Читать книгу Welcome to Mills & Boon - Jennifer Rae - Страница 27
ОглавлениеHELENA ALMOST DIDN’T want to hear the answer. It was a stupid question—one that neither of them could escape from now it’d been asked. Maybe that was for the best. If things had gone to plan, Flynn would have married her sister today. She knew that Thea hadn’t loved him, but she’d never really given much thought to how Flynn felt about Thea. She’d just assumed, given his usual pragmatic, spreadsheet-based approach to the whole thing, that it was a business convenience.
She’d even wondered idly once or twice if Flynn was gay and his marriage to Thea an elaborate cover to hide the truth from Ezekiel. Heaven knew the old man was hidebound and rigid about everything else. No reason to assume that he’d deal with a son who liked men any better than he’d dealt with a son who ran out and abandoned the family business like Zeke had.
Flynn wasn’t gay. No gay guy could have kissed her the way he had at the reception. And, besides, she knew when a guy wanted her—and Flynn’s eyes when she’d walked in had spoken volumes. Lusty volumes of erotic poetry.
He wanted her. But he wasn’t going to take her, even offered up on a plate. In Helena’s experience, there were limited reasons for that sort of restraint—and they usually came down to being faithful to someone else.
What if Flynn had really loved Thea? What if he was heartbroken right now, drowning his sorrows in brandy while she swanned in wearing white satin and tried to seduce him?
Could she have made a bigger mess of this? But there was no going back now. She needed to know the truth.
‘Tell me honestly, Flynn. Would you have slept with Thea tonight?’ she asked again, and Flynn’s gaze slipped away from hers.
‘Probably.’ His shoulders lifted slightly then slumped. ‘We’d talked about...well...getting to know each other as man and wife, from the start.’
Helena’s jaw tightened. She could almost imagine the conversation, probably squeezed in between a meeting about the quarterly projections and a client presentation. Thea, cool and calm and business-like, the way she only ever was when she was working, not dating. Flynn, as unflappable as ever, giving equal gravity to the budget and his sex life.
One of them had probably even said the words: in the interest of mutual satisfaction or something.
‘But it was different with Thea,’ Flynn said, a hint of apology in his voice. ‘We were...well, I was...’
In love, Helena finished for him in her head. And that was something Helena couldn’t match up to. She’d thought she could be enough for him, for now. But not if he was in love with her sister.
Flynn sighed. ‘We had paperwork,’ he said in the end, as if that explained everything.
For Flynn, it probably did.
‘That’s all you want from this marriage? Paperwork?’ Helena gripped the back of the chair she stood behind, keeping it between them like a shield. A screen, at least. How humiliating to be having this conversation in almost see-through nightwear. How had this ever seemed like a good idea?
‘No.’ That was his firm voice. His don’t-mess-with-me business voice. She’d heard of it, mostly from Thea, but he’d never used it on her before. They’d never been close enough for him to have the opportunity, not since she was fifteen.
‘Then what do you want?’ She didn’t care if she was pleading. She needed to make sense of this if she hoped to have any chance of sleeping tonight. She swept a hand down the side of her negligee. ‘You don’t want this. You don’t want happily ever after. But you don’t seem to want a quickie divorce either. Whatever happens next, we’re stuck with each other for at least the next two weeks. So tell me—what is it you do want?’
‘I want a wife. I want paperwork. I want something to follow the plan just once.’ He grabbed his glass and downed the remaining brandy. Helena just stared at him. Was that Flynn losing his temper? she wondered. She’d never seen it before. And still, it seemed so...insubstantial.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, as if he’d thrown the glass at her or something. ‘It’s just...it’s been a long day, and not one bit of it has gone the way I expected. I’m still...adjusting.’
To being married to the wrong woman. To losing the woman he’d actually wanted to marry. She couldn’t even blame him.
‘Right,’ she said, as if her life hadn’t been turned upside down a couple of times in the last twenty-four hours, too. ‘I can understand that.’
Flynn looked up, his eyes red and tired. ‘For you too, I know. It’s been...’
‘One hell of a day.’
‘Yeah.’ They stared at each other for a long moment, and Helena felt the knowledge that she was tied to this man, for better or for worse, sinking into her bones in a way it never had when she’d said the words.
This was her future, whatever happened next. He’d always be her husband, even if he became an ex. They were joined—and she didn’t understand the first thing about him.
