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Discovering and eating

within your Nutritional Style lets you enjoy delicious, nourishing foods and drinks that will support you for the rest of your life.

CHAPTER THREE

Dangerous Liaisons

Some foods just aren’t good for anyone, including you. I call them the Dangerous Liaisons, because they only mean trouble. They’re toxic and potentially dangerous for your health, and I want you to avoid them wherever and however possible. I’m giving this to you straight and upfront because I want you to begin this process of getting real about your food and its effect on your body. The sooner you get that and cut these nasty boys off, the better.

Like any dangerous liaisons, some are worse than others. Some are the liaisons I call the Bad Boys: Think of Johnny Depp as the greaser gang leader in the movie Cry-Baby, or Jim Stark, played by real-life bad boy James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause, or even the dangerously sexy vampire Edward Cullen in the Twilight series. These guys may look enticing, but you’ve learned the heartache isn’t worth it. It’s best to stay away.

Well, it’s the same with certain foods. You know they’re bad for you and that if you indulge your happiness will be short-lived, but you succumb anyway. Once in a while you enjoy the sensations—the satisfaction of knowing it feels so good to be bad. It’s so delicious in the moment, who cares that the next day you’ll regret it? You know in your heart that a steady diet of this would make you sick and exhausted. Still, these Bad Boys wear you out, but they don’t kill you.

Then there are the really bad guys. I call these dangerous liaisons the Serial Killers: the good-looking blind date your roommate said was antisocial and weird, or the one who hates his mother and lives in a crummy apartment with blackened windows. You’d be an idiot to date him; you know the type and you know to stay away. You’re not that desperate for company, and you’re not that hungry.

The tricky part is that one woman’s Bad Boy could be another woman’s Serial Killer. How to know? If you experience severe symptoms of food intolerance after a dangerous liaison, you’ve found yourself a killer. (I’ll say much more about those guys later.) For now, move away from these characters. Just walk calmly in the other direction and pretend you never saw them. That’s right, just keep walking.

The Bad Boys

For most of us, the Bad Boys are OK in small doses—meeting for coffee, maybe, but not dinner and a movie, and most definitely not the night. The Bad Boys tend to be gluten, dairy, processed soy foods, sugar, and, for some, caffeine.

Gluten

Gluten is a kind of protein found in the grains wheat, barley, and rye. That means gluten is found in any food made with wheat flour, including bread, cereal, pasta, baked goods, beer, and many more foods (see the chart on page 36). This Bad Boy can undermine your looks and overall health. If you turn out to be highly intolerant, eliminating gluten can change your life and rock your world.

Gluten messes with your ability to absorb nutrition in your small intestine. It can cause an immune response that damages the inner lining of the small intestine and leads to an inability to absorb nutrients well.

ISABELLE AND THOMAS Changing a Young Life

A few years ago, Isabelle came to me to talk about her son, Thomas. At the age of five, Thomas had a lot of allergies, a constant runny nose, and frequent illness. Isabelle had taken her son to many doctors, who had put him through numerous tests and treatments, but nothing seemed to help. Her mother’s intuition told Isabelle that something in Thomas’s diet was the real problem, but none of the doctors were interested in following up on his nutrition.

When we talked about the family history, I learned that his grandmother had celiac disease. In fact, because celiac is often passed on genetically, Thomas had been tested for it—with negative results. As I explained to Isabelle, the test ruled out celiac disease, but it didn’t rule out gluten intolerance. Isabelle agreed when I suggested removing gluten from Thomas’s diet for a couple of weeks, just to see if it helped relieve his symptoms.

It’s not easy to take away bread, pasta, breakfast cereal, and cookies from a five-year-old. Isabelle and I took a trip together to a nearby well-stocked health food store. We were able to find gluten-free substitutes for pretty much everything Thomas liked to eat.

I wasn’t sure if Isabelle could stick with the program—Thomas was definitely strong-willed about his favorite foods. Within just a week, Thomas was so much better that Isabelle decided to extend the trial for a month. At the end of that time, Thomas was a different boy. He no longer fought chronic colds and viruses. The chronic mucus and coughs were gone. Today, he’s growing tall and thriving.

