Читать книгу Modern Romance December 2019 Books 5-8 - Jane Porter - Страница 22

THEY MET UP in the great room, having taken a shower after their marathon snow-shovelling endeavours. ‘You look great,’ Luc told her with a wicked smile. ‘Exercise suits you.’

‘You too,’ she said a little distractedly, though Luc had never looked better than he did right now. Barefoot in a pair of old jeans, unshaven with his thick, wavy hair damp and clinging to his stubble, powerful torso clad in a faded tee shirt that had definitely seen better days, he could play the role of gypsy king to perfection. A very handsome, rugged, and extremely virile gypsy king, she amended as their stares clashed and locked.

‘You’ve changed,’ he said, frowning.

‘For the better, I hope?’

‘Hmm. I can’t quite put my finger on it.’

But she could. He was right saying she’d changed. She’d changed more than he knew. She was late and she was never late. And there was more evidence that she might be pregnant, though this was something that other people might find hard to believe. Call it instinct, but she felt very different in a deep and fundamental way. She was as sure as she could be that she was no longer alone in her body, but was the nurturing home of a new young life. Her heart had expanded to embrace this new love, though where she went from here remained a mystery. She could only be confident about one thing, and that was that she would approach everything as she always did, head-on. She didn’t sit on those thoughts, but came straight out with them. ‘What if I seem different to you because I’m pregnant?’

Lucas stilled. ‘I’m sorry? What did you say?’

‘What if I’m pregnant?’ she repeated. ‘What if I’m having your baby?’

‘That isn’t possible.’ Luc shook his head confidently. ‘I made sure of it.’

‘No one can make absolutely sure of that, not even you, Luc.’

‘All right,’ he conceded grudgingly. ‘So how can you be absolutely sure that you are pregnant without undergoing the usual tests?’

‘I’m as sure as I can be. It can happen the first time you make love.’

Luc frowned. ‘Barcelona?’

‘Almost a month ago,’ she confirmed.

Thoughts flickered fast behind his eyes, and she was sure those thoughts said that a child didn’t figure on Luc’s agenda. He didn’t even think of her long-term, let alone a child. So? So she’d manage on her own. She’d done it before and she’d do it again. She wouldn’t be the only single mother in the world. And one thing was certain, no baby of hers would suffer rejection as she had. It would be loved unconditionally. A career and motherhood were compatible. It would take some organising, but she was good at that—

‘Stacey? You do know we can’t leave this here?’

‘Of course I do.’

‘Then…?’

‘May I make a suggestion?’

‘Of course.’

They had both turned stiff and businesslike. Pushing away regret and every other emotion, she concentrated on the facts. ‘Let’s wait until we’re no longer snowbound and I can have a test. Then get the party out of the way before we discuss the particulars.’

‘The particulars?’ Lucas drew his head back with surprise. ‘We are still talking about a child?’

Stacey’s face flamed red. Of course they were. The expression in Luc’s eyes shamed her. It was that of a man who had only ever known love from his parents, and who couldn’t fathom Stacey’s deeply held fear. Not having known her own mother, she worried that she might know nothing about mothering and mess up. It wouldn’t be for want of trying. Now the seed of suspicion was planted in her brain, she wanted to be pregnant, already loved the thought of a child with all her heart.

‘We’re discussing the most precious gift in the world,’ she stated firmly. Whatever else he thought of her, she couldn’t bear to have Luc think she took after her father.

‘Come here,’ he murmured.

She hesitated, knowing that with each show of affection it was harder to accept that they couldn’t do this together. Luc had no reason to change his life. Just as she wouldn’t be the first single mother, he wouldn’t be the first man with a love child, but that didn’t mean they would become a family.

But she did go to him. And they did kiss. Enveloping her in a tender bear hug as if she were suddenly made of rice paper, he whispered against her hair, ‘I shouldn’t have let you dig the snow.’

She gazed up. ‘I might be pregnant, but I’m not sick, and I’d like to have seen you stop me.’

‘Still,’ he said in a serious tone, pulling back to stare into her face. ‘Take it easy from now on until you know.’

When people cared for her it brought tears to her eyes. Having Luc care for her was catastrophic, and these were tears she could do without, so she turned away before he’d seen them, in case he thought her weak.

‘I’ve not finished with you yet,’ he murmured.

The tone of his voice made her look at him. He pulled her close. Their mouths collided. They kissed as if tomorrow would never come.

Luc took some time for reflection alone in his study while Maria prepared a light lunch for him and Stacey. His experience of family life had been positive until the accident, when he had vowed never to risk his heart again. The pain of losing his parents had been indescribable. It still was. The wound cut deep and he had thought himself incapable of loving again.

A child changed everything.

