Читать книгу Outrageous Japanese - Jack Seward - Страница 8

CHAPTER ONE

Physical Appearance

FAT OR SKINNY

The Japanese language is rich in words to hurt others through disparaging comments about weight, shape, age, attire, odor, and hairiness. Let’s look first at several choice words of abuse that can be directed at those who are, bluntly speaking, futotte iru 太っている (fat). There is a very good (and obvious) reason that I know a god’s plenty of such colorful epithets, enough of them having been directed at my person.

I must note, however, that the Japanese may not all agree that such words are belittling. Although the younger generation wants to be “smart” (meaning fashionably slender, not intelligent), the older ones tend to regard obesity as obvious proof of success and wealth. Else, how could you afford to eat enough to put on that extra weight? Indeed, the word for paunch is jūyaku-bara 重役腹, or “a company director’s stomach.”

I shudder to recall how often a Japanese acquaintance (I disdain to use the word friend) has launched at me a brutal barb like:

Mā, Suwādo-san wa honto ni futotte iru, ne.

まあ、スワ一ドさんは本当に太っているね。

You really are fat, aren’t you, Mr. Seward.

I try to keep in mind that my acquaintance may have meant his comment as a compliment of sorts but it has taken me a long time to accustom myself to such a frank evaluation, a very long time indeed.

Other words which can be used to describe excessive weight include debu-debu でぶでぶ and buyo-buyo ぶよぶよ, as in these examples:

Buchō no debu-debu shita musume wa yobanaide okō. Kanojo no shiri ni au isu wa nai kara na.

部長のでぶでぶした娘は呼ばないでおこう。彼女の尻 に合う椅子はないからな。

Let’s not invite the section chief’s obese daughter. We don’t have a chair that would fit her hips.

O-debu no musume おでぶの娘 fatty girl

Ano buyo-buyo bāsan wa anata ni te wo futte iru.

あのぶよぶよ婆さんは、あなたに手を振っている。

That flabby old woman is waving her hand at you.

That same buyo-buyo bāsan ぶよぶよ婆さん would be expected to have pendulous breasts, the word for which is tare-jichi 垂れ乳 “hanging breasts”. Thus, if the circumstances indicate, she could also be called:

• tare-jichi no hihi-babā 垂れ乳の狒狒婆

baboonlike old woman with saggy breasts

A flat-chested woman can be described as pecha-pai ぺち ゃぱい - the pecha ぺちゃ coming from pechanko ni naru ぺちゃんこになる, “to be flattened”:

Kare wa pecha-pai to kekkon shita.

彼はぺちゃぱいと結婚した。

He married a girl who has no tits at all.

Other germane expressions:

• deppuri shita (hito) でっぷりした（人） dumpy (person)

• toshima-butori 年増太り a gain in weight that women may experience with the encroachment of middle age

• zunguri shita (hito) ずんぐりした（人） fat and short (person)

• hyakkan debu 百貫でぶ tub of lard (hyakkan 百貫 means 100 kan 貫 or 826 pounds.)

• futotcho 太っちょ blimp

In contrast to such heavyweights, we have the skinny ones. Yaseru 瘦せる is the verb meaning to lose weight, and from it derives yase-koketa 痩せこけた “to be emaciated”.

Sono yase-koketa otoko wa byōki ni chigai nai.

その痩せこけた男は病気に違いない。

That emaciated man has to be sick.

Hisashiburi ni Abe-san ni atta ga miru kage mo naku yasete ita.

久しぶりに安部さんに会ったが、 見る影もなく痩せていた。

I met Mr. Abe for the first time in a long while. He was a mere shadow of his former self (lit., so thin as not to even have a shadow).

Sō da yo. Hone to kawa bakari sa.

そうだよ。骨と皮ばかりさ。 That’s right. He’s just skin and bones (lit., bones and hide).