Isabelle noticed that because she was sharing the foods Thomas ate, she was feeling better too! She converted her entire home to a gluten-free zone and has even gone on to persuade the local pizzeria to offer gluten-free pies.

People who have celiac disease, an autoimmune condition, can’t eat gluten at all. It can make them extremely ill, usually with diarrhea and abdominal pain. Celiac disease is the most severe form of gluten intolerance. It’s usually diagnosed in childhood; the only treatment is lifelong avoidance of gluten-containing foods.

True celiac disease is rare, but an intolerance for gluten, ranging from mild to severe, isn’t. The symptoms of gluten intolerance include diarrhea, bloating, gas, a sense of fullness, stomachache, and abdominal pain. Not all symptoms of gluten intolerance are in your digestive system, however. You might feel brain fog after eating a big bowl of pasta, or you might be irritable or depressed (too much time with Bad Boys can do that to you). A scaly, itchy skin rash known as dermatitis herpetiformis is another common sign.

Gluten intolerance used to be considered rare, but more and more research is showing that it’s a lot more common than we once thought. You could have a lot of expensive blood tests to check for gluten intolerance, but there’s a much simpler approach: Cut gluten out of your diet for a couple of weeks and see what happens. If you’re like some of my clients, you’ll be amazed at how much better you feel in just a few days. Gone are the annoying, embarrassing digestive problems that sent you scurrying out of the room.

Avoiding gluten is hard because it’s everywhere. Your morning toast and cereal, your lunchtime sandwich, your doughnut or crackers in the break room, your pasta at dinner, the croutons in your salad, the cookies for dessert—they all contain gluten. In addition, gluten is often added to foods and even medications. (The chart on page 36 shows some of the surprising ways gluten can find its way into you.) So, even if you have just a mild intolerance, you could still be getting so much gluten all day long that it’s seriously affecting you.

Because so many people have found that they have some degree of gluten intolerance, a whole industry of gluten-free foods has sprung up. This is a good thing—people with gluten intolerance deserve sandwiches and dessert, too—but be cautious. Sugar is a Bad Boy, and in gluten-free foods, sugar fills in for the wheat. It’s like ditching the Bad Boy biker to take up with the Bad Boy meth dealer.

If you’re highly intolerant, giving up gluten can change your life. You might discover that the symptoms you thought were yours to live with forever can go away just through changing your eating habits. It’s not that hard.

SYMPTOMS OF GLUTEN INTOLERANCE

The symptoms of gluten intolerance can vary quite a bit, which is why it is often misdiagnosed or even ignored. The symptoms can range from diarrhea and abdominal pain to irritability to infertility.

Common Symptoms

Abdominal bloating and pain

Constipation

Diarrhea

Gas

Pale, foul-smelling, or fatty stool

Vomiting

Weight loss

Less Common Symptoms

Arthritis

Bone or joint pain

Bone loss or osteoporosis

Canker sores inside the mouth

Depression or anxiety

Fatigue

Infertility or recurrent miscarriage

Irregular menstrual periods

Irritability

Iron-deficiency anemia

Itchy skin rash (dermatitis herpetiformis)

Seizures

Tingling or numbness in the hands and feet (neuropathy)

Gluten-free grains and seeds, such as oats, quinoa, corn, brown rice, and millet, taste great and are just as nutritious, if not more so, than wheat, barley, and rye. Food manufacturers are producing better-tasting gluten-free breads, crackers, baked goods, and other foods all the time. A word of caution here: The term “gluten-free” does not necessarily mean healthy; it just means no gluten. Processed foods of any kind are Bad Boys, with or without gluten.

Avoiding gluten is a bit of a challenge. If you’re only slightly sensitive, you can probably tolerate the small amounts that turn up in apparently innocent items such as ketchup and canned soup. The more intolerant you are, the more vigilant you need to be about reading food labels and questioning waiters. You’ll also want to separate your appliances, cutlery, and kitchen equipment, so you don’t inadvertently contaminate gluten-free items with those that contain gluten, even in small traces.

