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ОглавлениеHow do we do it? How do we meditate in this way?
It is such a simple thing this meditation, and yet we are used to great complexity in our modern lives. How do we relearn simplicity? How do we learn to be still? How do we “let go” ?
It helps to understand something of the process. The type of meditation that will help us most to heal is very specific. In meditation that is intended to be therapeutic and lead to recovery, the intention is for the body to be deeply relaxed and for the thinking brain to relax, to become calm and to become still. But what is this meditation really like?
We can explain a great deal of the nature of meditation, how it works and what it does. But the true essence of meditation needs to be experienced to be fully comprehended. Dr. Meares asked a venerated Yogi in Nepal what it was like to meditate. The Yogi replied by asking him how he would describe the taste of a banana. You can use words to make comparisons and descriptions, but in the end the only way someone else can really know that taste is to peel a banana and try it! It is a matter of direct experience.
I hope these words give you the impetus and the confidence to try meditation. I trust they will leave you free to enter into this experience with an open, willing mind, knowing you are embarking on a very personal, exciting venture.
I have felt meditation transforming my life for the better and I have seen it happen often in others. It is probably the most pleasant thing I can do on my own and the most beneficial. Meditation has a place in everybody’s life.
As we set out the techniques, we are aiming to deeply relax our body and our mind. We are seeking to let go and regain our balance at a very deep, fundamental level.
The technique we shall use is set out in four easy steps: preparation, relaxation, mindfulness and stillness. Each of these steps is easy to learn; each has healing benefits in its own right and each flows quite naturally into the next.
Step 1 • Preparation
Start with the Right Attitude
The attitude with which we begin and then continue to practice our meditation is very important. In modern society we are used to striving for achievement. If we want something, we normally expect to have to work or struggle for it. Not so in meditation. Once we actually start the procedure, we need to abandon any sense of striving, for if we sit down with the intention to “meditate or bust,” we, can be sure of an unhappy result! The only striving may be in making the time to do it, exerting the will to say, “This is my time for meditation and nothing else takes precedence.” That can be effort enough, but once we commence, the accent is on effortlessness. It needs to be a focused but relaxed process.
Use an Affirmation
Next, to reinforce the attitude that this is a health-promoting procedure, many people find it helpful to begin with an affirmation. Nothing rigid or forced, just a gentle statement of intention. Usually, when I lead a meditation I begin with:
Let your eyes close gently.
Turn your thoughts inward.
Remember that this is a time for healing.
However, for you at home, simply repeating the last line works very well.
Some people feel comfortable following this with prayer and, of course, prayer can be highly beneficial. Something brief like “Not as I would, O Lord, but as Thou will” seems particularly appropriate, while many repeat longer prayers. Of course, prayer can have real benefits in its own right. More advice and a summary of interesting research in this field forms Appendix D.
Where to Meditate?
It makes obvious sense to be in as conducive an environment as possible. You will find it easiest when you feel secure, free from the prospect of interruptions and distractions and when you are in a quiet, comfortable space. A group of people all doing the same thing is very supportive, but meditation can easily be embarked upon in private.
Choose a room where you feel comfortable, preferably a room that is away from any bustle. If necessary, ask other people to leave you undisturbed. Be prepared to ignore the front doorbell or telephone should they ring. Initially it is good to use the same place regularly and to practice at the same time each day, if possible.
Posture
Now, what position should we use? The position you choose needs to satisfy only two criteria—it needs to be a position that is symmetrical, and a position that has an element of discomfort in it.
Discomfort—why should we be uncomfortable to begin something that is intended to be relaxing, pleasant and beneficial? Using this technique, the mild, initial discomfort soon fades from our awareness. It is essential to begin with it, however, as it makes us concentrate more. This works to make the relaxation more profound. The more uncomfortable we are when we begin, the deeper our level of relaxation has to be for us to regain a feeling of comfort and ease. Please just try this, as experience will soon show that this mild discomfort is a really useful ingredient in the process.
