Читать книгу Caressless - Heru Psy.D. EL - Страница 3

It was a cold and windy a typical Thursday afternoon in Chicago three weeks before Christmas. The noon sun managed to bring the temperature to a mere 17 degrees up from 9 degrees this morning “The City with Broad Shoulders” was just getting over the sudden death of its beloved Mayor Harold Washington the month prior. The city’s first African American Mayor in its long and storied history. He was highly intelligent as well as articulate. I remember attending one his news conferences and each time he would use one of his million dollar words the press would thumb thru their dictionary’s to find its meaning. The beautiful skyline and classical architectural buildings surround my 19^th floor office. It’s amazing how this section of downtown Chicago looks exactly like New York’s downtown with its stone skyscrapers and bold Masonic symbols carved into its facades.

The bright sun filtered through my blinds as I sat in my comfortable leather bound recliner counting my blessings. Gazing across my office at the designer paintings and plaques of scholastic achievements floating on the wall, I have an attractive secretary fielding my appointments and calls, a newly purchased condo with a view to beautiful Lake Michigan. I often wonder to myself, where would I be today if I had gone thru some of the experiences of my patients. My 2 pm appointment was in waiting, her name was Sandra Sheridan it was our third session and she finally began to open up in our last session. She was one of the first of new and different clients I am seeing since I signed a new contract with the Cook County Department of Domestic Abuse. Sandra was an attractive 29 year old Black woman with the large troubling eyes, a hard to ignore bust line that she was proud to display and when she got up to get a drink of water from the cooler I couldn’t help but to see a smooth pear shaped ass pressed against her tight skirt, not too much makeup but her perm needed a touch up, nice Gucci handbag and small piece of ice in her small earlobes. You see Sandra had a penchant for slicing her boyfriends with switchblades. Her first assault was a stab wound to the arm, the next a stab wound in the leg and the latest one needed 24 stitches to mend his penis, she was charged with assault for this last one, it was a little hard for the Chicago Police District commander to explain that injury to his Desk Sergeant wife. Its time to see what’s causing the glitch in her program.

“Lisa I’m ready for Ms Sheridan.” Sandra walked in and for the first time she smiled “good afternoon Dr. Howard” “Hello Sandra, how are you today?” She was looking much better today she went to the hairdresser and she has on a nice tan wool v-neck sweater and some dark brown tight ass jeans with some calf high tan leather boots looks like she spent a little time putting on her makeup her large brown eyes seem to stand out more along with her dark red lipstick. “Relax Ms. Sheridan you can hang your jacket up or lay it acrossthe chair.”

“Well Ms Sheridan do you remember were we left off last session?”

Her voice was light and a little squeaky as she began to speak. She cleared her throat a few times. “Well I was in 5^th grade at McKinley Elementary I can remember that day very clearly I got A’s and B’s on my report card I came home early from school that day due to some kind of half day schedule but I forgot to tell my Aunt Delia, as I walked up the stairs I could hear the music on the stereo was rather loud it was a James Brown song “The Big Payback” that’s amazing I could remember that so well. I grabbed the door key from around my neck and could feel the thundering bass from the stereo pounding the floor as I was turning the key I could hear my Aunt saying “ shoot that sugar on me big daddy” “shoot that sugar on me big daddy” puzzled as to what this term meant as I opened the door I see Earl who was renting one of the my Aunt’s spare rooms, standing up over my Aunt with his pants down to his ankles and his fat blubber ass facing me and I saw my Aunt with all of this white creamy liquid all over her face and it was squirting out his dick. Her big white bra had one of her big titties hanging out, and Earl was squeezing it with his right hand. I just stood there frozen in my tracks and my heart started beating really fast, not knowing what to do, go to my room or run back down the stairs, I just stood there frozen at the door. My Aunt Delia seemed to like this sugar, she was licking it off her lips with a soothing smile on her face, and Earl had his head back gazing toward the ceiling emitting this low moan and my Aunt eyes where closed with this sugar all over eyes. I never imagined I would see anything so nasty. That was my queue to tip toe to my room without being noticed. I got in my room and began to breath heavy like I was out of breath I didn’t know what to do, should I tell her what I saw or should I keep it a secret. I might get in trouble if I told her so I decided to keep it a secret. I looked down at my black paten leather shoes with a single strap into my buckle contrasting my favorites red socks. My blue and red trim book bag seemed so heavy at that moment I slide it off my narrow back gently on the edge of my bed, I laid across my bed thinking about all the nasty stuff the boys would talk about at school I didn’t know I would see it for real as I escaped into sleep. Next thing I felt was my Aunt Delia standing over me nudging me to wake up with a barrage of questions.

