Читать книгу Modern Romance December 2019 Books 5-8 - Jane Porter - Страница 19

DIOS! EACH TIME he saw her he wanted to do a lot more than kiss her. When he’d found her in the snow his world had tilted on its axis. The thought of losing her was insupportable.

‘Lucas?’

‘What?’ Her voice held a concerned note that made him feel bad for locking her out. If there was one person who could undo him it was Stacey, and those memories were better where they were, buried deep. Easing back on the sofa, he spread his arms across the back in an attitude of apparent unconcern.

‘You looked so tense,’ she remarked, frowning. ‘You were actually scowling—not that I haven’t seen that expression before. Is something wrong?’

Yes, you’re wrong, he thought. He should be looking to settle down and start a dynasty to perpetuate Da Silva Inc, but when that time came he’d choose a woman bred for the role, someone sparkling and superficial who he couldn’t hurt.

‘I’m hungry,’ he said with a shrug. ‘And you know what I’m like when I’m hungry.’

‘Bear? Sore head?’ she suggested. And then, without warning, she sprang off the sofa. ‘Come on, then…’ She held out her hand to take his. ‘Let’s eat. I’ll get no sense out of you until we do.’

He stood, but he didn’t make any attempt to hold her outstretched hand. Any contact between them was dangerous. He’d learned there was no such thing as an innocent kiss between him and Stacey, and she deserved a lot more than he could offer.

It was a relief to find himself at the breakfast bar where he could occupy himself with the business of eating rather than dwell on the prospect of sex with Stacey. She helped by chatting about details for the upcoming party, but every now and then she’d look at him with eyes full of compassion, and that wasn’t very helpful. She was waiting for him to confide in her, tell her things he’d never told anyone, things he hadn’t even confronted himself. Neither of them made any reference to their recent kiss, though, while she might have found it easy to put that behind her, he still brooded on it.

Eventually she sighed, as if she’d given up on him. ‘Sorry, but I have to get some sleep,’ she said, standing up to go. ‘You’ve been amazing. You saved my life.’ And before he knew what she was doing, she leaned forward to brush a kiss against his cheek. It was such a little thing, but long-hidden feelings squirmed inside him. No one kissed him like that. No one had for a long time.

‘Okay, goodnight,’ she said. ‘Try and get some sleep.’

‘You too,’ he encouraged. Before I yank you close and kiss the breath out of your body. ‘You’ve had quite an ordeal today.’

‘Not as bad as the cat,’ she said dryly.

‘Ah, the cat,’ he murmured, remembering how tender she’d been with the animal. That memory dredged up more. His parents, his siblings. It was definitely time for Stacey to go. Carrying their plates to the counter, he kept his back turned. ‘We both need sleep,’ he agreed, but more sharply than he had intended. He felt bad for snapping, but memories were dangerous things. His were better left undisturbed.

When her footsteps faded, he stood in the great room surveying what he could see of the village. Snow had stopped falling, though it had left everything cloaked in white. His best guess was that they would be cut off from the village for a few days. A lot could happen in that time. Yes, a party could be held, and guests entertained. Anything beyond that he would put from his mind.

Rest? Rest was unlikely with Stacey in the next room. If the hotels hadn’t been full he’d have shipped her out, but they were where they were. He’d be shovelling snow in the morning, too busy to think of anything else, he reassured himself. Then he would liaise with his people to make sure they had everything covered for the party. The last he’d heard there were no more supplies getting through to the village. He could only be glad Stacey was so well organised.

Stacey…

There she was again. Each time he thought it was possible to stop thinking about her, she invaded his mind. He just had to face facts. The woman she had become was not simply more of a challenge than the tomboy she used to be, but a damn sight more attractive too.

Stacey’s usual upbeat mood was flagging as she flopped into bed. Why would Lucas never open up? Instinct told her he’d never move on until he did. And though building a monstrous business was huge credit to him, where was his personal life? Did he have one? Didn’t he want one? Or wasn’t he capable of building something requiring feelings and giving his all, and risking his heart?

You’re a fine one to talk.

Yup. That was a fair accusation. But this was about Lucas, not about Stacey.

Even with all the complications, she loved being with him. The rescue spoke volumes about him. He was a very special individual, and their relationship, such as it was, was very special to her. Sex had been extraordinary; far more pleasure, and infinitely more emotional investment than she had expected.

She smiled, remembering the moment they’d found the cat. Cradling the small, half-frozen animal had woken her heart. Maybe she should get a cat. However fabulous this accommodation and however successful her life, it didn’t make up for the stark fact that she was alone.

