Читать книгу Welcome to Mills & Boon - Jennifer Rae - Страница 44
ОглавлениеNo. Tanner had decided. He wouldn’t be telling Cassie anything about the girl who’d cheated on him with his brother and when she’d gotten pregnant how Doug had bailed on his responsibility. Or that his brother had taken the money put in trust for Tanner when he reached twenty-one, and used it to fund his partying and gambling. It had ended badly. For him. For Doug. For everyone. But telling tales wasn’t his style. And it had been twelve years ago. There was no point in rehashing old betrayals.
“Still protecting him?”
Ruthie’s voice got his attention again. “I just don’t want anyone to get hurt unnecessarily.”
“Anyone?” Her silvery brows came up. “You mean Cassie Duncan?”
“I mean anyone,” he emphasized.
“She should be told,” Ruthie said, relentless. “Putting him on a pedestal won’t change the truth. You were too quick to forgive and forget.”
I haven’t forgiven.
Not yet. It was why he’d come back. Why he had to make things right for his nephew.
Losing Leah had hurt. Even though their relationship was new and filled with the usual teenage angst, he’d fallen for her quickly. Four months later she’d announced she was pregnant and in love with his brother. But Doug made it clear he didn’t want her or the baby and skipped town, taking Tanner’s inheritance with him. Unable to get past such a betrayal, it was all the motivation Tanner needed to pack his bags and leave Crystal Point. He spent close to two years backpacking in Europe before Doug finally tracked him down and by then Leah and the baby she’d tragically miscarried were a distant memory to his brother. Doug returned some of the money, said he was sorry, and Tanner did his best to believe him. But the experience had forever changed their relationship. He came home, stayed with Ruthie for a month and then moved to South Dakota.
And he’d never really looked back.
Until now.
Until Cassie.
But he’d already loved one woman who’d preferred his brother. He wasn’t about to do that again. No matter how much her blue eyes haunted his dreams.
Still, he was tired of being angry. Tired of resenting Doug and wishing things were different. Tired of living in the past. For years Tanner had battled the anger he’d felt toward his brother. It had kept him shut off and restrained in relationships with almost everyone he knew. Except for Ruthie and his closest friend, Grady Parker, who knew some of what happened between him and his brother.
Almost losing his life in the accident had shifted his perspective. Tanner didn’t want to be angry anymore. He wanted to live the rest of his life without blame and bitterness. And to do that he had to truly forgive Doug. Only then would he find the peace of mind he craved.
“I know what I’m doing,” he assured the old woman sitting opposite.
But he was pretty sure she didn’t believe it.
She nodded anyway. “So, you gonna stay there tonight?”
“No,” he replied. “I’ll check into a hotel in Bellandale.”
“Nonsense,” she huffed. “You’ll stay here.”
Tanner grinned. “You know, you’re getting bossy in your old age.”
“Hah...I’ve always been bossy.” Ruthie’s throaty laugh made him smile. “Besides, I’ve got a new colt that needs breaking.”
Tanner tapped his leg. “I’m not quite back in the saddle yet.”
“No problem. I just need help mouthing and long reining.” Ruthie’s brows came up and she grinned. “You still look fit enough for that. As long as you can do it without whining like a girl.”
Tanner laughed loudly. Ruthie always cheered him up. He left a short time later and headed back to Cassie’s. She was in the front yard when he pulled into the driveway. Oliver’s stroller was parked nearby in the shade and Mouse sat by the front wheels. She wore cutoff jeans, a gray T-shirt, trainers and thick gardening gloves. A bougainvillea twisted up and across the paling fence and she was cutting off some of the biting vines as he approached.
He patted the dog and flipped his sunglasses off. “Gardening?” He stood by the stroller. “Looks like fun.”
Cassie stepped back and turned. “Well, maybe not fun, but necessary at least. I’ve neglected the yard since Oliver arrived. My grandfather always took such pride in his garden.”
