Читать книгу The Marked Men Series Books 1–6: Rule, Jet, Rome, Nash, Rowdy, Asa - Jay Crownover - Страница 18

“So you want to come clean and tell me why you’re acting like even more of an asshole this week than normal?” Rome was standing over me while I bench-pressed the weight up off my chest. He had asked me to go to the gym on Saturday because he was supposed to start rehabbing his shoulder. Even banged up my brother was cut, and working out with him put me to shame. I spent most of the workout trying not to flinch when I noticed how much more weight he was using than I normally did. Once the bar was locked in place I sat up and ran a towel over my sweaty face and newly shaved head. I hadn’t cut it all the way to the scalp like Nash wore his, but the Mohawk was gone and all I was left with was dark stubble all across my head. With my eyebrow rings and the tattoos that climbed up my neck I thought it made me look a little like an escaped prisoner.

“Not really.” I followed Rome as he moved over to the set of free weights and started hefting one back and forth with his bad arm. It still bothered him because he winced each time he retracted and extended but he didn’t complain and just kept up the reps. I should tell him I was all bent out of shape over Shaw; he would probably have really good advice to give me, since I was pretty sure I was on a path bound to screw up something that was turning out to be amazingly good. When he’d left Wednesday to take her to dinner it had taken everything I could do not to tackle him and demand to know if she had asked about me and if she was doing okay. Then I remembered I was purposely not answering her text messages or returning her calls and figured I would just leave it be.

His eyes met mine in the mirror as his face twisted into a tight grimace of pain. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with why Shaw looked like a freaking ghost on Wednesday when I saw her, would it?”

“Why would you think one thing had to do with the other?”

“Because I’m not stupid. She’s had a thing for you for a while and I figured it was only a matter of time before you got your head far enough out of your ass to see it. Plus, both of you have been staring at your phones for the last week like they hold all the answers to the universe and looking like kicked puppies when they don’t have on them whatever it was you’re looking for.”

I swore and worried my lip ring with my tongue. “You’re really gonna be cool if I tell you Shaw and I have been hooking up? Or are you going to hurt me?”

“As long as it’s more than hooking up I will be cool as hell. Shaw isn’t one of your one-night stands, and if you’re treating her like she is I’ll break both your legs.”

I scowled at him and flipped him off in the mirror. “What do you mean she’s been into me for a while? She got hammered one night and things got heated and I couldn’t stop it from happening, so I figured, why not roll with it? I like her. I mean I like spending time with her. She’s fun but she’s always so busy and this weekend she went back to Brookside with her weirdo ex because her mom told her to. I just don’t know if I can hang out with someone like that. She’s twenty years old, she should be living her own life, not bowing down to her parents’ every whim.”

“So let me guess: Instead of having a rational, reasonable conversation with her about it where you laid out your concerns, you probably just shut her out and refused to talk to her while you seethed and festered in your own anger.”

I shrugged a shoulder.

“Rule, Shaw has known you for a long time. Can you imagine what she’s thinking you’re out doing while you’re ignoring her? Come on, brother, use your head for one bloody second. Is it worth it to ruin it all before you even get it started? That girl sees you, I mean really sees you, and I think she has since the very beginning when everyone was always looking around you to see Remy. You need to stop being stubborn and make things right with her.”

“She went with her ex, Rome.”

“Yeah, and you went out last night and let some skank shove her tongue down your throat. Not everyone operates off the same script, Rule. Most people want to make their parents happy, want to have them approve of what they are doing with their lives. Not everyone can burn every bridge the way you do. Most people want a way back home.”

I cringed a little because his words hit right at the center of me. Had I been just a little drunker, just a little stupider, I probably would have made a mistake last night that there was no going back from. Luckily, the redhead had tasted like sticky sweet lip gloss and smelled like cheap floral perfume. She had none of the softness or perfectness of how it felt being lip-locked with Shaw, so I had sent her on her way and felt like shit for the rest of the night. I knew I was going to have to talk to Shaw. I couldn’t keep going on like this or I was going to end up sabotaging everything that was building between us.

“It freaks me out, Rome.”

“Why?”

“You know why. Once someone is in, it kills you when they leave.”

“Come on, Rule, the people who care enough to get in normally don’t want to leave. Just look around you: I’m still here, Nash hasn’t gone anywhere. Jet and Rowdy would kill for you, and if you took a minute to think about it, Shaw has been there just as long. You might have thought she was there for Remy because he always watched out for her and protected her, but I think you’re smart enough to realize now that maybe she was trying to take care of you for another reason altogether.”

He let the weights clatter to the rack with a thud and turned to look at me out of cool eyes.

