Читать книгу Hurricane Jack of The Vital Spark - Hugh Foulis - Страница 6

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"HURRICANE JECK got a great, great name wi' the Admirality for his cheneral agility, efter we sunk the Cherman submarine off Sanda," said Para Handy, "and they would be sendin' him letters every other day, but not an article in the way o' money, and Jeck got vexed. Ye never, never in your life saw a man in such a bad trum; I declare the sparks would fly from him if ye rubbed his whiskers. He wass chust wicked! Am I right or am I wrong, Dougie?"

"Ye have it chust exact, Captain," chimed in the mate promptly. "His language wass deplorable for a Christian vessel."

"And, indeed, I wassna in tremendous good trum mysel' efter a fortnight or two o' danderin' roond the islands in the search o' Mr Tirptiz, wi' my boat pented in aal the colours o' a sixpenny kahouchy ball--"

"Chust makin' a bauchle o' the boat!" said Dougie, with feeling.

"I had no money neither, and if it wass not that Jeck had a fine brass-braided deep-sea kep in the bottom o' his kist, we would be stervin'. Every noo and then he would go ashore wi' a Western Ocean chart rolled up under his oxter and the kep weel cocked, and come back wi' a dozen o' eggs, a pound or two o' poothered butter, and a hen. They're silly folk aboot them islands--chust ass Hielan' ass Mull!--and when Jeck would cock his deep-sea kep at them, and wave the chart, and say he wass offeecial forger for the Navy, they would give him the very blankets!

"We went one day for water to a creek o' a place that was called Baghmohr, and spent the efternoon in pausin' and consuderin'. There iss a trig wee cotter hoose at Baghmohr, and a lot o' ducks aboot it; Jeck went in to caal wi' his kep on, efter studying the ducks to see which wass the fattest, and all that wass at home wass a woman and a cat.

"Jeck is aye the chentleman; he took off his kep and asked the woman in Gaelic where wass her husband.

"'I don't ken where in the world he iss,' said the wife, 'but he left this mornin' wi' an empty keg on his shouther, and him singin'.'

"'Chust that!' said Jeck. 'It's a bonny place ye have here; iss there chust the two o' ye?'

"'Bonny enough,' said the wife. 'There's only me and my man and the cat and the ducks, but it iss a terrible place for scandal!'

"When Jeck came back withoot a duck I was dumfoondered. 'Surely ye hadna the right cock on your bonnet?' I says to him. 'I'm sure ye never saw finer ducks.'

"It wass then he told me aboot the keg. 'When a man goes away in them parts wi' an empty keg on his shouther, and him singin',' says Jeck,' it's no' for holy water. We'll chust wait, Peter, till he comes back! 'Oh, man! Ye couldna be up to Jeck! He iss chust a perfect duvvle for contrivance! Am I right or am I wrong, Dougie?"

"Oh, he's smert enough wi' his heid," frankly admitted the mate.

"We watched for the man comin' back wi' the keg till it was nearly dark," continued Para Handy, "and when he came, he hadna a keg at aal wi' him, but wass singin' that lood it put the fear o' daith on the very ducks.

"'Whatever he went away for, it wassna in the keg he put it,' says Hurricane Jeck, 'but I'll bate ye anything he'll go back in the mornin', and Jenkins and me'll follow him up for fear that anything happens.'

"It wass hardly daylight when the man of Baghmohr wass out wi' a bowl at the well, and cold spring water didna please him, for before breakfast-time he wass leapin' like a hare across the island.

"'Put by your polishin' paste and put on your Sunday garments," said Jeck to Jenkins, 'and the two o' us'll find oot where that fellow goes for the hair o' the dog that bit him.'

"Jenkins stopped scourin' his cannon, and they started off in chase o' the Baghmohr man, for Jenkins had the greatest respect for Jeck and his agility.

"Ye'll maybe no' believe me, but they tramped six miles till they came to a clachan where everybody wass singin' like a Sunday School choir, and it a Tuesday mornin'! Every man in the place that had his wits aboot him wass doon on the shore aboot a cave wi' a great big puncheon o' rum in it. It had drifted ashore on the Sunday, but nobody put a hand on it till the Monday mornin'.

"They were singin' like hey-my-nanny when Jeck and Jenkins came in the midst o' them--Jeck wi' a terrible cock on his kep, and the North Sea chart as weel as the Western Ocean wan in his oxter, Jenkins wi' bell-moothed troosers and a white string wi' a whustle on't.

"'Biri your whustle!' commanded Jeck, and him throng buttonin' up his jecket.

"Jenkins birled his whustle the same's it wass for a British battle; Jeck cocked his kep on three hairs, turned up wan side o' his moustache, and steps in front o' the biggest man in the company. What wass it he said, Dougald?"

"Whatever ye say yoursel'. Captain," replied the mate with deference.

"I canna mind the words exactly, but Jeck assured them it wass the jyle for them. 'You are fair pollutin' the island wi' the King's rum,' said Jeck, and him sniffin'. 'Ye ken ass weel ass I do that every article that drifts ashore belongs to the Admirality. Gie me a tinny, and I'll see what will require for to be done.'

"They passed him a tinny--Jeck filled it at the spigot-hole that they had made in the puncheon, took a good sup, and said, 'Chust what I wass jalousin'--Jamaica rum. Iss that not desperate, Jenkins? Chust you taste it, to make sure.'

"Jenkins tasted near a pint, shut his eyes wan efter the other, and said it wass rum, withoot a question.

"'What ye'll do iss this,' says Jeck to the crofters, 'ye'll drive that spigot in again, put the puncheon on a cairt, and hurl it over to Baghmohr, where ye'll find oor gunboat lyin', and if ye're slippy aboot it I'll maybe let the thing blow by.'

"Jeck and Jenkins wass back at the boat by dinner-time, lookin' fine, and full o' capers, but the cairt wi' the puncheon in it didn't come till late in the efternoon. They said they had to travel seven miles to get a horse and cairt.

"We slung the goods aboard wi' the winch, and the men wass wantin' something for the salvage.

"'I dauma do it,' said Jeck,' it's against the regulations; forbye, ye didna bring your tinnies,' and in a few meenutes we had up the anchor, and were off to sea again.

"It would be near ten o'clock at night when Macphail the engineer took ill of a sudden, and nothin' would do him but a drop o' spurits. Jeck took a gimlet and bored a couple o' holes in the puncheon. He filled a cup for Macphail, and the silly fool had it swallowed before he found it wass nothing but a sample o' the Sound o' Sleat. Weren't they the blackguards! They had emptied the cask in their kegs and filled it up again wi' plain sea water! Oh, my! but Jeck wass angry!"