Tanner looked around, hands on hips. “It’s a big yard. Perhaps getting someone in would be a better—”
She stiffened. “I can do it.”
“I’m sure you can do anything you set your mind to.” He smiled at the defiance in her expression. “Would you like some help?”
Cassie nodded and bent to collect the gloves. “If you have time. I could make lunch.” She stilled and met his gaze. “Unless you’ve already eaten?”
“No, I haven’t.”
She held out the gloves. “Great. I’ll take Oliver inside and you see if you have any more luck cutting back that vine. See you back in the house in half an hour.”
Tanner grabbed the gloves and clippers and got to work on the overgrown vine. He made short work of it and once the branches were hacked he hauled them into a respectable pile. But the spikes, he discovered, were unforgiving and the razor-sharp thorns bit through his T-shirt. He pulled the shirt off, removed the spikes from the fabric and re-dressed before he headed up the path and toward the house.
He cleaned up in the laundry and Cassie was in the kitchen making sandwiches when he rounded the corner and stalled by the threshold. She looked up instantly and brought plates to the table.
Tanner spotted the stroller by the table. “Is he asleep?”
“Yes. I gave him a small bottle and he went out like a light.”
Tanner walked into the room and peered into the stroller. Oliver’s little face looked peaceful. It occurred to him that he might be able to help out with the baby. “You don’t...you know...feed him yourself?”
Her brows came up slowly. “Do I breast-feed, you mean?”
Tanner tried to ignore the ridiculous heat that crawled up his neck. “Yeah.”
She shook her head. “I did for a few weeks. But after that I couldn’t.” She shrugged and walked back to the countertop. “Sometimes it happens that way. I was unwell and after Doug—”
“It’s okay, Cassie,” Tanner said quickly. “You don’t have to explain.” No, because he understood. The man she loved was dead, she had a new baby and she was faced with the knowledge that the home she’d lived in most of her life was about to be pulled from under her feet. It wasn’t difficult to figure out why she’d struggle to nurse her son.
She shrugged again and he was sure he saw moisture in her eyes before she blinked and turned toward the refrigerator. Half a minute later she returned to the table and sat down.
“Where’d you go this morning?” she asked and pushed a plate toward him.
“Ruthie’s,” he explained.
She nodded. “Ruthie Nevelson? She sent me a card when Oliver was born. Doug never visited her much. I guess you’re closer to her than he was.”
“I guess,” he said. “I always spent my summers with Ruthie once school was out. Doug was in the army by then.”
Cassie looked up and smiled. “My friend Lauren and I used to swipe oranges from her tree when we were kids. Funny,” she said and toyed with her sandwich. “We never saw you there. I mean, Crystal Point is a small town—you’d think we would have crossed paths at some point.”
We did.
But Tanner didn’t say it. Even though the memory was etched into his mind. At thirteen they’d met briefly. It was fourteen years later that he met her again. And by then she was Doug’s girlfriend and hadn’t remembered those few moments on the beach so many years earlier.
“I was usually hanging out with my friends,” he said, taking a sandwich and smiling. “No time for girls back then.”
“And now?” she asked, grinning slightly. “Is there someone in the picture?”
He shrugged one shoulder. “No one at the moment.”
“But there was?”
Another shrug. “For a while. It wasn’t all that serious.”
In truth, Tanner hadn’t ever been completely committed in a relationship. For a time, with Ash, he’d thought they might have a future. But it had faded quickly once they realized they were better as friends than lovers. It had ended over a year ago and he hadn’t been inclined to pursue anyone since.
“But you want to settle down eventually?”
“Eventually,” he replied and took a bite of the sandwich.
“In South Dakota? I mean, you’re settled there?”
He nodded. “Cedar Creek is a good town, with good people.”
“Like Crystal Point?” she asked.
“There are similarities,” he said. “Small towns tend to breed a certain kind of people.”
