Читать книгу Windows of Opportunities - Heinrich Psscht - Страница 16

– Hans, we will have an intern onboard with us, a trainee. Just teleported…

– A trainee, sir?

– Yes, please welcome trainee Lisa. Anthropomorphic servitor, third class, the latest model.

– Is she a robot, sir?

Lisa (with a smile). It’s politically incorrect to call anthropomorphic servitors robots. I am a functional analogue of a team member, my efficiency ratio is 65 to 170, and my efficiency factor is 90-60-90. I am waiting for your instructions, sir!

– Not bad, not bad, Lisa, do get used to it gradually, I will soon need a report on fuel consumption for the last 4 years with corrections for space curvature and the effect of Kruger acceleration.

Lisa. – It’s already done! On your desktop, sir.

– Good, and please compare our expense with that of ships of the same class performing similar missions.

Lisa. – Added to the report, sir!

– Hans, got the drift?

(Hans is chatting with Lisa, they are laughing).

– Hans, are you alright, can you lend me your ear?

– Who, I? Yes, sir, of course we are all right. To my mind…

– Hans, according to the report, we should now have 982.4 units of fuel on board, resource 97. And what is the fuel meter reading? Hans, can you hear me?

– Oh, sir? Sorry, have you asked something?

– I did ask how much fuel we have?

– Fuel, sir?

– Fuel, Hans! F.U.E.L. How much?

– 90 to 60, I believe…

– Are you crazy?! Infatuated or something? She’s a robot, Hans! A robot!

– But, sir, it’s politically incorrect to call anthropomorphic servitors robots…

– Liza, go to the cargo hold and perform the first category maintenance there! Hans, What The Femme! Do we really need problems with an anthropomorphic broad on board?

– Sorry sir, she looks so much like my girlfriend…

– Hans, at your age, everyone looks like your girlfriend, everyone who moves… When she’s finished cleaning, I’ll send her off for an upgrade to a second-class servitor with the best recommendations. May she serve somewhere far away from here…

– Should I help her in the cargo hold, sir?

– What for? With her coefficients of utility and efficiency, you would only interfere with her! There is more important work for you!

– What work, sir?

– Recalculate the fuel report!

– Sir, so we won’t have an intern anymore?

– Nope! Unless they’ve designed a crocomorphic servitor specially for you, but I doubt it…