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ОглавлениеGraduation: Grad Speeches & Parents’ Advice
“Well, what can I say? I graduated. It’s over; I did it. I know most of you are saying, ‘Hey, any idiot could do that.’ Well…it was tough for me, so BACK OFF!”
—Billy Madison (Adam Sandler), Billy Madison (1995)
And Billy was right. It is tough. Graduation is a time of celebration and reflection. Boys and girls become men and women. At least, according to the staple American rituals they do. In reality, we never really leave high school, and to our parents (and to ourselves, if we’re being honest), we never really grow up. There are still the politics of who’s sitting where and with whom from lunch shift in the school cafeteria to the break room at the office, though now rumors fly between cubicles instead of desks; and the issue of who is hooking up with whom is still a big deal (to HR, at any rate). But nonetheless, as teenagers we all still have to parade out onto the grass of the high school football stadium and prepare to march in front of our family and peers to collect our diplomas and get the hell out of there to get started in the “real world.”
To put it as mildly as possible, it’s effing difficult to try to encapsulate the entirety of adolescence into a single speech, both for grads and for parents. Sure, Richard Linklater was able to compress one boy’s adolescence into a single feature for Boyhood (2012), but it took him twelve years of filming, a year of editing, and three hours of narrative to do the trick. If you’re lucky, you’ve got five minutes. In order to make a lasting impression on either your classmates or your family, you’re going to need some firepower of the filmic variety.
Grads
Most of adolescent life is being told what to do. That’s part of growing up. Guidance, instruction, and education are the building blocks for your life going forward. Doesn’t mean they all don’t suck while you’re experiencing them. Of course, you still have a lot to learn, but that doesn’t mean you can’t drop some deeply profound wisdom bombs on the unsuspecting crowds gathered before you. You may not have seen any of these films, but when has not studying the material stopped you from completing your assignment?
“All boundaries are conventions, waiting to be transcended. One may transcend any convention if only one can first conceive of doing so.”
—Robert Frobisher (Ben Whishaw), Cloud Atlas (2012)
“Now…bring me that horizon.”
—Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), Pirates of the Caribbean:
Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)*
*Fun Fact: The British metalcore band “Bring Me the Horizon” got their moniker from this quote.
“We just get the one life, you know. Just one. You can’t live someone else’s or think it’s more important just because it’s more dramatic. What happens matters. Maybe only to us, but it matters.”
—Gwen (Tia Leon), Ghost Town (2008)
“I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?”
—The Writer (Richard Dreyfuss), Stand By Me (1986)
“This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time.”
—Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt), Fight Club (2000)
“Life’s a garden: dig it.”
—Joe Dirt (David Spade),
Joe Dirt (2001)
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
—Ferris Bueller
(Matthew Broderick), Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)*
*Alternate Takes: In 1990, a television series adaptation titled Ferris Bueller ran on NBC. Although it was a complete failure that was canceled within months of its premiere, the sitcom did help launch the career of Jennifer Aniston, who played Ferris’ sister Jeannie.
“But only in their dreams can men be truly free. ‘Twas always thus, and always thus will be.”
—John Keating (Robin Williams),
Dead Poets Society (1989)
“Here’s to the fools who dream
Crazy as they may seem
Here’s to the hearts that break
Here’s to the mess we make.”
—Mia (Emma Stone), La La Land (2016)
“Things change. Always do. You’ll get your chance! Important thing is, when it comes, you’ve got to grab with both hands, and hold on tight!”
—Otis (Vernon Washington), The Last Starfighter (1984)
“We really shook the pillars of heaven, didn’t we?”
—Jack Burton (Kurt Russell), Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
“Don’t act like you’re not impressed.”
—Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell),
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)
“Don’t ever let somebody tell you you can’t do something. Not even me. Alright? You got a dream…you gotta protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want something, go get it. Period.”