FIND THE HIDDEN GLUTEN

If you’re gluten intolerant, you already know to avoid wheat, barley, and rye. Oats and oat flour don’t contain gluten—in fact, oats are a common substitute in gluten-free baked goods. However, because oats often are processed using equipment that also handles other grains, buy only organic brands that state certified gluten-free on the label. In addition, some people with celiac disease or gluten sensitivity also react to oats—if you have gluten symptoms after eating oats, you might be one of them.

Gluten is also found in some nutritional supplements (vitamins, minerals, herbs, etc.) and in some prescription and nonprescription drugs. It’s even in some lip balms and lipsticks!

Wheat by Other Names

Bran

Bulgur

Farina

Farro

Graham flour

Kamut

Semolina

Spelt

Triticale

Wheat germ

Dairy Products

Ice cream

Frozen dairy products (e.g., frozen yogurt)

Cheese spreads

Fruit-added yogurt (plain yogurt is usually safe)

Processed Foods

Candy bars

Chocolate

Energy bars

Hot chocolate mixes

Hot dogs

Hydrolyzed vegetable protein (read the label)

Luncheon meats

Peanut butter

Sausages

Soup: canned, mixes, bouillon cubes

Condiments

Breading and coating mixes

Drink mixes

Gravy and sauce mixes

Ketchup

Marinade mixes

Mustard

Nondairy creamers

Salad dressings

Soy sauce

Dairy

Dairy is the perfect Bad Boy. Delicious and highly addictive, you wish you could have it every darn day, all day, but the truth is you’d end up fat, pasty, and inflamed. I apologize in advance to all the beautiful dairy cows I’ve met in my lifetime—and I live in a rural area, so I’ve met a lot of them. I admire your production capabilities, dear cows, but giving you up has changed my life, and my son’s life, forever.

In fact, the perils of milk-based foods are the main reason I wrote this book. Once I realized that many of my health problems, and those of my son, were based on eating dairy foods, our lives changed for the better. Eliminating dairy from our diets made a huge difference in our health.

Why? First of all, many people who eat dairy foods find that they stimulate mucus production. Your doctor will say that’s a myth. It’s true that not everyone who drinks milk or enjoys yogurt, cheese, or ice cream will produce more mucus, but many people have noted a distinct connection between these foods, their endless runny nose, and their allergy and sinus symptoms. The reason is the casein in milk. It turns out that a lot of people are allergic to this protein, and the allergy often shows up as increased mucus production. It can also show up as skin rashes, eczema, hives, diarrhea, cramping, bloating, and gas. Whenever a client comes to me about her mysterious rashes, we cut dairy, especially cheese, out of the diet for a couple of weeks. The rashes almost always clear up and stay away as long as casein stays out of the diet.

HAILEY A Problem with Gluten

Cutting out the gluten can really help your appearance. My client Hailey came to me with constant bloating and belly fat she just couldn’t lose. She was otherwise trim, and at age 33, she felt it was too early to have that midriff stuff going on! I assured her that nobody needs that at any age, and we got to work. Hailey told me her mom had carried the same type of belly fat her entire adult life and had also had endless, undiagnosed digestive issues. Hailey herself had periodic flare-ups of digestive problems, especially loose bowels after meals. The problem came and went, but Hailey would just vaguely attribute it to something she ate and never tried to pin down exactly what that was. She still had good energy and was able to do her design job well, so she never thought to visit the doctor or explore the source of this uncomfortable condition.

For many of us, it’s only when food intolerances begin to affect our outward appearance that we make that move to investigate further. With Hailey, a looming trip to Hawaii with her boyfriend made her decide to schedule an appointment with me. There’s nothing like the prospect of being seen in a bikini to get your butt in gear! Tracking down the source of Hailey’s digestive upsets and stubborn belly fat was relatively painless. We started with gluten, the most likely of her favorite Bad Boys. Hailey was very motivated to try going gluten-free for a couple of weeks. She started to lose the bloat within a week, showing that gluten truly was her problem.

