Читать книгу A Thin Place - Jack Peterson - Страница 29

July 4, 1992

Angels Camp, CA

While the man across his kitchen table didn’t look young, Crockett guessed him to be only a few years his junior. “Let me get this straight,” he bellowed. “You came all the way from Minnesota because you heard I was in DC when you were there? I don’t get it!”

Dr. Jeremiah Trent picked up his glass and took another sip of beer. Physically, Crockett could only marvel at the man. Trent looked like what he perceived would be every motion picture director’s dream of what a true cowboy should be. He was tall and lean with squinty sun-hardened eyes and a weather-beaten face. His grayish hair was long, combed straight back with locks that hung nearly three inches below his neckline and sported a mustache that looked as if it required trimming with hedge clippers. Taking down a grizzly with his bare hands also was a distinct possibility. If the motion picture academy had such an award, Crockett would give Trent an Oscar just because of how he looked. He was that unique.

A slow smile appeared on Trent’s face as he sat his glass back on the table. “Not because you were in DC, but why you were there,” he responded, emphasizing each word as if it had an importance of its own.

Crockett stared straight in to Trent’s eyes. “Why was I there?”

Trent’s voice was deep, gruff. “You have a grandson that was recently diagnosed with autism. I was told you were there trying to get more information on the subject.”

Shaking his head, Crockett did not get the connection. “I can see that my grandson might be news in Angels Camp because ours is a small town and news travels fast. What puzzles me is how it is that you came by that news. I certainly haven’t made any public statements about it.”

“A friend at the FDA told me you had been there a few days before I was there.”

“I was only there for an hour!”

“When someone of your stature shares lunch with the director of the Food and Drug Administration and does it in the FDA cafeteria, word gets around. Apparently, after you left, there were some calls made from the Director’s office to some of the internal divisions asking for some reports. My friend in the Research Center was on the receiving end of one of those calls. Since I was asking him some of the same questions, he told me about your visit. He just thought it was odd. Autism is not exactly a common household word.”

“So, why would my interest in autism concern you?”

“Simple! You passed the first test. You a have an interest in a subject most people shy away from because they don’t understand it. When I heard about you, it gave me an idea. You were in DC searching for a cure, and I was there researching cause. The thought occurred to me we might be able to work together, and I was coming to San Francisco for another matter anyway, so I made the call. It was worth a shot. Anna did the rest.”

Crockett decided to quit dancing around and get to the point. “Exactly, what is it you want Dr. Trent?”

Trent raised his palm in a halting manner. “Please, call me Jeremiah. Being an old farm boy from Minnesota, I find the term doctor a bit impersonal. In all my years, I’ve never gotten used to it.”

Crockett felt Trent’s demeanor a breath of fresh air. His trip to DC had just reinforced his opinion that people back there were mostly politicking for reelection or trying not to piss off anybody enough to lose their jobs. He decided to play along. “Alright, I’ll ask again. Please, tell me what you have in mind.”

Trent was quick. “First of all, I have no clue how to cure autism. To my knowledge, there isn’t one. However, I do have some theories about what may be contributing to the increases, and I emphasize the word theories. With a little more research, pieces of the puzzle may start falling into place. That’s where you come in.”

“How so?”

“You would never have taken the trip east if you didn’t want answers about your grandson. It became obvious to me when I was in DC that nobody back there is even thinking about autism. Ask about it and all you get are blank stares. Autism is beginning to run rampant throughout the U.S. and nobody back there seems to care. Since the beginning of time, over a billion people have been born in our God’s world. Historical records have documented countless plagues and diseases dating back centuries but no mention of anything that comes close to resembling what we now call autism. Now why do you suppose that is?”

“I am sure you’re going to tell me.”

“That’s the problem. I only have a theory. I can’t prove my suspicions. I need help and believe that your background could be a huge plus, help speed up the informational process. You could help get the attention of some people in a position to help. We need to determine the cause, stop all this before this gets any worse.”

“What does the government have to do with it?”

“It’s complicated. Come aboard and I’ll tell you.”

Crockett knew his skepticism was showing. A silence fell as they stared at each other across the table.

Trent quickly broke the impasse, ticking his voice up a notch. “Look, I can’t help you with your grandson, but I can help you understand his autism. With a little luck, I may even be able to prove why he became autistic. Most people don’t give a damn about autism unless it affects them directly. Obviously, you have reason to care. I just thought we might have a fit. Together, we could make a difference. Somebody has to do it.”

“What makes you so interested in autism?”

Trent’s voice was unemotional, matter-of-fact. “Autism is misunderstood. Most people still think of it as a mental problem. Up until the early sixties that’s exactly how it was diagnosed. It’s really a physical malfunction of the brain that causes autism, and something is causing it. There are specialists who study and treat those afflicted and they do a damn fine job of it, but that’s all they do. They don’t ask why their patients have autism. They just accept and try to manage it.”

Testing, Crockett persisted. “And you say you know what’s causing it?”

Trent didn’t take the bait. “I said I have a theory as to what is causing the increases. It may not be applicable to every case, but I believe it is a major contributor. I already know you did enough homework to know that the incidence of autism has grown significantly in the last few years. Unless we do something, there’s a good chance we’re only looking at the tip of the iceberg. This could be epidemic.”

“You think it is going to get worse?”

“You can count on it.”

Crockett’s bushy eyebrows rose. “Why do you believe that?”

Leaning back in his chair, Trent paused before responding. Crockett was convinced he was stalling, not prepared to reveal everything, at least not yet. “I fear that something that happened long ago is likely to be rearing its ugly head, contributing to the cause.”