—Chris Gardner (Will Smith), The Pursuit of Happyness (2006)
“I just wanted to say that you’re all winners. And I could not be happier that this school year’s ending.”
—Mr. Duvall (Tim Meadows), Mean Girls (2004)
“May the odds be ever in your favor.”
—Various Characters,
The Hunger Games (2012)
“Having dreams is what makes life tolerable.”
—Pete (Christopher Reed), Rudy (1993)
“We’re gonna live like we’re telling the best story in the world. Are you ready?”
—Penelope Stamp (Rachel Weisz), The Brothers Bloom (2008)*
*Casting Couch: Actress Rinko Kukuchi says only three words during the entire film. Two years earlier, she played a deaf-mute character in Babel (2006), for which she was nominated for Best Supporting Actress.
“My friends, I address you all tonight as you truly are: wizards, mermaids, travelers, adventurers, magicians. Come and dream with me.”
—Georges Méliès (Ben Kingsley), Hugo (2011)
“Belief, like fear or love, is a force to be understood as we understand the Theory of Relativity and Principles of Uncertainty: phenomena that determine the course of our lives. Yesterday, my life was headed in one direction. Today, it is headed in another. Yesterday I believed that I would never have done what I did today. These forces that often remake time and space, that can shape and alter who we imagine ourselves to be, begin long before we are born and continue after we perish. Our lives and our choices, like quantum trajectories, are understood moment to moment. At each point of intersection, each encounter suggests a new potential direction.”
—Isaac Sachs (Tom Hanks), Cloud Atlas (2012)
“Not everyone can become a great artist. But a great artist can come from anywhere.”
—Anton Ego (Peter O’Toole), Ratatouille (2008)
“If you never do anything, you never become anyone.”
—Jenny Mellor (Carey Mulligan), An Education (2009)
“Witness me!”
—Nux (Nicholas Hoult), Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)*
*Accolades & Accomplishments: Mad Max: Fury Road is the first entry of the decades-old sci-fi series to be nominated for Best Picture. Although it did not win top honors, the film captured the most statues at the 2016 Academy Awards with six awards, including Best Film Editing, Best Production Design, Best Costume Design, Best Makeup and Hairstyling, Best Sound Mixing and Best Sound Editing.
“I learned the greatest gift of all: the saddest thing in life is wasted talent, and the choices that you make will shape your life forever.”
—Calogero ‘C’ Anello (Francis Capra), A Bronx Tale (1993)
“The world is what you make of it, friend. If it doesn’t fit, you make alterations.”
—Stella (Linda Hunt), Silverado (1985)
“Don’t let the haters stop you from doing your thang.”
—Kevin Gnapoor (Rajiv Surendra), Mean Girls (2004)
“To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, to draw closer, to find each other and to feel. That is the purpose of life.”
—Walter Mitty (Ben Stiller),
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013)
“We walk away from our dreams afraid that we may fail, or worse yet, afraid we may succeed.”
—William Forrester (Sean Connery), Finding Forrester (2000)
“Life’s not a spectator sport.”
—Laverne (Mary Wickes), The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)
“I am on my way
I can go the distance
I don’t care how far
Somehow I’ll be strong
I know every mile
Will be worth my while
I would go most anywhere
To find where I belong.”
—Hercules (Robert Bart), Hercules (1997)
“I made it, Mom. I’m a grown up.”
—Jack Powell
(Robin Williams), Jack
“I wasn’t like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut. I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree.”
—Hansel (Owen Wilson), Zoolander (2001)
“You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.”
—Eames (Tom Hardy), Inception (2010)
“I am a leaf on the wind; watch how I soar.”
—Hoban “Wash” Washburne (Alan Tudyk), Serenity (2006)
“Anyone can cook.”
—Chef Gusteau (Brad Garret), Ratatouille (2008)
“Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.”