This Flynn, the one she’d seen tonight, was nothing like the one her fourteen-year-old self had thought herself in love with. He wasn’t kind, noble and knowing. He wasn’t even the unfeeling, emotionally detached man she’d assumed he had to be to deal with his fiancée running out on him. This Flynn cared. He felt. He hurt.
And this was the man she’d married. The man she intended to keep secrets from until they could unmarry.
‘I should...’ She wiggled her fingers towards the door. ‘Sleep would probably help. Both of us.’
‘Yeah.’ Flynn sighed. ‘I’ll head up in a moment, too. I just have one phone call to make.’
‘Now? It’s two in the morning, Flynn.’
‘I know. But this can’t wait.’
‘I’ll never understand that,’ she admitted. ‘You and your dad—and Thea. The way you’re married to the business. I mean...’ She winced as she realised what she’d said.
But it didn’t seem to register with Flynn. ‘This isn’t business.’
Not business? Then who would take his call at two a.m.? Unless...was he phoning Thea? She didn’t want to know if he was.
Helena turned to leave, but paused in the doorway as she remembered her original plan for their sleeping arrangements—before the negligee and the discovery that her husband might well be in love with her sister, even now.
‘I thought...maybe it would be a good idea for you to sleep in my old room? Tonight, at least. I had the maid move your things. It’s right next to the bridal suite, so it makes it a little less likely for you to be caught out on the other side of the building in the morning, when you’re supposed to be ravishing your new wife.’
He actually flinched at the words and Helena swallowed down the spike of pain she felt at that. No, she definitely wasn’t enough for Flynn Ashton, even after everything she’d done today.
‘Okay. I’ll do that then. I’ll see you in the morning, Helena.’ He said it kindly, a sop to her poor hopeful ideas of a night with her husband.
‘Yeah. In the morning.’
Maybe things would look brighter with the sunrise. They sure couldn’t look much darker.
* * *
Flynn didn’t sleep much.
He’d woken his solicitor up the moment Helena left and asked him to book a flight over to discuss the new marriage contract. Explaining why that was necessary hadn’t been fun, and he rather suspected he’d have to do it again in the morning anyway, once Henry was properly awake. Even the best contract solicitor in London needed a little time to surface from sleep before his brilliance began to shine.
That vital task performed, he’d headed up to bed, pausing at the top of the stairs while he considered his options. Helena had a point; sleeping in her old room would make the chance of discovery in the morning less likely. And since apparently his stuff was already there anyway, he’d trudged off in the direction of the bridal suite, letting himself into the room next door. And if his body tugged him towards another door, another bed, another body, well, he resisted. Just.
But lying in sheets that still smelled of her perfume, of roses, of her skin, made it impossible not to think of Helena. His wife.
He’d hurt her tonight, he’d seen it in her eyes, even if he wasn’t sure exactly what he’d said wrong. Everything, probably. He was out of practice at dealing with women. For the past few years, it had only been Thea for him, and that wasn’t exactly a normal relationship. One of the most reassuring parts of it was being able to discuss things openly and clearly, without misunderstandings.
But with Helena...they didn’t have that grounding. And so he’d miscalculated and caused her pain. So now he needed to try and find a way to fix that and make sure it didn’t happen again.
Henry’s arrival should solve the second part of that. Once they had their expectations down on paper, things would get easier between them. But making things up to her...that was all on him.
* * *
Flynn eventually drifted off thinking of ways to improve relations with his wife, only to be awoken by his internal clock a mere three hours later. Six a.m. on the dot; he knew without checking his phone. It always was. He’d been waking up at six for so long now he couldn’t sleep in if he wanted to.
Actually, today he wanted to. If he could sleep, he would miss the departing parents and family. Helena could get over last night with coffee and breakfast, and by the time he finally emerged the world would be stable and right again.
Flynn sighed, rolled out of bed and headed for the shower. Heat and steam were the next best thing to sleep, anyway.
Clean and awake, Flynn towelled off and reached for his usual suit before remembering that he was on holiday. More than that, he was on his honeymoon. It might not resemble what other people expected from a honeymoon, but it was the best he was going to get. And he certainly wasn’t going to wear a suit for it.
Even if he suspected that today, his first day of marriage, would look very similar to every other day that had come before it. He had work to do, as ever. And he had to review the marriage agreement he’d had with Thea before Henry arrived.
But first he had to make sure his parents actually left for London. At least, with them gone, he wouldn’t have to worry about Ezekiel meddling or Isabella upsetting Helena.