“Grow up, Rule. Stop acting like a spoiled brat who can’t live outside his brother’s shadow. You have an amazing, successful career, a solid group of friends, a family that might be broken but loves you nonetheless, and you have a pretty spectacular girl just waiting for you to realize she’s yours for the taking.”

“Man, when you go big brother you go all out.”

He rolled his eyes at me as we made our way to the locker room. I shrugged back into my street clothes and shot a quick glance at my phone. My heart constricted in my chest when I saw the message she had sent. I could practically hear how sad she was in the words. I really was an asshole; I could have talked to her instead of sending her off with that jackass without a word. I was trying to think of something to text her back when Rome thunked me on the back of the head with his palm.

“Let’s go.”

“I have to be at work at noon anyway. Hey, Rome.” I waited until he turned and looked me in the eye. “What about Mom and Dad?”

“What about them?”

“Me and Shaw. If I get it figured out, if I manage not to screw it up royally, what am I supposed to do about them? They would never understand.”

“Who cares? You deserve to be happy and so does Shaw. Remy is gone and that’s just the way it is.”

I cleared my throat and ran my hand across the back of my neck. “Yeah, well, Shaw was never with Remy that way.”

His eyes got big and his mouth sort of dropped open. “Do I want to know how you know that?”

“Probably not, but let’s just say I know for a fact she and Remy didn’t have a relationship like that.”

“Well regardless, it isn’t any of Mom and Dad’s business.”

I sighed again. “Yeah, I guess.”

We parted ways and I made my way to the shop. I had a busy day with clients back to back and I was still committed to going to the show with the guys that night. Brent, the lead singer of the band, was a good client and I got a lot of good press out of having my work on him since Artifice had blown up over the last few years.

After work I went home and changed and got ready to roll out with the boys, but my mind was still on Shaw and the text she’d sent me this morning. She had hurt me and even though I was too hardheaded to admit it, that was the reason I had pulled away. I didn’t want her around the ex because logically he was a better match for her and I didn’t want to come up short. By shoving her away and not giving her a chance to talk about it, or a chance for us to work it through, I was cutting off any chance at rejection or being found lacking before it could start. I was an idiot. Of all the people in my life Shaw had never been one to make me feel like I was less than anything. Yeah, she could be judgmental and chilly when she was feeling pressured and cornered, but she never made me feel like I wasn’t enough.

The show was awesome; we got treated like rock stars because we were backstage and knew the band. The girls who were around us were tempting and alluring, but when it came time for the after party I dipped out early and went home by myself. I took a shower and crawled into bed still staring at my phone. Not able to contain it anymore I finally sent her a text back.

I kissed some chick last night.

I held my breath because I didn’t know what she was going to text back. I was fully prepared for her to tell me it was over, that I had gone too far, but nothing came. I stared at the screen for a good twenty minutes, my heart racing, and still nothing came through.

I’m sorry, I didn’t do it to hurt you. I’m just an idiot and this is harder than I thought.

There still wasn’t a response and I felt that weird slither in my chest that was tied to Shaw start to shatter. All I knew was I had to fix this, that I wasn’t ready to let her go just yet. Rome was right, I needed to grow up. I hadn’t even given this a fair shot—as usual my hot head was writing checks the rest of me wasn’t prepared to cash. I tossed and turned all night. She never called or texted me back and I began to panic. I heard Nash stumble in at some point after four and I hoped Rome slept through it.

I got up the next morning and started moving around the apartment at a frantic pace. I brushed my teeth and shoved a bagel in my mouth. I tore through my closet to find the one shirt I owned that had buttons on it and found the single pair of black Dickie pants I had that weren’t jeans. I put a black hoodie on and a pinstriped blazer over it and bounded out the door all while my brother and roommate looked at me like I had lost my mind.

“I’ll be back later.”

“Where are you going? To church?” Nash looked a little worse for wear and Rome was just watching me knowingly.

“I need to talk to Shaw.”

“So call her.”

“She isn’t answering her phone.”

“You think her mom’s just gonna let you roll up to the house and let you in?”

“I don’t care; I need to talk to her so I’m going to talk to her.”

Rome winked at me and saluted me with his coffee cup. “Atta boy. Call me if they have you arrested and I will totally come get you out.”

“Later.”

I had to stop and put gas in the truck and for whatever reason there was a ton of traffic going out of town. I was impatient and ready to have a fit of serious road rage by the time I finally got to Brookside. I tried to call her one more time and was sent right to voice mail. I almost crushed the phone in my hand when her recorded greeting cheerily told me to just leave a message.