—Mr. Magorium (Dustin Hoffman), Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium (2007)
“You know, as we come to the end of this phase of our life, we find ourselves trying to remember the good times and trying to forget the bad times, and we find ourselves thinking about the future. We start to worry, thinking, ‘What am I gonna do? Where am I gonna be in ten years?’ But I say to you, ‘Hey, look at me!’ Please, don’t worry so much.”
—Jack Powell (Robin Williams), Jack (1996)
“Life should be lived on the edge of life. You have to exercise rebellion: to refuse to tape yourself to rules, to refuse your own success, to refuse to repeat yourself, to see every day, every year, every idea as a true challenge–and then you are going to live your life on a tightrope.”
—Philippe Petit (as himself), Man on Wire (2008)
Parental Advice & Blessings
You created them. Raised them. Washed them, cared for them, fought for them (and with them), guided them, prayed for them, and dragged them where they needed to be. And now, here they are, getting ready to leave you and join the crushing real world without you. Of course you will continue to support them and offer them guidance from afar, but this is the metaphoric turning point in your relationship. Graduation is the symbolic severing of ties to childhood, so you must offer your “final” advice as part of the ceremony. Send your children out into the world on your terms, and if any of the films referenced below fit with your advice, by all means incorporate them.
“Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.”
—John Keating (Robin Williams), Dead Poets Society (1989)
“Whatever path you decide to take in this life… be true to yourself.”
—Yu Shu Lien (Michelle Yeoh), Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
“There’s nothing wrong with being scared, Norman, so long as you don’t let it change who you are.”
—Grandma (Elaine Stritch), ParaNorman (2012)*
*Inspirational Insight: ParaNorman features the first openly gay character in a mainstream animated film. In the film’s final moments, it is revealed that Mitch, the stereotypical jock, is not interested in cheerleader Courtney because he already has a boyfriend.
“Now don’t you go through life worrying about whether somebody like you or not! You best be making sure that they’re doing right by you!”
—Troy Maxson (Denzel Washington), Fences (2016)
“Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy.”
—Robert Spritzel (Michael Caine), The Weather Man (2005)
“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”
—Benjamin Button (Brad Pitt), The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)
“Always do the right thing.”
—Da Mayor (Ossie Davis),
Do the Right Thing (1989)
“Respect is the ultimate currency.”
—Dalton Russell (Clive Owen), Inside Man (2006)
“That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?”
—John Keating (Robin Williams), Dead Poets Society (1989)
“You are my greatest adventure.”
—Mr. Incredible (Craig T. Nelson), The Incredibles (2004)
“Now if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you want to be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that, and that ain’t you! You’re better than that! I’m always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You’re my son and you’re my blood. You’re the best thing in my life.”
—Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone), Rocky Balboa (2006)*
*Casting Couch: Actor Milo Ventimiglia, who played Rocky’s son Michael in the film, and Sylvester Stallone both have partial facial paralysis that causes them to slur their words. This scene was difficult for both to film, as the cold weather caused their mouths to feel numb and made enunciation extremely difficult.
“Just because you are a character doesn’t mean that you have character.”
—Mr. Wolfe (Harvey Keitel),
Pulp Fiction (1994)
“One day you’ll be cool.”
—Anita Miller (Zooey Deschanel), Almost Famous (2000)
“The more you know who you are and what you want, the less you let things upset you.”
—Bob Harris (Bill Murray), Lost in Translation (2003)
“I don’t care what you believe in, just believe in it.”
—Shepherd Book (Ron Glass), Serenity (2005)
“Just because you can’t understand something doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”
— Arthur (Rickie Sorensen),
The Sword in the Stone (1963)
“Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power, mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love, true love, never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that. Doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in.”
—Hub (Robert Duvall), Secondhand Lions (2003)
“Life does not stop and start at your convenience.”
—Walter Sobchak (John Goodman), The Big Lebowski (1998)
“Hate is baggage. Life’s too short to be pissed off all the time. It’s just not worth it.”
—Danny Vinyard (Edward Furlong), American History X (1998)
“In the end, it is not important what you think. It is only important what you do.”