So change things.

Change things? Her mouth tilted at a disbelieving angle as her inner voice had its say. It wasn’t that easy to change things, as proved by the fact that it was midnight and she was out of bed pacing the room. She glanced at the huge, comfortable bed. There was nothing wrong with it, it was just too big for one person.

Luc’s room was only a little way down the corridor.

That’s a crazy idea, her sensible self warned.

Crazy or not, he had to get things off his chest.

Pardon me if I stay out of the way when he shoots you down in flames.

When you cared about someone that was a chance you had to take.

She smiled as she glanced at the door…the door she’d left a little bit open, as if Luc would take that sort of hint! He was far too worldly-wise to fall for her clumsy ruses these days. If he did notice her door was open, he’d close it as he walked past. Bottom line. If she didn’t do something, nothing would change. Reviewing occasions of being proactive in the past, she could only conclude they’d all worked out well. There was no rule that said she had to wait around for things to happen, and she had no intention of revisiting that wallflower on the bench. It was time the wallflower took matters into her own hands. And there was no time like the present.

Sucking in a deep, steadying breath, she tiptoed out of the room. Padding down the corridor, as she had expected she found Luc’s door firmly closed. Turning the handle carefully, she opened the door without a noise. Cautiously peering in, she was rewarded by the sight of Lucas sprawled face down on the bed in all his naked splendour. She took a moment to admire him as she might admire a sculpture in a gallery. Built on a heroic scale, he was a magnificent sight.

She curbed a smile at the thought that her crazy plan was to slip into bed beside him. And when he woke they’d have a chat? Fantasies like that were dangerous. But how she longed for him…longed to feel his arms around her, and to make love quietly, deeply, tenderly—

In practical terms, there were two things wrong with that plan. She hadn’t expected to find him naked or in full starfish position, so there wasn’t an inch of bed to be had.

‘Just leave, will you?’

She yelped with shock at the sound of his voice. ‘I thought you were asleep.’

‘Clearly not.’ He shifted position, muscles rippling, but he kept his head turned away from her. ‘I mean it, Stacey. Please leave. Now.’

She remained frozen in place by the door, trying to decide how best to rejig her plan. Slipping into bed beside him without waking him until they yawned, stretched, and reached for each other in the morning, according to the natural flow of things, clearly wasn’t possible now.

Surprisingly, coming to a decision proved easier to navigate than she’d thought.

He’d heard her padding down the corridor, and was already on full alert when she entered the room. Having suspected something like this might happen, he hadn’t even tried to sleep. She usually did as he asked in the end. That was his only comfort. Would she this time?

‘I’m serious, Stacey. Say what you’ve got to say and then leave.’

In the shadows of the darkened room he couldn’t see her expression clearly, and she remained silent, which forced him to prompt, ‘Whatever it is you’ve got to say, just spit it out and go.’

‘Make me.’

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘I’m not going anywhere unless you make me,’ she said again.

‘That’s ridiculous.’

In the ghostly light her shoulders lifted and fell again. ‘Ridiculous or not, I’m not going anywhere.’

‘Until I eject you by force?’

‘That’s up to you.’

‘This is wrong, Stacey. What happened between us in Barcelona was a mistake—’

‘A mistake?’ she interrupted in a voice full of raw wounds from the past. ‘Is that what you think of me?’

‘No,’ he bit out. ‘It’s just that you don’t belong here. I don’t have anything to offer you, other than in a business sense, so please don’t make this harder than it has to be.’

Undaunted, she walked towards the bed. Her face was rigid and pale. But then, just as he should have expected, she firmed her jaw to confront him head-on. ‘Isn’t that for me to decide?’ she asked. ‘I know what I want, and I’m fully aware of what I’m doing.’

‘You think you are,’ he argued. ‘But really, you’ve got no idea.’

‘About you? I’d like to know you better, but you don’t show yourself to anyone, do you, Luc? At least, I know some part of you,’ she conceded, ‘but that’s only the part you’ve had the courage to show.’

‘You’re calling me a coward now?’

‘I’m saying we’re not so different. I don’t find it any easier than you to show my feelings.’

‘So you thought if we made love again it would all sort itself out?’

‘I’m not that naïve. Pain that’s taken years to build won’t vanish with the first orgasm.’

Burying his hands in his hair, he said nothing.

‘But if I’ve learned one thing, it’s this,’ she went on. ‘If I want something, I know it won’t fall into my lap. I have to get out there and make things happen.’

He raised his head. ‘And that’s what you’re doing now?’

She smiled and shrugged.

