Читать книгу The Doctor's Meant-To-Be Marriage - Janice Lynn - Страница 9

CHELSEA paused outside the exam room door and closed her eyes, welcoming Jared’s image into her mind.

The deep blue of his eyes stirred her memory. They were just as she remembered them, as blue as the Caribbean Sea and caressing her soul as if she splashed in their seductive depths.

In stark contrast to his eyes was the midnight inkiness of his hair, hair that promised silky smoothness beneath her fingertips. She’d itched to reach out and touch a strand, to see if his hair was really as soft as she recalled. His cheekbones were high, his chin strong with a tiny cleft in the center. Jared’s slightly crooked nose added character, making her think he’d probably broken it as a mischievous little boy.

God, she’d missed him, hadn’t realized just how much until this moment. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him how rarely a day went by that she didn’t think of him, and that never had just seeing someone caused so much chaos to her mind and body.

But her attraction to Jared ran much deeper than the surface. For all his good looks, she’d met more handsome men and not felt the flutters still dancing in her belly.

The whole package appealed, drew her in.

The way he smelled spicy clean. The spark that flickered through her when his warm fingers clasped hers. The heat in his eyes when their gazes met. The way she’d instantly wanted him with an intensity she’d never experienced before or since that spring break they’d met.

She’d looked at him and seen her future.

She’d seen…

Chelsea! Get a grip. Her hot thoughts meant allowing someone to see the Chelsea she kept carefully hidden away from the world, and that’s something she’d only done once. The result hadn’t been pretty, and she never wanted to bare her scars again.

Yet, realistically, she knew that to marry and have children, which she hoped to do someday, she’d eventually have to trust someone to see the real her.

She sighed, reminding herself the first day on her new job wasn’t the time or the place to be fantasizing about the hunky doctor who’d haunted her heart for ten years. Or to be rehashing all the reasons why that particular fantasy wouldn’t ever come true.

Taking a steadying breath, she knocked on the door and entered the exam room.

With tachycardia, bulging eyes, and rapid weight loss, her first patient probably suffered from hyperthyroidism. After giving him a complete examination she gave a lab slip to the nurse and asked him to schedule a follow-up appointment for a few days hence.

Chelsea washed her hands and went to the next patient room to read the chart notation.

Five patients later, and feeling good about her morning, she stood outside an exam room, reviewing the nurse’s note. Hannah Belew. Sixteen. Wants to go on oral contraceptive.

“Hi, Hannah.”

The petite young woman on the exam table didn’t appear to be in her teens, much less like she should be asking for birth control. However, Chelsea refrained from pointing out her observation as the girl already looked like her hackles were up.

“The nurse’s note says you’d like to discuss birth control. I’ll need to ask some questions so you and I can decide together which birth-control option is the most appropriate for you.”

“OK,” the girl said with a pink tinge to her cheeks. She didn’t meet Chelsea’s gaze.

“Have you ever had a pelvic examination before?”

Mouth agape, the girl shook her head. “No way.”

“Are you sexually active?”

She hesitated, giving Chelsea her answer.

“You won’t tell my mom any of this? Patient confidentiality and all that, right?”

A sticky question if ever there was one.

“I’m not obligated to tell as long as you’re not threatening your life or someone else’s.”

“I have a boyfriend,” Hannah admitted, apparently satisfied with Chelsea’s response. The young girl shrugged her shoulders. “He likes sex.”

“Do you?” Chelsea asked the obvious question, catching the teenager off guard.

“Like sex?” Hannah averted her eyes and took a moment before answering. “I like my boyfriend.”

Apparently Chelsea wasn’t the only one who could answer with diplomacy.

“Hannah, if your boyfriend really cares about you, he’d like you regardless of whether or not you agree to have sex.”

Regardless of whether or not long scars marred your back.

Kevin hadn’t, and Chelsea often wondered if the scars from his rejection ran deeper than those of the surgeons who’d operated on her scoliosis.

Then again, Jared had also rejected her, without having seen the imperfections of her body. But she’d understood, even respected his determination to do the right thing as she’d been underage.

Hannah didn’t speak, but Chelsea could feel walls being thrown up. The young girl didn’t want to hear what needed to be said.

“At your age,” Chelsea continued, “abstinence is most often the wisest choice, but, regardless, sex is an important step in a relationship. Both parties should be ready for that step and should enjoy making that step when the time arrives.”