I knew where her mom lived because I had been forced to pick her up more than once and bring her to our house when I still shared a car with Remy. I followed the car in front of me through the gates and found the house with no problem. There was a menagerie of all kinds of expensive and fancy cars that seriously had no place being in Colorado parked out front the chalet-style mansion.

I jogged up the front steps and rang the doorbell. I was expecting a maid or maybe some fancy-ass butler to open the door; what I wasn’t expecting was an older, harder version of Shaw. There was no doubt this woman was Shaw’s mother; they had the same white-blond hair, the same piercing green eyes, but where Shaw was delicate and lovely, this woman looked like she had been carved out of a solid block of ice. I saw her eyes narrow and sharpen when she saw me but I was on a mission and I didn’t care who this chick was—she wasn’t going to stand in my way, even if I had to run her over.

“I need to talk to Shaw.”

Her mouth pulled tight and she put her small body solidly in the doorway. “You’re Margot and Dale’s boy aren’t you?”

“One of them.” We weren’t friends, were never going to be, and she was making that clear.

“What do you want with my daughter?”

“That’s personal. I just need to speak with her for a minute and then I’ll be on my way.”

“You’re interrupting a private gathering; Shaw is here with her boyfriend and I don’t think she wants to see you.”

I fought back an eye roll. The lady was manipulative and delivered it like it was fact, but I wasn’t stupid so I just stared back at her.

“Davenport is a stalker not her boyfriend. Just get her for me, would ya?” I could see that my lack of respect was starting to get under her too tight skin.

“How do you presume to know what’s going on in my daughter’s private life? You’ve always just been a crush, and we all know you two aren’t right for each other. It’s time to stop playing childish games.”

“Look, lady, what’s going on between me and Shaw has nothing to do with you and I assure you it isn’t a game. I don’t mind making a scene if it gets me what I want, but something tells me that you wouldn’t want all your guests to wonder what the commotion was about.” I lifted my pierced brow. “Am I right?” I think she was about to tell me she was going to call the police or holler for her husband, but she didn’t get the chance because the heavy door was yanked out of her death grip and suddenly Shaw’s pale face appeared around the doorjamb.

“Rule? What are you doing here?”

Her hair was braided up in some fancy design that looked like it hurt. She had on a pearl necklace that looked like it was from the 1800s and a pink sweater that looked fuzzy and soft. She was also in a pair of loose cream-colored pants and had on a pair of pink heels that looked like they cost as much as my truck. She was so far removed from the Shaw that I was used to rolling around naked with I almost turned around and left without saying another word, but her green eyes were wide and sad and that slippery feeling in the center of my chest started to throb. I didn’t care that her mother was watching me with an eagle eye—I grabbed her arm and pulled her onto the stoop with me. I held her face in my hands and peered straight into her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

She put her hands over mine and blinked up at me. “What?”

“I sent you a text last night. I tried to call you back all night and you didn’t answer me. I’m sorry. Sorry I pushed you away, sorry I acted like an idiot, sorry I don’t know how to do this thing between us right, I’m just sorry.”

“My phone is broken.”

“What?” I asked it on a laugh. I wanted to kiss her, wanted to scoop her up in my arms and take her somewhere so far away from here.

“I threw it against the wall because Ayden told me you went home with some girl Friday night. I shattered the screen on it.”

“Shit. I’ll buy you a new one.” She closed her eyes and squeezed my hands.

“Did you do it, go home with her?”

“No, I kissed her, which sucks on my part and makes me an asshole, but I knew it was wrong so I stopped it. I swear if we get this straight between us I will never let it happen again. I’m trying to figure out how all this works, Shaw. I hate that you’re the one who has to get hurt because of my learning curve.”

“You shut me out, you left me alone in the dark, Rule. I don’t think I’ve ever had anything hurt that bad.”

“I know, Casper; I know, but don’t give up on me now, okay?”

“You drove all the way here just to apologize?”

I nodded. “We have to fix this.”

She gave me a lopsided grin. “We need to learn how not to break it in the first place.” I gulped down the sudden surge of emotion in my throat and pulled her into a tight hug. It felt like coming home, a feeling I don’t think I had ever actually experienced before. I kissed her softly behind her ear and whispered, “By the way, your mom hates me, like, HATES me.”

She put her hands in the back pockets of my pants and stood on her tiptoes to kiss the underside of my jaw. “That’s okay, she hates me, too. Why did you cut your hair all off? It looks good, you look good, but I liked the Mohawk.”

I self-consciously ran a hand over my naked skull. “I don’t know. I just needed to change it.”

