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Chapter 1: Communication Understanding

As of now, most, if not all, people in society are prone to destroying relationships with another person. It’s not simply a matter of personality or appearance since those aspects can be easily ignored.

The issue lies within communication. How you communicate to others and how you make them feel at the end of each conversation will determine whether people will trust you or not.

One important foundation in communication that you should never forget is listening. Listening is one of the easiest and hardest actions for anyone to do.

It’s easy because all you have to do is sit there and let the other person talk. Yet, it’s hard because you have to sit there and let the other person talk. Everybody has an egotistical self where they want their problems to be heard.

They want to talk about themselves when they’re happy, or when they’re sad. The difference is to what extent. There are some who will control their urges and choose to listen while there are some who will simply talk without care for the other party.

In order to break the communication barrier between you and the other party, you need to control your urges and let the other party talk. If they want to hear your side of the story then they will stop and let you talk.

It’s true that communication is a two-plus people factor. However, people will enjoy speaking with you if you show that you’re a great listener. Even in the case where you started the conversation, you do not need to do most of the talking.

Only talk when it is necessary to keep the flow of the conversation going. The rest will be up to your partner. Basically, communication is the only job where you won’t have to work hard to be liked.

You should also take into consideration that words are powerful. If you cannot communicate your thoughts properly to the people around you then there will be miscommunications.

By miscommunicating, you run the risk of hurting the other person, or offending them even if you don’t have any intentions to do so. By being the listener, you give yourself time to listen to what the other person have to say.

You have the opportunity to take in their words and see what type of person they are. It’s easier to communicate with someone when you already have some background information about his or her personality. By listening, you obtain that information easily.

Nice is not Permanent

It’s been taught to you many times that being nice can get you somewhere in the world. Granted, it does, but it doesn’t get you everywhere you want to be.

Truth is, people will have an easier time remembering someone who has treated them poorly than someone who has treated them with utmost kindness. That must suck to hear doesn’t it?

It’s basically a stab to your efforts when the person that you were nice to remembers someone that treated them cruelly. The reason why is because emotions are stronger when hate is tossed into the factor.

People will like you if you do something nice for them, and they’ll keep remembering you until they don’t have any favors to ask you for. Yet one mishap, or one mistake from you is enough for them to turn the other direction.

The point is that being nice isn’t going to get you everywhere. There’s a time where you’re going to have to say no. People will only like you for the time that you are nice.

They’re not going to like you forever unless if you’re friends with them. However, people are going to like you for a long time depending on how you make them feel. People will remember the great conversation that they had with you for a long time, but they will only temporarily remember your kindness for a short while.

Do you get where this is going? It’s all about communication and conversation. People will feel happy if they had a great conversation with you. However, people will feel angry, or disappointed if they had a poor conversation with you.

If that happens, then you’ve obviously just wasted their time and they’ll have a bad impression of you. Kind of weird how the process works doesn’t it?

We don’t know what other people are thinking so the only way to gain access to that information is through communication. If we don’t use our words properly, we won’t be able to convey our thoughts to the other party. In turn, they won’t be able to convey their thoughts to us.

Benefits of Communication

There are many benefits that you can gain through communication. Humans are social creatures. Therefore, we rely on the help of others in order to help ourselves.

Through communication, we can attract trust worthy people to our side that are willing to help us. Rather than having to pick and choose whom you want around you. It is easier to have a flock of people that are willing to help you succeed.

Of course, that means that you’re going to have to meet all sorts of people. People of different personalities will surround you, as they will become the expansion of your list of contacts in the future.

In order to do that, you need to gain their favor and their attention. You must make yourself presentable and let them know that you exist. Make them remember you by your name and not your face.

Do not worry about what people will think of you when you are communicating with them. If you show concern for something as trivial as that, people will be able to notice your nervousness.

Be proud and confident. That is all you really need to attract someone. Your words are only second to people’s impression of you.

Commit Yourself

In the next chapters until the end of the book, you will have to commit yourself to wanting to learn more about communication. It will be a waste of time for you to read through this whole book and not apply any of it.

What’s the point of trying to improve your communication skills if you’re not going to physically do it after gaining the proper knowledge?

You have to take the initiative to want to communicate with others, which means your introverted ways must go.

Toss it out the window and burry it somewhere every time you’re out in public. You can act like an introvert all you want when you’re at home, but you’re an extrovert the moment you step out of your house. So learn, and use what you’ve learned because it’s going to take practice to master.