—The Monster (Liam Neeson), A Monster Calls (2016)
“You are who you choose to be.”
—Hogarth Hughes (Eli Marienthal), The Iron Giant (1999)
“You’ll feel so homesick that you’ll want to die, and there’s nothing you can do about it apart from endure it. But you will, and it won’t kill you. And one day the sun will come out—you might not even notice straight away, it’ll be that faint. And then you’ll catch yourself thinking about something or someone who has no connection with the past. Someone who’s only yours. And you’ll realize…that this is where your life is.”
—Eilis Lacey (Saoirse Ronan), Brooklyn (2015)*
*Accolades & Accomplishments: Brooklyn was adapted for the screen by celebrated best-selling author Nick Hornby. Hornby has written three films to date (An Education, Wild, Brooklyn). All three are adaptations of books written by other authors. All three featured performances by lead actresses who earned Academy Award nominations (Carey Mulligan for An Education, Reese Witherspoon for Wild, Saoirse Ronan for Brooklyn). Two were nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay (An Education, Brooklyn).
“Ah, think of the suffering you’re gonna miss. I mean, high school? High school–those are your prime suffering years. You don’t get better suffering than that.”
—Edwin Hoover (Alan Arkin), Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
“If you’re good at something, never do it for free.”
—The Joker (Heath Ledger),
The Dark Knight (2008)
“There are opportunities in life for gaining knowledge and experience. Sometimes it is necessary to take a risk.”
—Jeffrey Beaumont (Kyle MacLachlan), Blue Velvet (1986)
“I hope that someday you’ll know the indescribable joy of having children, and of paying someone else to raise them.”
—Gomez Addams (Raul Julia), Addams Family Values (1993)
“They don’t make you. You make you.”
—Eggs (Isaac Hempstead Wright), The Boxtrolls (2014)
“Let your heart guide you. It whispers so listen closely.”
—Littlefoot’s Mother (Helen Shaver),
The Land Before Time (1988)
“You left just as you were becoming interesting.”
—Prof. Henry Jones, Sr. (Sean Connery),
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
“You just can’t stay seventeen forever.”
—Steve Bollander (Ron Howard), American Graffiti (1973)*
*Inspirational Insight: American Graffiti was inspired by George Lucas’ youth spent cruising the streets of Modesto, CA. The main “cruising strip” was McHenry Avenue. The youth of Modesto continue the tradition to this day. “Cruising McHenry” is a common phrase used to describe Friday and Saturday nights in the city.
“Well, all I’m saying is that I want to look back and say that I did it the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place.”
—Don Dawson (Sasha Jenson), Dazed and Confused (1993)
“We are who we choose to be. Now…choose!”
—Norman Osbourne/Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe),
Spider-Man (2002)
“Sometimes the world seems against you
The journey may leave a scar
But scars can heal and reveal just
Where you are
The people you love will change you
The things you have learned will guide you
And nothing on earth can silence
The quiet voice still inside you.”
—Gramma Tala (Rachel House), Moana (2016)
“You have to do what you can’t not do.”
—Luisa Rey (Halle Berry),
Cloud Atlas (2012)
“You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet.”
—Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt), Fight Club (1999)
“Hey, you want some good parental advice? Don’t listen to me.”
—Dr. Ian Malcom (Jeff Goldblum),
The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)
“A little nonsense now and then is cherished by the wisest men.”
—Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder), Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)
“Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”
—Van Wilder (Ryan Reynolds), Van Wilder (2002)
“Don’t you want to take a leap of faith? Or become an old man, filled with regret, waiting to die alone!”
—Saito (Ken Watanabe), Inception (2010)
“I never look back, darling! It distracts from the now.”
—Edna Mode (Brad Bird),
The Incredibles (2004)*
*Casting Couch: Writer/Director Brad Bird voiced the costume/weapon master Edna Mode. He originally considered Lily Tomlin for the role, but after demonstrating Edna’s accent, Tomlin convinced him he was the best person for the job.