For most people what works well is to simply sit in a fairly upright chair, feet flat on the floor, just a little apart, hands resting comfortably on your thighs or cupped in your lap. Not much discomfort in that, but enough to be useful. Ideally, it is helpful to have your back fairly straight, although if the need is strong, you can lie down. As a beginner, closing the eyes is an effective way to start, but as you advance, they may just naturally open a little. As you meditate more, you may even like to experiment with sitting cross-legged on a cushion on the floor. However, the main thing is to take up a position you can relax into and stay in for the period you wish to meditate.
Step 2 • Relaxation
Now we are ready to use our body as the tool to guide us into the experience of meditation. We do this by training our body to relax, feeling what that relaxation is like, and letting it flow into our mind.
In the beginning we use a simple, formal procedure to capture the feeling of relaxation. Once we have done that and can reproduce the feeling, we can speed up the technique and simplify it, but every time we begin a session of meditation, we do take the time to consciously relax.
Remember that what we concentrate upon in this technique is a feeling—in this case, the feeling of relaxation.
Start by Becoming Familiar with Relaxing Individual Muscles
Be assured, this is a very simple technique. How it works is that we concentrate on one area of the body at a time. First we feel whatever sensations we can notice in that area. We simply notice how that particular area is feeling at this particular time. Then we contract the muscles in that area and make them tense. As we do this we notice the different feeling created by the tension. We feel the tension and then we relax the muscles. By repeating this technique through all the areas of the body we quickly learn how to relax the body very deeply indeed.
To do this as a complete exercise, first we need to go through the different areas of the body, learn how to feel them, create tension within them and then relax them.
We begin with the feet. Having taken up our chosen position, we let our eyes close gently and put all our attention on our feet. To do this exercise really effectively, we shift our center of awareness. Normally, our center of awareness is in our head, around about the space between our eyes. We feel as if that is the central point of everything for us. Now, by closing our eyes and concentrating on our feet, we feel as if they have become our center—almost as if we are “in” our feet. We then find that the feet do have a particular “feel.” If you find that hard to realize at first, the second step makes it more obvious. You now contract all the muscles in the feet to impose tension on that area. In effect, you are making the feet rigid so they are tense and immovable. The feeling of tension is quite different to the feeling of relaxation. Feel that difference. Next you let the muscles relax, and you pay attention to the feeling of the muscles relaxing, the feeling of letting go.
So there is the simple process. Feel the area, contract the muscles, and let them go.
Learning to Relax the Muscle Groups in Our Body
Another necessary step in learning this technique is to familiarize yourself with how to contract the different muscle groups. Remember that this is the introductory part of the technique and that if you follow it, you will soon experience meditation proper.
When it comes to relaxing physically, the forehead and the hands are particularly important, as over 60 percent of the body’s nerve endings are in these two areas. The more nerve endings we relax, the more the message goes back to the brain to relax. Therefore, the more we feel the relaxation, the more we become truly relaxed.
As the body first relaxes, often it begins to feel very heavy. It is so loose and relaxed—it feels as if it could just melt into the floor. Then, as it goes deeper into the process, it begins to enter a phase that we describe as “letting go.” A new lightness comes over it. Sometimes there can be a tingling, a sensation of warmth; invariably there will be a sense of comfort, pleasure and ease. If we let our mind go along with this feeling, we soon lose all awareness of our body and surroundings. Noises seem far away and inconsequential and we are left with an expansive, floating feeling. This feeling of “letting go” can be likened to a sensation that is similar at first to floating peacefully in warm water. Then it is as if we were dissolving out into that water. We feel as if we are taking up more space than just the normal confines of our body.
The Progressive Muscle Relaxation Exercise
Having become familiar with contracting the various muscle groups and relaxing them, we are ready for our first meditative exercise—the progressive muscle relaxation (PMR). We need to go with this a little, to trust in its simplicity and allow ourselves to move into it. The body is the guide. As we feel the body relaxing, we notice our thinking processes winding down, and as the body enters the state of “letting go,” we allow the mind to flow with it.
To lead ourselves through this technique based on physical relaxation, we speak quietly to ourselves. In our mind, we talk ourselves through the exercise using the simple, abstract phrases reproduced opposite. In the group situation, I lead people by saying these words aloud. At home you can begin by learning them, then repeating them quietly to yourself, or you could use a CD or download with the words recorded.