Wags who wish to personalize this description can construct such name as:

• Honekawa Sujiko 骨皮筋子 Miss Sujiko

Honekawa (lit., Miss Sinewy Bonehide)

This reminds me of how a friend once depicted such a woman. He said, “Putting your arms around her is like putting your arms around a sack of antlers.”

Such ridicule can be extended to men by using this name:

• Honekawa Sujio 骨皮筋雄 Mr Sinewy Bonehide (The final o お indicates it is a male name, whereas a final ko こ signals a feminine name.)

There is a class of Buddhist ascetics who fast for religious purposes. Like Mahatma Ghandhi, these holy men usually do not have enough excess fat on them to feed a gnat for a day. They are called:

• rakan 羅漢 skin-and-bones Buddhist fanatics (The word was once applied to Buddha’s five hundred disciples who had entered into the state of Nirvana.)

In the last extreme, those fleshless ones become mere:

• ikeru shikabane 生ける屍 living corpses

Men who are not necessarily fat but whose bone structure (hone-gumi 骨組み) is huge can be disparaged with words like these:

• udo うど great awkward oaf

Ō-otoko sōmi ni chie ga mawari-kane

大男総身に知恵が回りかね。 The brain power of a big man does not extend throughout his body.

That is how the proverb translates but it’s easier just to say, “You dumb lout.”

A David next to such a Goliath could be cut down with the following:

• chinchikurin ちんちくりん dwarfish

• kobito 小人 pygmy, runt, shrimp

• issun-bōshi 一寸法師 Tom Thumb (lit., a one-inch monk)

Nani? Ore wa issun-bōshi datte? Kisama wa keshikaran kobito ja nai ka. なに。俺tま一寸法師た って。貴様は怪しからん小人じゃないか。

What? I’m a Tom Thumb? Why, you’re nothing but an insolent runt, aren’t you!

FACE

• nikibi-zura にきび面 pimple-covered face

• chimmurui no kao 珍無類の顔 face that would stop a clock

• umeboshi-gao 梅干顔 prune face

• minikui kao 醜い顔 ugly face

Yukiko no minikui kao wo mita dake de mushizu ga hashiru. 由紀子の醜い顔を見ただけで虫唾が走る。

The mere sight of Yukiko’s ugly face sends chills down my back.

Iinazuke no kao wo mita dake de Tomoe wa muna-kuso ga waruku natta.

許婚の顔を見ただけで友恵は胸糞が悪くなった。

The mere sight of her fiance’s face nauseated Tomoe.

• sukebē 助平 lecherous face

Tarehoho no sukebē na tsuragamae datta.

垂れ頰の助平な面構えだった。

It was a lecherous face with drooping jowls.

Sayuri wa me mo aterarenai kurai hidoi kao desu.

小百合は目も当てられないくらい酷い顔です。

Sayuri’s face is too awful to look at.

The following three words are all used to mean a stupid-looking face:

• baka-zura 馬鹿づら

• ahō-zura 阿呆づら

• manuke-zura 間抜けづら

EYES

• yani-me やに目 rheumy-eyed

• hingara-me ひんがら目 cross-eyed (Suga-me が目 means the same as hingara-me ひんがら目)

• de-me 出目 popeyed lecher

• donguri-manako どんぐり眼 goggle-eyed (donguri どんぐり is acorn; manako 眼 is another word for eyes).

• kirenaga no me 切れ長の目 slit-eyes

• tsuri-me つり目 slant-eyed

• Ron-Pari ロンパリ wall-eyes (lit., London-Paris eyes)

Imagine that you are standing athwart the English Channel and are looking at both the cities simultaneously.

MOUTH

• wani-guchi 鰐口 mouth of a crocodile

• ha-nuke 歯抜け toothless

• deppa 出っ歯 buck-toothed (Soppa 反っ歯 also means buck-toothed or, according to some sources, snaggle-toothed.)

Iki no kusaki wa nushi shirazu.