Because casein is digested fairly slowly, you may not make the connection between your snack of milk and cookies at 2:00 p.m. and waking up feeling horribly congested the next morning. But if you’ve got sinus trouble that just won’t go away, or if your kid always has a chesty cough, try cutting this Bad Boy out of the diet for just a week. You’ll probably notice a big difference. And something to think about: casein from milk is the stuff used in glue—it’s why Elsie the Cow is on the Elmer’s glue bottle.

And something to think about: casein from milk is the stuff used in glue—it’s why Elsie the Cow is on the Elmer’s glue bottle.

Another reason dairy is such a Bad Boy is that while that sweet, creamy ice cream tastes great going down, it’s another story once it hits your digestive system. A surprisingly large number of adults are actually lactose intolerant. They no longer produce lactase, the enzyme you need to break down and digest lactose, the sugar in milk. Most adults who can still produce lactase are of northern European ethnic heritage. The rest of us, which means the majority of people in the United States, usually lose the ability to make the enzyme sometime in late childhood or even sooner.

WENDY Dairy Deletion

My client Wendy came to me because she had chronic mucus and frequent colds, and she was constantly visiting her doctor. Her allergy tests didn’t reveal anything that made a difference. As usual, none of her doctors asked her about her diet.

I had a suspicion that dairy was the cause—it often is when mucus is an ongoing problem. Armed with recipe ideas that would please her and her family, Wendy and I went shopping for dairy-free alternatives. We replaced the milk in her morning coffee with almond milk; we found alternative snacks for string cheese and yogurt. It was fairly easy to just swap out recipes with dairy for those without. The hard part was the ice cream. Wendy was very resistant to giving up her favorite treat, but I persuaded her to try sorbets and granitas instead. Within a week, the mucus subsided, and she felt so good that she called me crying with happiness. Today Wendy remains symptom-free as long as she skips the dairy—plus she looks ten years younger.

If you can’t digest lactose, you know it: You quickly get gas, bloating, abdominal pain, and sometimes diarrhea. Unfortunately, milk, ice cream, yogurt, and other lactose-containing foods are very popular. They’re also heavily marketed (got milk?) and are actually mandated as part of school lunches. By pushing milk and dairy products on our kids, we’re doing a lot more harm than good. How many kids complain of stomachaches on school days, only to be told they’re worried about that spelling test when it’s really the milk they’re drinking? Humans are the only mammals that continue to drink milk after they’re weaned; they’re also the only mammals that drink the milk of another species. Milk is for baby calves, not people.

Another big problem with dairy is that it’s addictive. We all scream for ice cream; we love cheese on everything. A dairy-free life seems dull and flavorless.

CALCIUM SOURCES

The RDA for calcium is 1,000 milligrams a day for adults up to age fifty; after that, the amount goes up to 1,200 mg a day. Dairy foods are high in calcium, but as you can see from the chart, you still have plenty of other good ways to get calcium from your food. Nuts, beans, and those dark leafy greens are great sources.

Food	Amount	Calcium (mg)
Almonds	1 ounce	80
Black beans	1 cup	47
Broccoli, cooked	1/2 cup	36
Cabbage, cooked	1/2 cup	25
Chick peas	1 cup	78
Collard greens, cooked	1/2 cup	15
Kale, cooked	1/2 cup	47
Kidney beans	1 cup	50
Milk	8 ounces	300
Navy beans	1 cup	128
Okra	1/2 cup	50
Spinach, cooked	1/2 cup	122
Sweet potato, baked	1 medium	32
Swiss chard, cooked	1/2 cup	51
Tofu	1/2 cup	130
Turnip greens, cooked	1/2 cup	99
Yogurt	8 ounces	415

But dairy is one of the first things I look for when a client tells me she can’t lose those last ten or fifteen pounds. She’s often eating cheese or some kind of dairy on a daily basis, and it shows. Cheese is her snack of choice before dinner, or she needs to add a splash of milk to drink her morning coffee. Been there, done that.