Contracting and Relaxing the Muscles
Sit symmetrically, let your eyes close gently, and contract the muscles of the feet. If you find it hard to work out how to make the muscles move, pull the toes back toward the heels while at the same time resisting any movement. This locks all the muscles tightly and gives a good impression of what tension is like in that area.
Then relax the muscles.
The calves: Imagine someone was going to pull your ankle in any direction and you wanted to resist. This locks all the calf muscles as desired. You may notice some of the muscles in the thighs become involved and that they also contract. Keep this to a minimum but do not be concerned by it, while it is helpful to concentrate as much as possible on what is happening in the calves.
Next, the thighs: These are the largest muscle group in the body and it is easy to feel the tension in them. If you need help to make these muscles contract, try to lift the feet off the ground while at the same time holding the thighs down with the hands. The tension is then obvious.
The buttocks: These are contracted by squeezing the big muscles of the backside and so lifting a little off the chair. However, we want to be aware of the whole pelvic area, so feel the relaxation flowing right through that region of the body, including all around the pelvis.
The tummy: We begin with this area by contracting the tummy muscles as well as those of the lower back. If we imagine that we are lying on our back and someone is about to drop a heavy ball on our tummy, the right muscles will be working! With the tummy, the need to feel the relaxation all through the area we are focusing upon is even more evident. So when we relax, we feel the muscles relax and also feel that inside the tummy is relaxing as well as all through the lower sections of the spine. There is no need to try to imagine a relaxed liver, a relaxed spleen, etc.—just feel that same deep relaxation all through the tummy, in a general, nonspecific way.
The chest: The same principle applies as with the tummy. We contract all the chest muscles and make the chest tight like a rigid barrel. Then we relax the muscles and feel the relaxation all through the chest and around and through the upper spine.
The arms: We do the arms as one unit. Make them completely rigid as if resisting movement in any direction. Stiffening them produces the feeling of tension very readily; then feel the relaxation.
The shoulders: This includes the neck and the throat as well. Here we contract the muscles by lifting the shoulders and pulling the head down. Feel the relaxation then in the shoulders, neck and throat.
The jaw: Grit the teeth and feel the tension in the big muscles we use for chewing. Relaxing, feel it in the mouth, lips and cheeks as well as the big muscles at the side of the jaw.
The eyes: Closing the eyes in a squint makes the tension obvious. Relax and feel it in the eyes and across the nose.
The forehead: Some people find it easier to frown than others! Contract the muscles, feel the tension and let it go. Maybe you raise and lower the eyebrows. Feel the forehead smoothing out.
The words need to be repeated slowly and rhythmically. Many people find it helpful to repeat one phrase every second breath. That is, you breathe in and say a phrase as you breathe out; then breathe in again, breathe out, breathe in and say another phrase as you breathe out the second time.
You will notice in the exercise that follows, each phrase is separated by a number of dots. These are to remind you to breathe, to proceed slowly and steadily. You will find that as the relaxation progresses, your breathing is likely to slow down automatically. There is no need to emphasis the breathing at all. It will adopt its own slow and steady rhythm in a natural way.
Now we are ready to give our attention to this key exercise. So when you are ready, take up your position and begin.
The Progressive Muscle Relaxation Exercise
Let your eyes close gently . . . Turn your thoughts inward . . . And remember that this is a time for healing . . .
Turn your attention to the feet . . . really concentrate on the feet . . . perhaps move them a little . . . really feel what they are like at the moment . . . now contract the muscles of the feet . . . feel the tension . . . feel the difference . . . and let them go . . . feel the muscles relaxing . . . feel it deeply . . . completely . . . just simply letting go . . .
The calves . . . feel them . . . contract the muscles . . . and let them go . . . feel it deeply . . . it is a good feeling . . . a natural feeling . . . feel it deeply . . . feel the letting go . . .
The thighs . . . contract the muscles . . . and let them go . . . feel it all through . . . the legs feel heavy . . . as if they could merge down into the floor . . . more and more . . . deeper and deeper . . . letting go . . .
The buttocks . . . contract the muscles . . . and let them go . . . and feel it all through the hips and the pelvis . . . sometimes it helps to imagine there has been a belt or a band around the hips that has just been released a little . . . just simply letting go . . . letting go . . .