“Sandra girl you bes take them shoes off! girl what’s on yo mind? And when did you get home? I didn’t see you come in and why did you leave that front door open?.” “We got out of school early today Auntie, I forgot to tell you.”

She looked at me and turn her head to the side, her large hoop earrings dangled against her cheek yet her eyes were piercing right thru me and asked “what time did you get here? I stuttered a little and said I really can’t remember. She looked at me with a squinting glare as she slightly turned her head and uttered “uummmhuh! “we’ll talk later.” “You know today is wash day and when your done washing start that homework “Yes Maim” I got my clothes together and walked out of the room toward the washer and dryer in the kitchen hoping I didn’t see Earl, my Aunt yelled from the back “do the white clothes first don’t mess up my whites Sandra” I grabbed a hand full of white clothes she had put in a pile by the washer and felt something sticky on my right palm. It was from my Aunts big white bra she had on when Earl was squirting all over it with his “white sugar.” I blurted out eeuugghh!! and wiped my hands on one of the towels. Just at that moment Earl came out of his room. I thought to myself I hope he didn’t see me at the door. “Hey pretty Sand” he would call me, he would always say “boy if I was building a sand castle I would use nothing but pretty Sand.” Then he bent down and whispered in my ear so my Aunt wouldn’t hear “girl yo booty is getting big you betta leave them donuts alone” his breath stunk from that whiskey he keeps in his room and I didn’t like what he said to me. He pulled out this old lookin brown leather wallet and gave me $5 dollar bill and said don’t tell your Aunt she’ll just take it from you as he pressed it into my palm, I whispered “thanks” I guess he was on his way to the club dressed in his brown shinny suit with his gold shirt folded over his coat collar with black paten leather shoes with gold inserts and his shirt unbuttoned with his gold chain with a big letter E hanging at the end, a gold ring with a big diamond shaped in the letter E on his pinkie finger was hard not to notice. “Sandra can you describe Earl to me a little more?” “Well he was about 5’-10 kinda heavy maybe about 250 lbs light skinned and he had his hair processed and combed to the side with a gold front tooth. Earl was nice to me in the beginning but that would change.” As Sandra was telling me her story I noticed she would look me directly in my eyes when she was face to face with her characters in her story but gazed off thru the window facing Lake Michigan as she set the scene. Just then the secretary buzzed my phone and told me my 3pm was ready. “Well Sandra I like the way you opened up this session I look forward to making some more progress next Wednesday.” Dr. Howard I wish I had more time because this feels good to release some of this weight that I have had to carry all these years.” “You are doing well just be patient and it will flow out easy” “Thank you Dr. Howard see you next week.” My next client was a very handsome man who was a 34 year old virgin as he was telling me his story I realized his biggest fear was what if I don’t perform good in sex. He was not gay but said that his fear seemed to stem from the fact that his 4 older sisters and Mother would tell him these negative stories about the men they would have in bed. He would hear comments like “he couldn’t last but 5 minutes” or “Girl he came too fast” “ His dick was too short” “ He don’t know how to lick my pussy right” or “He can’t fuck”

He said that he has allowed this fear to keep him from the bedrooms of many gorgeous women who have now spread rumors that he must be gay if he won’t engage them in sex.