‘You’re an intelligent and successful woman who has proved herself ten times over, which is exactly why you don’t need me. There’s no space for you in my life.’

‘Nor you in mine,’ she agreed. ‘So must that consign us both to solitude for ever?’

What she was suggesting appeared to be a relationship of convenience, into which they would dip in and out as it suited them. Normally, he might applaud that sort of thing, but when Stacey was involved, the idea appalled him. He would not agree to flirting with her feelings. She’d get hurt.

Wouldn’t he too?

So what? He doubted he was capable of feeling anything.

‘Think what you like, but my answer’s still no. I won’t do anything to stop you moving forward.’

‘Nice speech, but I’ll stay here all night if I have to.’

‘Please yourself,’ he said, turning over in bed.

She didn’t move.

‘Go to bed, Stacey, before you get in any deeper.’

‘But I want to be in deep. I want to experience life to the full. I want to feel. I don’t want to be an onlooker. That only makes the ache inside me worse.’

‘Oh, for goodness’ sake!’ Shooting up in bed, he glared at her.

She shrugged and smiled. ‘There you are,’ she whispered. ‘Now, can I thank you for finding me?’

‘You already did.’

‘I don’t mean when I was lost in the snow.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Can I explain?’ Before he could answer she was sitting on the bed. ‘I just want to talk.’

Dipping his head, he gave her a disbelieving look. ‘We can talk in the morning.’

‘I don’t want to wait that long.’

‘Okay, so what do you want?’

‘I want to have sex with you.’

His body responded immediately. ‘Be very careful,’ he warned.

‘Why? Will you pounce on me?’

Swinging out of bed, he grabbed his jeans. ‘Does this answer your question?’

‘If you go you’ll regret it.’

‘I’ll regret it if I don’t go,’ he assured her.

‘Then, I guess it’s up to me to stop you.’

‘I’d like to see you try.’

Slipping off the bed, she knelt in front of him. ‘Oh, I’m going to try all right,’ she assured him.

Before he had the chance to stop her she drew her tee shirt over her head, revealing lush breasts. He could still remember the scent of them, and the taste of her skin. Her nipples were erect, and he grew harder in response. He didn’t push her away; instead, he dragged her close. The ache, the need, the pain inside him could no longer be sustained.

‘What the hell do you think you’re doing now?’ he asked sharply, throwing his head back to drag in some much-needed air as she made her intentions clear.

‘Pleasuring you,’ she informed him. ‘Stay still, or I’ll bite.’

Dios! What? The kitten had become a tigress. Lacing his fingers through her hair, he kept her close. A groan of pleasure escaped him. He needed this, needed Stacey, and she knew exactly what to do. Using her tongue, her teeth, and her lips, she made sure the outcome was inevitable. ‘No!’ he exclaimed at the very last minute. Control was everything. Here, in dodging the questions she asked him, in business, in everything. Fisting his erection, he pulled back.

Her eyes were wide and bewildered as she stared up at him. ‘Did I do something wrong?’

‘You did nothing wrong. This is wrong. We’re wrong. This just cannot be.’

‘Who says? We’re not related. You’re not very much older than I am. Is it because I’m not rich, not good enough for you? Or are you frightened of my brother?’

‘Your brother?’ He shook his head and smiled. ‘As for you not being good enough—’

‘Don’t bother,’ she said, putting a crack in the stone wall of his heart as she stumbled to her feet. ‘I don’t want to hear your excuses. I don’t have the patience to stick around while you find yourself.’

‘Says you?’ Grabbing her by the shoulders, he brought her to her feet in front of him. ‘Don’t you understand? I just can’t think of you this way.’

‘Still lying to yourself?’ she countered tensely. ‘Still hiding your feelings, Lucas? Is that why you’ve got an erection? We’re both consenting adults, and however determined you are to banish emotion from your life, you can’t hide that.’

‘Don’t make this harder than it has to be.’ He stared pointedly at the door, but she refused to take the hint, and instead made a cradle of her hands to offer her breasts like a gift. This cut straight through his desire to protect her from him, and made him see the sensual woman he’d made love to in Barcelona. As if that weren’t enough, she dipped down to capture his straining erection between her luscious curves.

‘You like that, don’t you?’ she whispered. ‘You don’t want me to go now…’

As she began to move rhythmically to and fro, her question was redundant. Eventually, he managed to grind out, ‘This does not mean I will allow you to seduce me.’

‘Allow?’ she said, angling her chin to one side as she stared up at him. ‘I’d say you don’t have any choice. Unless I decide otherwise, of course…’