The tummy . . . contract the muscles . . . and let them go . . . feel it all though the tummy . . . it is a good feeling . . . a natural feeling . . . feel it deeply . . . feel the letting go . . .
Now the chest . . . contract the muscles . . . and let them go . . . feel it all through . . . more and more . . . deeper and deeper . . . letting go . . .
The arms . . . contract the muscles . . . and let them go . . . and feel it in the hands particularly . . . maybe you notice a warmth or a tingling flowing down into the hands . . . calm and relaxed . . . maybe a feeling of lightness . . . as if they could be just floating there . . . just going with it . . . letting go . . .
The shoulders . . . contract the muscles . . . and let them go . . . deeply . . . completely . . . and feel it up through the neck and throat . . . more and more . . . deeper and deeper . . . letting go . . .
Now the jaw . . . contract the muscles . . . and let them go . . . feel the jaw drop a little . . . feel it deeply . . . the tongue, soft and loose . . . feel it all through the mouth . . . it is a good feeling . . . a natural feeling . . . feel the letting go . . .
And feel it up over the nose and across the cheeks . . . now the eyes . . . contract the muscles . . . and let them go . . . deeply . . . completely . . . feeling it all through the eyes . . . almost like the eyes could be floating in their sockets . . . more and more . . . letting go . . .
And feel it around the ears . . . the back of the head . . . up over the top of the head . . . calm and relaxed . . . just going with it . . . calm and relaxed . . .
Now the forehead . . . contract the muscles . . . and let them go . . . feel it in the forehead particularly . . . feel the forehead smoothing out . . . feel it all through . . . more and more . . . deeper and deeper . . . letting go . . . letting go . . .
After a period of silence, we usually finish by saying, “That’s good . . . Let your eyes gently open now.”
And so what happened? Most people, on first doing the PMR are struck by the deep sense of physical relaxation it produces. They find this a new and exciting sensation they want to repeat more often. Just recently, David, a cancer patient who is fifty-eight, said he had worked hard all his life and enjoyed doing so, but on trying this exercise for the first time, realized he had never before known the joy and pleasure of being so simply, so deeply relaxed.
As a beginner, what is recommended is to start with this PMR exercise and use it as your main meditation practice for some weeks at least. Actually, for many people I helped in the early days this was all they used. However, in current times, people often find it useful to take the time to learn how to simplify and deepen the relaxation aspect of the PMR, and then proceed, giving added emphasis to the mindfulness and the stillness. The explanation for all of this follows and the main meditation practice to move on to once you have mastered the PMR is at the end of the next chapter.
Step 3 • Mindfulness
As we do come to feel more relaxed, we actually become more aware. This is another key point. We relax our body, feel the relaxation in our body and feel that relaxation flowing into our mind. But this is not a sleepy thing. We keep our awareness awake and, in fact, it becomes more vivid. It is like we are awake, aware and at the same time deeply relaxed.
How we do this is expressed in the word mindfulness. Now mindfulness may be a new word for some but it is very simple, both in concept and in practice. Mindfulness describes how we concentrate in a particular way. It helps us with the next step, what to do once our body is deeply relaxed and our mind calm.
Mindfulness has been defined by Jon Kabat-Zinn9 as paying attention, deliberately and nonjudgmentally, to our present moment experience. Another way to say this is that mindfulness is concentrating on what is going on right now, in this particular moment, in a way that is focused and nonjudgmental. It is to do with observing, with being aware of what is happening right now, without judging what is happening as being good or bad, right or wrong. It is to do with simply being really interested, really curious, really attentive to what is going on right now, in this very moment.
This then is the ability to be mindful. It is as simple as being able to give your full attention to whatever you are doing. And doing this in a way that is not distracted by old thoughts, doubts or fears from the past, or anxious wondering about how things will turn out in the future.
Mindfulness cuts through stress and anxiety by focusing on what we are doing now. And think of it: If we give our full attention to what we are doing now, how can we do any more? With mindfulness, we learn to give our best, to give our full attention, to whatever we do. This is why developing mindfulness is so valuable for more than meditation and healing. Mindfulness frees the mind to engage fully in sport, business, relationships, creativity, feeling good and being well! You name it—everything goes better when you do it mindfully.