息の臭きは主知らず。

One is not aware of his own foul breath.

This is a literary expression used to describe someone who is blissfully unaware of his own faults. This is not, however, the case for the unfortunates around him.

NOSE

• kagi-bana 鉤鼻 hook-nosed

• tongari-bana とんがり鼻 pointed nose

• hanatare kozō 痍垂れ小僧 snot-nosed brat

VOICE

• shagare-goe 嗄れ声 hoarse-voiced

FOREHEAD

• dekosuke デコ助 beetle-browed

HAIR

• kebukai 毛深い hairy

• hage-atama 秀げ頭 bald

• ketō 毛唐 hairy barbarian (usually meaning a Westerner)

Kanojo no oppai ni wa kowakute kuroi ke ga haete iru-tte. 彼女のおっぱいには強くて黒い毛が生えているって。

I hear she has coarse black hairs growing out of her tits.

• kedarake 毛だらけ hairy

• paipan パイパン woman with no crotch hair

LEGS

• soto-ashi 外足 knock-knees

• ganimata がに股 bow-legged

ODOR

• tsube-kuso-kusai つべ糞臭い smelling of tsubekuso! つべ糞 (The word tsube-kuso つべ糞 covers a lot of ground. I have heard it used to refer to smegma, crotch cheese, toe jam, and dingle-berries.)

ATTIRE

• buzama na minari 無様な身なり unsightly appearance

• musakurushi minari むさ苦しい身なり shabby attire

RAVAGES OF AGE

• boke-babā/jijī ボケ婆/爺 senile old strumpet

• oni-babā 鬼婆 devilish old harpy, hell-hag

• ha-nuke-babā/jijī 歯抜け婆/爺 toothless old bat

• samehada-babā 鮫肌婆 old woman with coarse-grained skin (lit., shark skin)

• shiwakucha-babā/jijī 皺くちゃ婆/爺 wrinkled old crone

• oibore-babā/jijī 老いぼれ婆/爺 gross and aging hag

• kusottare-babā/jijī 糞ったれ婆/爺 shitty old goat

Note: Substitute jijī for babā when referring to old men.

JUST PLAIN UGLY

• subeta スベタ relentlessly ugly woman, gorgon

• futame to mirarenai 二目と見られない shocking, hideous (lit., can’t look at twice)

• busu ブス homely slattern

• okachimenko おかちめんこ unsightly wench

• akujo 悪女 repulsive female

• bu-otoko ブ男 ugly brute

• hyottoko ひょっとこ ugly person, gargoyle, distorted face mask

Anna hyottoko to kokkon suru nante tondemo-nai ze.

あんなひょっとこと結婚するなんてとんでもないぜ。

The thought of marrying such an ugly person is simply out of the question.

MISCELLANEOUS

Japanese children have a chant that goes: Omaeno kāsan debeso! おまえのかあさんでべそ！ Literally it means, “Your mother has a protruding navel!” It is akin to, “Your mother wears flour-sack drawers (or surplus army boots).” It is not meant as a compliment.

This chant was popularized in 1965 by a comic group called Hana Hajime and the Crazy Cats 八ナ肇とクレイジ一キヤ ッツ。 The full, somewhat incomprehensible chant ran:

Baka. Kaba. Chindon-ya. バカカバチンドン屋。

Fool. Hippo. Street musician.

Omae no kāchan debeso. お前のかあちゃんでべそ。

Your mom’s belly button sticks out.

Omae no tōchan nana-iro debeso.

お前のとうちやん七色でべそ。

Your dad’s belly button has seven colors.

Mimi no ana kara te tsukkonde okuba gata-gata iwasetaru de.

耳の穴から手突っ込んで奥歯ガ夕ガ夕言わせたるで。

I’ll stick a hand in your ear and rattle around your back teeth.

Mendō mikirenē nā. 面倒見切れね〜な〜

I just can’t look after you.