Of course, with the departure of everyone else, it would just be him and Helena left together. Alone.
And that, Flynn decided, could get very interesting indeed. At the very least, it would give him a solid chance to make things up to his new wife.
All the more reason to make sure that Henry got there soon.
* * *
Helena woke the morning after her wedding, just as she’d gone to bed: alone. Why on earth did that feel like a surprise? she wondered as she lay back on the luxurious sheets and stared at the ceiling.
Here she was, the first day of her honeymoon, and she wasn’t sure she was going to see her husband at all. Wasn’t sure that she wanted to either.
Except their parents were leaving that morning. He’d have to be there to see them off, right?
And if Flynn was there, did she really have to be there too?
Helena sighed. Sadly, yes, she did. This was the first full day of the charade that was set to take over her life for the next however long—the act of being a devoted and dutiful wife. At least, with the remaining guests and family gone, the only people she’d have to keep it up for were the villa staff—until they got home to London, anyway.
Dragging herself out of bed, she showered and dressed quickly before heading down to the entrance hall, her still damp hair curling around her shoulders.
‘The car for the airport is here,’ Flynn said, walking in through the front door just as she came down the stairs.
‘Unlike the people it’s here to transport.’ Helena looked pointedly around the empty hallway, trying to ignore the way her heart jumped, just a little, at the sight of him. Could she be more pathetic? He might have married her, but he’d made it very clear that all he wanted was the paperwork.
They stared at each other for a long moment and Helena felt the cool stone walls pressing in as the silence between them grew. She’d never had a problem finding things to talk to Flynn—or anyone else—about before, but all of a sudden it was as if the rings they wore had sucked all the small talk out of them.
We’re good at this, she reminded herself desperately. We’re the ones who keep the conversation going, who smooth over the awkward silences and the embarrassing comments!
But apparently that skill only worked with people they weren’t married to. Or when one of them hadn’t turned down a wedding night in the marital bed, at least. Great.
‘Maybe I should go and check on them,’ Flynn said eventually, moving towards the stairs. Helena tried to dodge out of his way, but miscalculated, her foot slipping on the bottom few steps.
She reached for the banister but Flynn was there first, grabbing her around the waist with both arms to keep her upright.
Helena waited for her heartbeat to return to normal speed now she was safe. It didn’t.
Looking up, she saw honest concern in Flynn’s golden caramel eyes. His very close eyes. Not far from his very close lips. So close, in fact, that she’d only have to move a centimetre or two and they’d be kissing. Like they’d done after the speeches. And that kiss had hinted at so much more...
Until he’d turned down her advances just a few hours later. The memory of his dismissal settled over her like a cold shower.
‘Just look at you two lovebirds! Such a beautiful sight.’ Isabella’s voice rang out across the hallway, echoing off the stone walls as she descended the stairs. Flynn pulled away so quickly that Helena ended up grabbing the banister anyway. So much for chivalry.
‘Let me help you with that, Mother.’ Flynn jogged up the stairs to take his mother’s suitcase from her and carried it down. ‘Where are Dad and Thomas?’
Isabella rolled her eyes. ‘In the study, I believe. Last-minute business meeting before our flight.’
Helena saw the look of irritation that crossed Flynn’s face, but Isabella either missed or chose to ignore it. Feeling left out, was he? She supposed she’d better prepare herself for two weeks of him sloping off to check his email and taking business calls during lunch.
That was if they spent any time together at all. What if he just intended to work all through the honeymoon?
Helena shook away the thought. She had to look on the bright side or she was going to go mad. So what if her husband had better things to do on their honeymoon than spend time with her? That just gave her more opportunities to go exploring, to see more of the country, maybe go back to that pretty jewellery shop she’d found with Thea in the nearest town. She could treat herself to something pretty then have lunch in that little trattoria. Maybe flirt with a nice Italian man... The thought stopped abruptly.
She couldn’t do that any more, could she? Not now she was married. And especially not once she signed Flynn’s blasted paperwork with its ironclad fidelity clause. Not that she had any particular plans to go out and pick up a guy or anything. It wasn’t really her style, was it? But she did like men, had several close male friends and enjoyed the warm buzz she got from flirting with them, just a little, even knowing that they would never do anything about it.
But that was off the table now. Flynn would probably have private detectives following her around, photographing her having lunch and researching every man she ever spoke to. And if he didn’t, his father certainly would.
