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13

‘Hey Jackson, it’s Coop.’ Exhaustion threatened to overwhelm Cooper, but nothing could stop the strength of his feelings coming through in his voice. And in return he received the same warmth and love back. It felt good.

‘Coop! Hey Coop! Levi told me you were back. Thank God you’re okay. I was worried. I thought… hey, it’s good to hear your voice. I tried to call you at the ranch, got the answer machine… I missed you, man… Anyway, when you coming across?’

Hearing Jackson’s voice gave Cooper the first real sense of relief since he’d been back. And even though he knew it was only a fleeting moment, when he spoke to Jackson it always felt like everything was going to be just fine. Real fine.

‘I’ve got a couple of days off, thought I’d fly over tonight, but I’ve got something I need to do first so I’m not sure what time. I’ve got Cora with me. I know she’d like to see you and I’m trying to make up for being a deadbeat dad.’

‘Well let her know I’m looking forward to seeing her too. You flying yourself?’

‘No, I thought I’d catch the red eye.’

Jackson laughed. ‘Shatters my illusion Coop. You on a red eye. Can’t quite see it, man.’

‘Stranger things have happened Jackson, just you believe it. And besides, I’m tired and I don’t think Maddie would thank me if I flew solo with Cora.’

‘She’s got a point. Which reminds me, Levi told me about you and Maddie. I’m sorry. If there’s anything I can do.’

‘News travels fast,’ said Cooper. ‘But thanks, it’s cool. I guess it’ll sort itself one way or another.’

‘You okay with it?’

‘I dunno.’

‘Which translates into you don’t want to talk about it, right?’

‘You got it in one.’

‘Okay, well, I’ll see you in the morning, and maybe you could try to get here in one piece.’

‘No-one wants that more than me… Oh hey, will your dad be about?’

‘Yeah, I think so. You wanna say hi to him? He’ll be pleased to catch up with you.’

‘Cool. I’ll see you later… and Jackson? I missed you too.’

*

‘You ready, honey?’ Cooper clicked off his cell. Looked back at Cora who was sitting quietly in the back seat, seemingly oblivious to the rental car’s overpowering smell of cheap plastic and X-tra Strength wild cherry which oozed out in menacing waves from the innocuous-looking pink cardboard tree dangling from the driver’s mirror. He said, ‘What you got in your hands, baby?’

‘Mr. Crawley.’

‘Can I see it?’

‘Him, Daddy. Can you see him.’

‘Sorry. Can I see him?’

Cora Cooper raised her eyebrows just like she’d seen her mom do when she was asked something important. She looked at her dad with caution and a deep frown befitting someone far older than her four years.

Thinking hard, she decided there were a lot of things she knew. She knew how to do her math in Mrs. Bradbury’s class without crossing out. She knew how to do her shoelaces, though not on her new red sneakers she got last week; those laces were too long. She also knew really big things… Secrets. Like her mommy sometimes cried at night when she put on her music, and her daddy hid his red and blue and white candy in lots of bottles in the horse barn. Oh yes, she knew all those things and a whole lot more, but she didn’t know this. She didn’t know if she should let her daddy see Mr. Crawley because she didn’t know if Mr. Crawley would want to see her daddy. But then, she always enjoyed being with her daddy, so perhaps Mr. Crawley would.

Cora Cooper gave a long sigh and screwed up her nose and, just to be on the safe side, cupped her hands, brought them close to her face and asked, ‘Mr. Crawley, what do you think?’

‘What did he say?’

‘Sshhhh, Daddy! I can’t hear him…’

‘Sorry.’ Cooper glanced at his watch. Tried not to let impatience show. And hoped to God the clearly deceased Mr. Crawley would make up his mind one way or another. And fast. It was 3.34. Fifteen minutes late. Shit.

‘Well baby? What did he say? Can I see him?’

Cora opened her blue eyes. Wide. Gave Cooper an incredulous stare. ‘I don’t know yet Daddy, he hasn’t told me.’

Cooper rubbed his face. Pinched the bridge of his nose. The smell from the car freshener burning into his nostrils like a bad case of sinusitis. ‘Okay, well listen, honey, maybe you tell Mr. Crawley I’ll see him some other time. I’m meant to be somewhere and if I don’t get there soon, Daddy will be in trouble.’

‘With who?’

‘With a man.’

‘Which man?’

‘With a man who Daddy has to see.’

‘Why?’

‘Why what?’

‘Why do you have to see him?’

‘Has anyone told you, you ask a lot of questions?’

‘That’s what you say to Mommy.’

Cooper smiled and chuckled and laughed. Hard and loud. ‘Cora. I love you. Never forget that.’

‘And Mr. Crawley?’

‘Yeah, and Mr. Crawley.’

‘Daddy?’

‘Yes?

‘Do you think this man wants to see Mr. Crawley?’

‘He probably does. Problem is, honey, I don’t think Mr. Crawley would want to see this man.’