Now he’d have to risk his heart. Anticipation and dread fought inside him at the thought. Where was he supposed to find time in his busy schedule for a child? Would he be any use as a father? He’d been lucky enough to have brilliant parents. Love had been in full supply, though their grasp of life and economics had been sadly lacking, as he had discovered when he took over the responsibility of running the family home. These days he could mastermind the biggest deals, and buy anything he wanted, but he still remembered the restrictions placed on him when he was caring for his brothers and sisters. It was a responsibility he’d taken on gladly, but he couldn’t deny it was a relief when they were old enough to make their own way in life. Of course, they didn’t know yet if Stacey was pregnant, but if she was, with her background, she’d need support too. He’d make time, Luc concluded.

First things first. For Stacey’s peace of mind, he had to get her down to the village where she could take a pregnancy test, see a doctor, and get up to speed with the arrangements for the party. She’d start climbing the walls if she couldn’t do that soon. With transport to the village suspended there was only one way to get her down safely, and he was confident he could do it. He wouldn’t take risks with Stacey. The thought of anything happening to her—

Nothing would happen to her. He must put the past behind him. There were more important things to consider. His parents’ death had been a tragic accident. That was what the police had told him afterwards, and only he knew the truth. Nothing Stacey could say or do would deter him from caring for her. And, if she proved to be pregnant, caring for their child. It was a surprise, but a good surprise, he reflected with a smile. They had certainly put enough work into it! He’d taken precautions, but precautions were never guaranteed one hundred per cent. So his duty now was to take care of her…and, quite incredibly, but undeniably possible, his unborn child. Whatever else happened from here on in he was determined that their baby, if there proved to be one, would know the loving upbringing he’d had, and not the tragically lonely home life that Stacey had known.

Decision made, he called Maria on the house phone. ‘Hold lunch. I’m going to ski down to the village to check on the arrangements for the party.’

‘Will Señorita Winner stay here?’

‘Señorita Winner is coming with me.’

‘No way!’ Stacey exclaimed when Luc told her what he planned. ‘Are you kidding me?’

‘Don’t you trust me?’

‘You know I do.’

‘But…?’ he prompted.

‘But if I’m pregnant…’

‘You’re not sick, as you put it,’ he reminded her, ‘and there’s a smaller risk of having an accident if I take you back to the village, than if I leave you to your own devices up here. The frustration of not knowing where the plans are for the party will kill you…if the roof doesn’t cave in from the weight of snow first.’

She glanced up to the exposed rafters with concern. ‘Is there a danger of that?’

‘No,’ Luc admitted. ‘But for the sake of the party and my guests, as well as getting you checked out, we need to get down to the village asap. The gondolas aren’t running yet, so what I’m proposing is the safest way.’

‘You’re that good a skier? Of course you are,’ she commented dryly. ‘Is there anything you can’t do?’

‘I don’t know.’ He shrugged. ‘Let’s find out. You haven’t eaten anything, so I’ll take you for lunch.’

Stacey’s eyes widened. ‘Let me get this straight. You’re proposing to take me to the village on your skis?’

‘On my skis,’ Luc confirmed.

‘You are joking, I hope?’ Stacey stared down the dizzying drop. ‘This is a cliff edge. You can’t possibly ski down it.’

She let out a yelp as Luc proved her wrong. With his arm locked around her waist, he kept her securely in place on the front of his skis as he dropped from the edge like a stone. Just when she thought they would continue like that to the bottom of the mountain, he made a big sweeping turn, before heading sideways at a much slower pace, until finally he stopped at the side of the slope. ‘See? I told you that you can trust me to keep you safe.’

‘Just warn me when you’re going to do something like that again,’ she begged through ice-cold lips.

‘I won’t let you fall,’ he promised. ‘I could lift you off the ground in front of me and still take us both down the mountain safely, but if you stand on my skis it’s easier for me to put my arms around you to keep you in place.’

‘I wish you joy of that,’ she said, laughing tensely at her hopeless joke.

‘True,’ Lucas agreed. His lips pressed down attractively. ‘I’ve been trying to keep you in place for years and haven’t succeeded, so I have no idea what makes me think I can do it now.’

‘You trust me?’ she suggested.

He huffed a laugh, then coaxed, ‘Come on. Let’s try another run. Just a short one until you get used to it.’

‘Won’t my boots crack your skis?’

‘You’re wearing snow boots, and you’ve only got little feet.’

‘You’ve got slim skis,’ she pointed out.

‘But big feet,’ Luc countered.

‘Very big feet,’ she agreed, tensing as they started to move again.

Stacey’s throat dried as she stared down the abyss. Her job had taken her to some surprising places, but nothing like this. Only desperation to know if she was pregnant, and to see the team again so she could get the final plans for the party under way, could make her grit her teeth and carry on. Was this her preferred method of descending a mountain? If Luc hadn’t been involved, her answer would be a firm no.

Nothing about being with Lucas is normal. Get used to it, her inner voice advised.