Yeah, she really hadn’t thought this whole thing through.
A door opened just down the corridor and she heard her father’s laugh as he and Ezekiel emerged from their conference, dragging their cases behind them.
‘All ready?’ Flynn asked the men. ‘The car for the airport is here.’
Ezekiel nodded and one of the villa staff darted forward to take their cases out to the car. Flynn followed with Isabella’s. Helena stood awkwardly, waiting for whatever happened next. The moment they left, everything would change again and she was beginning to fear that her bright attitude wasn’t going to last a full two weeks.
‘Well, have a good journey home, all of you,’ she said. ‘And we’ll see you in London in a fortnight, I guess.’
Isabella nodded and leant in to kiss the air beside Helena’s cheeks. ‘We’ll have the house all ready for you both. Then you and I can sit down and discuss your social calendar.’
Social calendar? ‘Great.’
Ezekiel nodded his own farewell then walked out of the front door with his wife, leaving Helena alone with Thomas.
‘You’ve got two weeks here, Helena,’ he said, studying her face with serious eyes. Helena’s breath caught in her throat. She and Thea had always known that their father was easy-going and affable—but only to a point. When he turned serious, they knew it really mattered. ‘Use them wisely. You’ve made your choice and you need to stick with it now. So make this work.’
He didn’t really need to add the or else, Helena supposed. She knew well enough what happened when she disappointed her father.
‘And if you speak to your sister,’ he added, pausing by the door, ‘tell her we need to discuss her future. Sooner rather than later.’
Helena nodded stiffly. She didn’t envy her sister that conversation.
But then, Thea probably wouldn’t envy Helena two weeks in Tuscany trying to ‘make things work’ with a husband who didn’t want her, either.
Well, if all Flynn wanted was a paperwork wife, Helena could give him that. Watching as he waved to their parents’ departing car from the front step, Helena made a decision. If this was all business anyway, she’d let Flynn get on with his—while she focused on her own life. She’d cleared her calendar for the month around the wedding, knowing things would be manic enough without adding any new projects for her burgeoning interior design business into the mix. But here she was with time on her hands, her laptop and freakishly fast Internet access, given their location. It was the perfect chance to get on with the new website she’d been planning for months.
Time for her to get on with her own future for a while.
* * *
Their married life had slipped into a routine surprisingly quickly, Flynn realised a few days later. Every morning he woke, went for a run, returned to the villa to shower and dress, then sat down for breakfast. Helena usually joined him then and they made polite, if sparse, conversation over the English papers he’d arranged to have delivered.
Then Flynn would settle into his father’s study to work while Helena did...whatever it was she did all day. Sometimes they’d see each other for lunch, sometimes not. Dinner they usually took together in the dining room, and Helena always turned in for bed first.
There had been no repeat of her wedding night offer, something for which Flynn was profoundly grateful as Henry had been held up in London and wasn’t able to get out to Tuscany until the end of the week. As much as he wanted the paperwork sorted before he allowed himself to really invest in the marriage, he knew his own limitations. No man had willpower strong enough to resist Helena in that negligee night upon night, whatever the stakes.
Still, he thought as he took his morning run on the fourth day, he didn’t want the distance between them to grow so much as to be insurmountable, either. Once Henry arrived he needed Helena on side, ready to work with him, ready to make this marriage real.
With an extra burst of energy he took the last stretch up the drive to the villa at a sprint, the thought of a calendar entry he’d barely registered the day before spurring him on.
Back in his room, he checked his phone as he caught his breath again. He smiled. Right there, scheduled neatly in his personal calendar by his PA, who’d been put in charge of all the honeymoon plans, was exactly the right way to make things up to Helena. A romantic tour of a Tuscan vineyard, complete with wine-tasting, lunch and perhaps a drive through the countryside. Perfect for the honeymooning couple.
It would mean taking the whole day off to do it properly. If he’d been with Thea, as planned, they’d have spent half a day there then both headed home to catch up with emails, he imagined. But Helena, he suspected, required a different hand. After four days of distance, this needed to be all or nothing.
And Flynn was going all in.
* * *
Helena ignored the first three knocks on her door. She’d stayed up late after dinner working again on the new website and had planned to catch up on her sleep with a well-earned lie-in—especially as it meant she stood a better chance of avoiding her husband at breakfast. The endless awkward pauses and stilted conversations over the dining tables were becoming more than she could bear. Would it be like this in London? She hoped not.
