Читать книгу A Mother For His Children - Jan Drexler - Страница 12

Chapter Three

Levi reached out with one hand to turn off the alarm before it could ring. Four o’clock and time to get up.

He pushed himself to the edge of the half-empty bed with a groan. Nights were short enough when he slept through them, but he had fought to get even a few hours’ sleep last night. Every time he closed his eyes, the sight of that tall, willowy form with the golden braid taunted him. He rubbed his face with both hands and paused with his eyes covered, capturing the vision again before the day’s work stole it from him.

Would it be wrong to think she might welcome his attention?

Levi combed his fingers through his beard. The last time he approached a woman... His face grew hot when he remembered how Ellie Miller, in front of everyone at the barn raising last summer, had refused his request to court her. He should never have mentioned it in the middle of a crowd of onlookers, but Eliza had cornered him that very morning and insisted he either marry or send Nellie and Nancy to live with her in Middlebury. He had been desperate.

He still was. But desperate enough to risk a rejection from his housekeeper?

Making a marriage wasn’t what he had intended when he set out to hire a housekeeper, but then, he also hadn’t intended to hire someone so eligible. He was crazy to think she’d even look at an old man like him.

Or maybe it wasn’t so crazy. A lot of men married girls younger than they were, and made good marriages, too. His own grossdawdi had two wives, marrying his grossmutti only months after his first wife had died in childbirth.

And then he had gone on to have twelve more children with his second wife.

At this thought Levi pushed himself out of bed. He paused to check the weather, pulling up the shade to look through the window at the bright stars and white fields, ghostly gray in the moonlight. His farm, his dat’s farm, his grossdawdi’s farm. The cabin his grossdawdi built in 1845 was just out of sight in the woodlot. But this farm meant nothing compared to his family. He’d do anything to keep them together.

Anything, including keeping Ruth Mummert on as his housekeeper. Would Eliza think her too young and inexperienced to take over the housekeeping? From the way supper went last night, she seemed competent enough.

But could he keep her around, having her become part of the family and a substitute mother for the younger ones? What would the other church members think of such a young woman in his home?

He should send her back to Lancaster County. He could spend ten minutes listing all the reasons why she wasn’t right for the job. She was too young, too outspoken, too bossy....

He let the shade fall back in place and turned to his dresser. Ruth Mummert...what was he going to do with her? He couldn’t let her go home. Not now. He had to make her fit in, become part of the family. A hired hand, a helper. Eliza and everyone else would see how wonderful-gut she was with the children and how well she handled herself in the kitchen.

And when it came right down to it, he didn’t want to send her away.

Picking up his razor, he paused, and then turned to the small chest at the foot of his bed. Salome’s chest. What would she think of Ruth Mummert? They’d get along fine, wouldn’t they? Salome would welcome her as a sister, a helper. He turned back to the mirror, ready to shave his upper lip, when he saw the scowl on his face. Why did he think of Salome at a time like this?

Ach, when didn’t he think of her?

He gave his upper lip a quick shave, the tiny shaving mirror reflecting his tired eyes. Old eyes. Levi swished the razor in the cold water and wiped it on the towel. Turning away from the mirror, he pulled on his work clothes, stretching his suspenders up over his shoulders and padding out of his bedroom.

The big house had been built before Dat was born, and the upper floor had been added to the house several years later to accommodate the growing family. Levi often thought of Grossdawdi in these quiet mornings as he climbed the worn treads of the stairway. His only memory of him was a blurred image, and he was surprised he remembered that much since Dawdi had died while Levi was still in dresses.

He stopped at the first bedroom and knocked on the door frame. “Elias, Nathan, it’s time to get up.” Then crossing the hall, he knocked on the opposite room. “James, David, it’s morning.” He waited until he heard them stirring before heading back down the stairs.

The kitchen was warm even though the fire lay quiet and dormant in the stove. He shook down the ashes and laid kindling on the glowing coals, each movement automatic. He blew the fire to life, fed it with more kindling and then set two split logs on top to keep it going. Waneta would be down soon. She always woke when she heard him in the kitchen.

What would he have done without Waneta when Salome died? Even though she was only fifteen at the time, his oldest daughter had stepped into her mother’s role without hesitation.

There were a few burned biscuits at first, for sure, but she learned quickly. Too quickly. She acted too much like an old married woman at times. He rarely saw her smile as she went about her work, and she was often short-tempered with her brothers and sisters.

Well, with Ruth Mummert here now, Waneta would be able to join the other youth at the Singings and enjoy herself for once. Maybe she’d even notice Reuben Stoltzfus trying to catch her eye at Sunday meetings.