“He didn’t force me,” Hannah said pointedly.

“Perhaps you were ready for that step,” Chelsea continued gently, “but perhaps you weren’t and only went along with what your boyfriend wanted because you were afraid of losing him.”

Hannah’s lower lip disappeared into her mouth and the girl squirmed on the exam table, crinkling the protective paper covering the vinyl top.

“It’s my job to help you take care of your health. That means your mental and emotional health as well as your physical.”

“I’m not sick,” Hannah insisted. “I just want to go on the Pill so I won’t get pregnant.”

“Even if you go on the Pill, you still need to make your boyfriend wear a condom. The only way to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases is to abstain or have your partner wear a condom.”

“Or to have sex with a virgin,” Hannah added with a touch of irritation. “I know all this already. We went over this stuff during health class when I was in junior high school.” She eyed Chelsea suspiciously. “You’re going to tell my mom, aren’t you?”

“No, but I recommend you tell her.”

“Me tell her? You have got to be kidding me.” The girl snorted, her expression dramatic. “I thought you said your job was to look out for my health, not to get me killed.”

“Your mom wouldn’t kill you.”

“Maybe not,” Hannah admitted. “But she wouldn’t let me see Brett anymore, and that’s worse than dying.”

Having fallen hard for Jared at only a year older than Hannah, Chelsea wouldn’t judge the girl. Neither would she point out that her entire life was ahead of her, whether Brett remained in her life or not.

“Whether or not you tell your mother is your choice. My job is to give you the best information I can so you can make wise health-care decisions. In this case, having an open discussion with your mother is what I believe to be best.”

Ha, like she’d ever had an open discussion with her own mother. These days, she and Iva only saw each other a couple of times a year. Thank God, as she didn’t think she could survive more. Only through Will did Chelsea find contact with her parents tolerable. Sometimes she wondered if they would even include her in family activities if not for her brother.

What right did she have to advise Hannah to tell her mother? What if Hannah’s mother made Iva look warm and cuddly?

“It’s your call,” she said softly. “But I want you to at least consider talking with her.”

“Sure.” Sarcasm never dripped as thickly as it did off Hannah’s flippant tongue.

Chelsea took a deep breath. She didn’t seem to be getting through to the teenager.

“OK, let’s move on. We’ll discuss the different birth-control options you have.”

Hannah’s gaze narrowed. “What kind of options?”

“Pill, patch, shot, cervical cap, intra-uterine device, all of which require a pelvic examination first.”

The girl cringed. “You have to see me down there?”

“To do the thin prep test that checks your cervical and vaginal cells, I have to physically examine you.”

The girl’s face fell. “I don’t think I can do that.”

“Have a pelvic exam?” Chelsea clarified, wanting to make sure she understood what Hannah was saying.

The girl nodded. “Just the thought embarrasses me and makes my skin feel hot and sweaty.”

“You have to have the test before I will write you any type of prescription birth control.”

Hannah let out a long sigh. “Why?”

“Some tumors grow at an accelerated rate when hormones are added.”

Hannah rolled her eyes. “I don’t need hormones. I just want the Pill so I don’t get pregnant.”

“Many types of birth control are hormones, including the Pill.”

“Oh.” The girl sat quietly, digesting what Chelsea had told her.

“Another thing you should consider having is the HPV vaccine.”

The girl crossed her arms and gave Chelsea a smug look. “I’ve had all my vaccines.”

“That’s wonderful, and perhaps you have had HPV, too, but it isn’t a required vaccine so not everyone has. The vaccine is recommended for girls aged nine through twenty-six. HPV, or human papillomavirus, is the most common sexually transmitted disease in the United States and causes most cases of cervical cancer.”

Hannah’s eyes became round. “There’s an STD that causes cancer?”

“Yes.” Chelsea was glad to see she’d caught the girl’s interest. “There are around fifty strands of the virus. The vaccine protects against the strands causing cervical cancer.”

“If this HDP is so common, why haven’t I ever heard of it?”

“HPV, and you probably have heard of the disease without knowing it. Genital warts are also caused by human papillomavirus,” she explained.

Hannah’s nose curled in disgust, and she nodded. “I do remember studying those during health class. Nasty business.”

“Let me give you some information to read.” Feeling pleased she’d made a connection with the girl, Chelsea stood. “I’ll come back in a few minutes, and you can decide what you’d like to do regarding your pelvic examination and the vaccine.”