If you’re sensitive, eating dairy can show up on your beautiful face. I’ve learned to recognize excessive or even daily dairy consumption as an overall puffy appearance in some people. I’ve seen clients who gave up dairy develop a gorgeous set of cheekbones and that toned look to their face that they always coveted, but never knew they could have. Remember, you are what you eat, and who wants to look like cheese?

For those of you who crave and need the dairy fix, there is relief. Most people with lactose intolerance can handle small amounts of dairy every now and then, especially if you have it as part of a larger meal. So yes, you can splurge on a small scoop of ice cream at your birthday dinner. You may find that dairy products with less lactose, such as yogurt and hard cheese, are OK in small amounts. Soft goat cheese and sheep cheese have a fat structure somewhat different from cow cheeses, so you may find them more digestible. You can also try lactose-free and reduced lactose milk and dairy products—these products have the lactase enzyme added to them. Milk alternatives, such as almond milk, coconut milk, and hemp milk, are good alternatives to regular milk. Over-the-counter lactase enzyme drops or tablets help some people.

None of the above will help much if casein sensitivity is the issue. You’re probably better off just swearing off the dairy, especially cheese. Every type of cheese has casein in it.

If you do drink milk or eat any dairy products, including cheese, yogurt, and butter, make sure it’s organic. Factory-style large-scale dairy farms give cows growth hormones and antibiotics. Hormone additives seeping into dairy products have been linked to early puberty and sexual development in children who consume them. Antibiotic resistance in patients suffering from bacterial infections is a side effect linked to consuming products from cows treated with broad-spectrum antibiotics.

The calcium connection

You’re probably wondering how you’re supposed to get your calcium if you don’t eat dairy products. Don’t you need plenty of milk now to avoid thinning bones later in life? And what about your kids? Don’t they need lots of milk for their growing bodies?

I get asked these questions all the time. The idea that drinking cow’s milk is the best way to get the calcium you need for strong bones and for growing kids is myth. All around the world, most people can’t digest milk and don’t eat a lot of dairy products, yet the kids are healthy and the women have good bone health. In fact, a lot of scientific studies show an inverse relation between calcium and osteoporosis: Women in the countries that consume the most dairy have the highest osteoporosis rates. Despite how much milk we drink, American women over age 50 have one of the highest levels of hip fractures (an indicator of osteoporosis) in the world. The rate is exceeded only by Australia and New Zealand, where dairy consumption is even higher than in the United States.

Despite how much milk we drink, American women over age 50 have one of the highest levels of hip fractures, an indicator of osteoporosis, in the world.

It’s possible that a diet high in protein from dairy foods offsets the calcium in them by causing an acid imbalance in the body. To neutralize the acidity, your body uses the calcium that normally circulates in your bloodstream; if that runs low, it pulls some from your bones. When you need a lot of calcium to counter acidity, you have less left for keeping your bones strong.

Bone strength comes from much more than just calcium, however. You also need to keep physically active, get enough vitamin D, and avoid alcohol and tobacco.

But back to dietary calcium. Lots of plant foods are rich in calcium, including beans and all those green leafy vegetables, like kale, spinach, and broccoli. Nuts, especially almonds, are another good source.

People who need to avoid dairy often ask me about taking calcium supplements. It’s always better to get your nutrition from food, not pills, and some recent studies have linked calcium supplements to a sharply increased risk of heart disease in women. Better to fortify your bones with absorbable calcium from plant sources, so load up on kale and other dark, leafy greens every day. If you feel you still need a supplement, look for one made from plant sources such as kale and algae.

Soy

Although this Bad Boy is one of the most highly recommended foods for women, soy is another common offender when it comes to food intolerance—and despite the recommendations, it might not be good for women.