“Mornin’, Dat.” Elias mumbled the greeting, but the other boys were silent as they jostled their sleepy way out to the back porch for their boots and coats. As crisp and clear as the stars were this morning, they’d all be wide-awake and half-frozen by the time they reached the barn.

Levi glanced at the Dawdi Haus door as he followed the boys. It was just an accident that he had seen Ruth in her night clothes. It was a mistake, nothing more, and he’d make sure it was never repeated.

* * *

Ruthy stood at the door of the Dawdi Haus.

“It was just a mistake. A terrible, horrible mistake.” For the third time since she had woken up, she repeated the words to herself, but she still didn’t want to touch the doorknob.

The look on Levi Zook’s face the night before made her cheeks burn. He had been amused by her shameful appearance, without her kapp or even stockings. Every time she looked at him she would remember those brown eyes and the laughing crinkles around them. She could kick herself for being so careless.

But how could she face him—how could she face the children after this?

She must. Somehow she must go back into the kitchen. She had heard Levi go out to do chores, so this was her chance to do her work without him around. By the time he got back from choring, the rest of the children would be awake and she wouldn’t have to face him alone.

Checking her kapp and smoothing her apron, she took a deep breath and then forced herself to open the door, pass through the short hall between the houses and walk into the kitchen. As she lit the kerosene lamp, she looked for the mess she had left behind when she fled the kitchen last night, but there was no sign of it. The sourdough sponge rested in its bowl under a clean towel, the counter was wiped clean and even the wooden spoon she had used was washed and put away.

She leaned her hands on the counter, ashamed and mortified. Levi had to have been the one to clean up after her. What must he think of her? Not only had she paraded in front of him dressed only in her nightgown, but she had also left her work for him to finish. She wouldn’t be surprised if he sent her back to Lancaster County that morning.

Never mind. Even if her first day was her last one, she had work to do. It was four-thirty already and the men would be hungry when they came in from choring.

Putting more wood in the stove, Ruthy turned the sourdough onto the bread board and started kneading it, adding flour as she worked. She went through the breakfast menu in her mind. What did this family eat? Eggs, potatoes and biscuits were what Mam would be fixing this morning, and Waneta had mentioned sausage last night. She’d make just that.

As she started the sausage frying, the children started showing up one by one and the predawn quiet was broken. Waneta and Martha said soft “good mornings” as they tied on their aprons, Martha throwing on a shawl to go out to the chickens.

“Dat likes oatmeal with breakfast. Did you start any?” Waneta asked as she started peeling potatoes with quick efficiency.

“Ach, ne, I didn’t, but it’s too late now. I should have started it last night.”

“Don’t worry. Dat bought this quick-cooking kind. It only takes one minute.”

Ruthy took the round box of instant oatmeal from the shelf and read the cooking directions. Only one minute? It would probably end up tasting like wallpaper paste. Real oats were going on her shopping list. She measured the oat flakes and water into a pan and set it on the hot stove.

When Martha returned with a pail full of eggs, Waneta started breaking them into a large bowl to scramble. Ruthy put the sausage patties on a plate in the oven to keep them warm and turned the peeled and sliced potatoes into the frying pan. Her stomach growled as the wet potatoes hit the hot grease with a burst of hearty fragrance.

“When Mam was here, we’d have pie for breakfast,” Martha said as she leaned toward the stove and inhaled the scent of the frying potatoes.

“Well, Mam isn’t here, is she?” Waneta grunted as she beat the eggs. She must have broken three dozen into the bowl. “I have enough to do without making pies, too.”

“I’d make them if I knew how,” Martha said as she got a dozen plates from the cupboard.

“I’ll teach you,” Ruthy said as she mixed biscuit dough. “What kind of pie is your favorite?”

“Anything. Apple, sugar cream, peach...”

“Do you like shoofly?”

Martha gave Ruthy a puzzled look. “Shoofly? I’ve never heard of it.”

“I have,” Waneta said as she poured the beaten eggs into another pan. “Grossmutti said she ate it when she was a girl in Lancaster County, but she never had the recipe.”

“I have a recipe for it. It’s my mam’s favorite. We can make one this afternoon and have it for supper.” Ruthy slid the pan of biscuits into the hot oven and then turned the potatoes one more time. She moved the pan to the back of the stove. They were done perfectly.

“Martha,” Waneta said, “make sure the little ones are up. Breakfast is almost ready.” She stirred the eggs one more time, and then moved the pan of oatmeal away from the heat.

“Let’s see,” Ruthy said, “we have sausage, eggs, potatoes, oatmeal, biscuits, canned peaches... Is that everything?”