She stepped into the hallway and didn’t see Betty anywhere. Scanning the nurses’ station, she wondered where brochures and handouts might be kept but didn’t see anywhere obvious.

“Problems?” a deep voice asked from behind her. A voice belonging to the man she’d had to force off her mind all morning. Her spirits lifted just at knowing he was near, that he still felt the connection between them and had sought an excuse to search her out, to share a conversation. Perhaps he was a man confident enough to overlook her imperfections and care for her just as she was. Hey, a girl could dream.

She turned, but her heart stalled.

Jared’s eyes would have formed glaciers on the sun. Ouch. Why was he looking at her like that? With something akin to…Chelsea sought the right word and could only come up with loathing.

But he couldn’t loathe her. All she’d done had been to ineptly flirt with him ten years ago. OK, she’d kissed him, too, but he’d kissed her back, so surely he didn’t blame that completely on her?

Jared had left the next day and, despite initially trying to contact him, she’d not seen him since.

Not knowing how she’d clung to his words, Will had updated her from time to time. Jared wasn’t married and, other than the longtime girlfriend she hadn’t known about when they’d first met, there hadn’t been anyone special in his life. Laura. She’d suffered at the name, mourned at the existence of the woman who had held Jared’s heart, but she’d never wished the girl’s fate on her. Later that same year Laura had been killed in a car accident.

Jared was Will’s best friend. He wouldn’t hold a grudge for ten years over something as simple as her foolishly throwing herself at him. Would he?

Wishing she didn’t feel like she carried the bubonic plague, she gave a slight smile. “I was looking for a handout on the HPV vaccine and hoping we had one that explains pelvic examinations.”

Without any softening of his features he pointed to the small lab where basic phlebotomy tests were performed. “In those two filing cabinets.”

She nodded, expecting him to walk away, but instead he opened a drawer and pulled out a sheet on the vaccination.

“We keep folders here with all immunization information in them. I don’t recall seeing a handout explaining what to expect during a pelvic examination, but if there is one, it would be in here.” He flipped through another drawer.

Chelsea stared at the back of his dark head, wishing she could read his thoughts.

“Nothing,” he said, closing the drawer and facing her. “You can probably pull something up online when you get time and mail it to your patient.”

Good idea, except she didn’t think Hannah would be receptive to getting mail at home regarding the reasons for her office visit. Although she’d verbally gone over what would take place, she wanted Hannah to have something concrete that explained exactly what would happen during the exam.

“Or I have a patient-education program on my computer. It might have something.”

“Really?”

“We could check…” He hesitated and she wondered if he regretted his words even before they’d completely left his lips.

“If it wouldn’t be a bother.”

He didn’t meet her eyes. “No bother.”

Chelsea followed him to his office, surprised he’d offered when he seemed so antagonistic toward her. Perhaps he was afraid she was going to throw herself at him like she’d done all those years ago. She wouldn’t, of course. Sure, being near him gave her those same throw-caution-to-the-wind urges, but she’d matured, gained some experience with the opposite sex. She wouldn’t make a fool of herself again.

Jared stood beside his desk and clicked his computer mouse, bringing up the home screen. Chelsea used the moment to glance around his office.

Plain, uncomplicated, and to the point. No personal items other than the award and acknowledgment certificates framed on the wall. Already her office had more of her than this room reflected of its owner.

Then again, maybe he liked keeping things simple and the minimalist look worked for him.

“I’ve got a couple of different programs, but if we can’t find what you need, the Internet is sure to have something.”

Chelsea’s gaze returned to him, going over the lean lines of his body. Time had been good to Jared. Too good. If possible, she thought he was even more handsome now than he’d been ten years ago, but there was something different, something missing from his eyes. The happy twinkle she’d grown to love that spring break. Instead, Jared’s eyes only shone with a deep inner sadness that she suspected many failed to see.

“I appreciate this,” she said, swallowing the lump in her throat. She had to stop thinking of Jared as a martyr or as a pinup poster. Just because he looked like a brooding pinup model, it didn’t give her the right to keep mentally ogling him. Wasn’t that what women were known to complain about happening to them? Personally, Chelsea could go for a little visual ogling from time to time, just to boost her battered ego, but she digressed.

Jared was her colleague, her coworker, and her brother’s best friend. For her to embarrass them both by throwing herself at him again would just be wrong. Plus, her attraction to him would make their professional relationship strained. She’d worked too hard to get her degree, to have the career she dreamed of, to let misplaced hormones rob her future.