Sometimes it is helpful to have the contrast and to realize what mindlessness is. Mindlessness is the opposite of mindfulness. Mindlessness is when you are not paying attention, when you are spaced-out as if no one is home. It is like when you do something, know you actually did it, but have no memory of it at all. Like you get home after being out, travel home, arrive at your front door and have no real memory of the trip. Or you plan to listen to something like the weather on the radio, it comes and goes and there is no memory of it. It is like you missed it altogether. That is mindlessness and we all do it pretty regularly.
Mindfulness is where we begin to change that and we learn to be present more often, more fully. Where we learn to give our full attention; where we learn to give our best to whatever we do.
Now what most people do notice when they start to become aware of mindfulness is how often they are mindless! This is why this practice, this mind training is so useful. Not only does it help us to learn to be more mindful, more often, but it teaches us how to go easy on ourselves.
There is this natural tendency to judge ourselves harshly, so now we want to change all that. What is known from experience is that many people have a history of feeling badly about what they do and do not do. Most of us when we begin these mind-training practices do tend to notice our mindlessness, and as a result we feel awkward, unhappy, sometimes embarrassed or even ashamed. Why am I like this? Why do I do this? We tend to judge ourselves as meditators, judge our capacity to be mindful.
Now of course, we do not want our meditation to become another source of stress. So what to do? Well, it is simple. Everyone has fairly frequent moments of mindlessness, unless they have trained their minds. All of us as human beings have the tendency to be lazy, to be forgetful, to be mindless, to be judgmental. This is normal. So while it may be a bit disappointing as a beginner to even notice all this, go easy on yourself.
Be inspired! Isn’t it wonderful that there is a part of us that can actually become aware of all this and do something about it! Any progress is a step in the right direction and becoming more mindful helps to let go of the judgments of others and of ourselves. The thing is to persevere. Do not be put off by what is the common starting point for so many people. We can all learn these new skills. We can learn to master our minds and feel the benefits. Here then is how we add the next step and begin to practice and develop mindfulness.
Relax and Become More Aware
As we begin to experience the relaxation, quite naturally our thoughts settle a bit and we just simply start to notice what is going on around us a little more clearly. This is the beauty of this technique. It simply unfolds from one step to another. So as we relax, we become more aware, more mindful.
Perhaps it is the sounds we notice first. We notice any sounds that may be around about us. And what we aim to do is to simply notice these sounds as they come and go. We let go of any judgment, let go of commentary. So we aim to avoid thinking about the sounds. It is fine to be aware of what is making the sound; for example, an ambulance may pass by in the street. But we avoid wondering where it is going or will we be in an ambulance one day. We simply register there is an ambulance passing by and let it go. Simple as that.
Then maybe we become a little more aware of the sensations in our bodies, and again we choose to notice these things more nonjudgmentally. We aim to let go of any sense of good or bad, right or wrong, and focus our awareness on just simply noticing what it is that we are aware of. We take up the stance of being an impartial observer; a nonjudgmental observer. We are aware, we are interested, we are curious. What is happening right now? What is our body feeling like at this particular moment? We are coming into the present moment with awareness. This is mindfulness.
And so then we might take some time to focus our mindfulness more deliberately. To begin with, it can be very helpful to focus our awareness more particularly on our breath. We feel the breath coming in. Feel the breath going out, and we feel the natural release, the relaxation, the letting go that flows quite effortlessly, quite naturally with the out breath. Almost with a sigh of relief we can let go, we can relax a little deeper.
Now it can be helpful to bring the focus of our mindfulness more particularly to our body. Again with that open curiosity, we notice the sensations in our body. We scan our attention through the body, starting from the feet and moving up to the head. If any area does feel a little tight or tense, sore or painful, we simply notice that, aiming to be free of any judgment, free of reaction, free of commentary. Maybe there is the feeling of letting go a little. That natural feeling of relaxing, releasing, letting go. Quite effortlessly. Effortlessly. We feel the natural ease of it all.
We are content to relax, to be aware, to be mindful.
Step 4 • Stillness
Having prepared well, relaxed deeply and become more mindful, now we begin to notice something really interesting—we begin to become aware of a deeper stillness. In time it becomes more apparent that this stillness is like an all-pervasive background. It is like when all the activity stops, the stillness is naturally revealed.