“You made the coffee, didn’t you?” Waneta looked up from stirring the eggs, her eyes wide.

“Coffee! How could I forget?”

Waneta shook her head and reached past her for the coffeepot. “Dat’s a bear without his coffee in the morning.”

Just what she needed, a bear.

The girls came into the kitchen, sleepy-eyed but dressed. Ruthy had them finish setting the table, then she glanced out the window and saw Levi and the older boys heading toward the house from the barn.

Waneta saw them, too. “Martha! Dat’s coming!” She directed her voice toward the stovepipe, and then saw Ruthy staring at her. “The stovepipe goes right up through the little boys’ room. She’s there getting them out of bed.”

Somehow, with Waneta and Martha’s help, breakfast was on the table before Levi Zook and the older boys finished taking off their boots and washing up on the back porch. The younger children slid into their seats, and the family took their places around the table. Ruthy didn’t look at Levi, but kept busy helping Sam sit straight on his end of the bench.

Silence fell, compelling Ruthy to risk looking at the stony face at the other end of the table. Waneta was right, he could be a bear in the morning. Last night forgotten, she stared back at him.

“Is there something you need, Levi Zook?”

“What happened to the coffee?”

Ruthy’s knees shook beneath the table. How dare he! Her first morning in a new kitchen, breakfast on the table on time, the children all awake and dressed and he questions her about coffee?

The coffeepot gurgling on the stove was the only sound as she kept her eyes locked on his.

“Your coffee will be ready after we thank the Father in heaven for our food.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Ruthy saw Nellie look from her to her father, and back again. Jesse stared at her with an open mouth, and Nancy giggled.

David broke the stony silence. “Dat, can we eat now?”

Levi Zook didn’t answer, but lowered his head as a signal for the silent prayer. Ruthy closed her eyes, but her mind wasn’t on the food before them.

“Dear God, help me survive this day.”

* * *

Levi cast about in his mind for words to pray. Any words would do, but they were nowhere to be found. Making do with a quick Denki for this food, Levi raised his head and lifted his spoon. Every morning since his marriage the clink of his spoon in his coffee cup was the signal for his family to begin eating, but without a coffee cup he made do with a sharp rap against the edge of his plate.

Taking the platter of sausage, he shoveled four or five patties onto his plate, and then passed them to Waneta at the same time Elias passed the bowl of scrambled eggs to him. When Elias handed him an empty bowl with oatmeal clinging to the sides he looked at Waneta.

“Ja, for sure, Dat, there’s more on the stove to take up.”

She turned to get it, but Ruth took the empty bowl from Levi’s hands.

“You sit and eat. I’ll fill the bowl and get the coffee at the same time.”

Under the tantalizing breakfast smells of sausage and potatoes, Levi caught the scent of clean laundry as she turned from him to the stove. The slight nudge sent his memory whirling back to the night before, when this same woman stood in the shadowy kitchen in her long white nightgown.

“Dat,” Elias said, bumping his arm with the bowl, “take the potatoes.”

Levi took the bowl and passed it on to Waneta, his appetite gone. He picked up his fork, hesitating, watching both benches full of children’s heads down, focused on their meal.

“Here you are, Levi Zook.” She was at his left elbow, setting his coffee cup by his plate and handing him the dish of oatmeal.

He took it without a glance at her and spooned some into his waiting bowl. Perhaps if he didn’t look at her, didn’t speak to her, she would take her place as a welcome employee. Think of her as someone helping out on the farm. Think of her as a sister.

She sat at the end of the table again and leaned over to help Jesse cut his sausage patties, her golden hair, framed by her heart-shaped kapp, shone in the lamplight. He focused on his plate, shoveling tasteless food into his mouth. Even if he wasn’t hungry now, it was many hours before dinnertime.

His plate finally empty, he downed his coffee in three swallows, shuddering as the bitter drink poured down his throat. He had forgotten the cream and sugar, but it was too late to add it now. He wiped his beard with his napkin as he stood.

“Elias, I’m going to get started on the repairs for the plow. You come out when you’re done.”

“Ja, Dat,” Elias answered, “I’ll be out soon.”

“Dat,” Waneta asked, “what about your second cup of coffee?”

Levi kept his eyes on his shirt front as he brushed off crumbs that weren’t there. Anything to keep his eyes from straying to the other end of the table.

“I’ll have it later. Maybe you can bring it out to the barn, ja?” He patted her cheek and escaped to the back porch.

He sat on the bench, lacing his boots, the cold pressing him even in the sheltered area. Voices came to him through the door as the children finished their breakfasts. He leaned back against the wall, one boot in his hand, forgotten, as he listened. The words were indistinct, but one voice floated above the others in calm, even tones. Even as old as Waneta was, she didn’t have the gentle, womanly influence Ruth had brought into their home.

