Читать книгу The New Retirement - Jan Cullinane - Страница 37

Are you a planner? Martha H. is. She took care of her grandchildren for about 10 years after leaving her primary career of teaching Environmental Science and running the Science/Math department at a community college. Martha commuted from New Jersey to Boston for several years, staying Monday–Thursday to babysit, and then for several more years she commuted from New Jersey to New York City to take care of her grandchildren from her other daughter. When the kids were older and the weekly babysitting stint was over, travel (deferred for a year because of Covid-19), reading, snowshoeing (at her second home in Colorado), genealogy, and walking are high on Martha's list of things to do – and she makes sure it happens. Family is at the forefront of many retirees' lists of what is important.

On the other hand, my single friend Jean M. lives very much in the moment. She will go on a trip without hotel reservations, embraces each day as it comes, and is willing to drop whatever she's doing and help out family members if they need assistance, including caring for her mother for several years as her mom slowly succumbed to Alzheimer's.

Gordon C. loosely structures his time. He plays occasional golf, some tennis, maintains the house, and is catching up on all the books he wanted to read as a busy professional but never had the time to do so. He also serves on the Board of his community association, and volunteers at a food bank. He and his wife care for their grandchildren at least once a week to give their adult children a break and to enjoy some quality time with the kids. As Gordon likes to say, “I feel youthful when I am useful.”

Teresa G. divorced after a long marriage and a fulfilling career as a counselor, and is now a realtor. She lives in Florida, loves working with and helping people find their ideal place, and immensely enjoys her second career. She finds her counseling background provides many skills she can use in her new role.

These examples of different people with different personalities share this in common: They all have goals they want to accomplish.

For most people goal setting is important. The research shows that people who aren't engaged in purposeful activities are generally not as happy as those who are. Whether you're talking about starting a new business, taking up birding, becoming a mentor, or trying out for a community theater production, it's best to be flexible, try out new things, have a natural curiosity about life, and have at least a general plan for your future.

Make lists! Take the time to think about what you want to accomplish, and write down your goals. If you are part of a couple, set down both individual and joint ideas relating to family, working, travel, health, lifelong learning, volunteering, friends, making a difference, learning a new sport or language, or any other area. Recognize that each person in the relationship has valid needs and wants. Decide which interests you share, and recognize that having time apart for separate interests is also important. Brainstorm all possibilities, then evaluate and prune the unworkable ones.