“Ah.” He glanced over his shoulder to indicate she should check out what he’d pulled up on his computer monitor. “This what you’re looking for?”

Chelsea skimmed the form. “Perfect.”

He clicked the mouse again, and the page shot out of his printer. “Here. If you run across something else you need and can’t find it, let me know. Patient education is important.”

“Yes.” She took the offered printout and glanced at it without really seeing the diagrams and words. “Thank you, Jared.”

“You’re welcome.” An awkward moment passed where they stared at each other, not speaking, just locking gazes. He looked away, swiped his palms over his pants, then closed the computer program. “Got to get back to my patients.”

“Right.”

They both stepped out into the hallway.

“Oh, there you are!” Leslie, a bubbly nurse practitioner who worked in the clinic, saw Chelsea and bounded up to give her a quick hug. “Sorry I missed you this morning.” Her gaze swerved for a second. “I got a late start, but no matter. I’ve been hoping to catch sight of you all morning.” She flashed a smile at Jared. “You, too, actually.”

Jared’s brow rose, but he didn’t comment.

“Will, Jennifer and I want the entire office to go out tonight for dinner to celebrate Chelsea’s first day.”

Chelsea opened her mouth to say she’d love to, but was frozen in place by Jared’s arctic attitude. She inwardly sighed.

“I’m busy,” he said.

Fighting frostbite, Chelsea tried not to let his words hurt her. It wasn’t as if she’d really expected him to want to have a relationship with her. Sure, she’d dreamed, but in reality even her dreams had only been private fantasies. Even to have a fling with Jared meant baring her soul, her back. Letting someone as beautiful as Jared see her marred flesh was not going to happen.

“Busy?” Leslie’s gaze narrowed as she eyed him curiously. “Jennifer is on call for the hospital, but amazingly the rest of us have the evening off. We won’t get a better opportunity than this evening for us all to get together, and you know it.”

Chelsea could almost see Jared’s brain whirling, trying to get out of the dinner. Did he plan to avoid her as much as possible?

He’d managed quite well over the past ten years and hadn’t been there on any of the occasions when she’d visited her brother. He’d even gone out of the country for six weeks during the time she had been officially hired.

“Come on, Jared,” Leslie coaxed. “No flavor of the month is more important than business.”

Flavor of the month? Heat rushed into Chelsea’s cheeks and her fingers gripped the printout she held so tightly the edges crinkled.

The coolness of his gaze covered her skin in goose bumps.

She didn’t understand his strange reaction, but refused to slump into negativity or pity. She didn’t do either. Hadn’t for a long, long time.

He crossed his arms and glared. “Go without me. I’ll swing by when I can. Just let me know what restaurant you decide on.”

Chelsea didn’t believe him. And not just because he talked through gritted teeth. What was his problem?

“Hey, Jare,” Will said, rounding the corner with a chart in hand and his nurse closely on his tail. “Leslie fill you in on tonight’s plans? We’ve got to officially celebrate my little sis’s induction to the paying workforce.”

Leslie’s gaze cut to Will and a pretty pink tinted her cheeks, making Chelsea wonder which of the men caused her blush. “I was just telling him, but Jared says he has other plans.”

“Cancel.” Will shrugged nonchalantly at his friend. “You’re going with us tonight.”

Chelsea had had enough of feeling like the scraggy puppy in the pet-shop window.

“I’m fine with whatever you decide, but I need to get back to my patient.” She waved the printout as if that explained everything and walked away before she went into total embarrassed meltdown. Later, when alone with her thoughts, she’d try to figure out why Jared had acted so oddly. If it was because he thought she was going to make his work environment unpleasant by mooning over him, she’d set him straight.

She’d gotten quite good at keeping her emotions hidden.

Chelsea gave the printout to Hannah for her to look over while she saw another patient. When she’d finished, she returned to Hannah’s exam room, but the girl was gone.

“Betty?” She went in search of the nurse. Spotting the pretty, slightly overweight forty-year-old, she asked, “Is Hannah in the restroom?”

Blowing a stray short, dyed-platinum strand of hair out of her eye, Betty gave Chelsea a confused look. “She left.”

“Left?”

Betty nodded. “Right after you came out of the exam room, she took off. I thought you’d finished.”

Glancing into the room, Chelsea saw the counter and trash bin were both empty. Well, at least Hannah had taken the brochures.