But the fourth knock she couldn’t ignore, especially as the door opened seconds after it.
‘Helena...you’re not up?’ Flynn closed the door behind him and stared at her, a frown line deepening between his eyebrows.
‘It’s only nine-thirty.’ Helena shuffled into a sitting position, glad that she’d slept in her comfortable shorts and T-shirt instead of the ridiculous negligee. ‘We’re supposed to be on our honeymoon. I’m maintaining the happy couple illusion.’
‘The car’s picking us up in half an hour. You might want to get up.’ Flynn crossed to the bathroom while Helena just blinked at him in confusion. ‘I’ll get the shower running. Give it a chance to warm up for you.’
‘I can run my own shower,’ Helena protested, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. Apparently she was getting up. ‘And, anyway, what car?’
She heard the sound of water running and Flynn re-emerged. ‘The car to take us on our vineyard trip. Didn’t it get put on your calendar? I’ve got it all arranged for us.’
Helena felt that same chill that had overtaken her on her wedding night begin to snake its way through her veins, despite the steam from the shower seeping into the room and the warm summer morning outside.
‘You mean you had it all arranged for you and Thea.’ She was not jealous of her sister, Helena reminded herself. It wasn’t as if she was in love with Flynn either. She just liked to know where she stood, that was all.
‘I arranged it for my wife and me. That’s you, in case you’d forgotten.’
‘Not likely,’ Helena muttered.
Flynn headed back towards the door. ‘Car will be here at ten. I’ll meet you in the foyer.’
And then Helena was alone again, with only the sound of falling water to keep her company.
A vineyard tour. Presumably that included wine-tasting, so things could be worse. Maybe there’d even be lunch. Taking a deep breath, Helena decided to focus on the positive. Paying attention to the good things in life, she’d found, was sometimes the only way to avoid drowning in the despair of all the bad things.
So—good things only.
The sun was shining, the new website was going well enough that she’d earned a break, and she would have wine and food in the sunshine today. Maybe she could even talk the maid into coffee and something resembling breakfast before they left, if she was quick.
Lots of good things to distract from the one awful thing. It was going to be a good day.
Forcing a smile, she hopped in the shower, washing away her bad mood with the soap suds. By the time she emerged again, the maid had left coffee and a pastry on the chest of drawers and Helena sipped and nibbled happily as she flicked through her wardrobe to find something suitable for a newly married woman on her honeymoon, taking a tour with her husband.
She really hadn’t packed for this. Mostly, she’d just been working in shorts and a T-shirt so far. But today’s trip seemed important to Flynn, so she guessed it should be important to her, too. Maybe they’d even manage to learn how to speak to each other again. That kind of milestone required more than a pair of shorts, Helena decided.
In the end, she settled on a sunny yellow cotton dress, patterned with daisies around the hem, and slipped her feet into white sandals. She twisted her wet hair into a knot at the back of her head, knowing it would dry quickly enough in the sun and give her pretty waves when she let it down that evening. Even with ten minutes to add sun protection and a little light make-up, she was still ready well before ten.
Grabbing her straw hat and bag, she headed down the stairs to find Flynn already in the entrance hall.
‘You were quick,’ Flynn said with a smile. ‘I thought I’d be waiting a while for you.’
‘Shows how little you know me.’ Helena arched her eyebrows. ‘I’m very efficient—when I want to be.’
‘Well, thank you for your efficiency.’ He glanced away for a moment before meeting her gaze again. ‘I’m sorry we haven’t had much time to spend together so far this week. With Zeke’s surprise coup, getting Dad to make me CEO, things are frantic at work, making sure everything’s in place.’
‘I understand,’ Helena said as coolly as she could. ‘I had work to do too, anyway.’
Flynn blinked and Helena realised he probably hadn’t even known she had a job, beyond helping out with his wedding. Irritation rose in her chest. Rosebud Interiors might not be much compared to the might of Morrison-Ashton, but it was still her company.
‘That’s good, then,’ he said. ‘Maybe you can tell me more about it over lunch?’
Some of the irritation faded away when she realised he did sound honestly interested. ‘Yeah, okay.’
‘Great. Well, then, let’s get going.’ Flynn held out an arm for her. After a moment she took it and was rewarded by a warm private smile. ‘I’m looking forward to a day out with my wife.’
Helena beamed back, an unexpected warmth blossoming inside her despite herself at the words ‘my wife’. Maybe this day wouldn’t be all bad.