If you’re soy intolerant, you don’t produce the enzymes your body needs to break down the proteins in soy. That leads to symptoms such as cramping, abdominal pain, bloating, nausea, and diarrhea. A sure sign of soy intolerance is heartburn after eating soy foods. A lot of people are allergic to soy, although it usually takes a large amount to trigger a reaction. If you’re allergic to soy and drink a big glass of soy milk, for instance, you might get hives, an itchy skin rash, or abdominal pain along with nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea. A small amount of soy sauce, however, probably wouldn’t kick off a reaction.

Soy is often touted as a healthy plant protein that’s a good substitute for meat or dairy foods. Today, soy is one of the largest agricultural crops in the United States. Unfortunately, most of the soy grown here is also genetically modified and highly subsidized. So, we now have a lot of cheap, genetically modified soy in our food supply. Soy is used in thousands of processed foods, often in hidden ways you’d never suspect. Unless you read the label very carefully, for example, you’d never know that soy is an important ingredient in a lot of energy bars, breakfast bars, and “nutrition” bars.

Soy is also the darling of many people who are eating a vegan or vegetarian diet or who want to avoid the cholesterol and saturated fat in meat. They buy soy products in place of animal protein. But are tofu (bean curd) hot dogs, sausages, burgers, and cheese really any better for you than their animal counterparts? Maybe not. Even if these products are made with 100 percent organic soybeans, the ingredients label sometimes shows that they’re heavily processed and loaded with additives. Read your labels and buy products that contain only organic ingredients that you recognize.

There’s a bigger problem than just the chemicals and taste of processed soy foods.

Soy contains phytoestrogens, meaning plant-based substances very similar to estrogen, the female hormone. So, if you eat a lot of soy foods, you’re also getting a lot of phytoestrogens—and that may not be good for you. If you’re a breast cancer patient whose tumor was estrogen sensitive, the last thing you would want to do is add something that mimics estrogen to your diet. If you’re in perimenopause or menopause, soy phytoestrogens in the form of soy isoflavones are sometimes recommended as a natural treatment for hot flashes and other symptoms caused by your body’s own diminishing supply of estrogen. These substances have the same problem as hormone-replacement therapy, however: a potential increase in your risk of breast cancer. Also, dietary soy has been linked to thyroid problems.

Needless to say, as a health coach I don’t like to recommend something that could harm my clients. I suggest that all my female patients of any age eat soy foods only in moderation. If they have a history of thyroid problems, estrogen-sensitive breast cancer, or any other female cancer, I suggest actively avoiding soy foods. The exception would be small amounts of naturally fermented soy sauce or miso used for cooking.

I suggest that all my female patients of any age eat soy foods only in moderation.

But what about those reports from Asian countries that women who eat a lot of soy have lower rates of breast cancer and osteoporosis? Asian women eat soy mostly as soy sauce and fermented soy products, such as tempeh, miso, and natto. They do eat tofu in moderation, but they don’t eat soy practically every day in the form of an additive to processed foods. They don’t drink soy milk, much less eat soy cheese, soy ice cream, and soy burgers. When we look more closely at the claims that Asian women have less breast cancer and osteoporosis because of soy in the diet, they don’t really hold up.

The bottom line on this Bad Boy is that he’s powerful and carries a hormonal punch. If he’s on your love list, make sure the soy you eat is organic, and enjoy it in its whole form, such as edamame (immature soy beans still in the pod) or organic tofu, only now and then. Use organic soy sauce and avoid excess processed soy, including soy milk (try almond or hemp milk instead). If you’re avoiding soy on a doctor’s recommendation, you must read every label on every item you add to your shopping cart, because soy is commonly found in many packaged foods—even in chocolate bars, candy, breakfast cereals, soups, and condiments.

Sugar

Look out, girl: This Bad Boy is highly addictive and will make you his love slave. This deadly Bad Boy has created an epidemic of obesity in unheard of proportions. It’s in everything—80 percent of all processed foods have added sugar. Our palates have been so manipulated to crave sweetness that we Americans need it all day long.

Sugar is being force-fed to our children, disguised in cereal boxes and “healthy” drinks and energy bars. Because it’s so addictive, if you need it, you need it bad, and that makes this Bad Boy really difficult to give up.