She looked at me with serious eyes and folded her hand in mine. “It makes you look more like Remy than all your other hairstyles.”

“Shaw, tell your friend good-bye and come back inside. We have guests and you’re being very rude.”

She peeked over my shoulder at her mother and I felt her grip on my hand tighten.

“I’m not coming in without Rule.” Oh shit, she was doing it again, putting herself between me and another disapproving parent.

“Hey, it’s cool. As long as we’re good I’ll just catch up with you when you get back to D-town. I can wait to see you later.”

“No.”

“Shaw.” Her mother’s voice was all whiplash warning. “This ends now. Send him on his way and come inside. You’ve made enough of a scene.”

“No. I’m with him. If you want me to sit through another meal where you’re going to blatantly ignore Gabe trying to grope me and purposely make me uncomfortable then I’m doing it with Rule there to keep him in check.”

“Shaw, he does not belong in there with this group of people.”

There it was, the judgment, the censure, the idea that because I lived on my own terms and in my own way I wasn’t good enough for this girl. I pulled her to my side and met her mother’s glare with one of my own. Remy might have protected her by giving her a safe haven, but I was a fighter by nature and this lady had pushed enough of my buttons to last for years.

“Right, but I’m the one she spent her birthday with, I’m the one who makes her happy, and I’m the one who is ready to protect her from the creep you keep shoving at her. I’m more than willing to take her with me and get out of your hair, but I doubt you want to try to explain her hasty exit to the Davenports, so why don’t you just suck it up for once in your life and let your kid have something, just one thing, that makes her happy?”

“Shaw?” There was confusion in the woman’s tone now.

“I go where he goes, so if you don’t want him to come in then I’m outta here. I never should have come in the first place. I’m tired of being manipulated and used as a pawn and an accessory. I told you about Gabe and you refuse to listen.”

“But you’re perfect together.”

“Right, only I want to be with him.” She hooked her thumb in my direction.

“He openly admitted to cheating on you only a day ago, what kind of relationship do you honestly think you can have with him? Do you think your father will continue to pay for school when he hears about this?”

She shrugged and I put a hand on her hip to pull her back against me. “I’m sick to death of worrying about it. It gives me migraines and my relationship is mine to work out. He’s not perfect and neither am I; if I choose to forgive him you don’t get a say in it.”

I felt like a heel. I shouldn’t have assumed the redhead was just going to be forgotten, but Shaw was still letting me hold her, so I wasn’t too worried about it.

“Fine. Come in, eat brunch, and try not to embarrass yourselves while you’re at it. Shaw, I want you gone as soon as brunch is done and don’t think for one single second that this is over. Just wait until I speak with your father about this circus.”

She spun around and disappeared inside the massive house. I looked down at Shaw and ran a finger across her furrowed brow. “We okay?”

“Mostly. Let’s just get through this, then worry about the rest later.” She started to pull away from me but I caught her around the waist and pulled her back to me.

“Shaw.”

“Yeah?”

I kissed her. I kissed her so that she could feel my regret, my desire to do right, the way that she had a piece of me now and I wasn’t letting go. I kissed her because I had to and kissing her made me feel better. When I lifted my head her mouth looked puffy and damp and her eyes were glassy with banked passion.

“I missed you, too.”

She giggled a little and hooked her elbow around my arm. “These are a bunch of country club people and Mom’s political associates. You clean up nice, but don’t expect them to welcome you with open arms. I don’t think any of them have ever even seen a tattoo up close and personal so be prepared to be treated like half pariah and half zoo exhibit.”

“It’ll be fine. I can’t promise to play nice if that douche bag tries to put his hands on you in front of me, though.”

She shivered against my side. “He was awful last night. I kept trying to move farther and farther away and he just followed. My mother is insane if she thinks I’m spending one more minute with him.”

“Don’t you have to drive him back to school today?”

“I was planning on faking a headache and just letting him drive while I lay down in the backseat.”

I didn’t like that idea at all; she didn’t need to be vulnerable and subjected to that nonsense.

“Just give him the keys to the BMW and you can ride back with me. Have him text you when he’s home and Nash and I can go get your car later tonight.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Look, I know I messed up but I’m here for real now. We’re going to do this and I promise I’ll take care of you the best as I can. You’re going to have to be patient with me because I’m flying blind, but this is the kind of thing I should be doing for you. Plus, I don’t want you anywhere near that guy. He has something going on under all that polo and khaki and I don’t trust him one bit.”

“All right. I’ll set it up and if he refuses I’ll just tell him he has to find his own way home.”