I must help this Brother because “A hard dick is a terrible thing to waste” in my book I’m sure I would get an Amen from the sisters out there. Another day, another story a lifetime of chain reactions I say to myself as I press the garage button on the elevator. Heading to my black Toyota Camry thinking I guess since I’m in the big bucks now maybe I should get that Mercedes now, I don’t have any more college loans or wife and children, why not? As I drove out of my office garage at 5:15 ready to deal with the heart of rush hour traffic I can’t help but wonder as I see the hundreds of people moving to and fro down Michigan Ave, as I gaze into their faces I wonder how many stories are you hiding behind those stoic looks and suppressed smiles? Maybe I’ll see some of you soon, or could some Doctor be saying the same about me? Time will tell. I make it to my apartment on Marine Drive on the North side of Chicago as I approach the elevator I notice one of the new tenets that just moved in on the same floor I helped her with a heavy box last Saturday but I can’t remember her name to save my life, as fine as she is I don’t see how I could have forgotten. “Hi how is the new apartment coming along?” as she turned around I could see the lovely shape of her lips and gorgeous eyes I’m always a sucker for the eyes, “hello Dr. Howard” she said with a cute little, smile damn she remembered my name “I want to thank you again for helping me with that box I don’t know how I got it that far, my girlfriends abandoned me when it came to that heavy box they weren’t going to break all of their nails that day.” “Oh you’re welcome I have been known to have flashes of chivalry at times.” “I can tell your mother did a good job you’ve got gentleman written all over you. I bet you can tell me where the best seafood restaurants are around here.” “I sure can its Nicks right at Clark and Howard Ave.” “I think I might check that place out, I’ve been longing for some good Lobster.” “I don’t think you will be disappointed. (I thought to myself that could be my queue to ask her out for dinner? The elevator opened and like my Father always told me the reason why men let woman walk in first is so you can check that ass out. She turned around and glanced up at me” I bet a lot of people tell you look like Eddie Murphy don’t they?” “I get that a lot lately.” “Only your taller and got muscles, Dr Howard why is the number 13 missing on the elevator key pad?” “Well I’ve been told that some construction crews were superstitious so they would never build a thirteenth floor to avoid unlucky accidents.” “So Dr. Howard us being on this elevator together is no accident”, she turned toward me and winked. “I responded maybe I planned it that way what do you think? DING! Oh I guess this is our floor 14.”” Since I’m the only gentleman here I will allow you to exit first we both chuckled as we walked down the hall way I’m thinking to my self as she walked slightly ahead of me puttin on a show with them sexy hips and rhythmical walk those nice leather boots she was wearing were making light little thumps as she glided down the hallway Howard I said to myself you need to make a decision real quick because she is too close for a playa like you, just say good evening and don’t add another link in the chain of dick to pussy. “Well goodnight you have a restful evening” “goodnight Dr. Howard maybe while your taking your shower you can remember my name” she laughed out as she closed her door not giving me a chance to ask her. She got me good. Oh boy you know if I start bangin that, she will definitely be drama that’s just too close for comfort. One of my rules has always been, never where you live or where you work. But got-damn! She fine! Whatever her name is, damn what is her name?? I remember her girlfriend called her Ray but that’s got to be a nick name because she told me something else, an unusual name. What the hell I got to get to my chill zone I threw my keys on the counter next to the unopened mail and the usual Chinese restaurant flyers, Lincoln insurance ads. It felt so good slipping my one month old black Farragamos off my feet, nice shoes but they need a little more wear to be an all day shoe. I quickly undressed and threw my pants across my neatly made up bed, my mother would be proud to know one of her teachings stuck. As the warm and steamy water from the shower covered my body I thought about Sandra and the millions of young girls whose young experiences make up today’s woman we see weave in and out of our lives for some reason she seemed like she had a ton of stories behind those big brown eyes. This was one I looked forward to the next session almost like a sequel to a mystery story. I need to get to bed early tonight, tomorrow is a busy day.