And she did. After the first few frightening drops, shimmies and turns, Luc tracked across the entire width of the slope, before stopping to make sure she was okay to continue. ‘Enjoy it,’ he urged. ‘This is the closest you’ll come to flight without leaving the ground.’

She forced a laugh. ‘Please don’t leave the ground. I saw those drops from the gondola before the storm closed in.’

‘Don’t worry. I ski this slope several times a day when I’m here, so I know it like the back of my hand.’

‘How often do you look at the back of your hand?’

He laughed and they were off again, though not straight down as she had feared, but swooping from side to side in a rhythmical pattern she could almost get used to, if she could only close her mind to the fear of what seemed to her to be a controlled fall down the mountain.

‘Relax,’ Luc murmured against her cheek the next time he brought them to a halt. His mouth was so close they shared the same crisp champagne air.

‘I want to trust you. Honestly I do. I trusted you with my body, so it should only be a small step to trust you with my life, shouldn’t it?’ Her laugh sounded tense, even to her, and Luc’s expression was unreadable.

‘There are no small steps up here,’ she observed with a twist of her mouth. ‘It’s all giant leaps and furious speed, and I don’t get how you do it while I’m standing on the front of your skis. It’s a miracle I don’t quite believe in yet.’

‘Just believe I’ll keep you safe. That’s all you need to do,’ Luc told her with an easy shrug. And with that they were off again, skimming down the slope.

Surprising herself, Stacey found her confidence gradually growing as she got used to the speed. It helped that Luc made regular stops ‘to check she was still breathing’, as he jokingly put it.

‘I’m tougher than I look,’ she assured him.

‘No mistaking that,’ he said.

No mistake at all. With Luc’s body moulded tightly to hers, she wasn’t skiing, she was flying, and with the wind in her face and his heat behind her, the experience was wonderful, magical. There was silence all around, apart from the swish of skis on snow, and not one other person on the mountain to disturb the solitude. It was just the two of them, equally dependent on the cooperation of the other. ‘I can see the houses in the village,’ she called out at last.

Luc cruised to a halt. The mist had cleared, and the snow had stopped falling, leaving the sky above an improbable shade of unrelieved blue. ‘Suddenly, I feel optimistic,’ she exclaimed excitedly, turning to look at him.

‘Me too,’ Luc agreed in more considered tone. ‘This is perfect weather for the party.’

The party. Something went flat inside her. She didn’t want to be reminded that her whole purpose in being here was to arrange a party for Luc. But those were the bald facts. He was thinking ahead, while she was guilty of living in the moment.

‘If only the gondolas were running,’ she remarked, staring up in a failed attempt to distract herself from the hurt inside her. They were halfway down the mountain, but there was no sign of any small cabins bobbing along. ‘I would have thought that with the return of reasonably good weather they’d be running by now.’

‘Wind damage,’ Luc explained, following her gaze before tightening his grip around her waist and setting off again. ‘Each part of the system will have to be thoroughly checked before they’re operational,’ he yelled in her ear.

‘But your guests…’

‘Don’t worry,’ he shouted back. ‘I’ve got an idea to transport them up the mountain.’

‘I’m intrigued.’

‘And I’m hungry. Are you up for going a bit faster with no stops until we reach the village?’

‘Yes!’ Stacey surprised herself with how much she wanted this. Testing herself with Luc at her back was easy. She felt so safe with him, and happier than she had been in a long time. Whatever the future held they’d have much to celebrate. And if that future didn’t promise to be exactly conventional, the prospect of maybe having a child to crown that happiness was a precious gift she looked forward to, no matter what.

There was no point thinking if only, Luc reflected as he slowed at the approach to the nursery slopes bordering the village. He’d done too much of that. If only his parents had lived to see how successful his brothers and sister had become. If only they could share his good fortune. And now, if only they had lived to see their first grandchild. Wherever he was in life, and whatever the circumstances, the guilt he bore sat on his shoulder like an ugly crow waiting to peck out his happiness.

Stacey whooped with exhilaration as he slowed to a stop, then she noticed his expression and asked with concern, ‘You okay?’

‘Me? Fine.’

‘That’s my line,’ she scolded.

He huffed a laugh that held no humour. Steadying her as she stepped off his skis, he freed the bindings, stepped out of them, paired the skis, and swung them over his shoulder.

As she glanced back up the mountain and shook her head in wonder at what she’d accomplished, he remarked, ‘If I told you at the top that we were about to ski the World Cup course, would you have come with me?’

Her jaw dropped as she stared at him. ‘Really?’

‘Really,’ he confirmed. ‘Well done.’

She grinned. ‘Maybe not,’ she admitted, ‘but I’m glad I did. You never had any doubt we’d get down safely, did you?’

‘If I had you wouldn’t be here. I would never take risks with your safety, especially not now. Anyway, congratulations again. You can tell your friends what you’ve done.’