She led me into a dining room that was packed with every real housewife of Brookside and every single person in the top-earning percentile of the state. There was a lot of money and power in this dining room, and Shaw was right, they were all looking at me like I was a wild animal let out of its cage. She tightened her grip on my arm and led me over to a table with all kinds of food spread out on it. Everyone gave us a wide berth for about three minutes, but as soon as Shaw tried to lead us to the table we were waylaid by Polo Shirt and the rest of the Junior League. He looked me up and down, then skimmed over Shaw in a way that made me want to hang him from a tree by his own intestines.

“This is a private function; I doubt you were invited.”

I lifted an eyebrow and settled a hand on Shaw’s lower back.

“He’s with me.” Her tone was cold and left no room for argument.

“For now.”

“Leave it alone, Polo Shirt. This isn’t the time or the place.”

“You don’t belong here. You’re a thug and a loser. Shaw is going to get tired of living on the wild side and see reason.”

“Here.” She shoved her keys at him and dragged me behind her into the room where everyone was seated at a massive table. All eyes were on us as she stormed to the table calling over her shoulder, “I’m not spending one second more with you; you can take the Beamer home by yourself or find your own ride.”

I heard him sputter but I was too busy pulling out Shaw’s seat and settling in next to her to enjoy it. I could feel most of the eyes in the room on us and her mother’s sour look from the head of the table. I was about to tell Shaw this was silly and was just making everyone uncomfortable when I heard a surprised voice say my name.

“Rule? Rule Archer is that you? What are you doing all the way out here for brunch?” The chair next to mine was pulled out and Alexander Carsten, a longtime client of mine, settled into the seat next to me. I gave him a grin and shook the hand he offered.

“What’s up, Alex? Long time no see. How’s the leg piece? Did it heal up all right?”

He laughed a big hearty laugh. Alex was a lawyer or something, in his early forties and pretty successful. I knew he drove a sweet Jag and had an awesome loft somewhere down in LoDo, but he was cool as hell for a buttoned-up kind of guy. I had done a couple big pieces on his leg and on his back, and under his pressed shirt and silk tie I knew he had two full sleeves, one Nash had done for him and one Rowdy had done. He paid big bucks and was an awesome tipper. Considering this was the last place on earth I would have planned on running into a client, I was stunned into momentary silence. I felt Shaw drop her hand onto my thigh and I covered it with my own.

“It healed perfect. I was actually thinking about swinging by in a few weeks and getting you to draw up something for my chest. So what are you doing out here?”

“I’m actually from Brookside, but I’m here particularly because my girl is stubborn and trying to prove a point.” I inclined my head at Shaw and she narrowed her eyes at me. Alex looked around me at Shaw and snorted out a laugh.

“You’re dating Eleanor Landon’s daughter? I bet that went over like coal on Christmas.” I guess Shaw’s mom hadn’t changed her name when she left Shaw’s dad or maybe it was just a better name for her political agenda.

“Oh yeah, she’s not a fan.”

“Well, don’t worry about it; she isn’t a fan of much from what I hear. It’s good to see a familiar face at one of these shindigs. I hope she keeps you around; these people can use the culture shock. This stuff is normally so boring.”

We bumped fists and I turned back to Shaw to ask her how much longer we had to stay, but now everyone in the entire room was staring at me like I had grown an extra head.

“What?”

She laughed and pressed her head against my shoulder. “Do you have any idea who that is?”

I popped a piece of orange in my mouth and pressed her hand harder into my thigh. “Alex. I tattoo him—actually we all do. He’s a regular at the shop.”

She was laughing so hard there were tears running down her face. “That’s Alex Carsten.”

“I just said I know.”

“Rule, Alex is the state attorney general. He’s the most influential legal person in all of Colorado. My mother helped get him elected.”

I ate another slice of orange and noticed Shaw’s mom was looking at me totally differently now. “Weird. He’s tatted up like crazy; under that suit and tie is some serious artwork.”

“That’s just too funny.”

“Hey, how much longer do we have to stick around here?”

“Let’s finish eating and then I need to pack my stuff up in my room. You can come up and help me.”

“You think the queen of the castle is going to let me in the ivory tower?”

She leaned in closer to me and moved her hand up even higher on my thigh; it made me almost choke on the orange I was chewing.

“She might not want you in there”—her green eyes twinkled up at me with merriment—“but I sure do.”

This stupid brunch couldn’t end fast enough. I popped another piece of orange in my mouth and tried counting backward from a hundred to get my libido in check. I thought brunch with my folks was rough. I was starting to see why Shaw was so interested in pulling my fractured family back together. Even as messed up as we Archers were, these rich people had us beat in crazy and nasty by spades.