Finding out what long ago meant was important for Crockett, but a sudden flash of personal brilliance temporarily put his curiosity on the back burner. He remembered the report about the increases in autism given to him by the Chief of Staff at the U.S. Department of Education in April. He jumped out of his chair and walked over to the refrigerator where he had a note stuck under a magnet on the door and read it again. Trent was right. The numbers didn’t lie. There had to be a reason.

Crockett handed the note to Trent. “I made this note to myself when I got back from Washington. If the numbers are right, the incidence of autism in the last thirty years in the U.S. has increased by a hundred and forty percent while the general population only went up less than forty percent. Is this what you’re talking about?”

“Exactly!”

Crockett sat down, sighing heavily. “I must admit, you’ve piqued my interest. What exactly do you think happened that everyone else seems to have missed?”

“I’m afraid that might be a bit of a thin place.”

“What do you mean?”

“About… ?”

“You mentioned a thin place”.

“In science or in general?”

Crockett’s confusion escalated. “Right now I don’t know what the hell to think.”

“Do you believe in God?”

“What the hell does that have to do with my question?”

“Possibly everything, if you want to understand the concept.”

“How’s that?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“About my belief in God?”

“Yes.”

“Does it really make a difference?”

Trent nodded. “If you believe, then I may be able to explain what I mean.”

“O.K., I think I believe.”

“You think?”

Crockett was sparring with a very capable opponent and he knew it. “I don’t really know. That’s why I said I think.”

“It is because you can’t believe what you can’t see?”

“Possibly.”

Trent smiled. “Good! Now, I can explain.”

Crockett still felt confused, took a deep breath and exhaled. “I’m all ears!”

Trent stood, walked to the window and looked out, turning his back to Crockett. Without looking back, he began to explain. “No matter what our faith or beliefs about something that we have never seen, it’s only natural that we harbor questions about what we’ve been taught or read. Without being able to touch something, so we can dissect it and form our own first-hand conclusions, we can only rely on what others have experienced before us. If put to the test, there are many things we believe in that we can’t really prove because we haven’t experienced them first hand.”

“Like not having ever seen or heard God?”

Trent turned back to face Crockett. “Exactly.”

“So what’s a thin place?”

“In the spiritual sense, it would be the space between your own beliefs and actually seeing proof that God exits. In science, it is different.”

Crockett pushed his chair back from the table, stood up, and leaned against the kitchen counter. Trent still had his back to him. “I understand the spiritual side of it. We have to die to be sure our convictions are right, but what is it in science?”

Trent turned back from the window. “It’s where we suddenly discover proof of our theories. What we think is possible or impossible is finally given credence through hard evidence. A hypothesis is validated or has a hint of validation for the first time because a missing piece or pieces of the puzzle suddenly fall into place. What we thought but couldn’t prove suddenly becomes provable. By melting fact and theory together, we get close enough that suddenly our theories begin to take a physical shape, a plausible hypothesis, something we have not seen before becomes clearly evident. It’s like a cloud lifting, shedding light so we can see.”

Crockett remained silent, hoping Trent could somehow provide a simpler way to make his point. Trent didn’t disappoint. “Let me put it another way. When I was much younger, I went on vacation to the Pennine Alps in Switzerland to do some hiking. There is a massive mountain that overlooks the village of Zermatt, it’s called The Matterhorn. It was cloudy the entire time I was there. Oh, you could see well enough to hike around, but it was very limited. You couldn’t see the mountain peaks, just the terrain in front of you. I went there specifically to see the Matterhorn. All the time I was there, I knew it was right above me, but I couldn’t see it because of the weather. It was a major disappointment. When I boarded the train to go home, it was still cloudy. I took a last look out the window after the train slowly began to move. All of a sudden, the clouds thinned, and I could see the outline of the Matterhorn. It was massive. Its famous crooked peak was unmistakable. What I knew to exist, but couldn’t prove because I had never seen it, was suddenly validated. I saw the Matterhorn. I still couldn’t see very clearly, but it was there. I finally had proof.”

“Then, a thin place is…?”

Trent paused, as if he were choosing his words carefully before answering the question. Crockett waited patiently.

Several seconds passed before Trent explained. “It’s when the veil between the seen and the unseen becomes transparent. Something we thought or only believed suddenly becomes an undeniable truth.”

“Impressive!” Crockett roared. “Then, I presume your thin place has something to do with what you believe might be causing autism.”

A smile formed under Trent’s moustache. “Remember, before I became a physician, I was a chemist, and I am still a scientist at heart. I was taught that facts were the only acceptable means of explaining why things happen or could happen. Without them, we only have theories. Right now, all I have is a theory, and I probably don’t have enough years remaining in my life to prove my hypothesis correct. We can talk all we want about what we think causes autism and not get much of an audience. If we can prove it, the world will become our classroom.”

The ticking of the kitchen clock above the refrigerator was the only sound as they both sat quietly, each studying the other. Crockett could feel a mutual bond beginning to form. He broke the silence. “Jeremiah, I don’t know what you’re getting me into but I plan to find out.”

Trent looked tentative. “Does that mean what I think it means?”

“Let me put it another way,” Crockett offered. “A distant relative of mine once said that a detective doesn’t like to be told things. He likes to find out! If you’re up to putting up with an irascible son-of-a-bitch like me, I’d like to find out what you know. If you’ll allow me into your world, you’ve got a partner!”

Trent offered no response, not even a hint of facial expression. Seconds passed. They seemed like minutes to Crockett. Then, with a simple nod of his head, Trent offered his outstretched hand. Crockett needed no explanation. He still wasn’t sure exactly why, but he had a new partner.