside her and he was huge and it was so hot.

‘Oh...oh...’ Her breath shuddered as she curled up tight—her fingers into his back, her toes, locking her feminine muscles on him—every bit as hard as she could. He was really there—with her, in her—and it was intense.

His mouth hovered only an inch above hers, but he didn’t kiss her. Like her, he was suddenly still. But right where she’d wanted him most.

‘Are you okay?’ she asked almost feverishly when the silence stretched. She was desperate for him to move, for him to kiss her again, to touch her because she was still so close—

‘I think I’m supposed to ask you that.’ His smile was tight.

‘You’re not breathing.’ But, then, neither was she. She was suspended in a moment of stilled sensation and all she wanted was to tip over into the goodness she knew he had waiting for her.

‘I’m trying to stay in control.’ He smiled but his teeth were gritted.

‘What’ll happen if you don’t?’

‘This’ll be over too soon and you won’t get the experience you deserve.’ He groaned and leaned in to offer a full, carnal kiss. ‘The trouble is you feel far, far too good.’

‘Yes. I feel good. So good.’ She nodded, lifting to catch his lips. ‘Yes.’

He gave in to her request and kissed her again, taking his time to explore her thoroughly. Yes. That was what she’d wanted. Kisses. Caresses. And as he stroked, her body softened and somehow he slid deeper into her. She gasped again. But now he wasn’t still. Now he was moving—his hand cupped her breast, his thumb teased her tight nipple, his lips now nibbled at that tender, sensitive side of her neck, and his hips moved in a sure, slow rhythm—back and forth and back and forth, and her body heated, slickened, adjusting to his even more, and it was so very hot she felt incandescent with need.

He rose up, securing himself with one hand on the grass, while he swept the other along her hip and then inwards. His unerring fingers found their quarry, stroking between them, to tease where he’d teased before—right where she needed it. She breathed in sharply, catching the warm scent of crushed roses and cut grass. The blue skies and sunshine were brilliant but her vision was blinkered—she could see only him, feel only him. The best sensation of all was the one inside her.

‘It’s amazing,’ she muttered as that desperate tension coiled tightly within her again. ‘It’s amazing...’

Her breathing quickened. She couldn’t cope with the heavenly way he was touching her and kissing her and every time he rocked closer he set off all those little switches inside her. She was so turned on, so wickedly, deliciously close.

‘It’s sex,’ he teased, his muscles rippling as he exerted powerful mastery over her body. ‘It’s supposed to feel good.’

‘This good?’ She panted, gazing up at him with dazed eyes, and ran her hands up his strong forearms, locking onto him. She’d had no idea it could ever be this good. He was gorgeous and strong and she felt hot and feverish and hungry. ‘I’ve been missing out...’

‘Well, let’s make up for that now, shall we?’ He rolled his hips and pushed that bit harder and, oh, heavens, it was just enough.

‘Oh, yes.’ She arched as ecstatic delight shivered through her body.

Dimly she heard his muttered oath and he swiftly switched his grip, thrusting close and holding her tightly to him as she convulsed. Euphoria ricocheted throughout her body, twisting and tearing her to ecstatic little pieces.

Slowly the spasms ebbed and that deliciously warm sense of satisfaction spread through her limbs. Finally some semblance of sanity returned.

‘Thank you,’ she muttered softly.

His jaw clenched. He was still plunged deep inside her in that most intimate, fantastic way and it was still there—that spark that he could so easily ignite into another of those searing, mind-blowing moments. His arms were wrapped around her, holding her against him, and his gaze burned through her, watching every rise and fall of the roller coaster of emotion she was on. He looked purposeful, intense—and hungry. So damned ravenous, she shivered all over again.

‘Rafe?’

‘I don’t think I can hold back any more, Gracie,’ he warned with a low growl.

He’d been holding back? Stunned, her breath stalled—but she was also curious—how much more could he possibly have to give?

‘Don’t hold back.’ She arched to welcome him deeper. ‘I want you to enjoy this as much as I am.’

His answering laugh was more of a choke. ‘Oh, I’m enjoying it all right. It’s just that I’m about to lose it completely.’

A wave of emotion clogged her throat, because now she understood how much he’d been focused on ensuring her pleasure. That meant so much to her and she trusted him completely. But she saw the strain in his features and she wanted him with her in this—every part of him with every part of her.

Tremulously she smiled up at him. Heartfelt and true her words emerged barely audible. ‘Then lose it with me.’

He looked into her eyes and she saw the moment he snapped. A split second later he was gripping her so tightly it was almost painful and his hips bucked. He rammed deeper, faster. With a feral growl he hauled her closer and bore down even harder and heavier. His unleashed pace and intensity unveiled a whole other dimension of it to her. She cried out at the same time he did. It was so powerful that even though he’d gripped her tightly, she had to strengthen her hold on him too. With her arms and body and mouth, she clung, riding with him as he hurtled her straight back up to that stratosphere of delight and sizzling tension. Crushed petals combined with sweat and stuck to them both, filling the balmy air with a sweet-edged scent. Every one of his muscles strained as he pounded into her. Overwhelmed, she arched to meet him push for push, panting in pure ecstasy.

‘Yes,’ he gritted harshly. ‘Yes, Gracie. Yes.’

She screamed as he detonated their world. A kaleidoscope of sensation exploded—shooting them together into a tornado of elation.

It was so much better than good.