This is just like being in a room full of people, all talking, all busy. While initially it may be the noise and movement that is most obvious, we know there is a potential silence in the room all the time; it is just with all the activity it is not so easy to notice it. If we were to ask everyone to tell the others to be quiet so we could hear the silence, they might all rush around anxiously and the noise become louder! Some people attempt this with their meditation. They spend their time trying to tell their minds to shut up and just get caught up in one form of mental activity after another.
This is why the mindfulness is so useful. We let go of trying to do anything other than to be aware. This is the key to it. Do it effortlessly, in a kindly, nonjudgmental manner. Just be curious to notice whatever happens and quite naturally the activity will settle and the stillness will become more obvious.
It is like having a glass full of muddy water. If you continue to stir the water, you just get more and more muddy water! But when you put the glass down and leave it undisturbed, the nature of water is that it clears. The mud settles to the bottom and you are left with the clear water. The mind is just the same. Leave it undisturbed and it settles.
So what is this like in practice? As we relax, our body and our mind settles. As our mind settles, thoughts invariably continue to come and go. So now, we choose to observe the thoughts. No need to try to push any thoughts away or to dwell on any thoughts in particular. We just simply notice them, again free of reaction or judgment. We are curious. What thoughts are coming into my mind right now? What am I actually thinking about right now? We turn our mindfulness to being aware of our thoughts.
We can understand what this mindfulness of thoughts is like is if we consider what happens when we watch a movie. We go into the movie theater, sit down and wait for the film to start. We are conscious of being in our seat, in the theater with other people around about us. We are watching the screen and then the lights dim and the movie starts. Almost invariably, we soon forget we are in our seat and it is like we are in the movie, lost in the projection of light and sound that is the movie. Then from time to time it is like we snap out of the movie and remember we are in our seat, observing the movie. Mindlessness is when we are caught up in the movie. Mindfulness is where we have our awareness, we are the impartial observer, and we are aware we are watching a movie. When we can adopt this attitude with our thoughts, we give them no strength. If we allow them to just roll on, to come and to go like scenes in a movie we are watching, they do just that—and soon they slow down and settle.
What becomes obvious as we relax and become more mindful is that as we go with all this, we become a little calmer and importantly, our thoughts do quite naturally begin to slow down. Again, we do not need to do anything more than what we have been doing for this to happen. This is a process based on relaxation—focused relaxation, it is true, but relaxation, mindfulness and natural ease. We just focus on doing the exercises, go with the flow as they say, and by doing so we progress quite easily and reliably.
And as we do this, a remarkable thing unfolds. As we notice our thoughts more clearly, we notice how each individual thought has a starting point, a middle and an end point. Obviously each and every thought we have has to start somewhere, and to finish somewhere. And as we relax more, as we become more mindful, this fact just becomes more obvious. We notice when we first become aware of a particular thought, we notice it passing through our awareness, and we notice when it finishes.
Then another really useful observation. As our thoughts begin to slow a little and we notice them more clearly, we notice that after one thought finishes, and before another thought starts, there is often a small gap.
Now in the gap between our two thoughts, there is obviously a moment of silence, a moment of stillness. So now we turn our attention, our awareness, to noticing the gap between the thoughts. And again, when we do this mindfully, free of judgment, just with an open curiosity, not only do we notice the stillness but often enough it lasts a little longer; there is a bigger gap before the next thought comes. But again we make no effort to force this or to manipulate it. We just notice it. We are patient. We are the impartial observer. Just simply curious to notice what happens.
More stillness? Another thought? What is it? We take the attitude of a patient, curious, impartial observer and do just that, we observe. We aim to treat the stillness and the thoughts in just the same way. Nonjudgmentally. With curious awareness. So we notice the stillness. We notice if and when another thought comes. We remain aware and undistracted.
And what we do notice is that the thoughts do come, and they do go. Thoughts are just like white clouds drifting across a blue sky. They come when they are ready. They go when they are ready.
The blue sky is there all the time. Vast. Pure. Pristine. Always there. The clouds just come and go. And even on the cloudiest of days, we know the sky is still there, we just cannot quite see it because of the clouds.