Levi thrust his foot into the well-worn leather of his second boot. It looked like bringing Ruth Mummert here was going to turn out to be just what his family needed.

* * *

The next Monday brought the beginning of the new school term. Once breakfast was finished, the children raced to get ready on time. Ruthy started clearing the table, but Waneta stopped her.

“Would you mind braiding the girls? I hate doing it, and they never look good for school.”

“Ja, sure I will.”

Braid the girls? As she went up the stairs to find the twins’ room, Ruthy’s mind flew back to when she and Laurette would braid each other’s hair after playing too wildly in the school yard. Laurette’s hair was so dark it was almost black, while Ruthy’s was blond with a stubborn curl to it. She had loved to twist and braid Laurette’s smooth hair.

But she didn’t have any time to brood over memories as she quickly tamed Nancy’s and Nellie’s tousled brown hair and braided them with deft hands ready to fit their kapps on. When she was done, Nellie and Nancy looked at each other, then to Ruthy, Nellie almost in tears.

“You didn’t do it right,” Nancy said.

Ruthy looked at the two girls, their silken hair twisted neatly away from their faces and two braids falling down their backs. “What do you mean?”

Nancy pointed to the side of Nellie’s face. “You twisted it. The girls will say that’s fancy. You have to do it right.”

Martha looked in the door. “Come, girls. It’s time to go.” She stepped into the room, staring at them. “What have you done to your hair?”

“I braided it the way I would have done at home,” Ruthy said. “I guess the style is different here.”

“Ja, if they went to school like this they’d be teased to no end.” Martha sat down on the bed and started undoing Nancy’s braid. “Here, you watch me, and then you’ll know how we do it.”

Ruthy watched as Martha’s fingers sped through Nancy’s hair. It wasn’t hard at all, just one more difference between home and this strange place. She finished braiding Nellie in time for them all to meet the school bus at the end of the lane.

After the scholars had left, Ruthy picked up a towel as Waneta shaved soap flakes into the dish pan.

“After we do our morning work, we need to get started on the laundry.” Ruthy filled a second dishpan with hot water from the stove’s reservoir. “You’ll have to show me how you do it.”

“It’s going to take all day.” Waneta’s voice was resigned.

Irritation at Levi Zook rose before Ruthy squelched it down. This girl had been carrying the full burden of running this house far too long, but now she could have some help.

“It will go twice as fast with two of us working, ja?”

“Ja.” Waneta’s voice sounded a little brighter with that thought. “And then what job gets done tomorrow?”

“My mam has a job for each day of the week, and all the work gets done in its own time. Tomorrow we’ll iron the clothes, Wednesday will be for mending. Thursday we’ll do the baking, Friday the marketing if we go to town, and Saturday, when all the scholars are at home, we’ll do the cleaning.”

“That sounds like what my mam did before she got sick. I remember cleaning the house every Saturday.”

“Was your mam ill for a long time before she passed on?” Ruthy hated to ask, but she was curious about this woman who had been Levi Zook’s wife and the mother to all these children.

“Ja, the illness started even before Sam came.” Waneta stared at the cooling dishwater, her hands resting on the edge of the pan. “There were lots of days she never got out of bed. After the baby came she just stayed there until she...”

“How old were you when Sam was born? Eleven?”

Waneta nodded, and then reached for the next stack of dishes. “I tried, but I could never keep house as well as Mam had before she got sick.”

“And your dat has never remarried?”

Waneta gave Ruthy a shaky smile. “Would you marry a man with ten children?”

“Why not? Children are a blessing.”

“Not everyone thinks so. Dat thought Ellie Miller would make a good mam for us, since she was a widow herself and her little ones needed a dat, but she married Bram Lapp last fall.”

“Maybe she just didn’t think it was God’s will.”

Waneta shook her head. “I’ve watched her with Bram, and I can tell they really love each other. She didn’t love Dat, that’s why she didn’t marry him. I’ve always wondered if she would have learned to love him if it hadn’t been for us children.”

Ruthy dried the next plate and stacked it with the others. Did love make any difference when it came to marriage? She had loved Elam, hadn’t she? But now that marriage would never happen.

Ne, love had nothing to do with it. Marriage was all about making promises and believing both you and your husband could keep them.

Ruthy picked a handful of spoons out of the rinse water and dried them one by one, dropping each one into the silverware drawer.

She had thought she could trust Elam, but his word hadn’t meant anything. She dropped the last spoon and closed the drawer with a shove.

Perhaps being a maidle wasn’t such a bad thing after all.