Читать книгу Windows of Opportunities - Heinrich Psscht - Страница 15

– Hans, what have you got on your screen?

– A conference, sir!

– A conference? Rubbish! How is it possible? We are in another galaxy! Moreover, in the very ass of that galaxy, a signal needs millions of years to hit that ass and be smeared over it evenly like mustard…

– They teleported the conference, sir, time-corrected of course, at the previous jump, along with all possible questions and answers to them.

– And what is the topic? Safety of flights?

– Yes, sir.

– Well, come on, let’s start with the questions… All possible ones… What should we do if the ship gets into an asteroid belt?

– Not relevant to the topic, no answer, sir.

– Just as I thought! And what should we do when a ship enters a gas nebula?

– Now, sir, let me find out… Strange, there is nothing about that either!

– What is there then?

– Classification of emergency events, the procedure for preparing the ship for emergency evacuation, the procedure for emergency shutdown of the engines, the sequence of leaving the ship…

– I see! Hans, we are in the ass of the Universe, and we are told to leave the ship in case of any malfunction! Probably, so that we, with our stupid remains lying in uncomfortable positions and emitting a cosmic stench, do not trouble the brightest minds of the Supreme Commission.

– Quite so, sir!