Meditation is like getting into an airplane on a cloudy day. When we take off, all we can see are the clouds everywhere. We fly up through those clouds, break through, and there it is again, like a big canopy stretching above us, the vast, blue sky. It was always there, it was just that we could not see it from the ground. We needed the plane. We needed to learn how to fly.
So it is with our thoughts. Sometimes our mind is full of them. Sometimes it may even seem as if we have a raging storm going on inside. But we can always use meditation to reconnect with that other aspect of our mind, that deeper stillness.
Sure our thoughts can be really useful, but sometimes they can be too much, too problematic. Sometimes we can suffer from excessive thinking! What a relief to know that there is a way out. That there is always the possibility we can turn our attention from the active thoughts, to the stillness. It is like on a cloudy day, we choose to focus on what we can see of the blue sky rather than what we can see of the clouds.
And in our meditation, as we move our attention from the thoughts to the stillness, we come to realize that the stillness is just like the sky is to the clouds. The stillness is ever present. It is there all the time. Vast. Pure. Untouched. The thoughts come and go but the stillness, like the sky, is always there.
Now be reminded once again that while thinking can obviously be very useful, there is great benefit in letting go of the thinking for a while—of going beyond the thinking into that deep natural peace of this stillness where balance is restored and sustained for body, emotions and clarity of mind. We may even reconnect with the essence of who we really are in that stillness.
And there is another powerful truth here. You must have noticed that even after the darkest clouds, the worst storm, sooner or later it does actually clear and the blue sky reemerges. And despite the worst storm, the sky is never stained.
Sure, there is a part of us that can feel pain, we can be ill, we can have troubling thoughts. Our personal storms can take many forms. But this is one of the really wonderful discoveries that comes with meditation: No matter how difficult things have been or may be now, no matter how stormy, there is always a part of us that is unstainable, untouchable and inviolable. There is this inner essence, this core of our being that is good, pure, whole and unstainable.
Knowing this brings a deep inner satisfaction and contentment. To experience the truth of who we really are, to directly experience that in our essence we are whole, pure and good—this is the real heart of meditation. This is what brings a confidence to all we do. This is what helps to bring out the best in all we do. This is what brings a gentle smile to the face of so many meditators. This is the truth of who we really are and the truth of how we can be.
Summary • How to Meditate
To put it really simply: Having prepared well, we relax. Relaxing more deeply, we become more mindful. As our mindfulness develops, the stillness naturally reveals itself. We rest in open, undistracted awareness. Easy as that.
This is the essence of mindfulness-based stillness meditation, and this, the main meditation technique that is recommended, is set out at the end of the next chapter.
Time to Practice
Finally then, what level of commitment is required? Quality of life or quantity of life? Your aims and priorities must be very clear. Any time allocation has to be balanced by your needs, your beliefs and your other commitments.
Quality of life is vastly improved by doing ten to twenty minutes once or twice daily. To make an impact on quantity of life, to aim for recovery, three longer sessions per day from forty minutes up to one hour each are recommended.
I feel it very important to set yourself a goal in this regard. Work out your priorities and set a goal for the coming week. It is far better to set a conservative goal to begin with and succeed in meeting it than to fall short of an overambitious target.
So having set your goal, practice for a week. Then assess your results, reassess your goals and priorities, and reset your target. Remember that it is probable that you will have what seem to be good sessions and ordinary ones to begin with. The more meditation you do, the more repeatable and the more satisfying it becomes.
When I first began, my situation was critical and I did about five hours a day for three months. I then did three hourly sessions for the next year, then around an hour each day ever since. Also, for many years I have continued to regularly attend (or give) more intensive meditation retreats. This is obviously a big time commitment. I did it when I was ill because it felt good and it gave me results. I continue to do around an hour each day for the same reasons.
If quality of life is your aim, and time appears short, ten to twenty minutes twice a day will help you a lot. I remember the story from many years ago of a man who had been estimated to have three weeks to live. He went to Dr. Meares full of enthusiasm for his ideas around meditation and was keen to begin. However, on being told he would need to spend three hours a day at it, he replied, “Oh, I haven’t time for that” and left!
I am sure meditation improves both quality of life and quantity of life.
Only you can do it.