“You must be imaginative, strong-hearted. You must try things that may not work, and you must not let anyone define your limits because of where you come from. Your only limit is your soul.”
—Chef Gusteau (Brad Garret), Ratatouille (2008)
“I’m sorry I didn’t do none of it right, but I’m damn proud you’re my boy.”
—Yondu (Michael Rooker), Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)
“Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. And ruining [somebody]’s life definitely [doesn’t] make [you] any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.”
—Cady Heron (Lindsay Lohan), Mean Girls (2004)
“The very things that held you down are going to lift you up and up and up!”
—Timothy Q. Mouse (Edward Brophy), Dumbo (1941)
“I was never more certain of how far away I was from my goal than when I was standing right beside it.”
—Vincent Freeman (Ethan Hawke), Gattaca (1997)
“You do what you love, and fuck the rest.”
—Dwayne Hoover (Paul Dano), Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
“At some point, you gotta decide for yourself who you’re going to be. Can’t let nobody make that decision for you.”
—Juan (Mahershala Ali), Moonlight (2016)
“The main thing is, pay attention. Pay close attention to everything, everything you see. Notice what no one else notices, and you’ll know what no one else knows. What you get is what you get. What you do with what you get, that’s more the point.”
—Loris Harrow (Time Robbins), City of Ember (2008)
“Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want.”
—Patrick Verona (Heath Ledger),
10 Things I Hate About You (1999)
“What do we leave behind when we cross each frontier? Each moment seems split in two; melancholy for what was left behind and the excitement of entering a new land.”
—Ernesto "Che" Guevara (Gael Garcia Bernal), The Motorcycle Diaries (2004)
“Now, here’s the meaning of life: Well, it’s nothing very special. Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.”
—Lady Presenter (Michael Palin), Monty Python’s
The Meaning of Life (1983)
Graduation Film Recommendations:
Say Anything (1989) Written and directed by Cameron Crowe. Starring: John Cusack, Ione Sky, and John Mahoney. The high school valedictorian and an outcast fall in love on the last day of school. They spend the summer trying to navigate their uncertain futures as the outside world comes crashing down around them. That boombox scene will make you swoon.
Dazed and Confused (1993) Written and directed by Richard Linklater. Starring: Jason London, Wiley Wiggins, and Matthew McConaughey. A group of juniors celebrate their ascension to seniority on the last day of school in 1976. Hazing, parties, and Ben Affleck ensue. Known for its amazing soundtrack and for McConaughey’s hilarious turn as a town vagabond with nothing to do.
Boyhood (2014) Written and directed by Richard Linklater. Starring: Ellar Coltrane, Patricia Arquette, and Ethan Hawke. Shot over twelve years, Richard Linklater captures the childhood and adolescence of a boy from age six to 18, culminating in his graduation and journey to college. This experimental film goes beyond its gimmick and hits home for parents and children alike.
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) Written and directed by John Hughes. Starring: Matthew Broderick, Alan Ruck, and Mia Sara. Toward the end of his senior year, Ferris Bueller decides to take one final day off from school in epic fashion. An instant classic that reinvigorated the idea of “Senior Ditch Day” around the US.
American Graffiti (1973) Written and directed by George Lucas. Starring: Richard Dreyfuss and Ron Howard. With college mere hours away, two recent high school grads spend the last night of summer cruising the streets of Modesto, CA, circa 1962. Lucas based the film on his own experiences in small-town America and utilized Petaluma, CA, as his filming location.
American Pie (1999) Directed by Chris and Paul Weitz. Written by Adam Herz. Starring: Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, and Sean William Scott. A group of horny teens make a vow to lose their virginity by prom night. Bakery sexcapades ensue. The film was notoriously pitched within the industry under the title, “Teenage Sex Comedy That Can Be Made For Under $10 Million That Your Reader Will Love But The Executive Will Hate.”