Oddly, she felt flat. Maybe because Luc had made it sound like a holiday adventure, Stacey reflected as they walked along. Perhaps that was all it was to him. It made her wonder if the possibility that she might be pregnant had made any impact on him. Was he really so unfeeling, and if so why? Once the party was over they would speed off in opposite directions. Would Luc keep her at a distance? Surely a child was an everlasting link between them? Whether he wanted that link, however, was another matter. She trusted him completely, and yet she didn’t know him at all, Stacey concluded as they walked along. As always, her concern for Luc won through over any other concerns she might have had. ‘How will you get back to the chalet when you’ve finished your business in the village?’

‘I won’t be going back to the chalet.’

‘Oh… I see.’ She didn’t see, but Luc didn’t offer any more information, and she didn’t feel it was her place to cross-question him. The last thing she wanted was for him to think her a clinging vine before she even knew if she was pregnant.

Everything about him suggested Luc was back in work mode. As she should be, Stacey reminded herself. They weren’t lovers of long standing, let alone close friends, and when it came to his party in the mountains Lucas was the boss and she worked for him. She’d always known this had to end at some point. She just hadn’t expected it to end so abruptly at the bottom of a ski slope after such an amazing run, when she’d been so sure the shared experience had brought them closer.

‘I might stay over in the village,’ he revealed in an offhand tone.

There was no invitation to join him, and why should there be? That said, it didn’t make it any easier to accept how loving and caring he could be one minute, and how distant the next.

Of course you understand why he’s this way, her inner voice insisted. The ability to love had died inside Luc on the day his parents were killed. Everyone but Niahl and Stacey had been surprised by the intensity of his grief. It had almost seemed Luc held himself responsible for his parents’ death, but they’d been such a close family, loving and caring for each other, no wonder he’d been devastated. Many times she’d longed to tell him that he couldn’t be everywhere at once, working up a business, and caring for parents who, however lovely they’d been, had struck Stacey as being unrealistic, even irresponsible, when it came to money. They were always chasing the next new idea, leaving Luc to bail them out on many occasions. The true extent of their debt had only come to light after the funeral, which Stacey believed had been the driver for Luc believing it was down to him to support his siblings and to pay off those debts. He had nothing to regret, and she only wished she could tell him so, but doubted in his present mood he’d appreciate it.

She flashed up a glance into his harsh, unyielding face. Loving might be beyond Luc, but caring was instinctive, having been bred into him by those same wacky, but deeply loving parents. He’d done so much for her already, she mused as they crossed the road, giving her confidence she’d never had in her body, and a sense of being wanted, which was entirely new. For however short a time, he’d made her believe she was worth wanting, and if whatever it was they had between them ended today, she would always be grateful for what Luc had taught her. Now it was up to her to accept this short time together for what it was: a brief reunion; amazing sex; care for each other and a renewal of friendship, as well as all the support she could wish for when it came to personal concerns, as well as in her professional life. It would be a mistake to read more into it. Luc was a realist, she was a dreamer, and if she mixed up the two she’d be heading for disappointment.

‘We’ll have lunch here,’ Luc said as they approached a busy café with steamed-up windows. ‘Then you can call by the pharmacy on your way to meet up with your team, and book an appointment with the local doctor for a check-up.’

He barely drew breath before adding, ‘I’ll speak to my people, while you see yours, and then we’ll have a joint meeting.’

To discuss the party, and clearly not the results of a pregnancy test or her visit to the local doctor. Shouldn’t they be discussing their future?

Their future? Touch base with reality, Stacey’s inner voice recommended.

Luc’s only interest at this precise moment was the vastly elaborate and hugely expensive party he’d paid for. Other things could wait. That was how he operated. Luc prioritised. He was a process-driven man. She was the dreamer, or had she forgotten that?

‘Of course,’ she confirmed in the same businesslike tone. She had filled a space in Luc’s life, and now he was done with her. ‘Actually, I’d like to eat with my team, if that’s okay with you?’

He looked at her with surprise. ‘Whatever you want.’

‘Forgive me—and thank you for your hospitality—but I’ve been away long enough.’ One sweeping ebony brow lifted as Luc stared at her and frowned. ‘Everything should be ready for the party,’ she hurried on, ‘but I need to check that all we have to do is light the touchpaper and stand back.’ She was gabbling now, talking nonsense, eager to get away before he realised how upset she was. Luc’s ability to close himself off was notorious, but it hurt when he raised those same barricades to her. ‘I’ll keep in touch,’ she promised. ‘I’ll bring you and your people into a team meeting, if you like?’

‘Of course,’ he insisted. ‘And let me know the result of the test right away, and what the doctor says. And if you need anything—’

‘I’ll let you know,’ she cut across him as her heart threatened to shatter into tiny pieces.