“I suppose they do.” She stared into her plate, and then spoke a little wistfully. “Doug didn’t share the same beliefs about small-town life. He never seemed happy here.”
“It just wasn’t his...fit,” Tanner said. “The military was his home.”
She nodded. “Maybe that’s why he found it so hard to come back. Even when he did he was always...” She stopped, paused, clearly thinking and not wanting to say too much. “He was always a little unsettled.”
Tanner knew that. And knew why. “He wasn’t the settle-down type, I guess.”
He quickly picked up the way her eyes shadowed. “That’s what he used to say about you.”
“I mean, he wasn’t the type to settle down to a life as a cane farmer.”
“I know what you meant,” she said, bristling, and pushed the plate forward. “I’m not completely blind to who he was.”
There was pain in her words and he gave himself a mental jab. “He did love you,” Tanner said and immediately wished he hadn’t.
Her eyes lost their luster, as if she was thinking, remembering. “Not enough to come home.” She stood and pushed the chair back. “I shouldn’t have said that. Doug’s gone. Wishing for him to be different is unfair.”
“Cassie, I didn’t mean to—”
“I need to run a few errands myself this afternoon,” she said through a deep breath. “I shouldn’t be too long.”
Tanner stood and looked at her half-eaten lunch. “I’ll finish in the garden while you’re gone if you like. And head off when you get back.”
“Fine,” she said and within seconds had wheeled the stroller from the room.
* * *
“What’s he like?”
Cassie raised her gaze toward her best friend Lauren and rocked Oliver in her arms.
He’s a gorgeous, sexy cowboy who makes my pulse race.
“He seems nice.”
Lauren’s brows shot up. “Seems nice?”
She shrugged again. “What do you want me to say? I hardly know Tanner.”
“Apart from what Doug told you?”
True. Only, everything Doug had said about his brother didn’t seem to match the man she’d come to know over the past twenty-four hours.
“Okay, maybe he’s not the brooding loner Doug made him out to be. Although I’m not going to make too many judgments after one day.”
Lauren nodded. “But he wants to be a part of Oliver’s life?”
“That’s what he said.”
“And he’s selling the house?”
Cassie drew in a breath. “That’s also what he said. There’s a large mortgage.”
“I’m sorry,” Lauren said after a long pause. “I know it isn’t what you’d hoped.”
“I knew it might come to this,” she said, hurting all over at the thought of losing her home, but determined to put on a brave face. “And it’s only a house. I’ll make a home for Oliver somewhere else.”
“You can stay with us,” Lauren offered. “You’ll always be welcome.”
Cassie blinked back the heat in her eyes. “Thanks, but I’ll be fine.”
“You don’t look fine,” Lauren said, clearly concerned. “You look pale and tired.”
“It’s just a headache,” she said and managed a smile.
She did have a headache. And a scratchy throat and a quickly growing lethargy. But she didn’t admit she was feeling increasingly unwell as the day progressed. Lauren’s fiancé was a doctor and her friend would have had her under the stethoscope in a heartbeat if Cassie said she was feeling ill.
“If you’re sure,” Lauren said, still looking concerned. “Just be careful. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
Cassie tapped her own chest. “I’m impervious to hurt,” she said with a wry grin. “Tough as nails, you know that.”
But she knew her friend didn’t believe it.
By the time Cassie bundled Oliver into the car and pulled into the driveway it was well past four o’clock. She noticed immediately how the once out-of-control bougainvillea vine was now three piles of tightly bound cuttings and what remained of the hedge had also been carefully clipped back. Plus, the lawn was mowed and the scent of fresh cut grass lingered in the air.
Tanner had been busy. In a matter of hours the front yard was transformed into a neat and tidy copy of what it had once been—before Doug’s death, before the bills had piled up and she’d taken leave from her job and had to watch every penny she spent.
Inside, Cassie headed straight for the kitchen and made up formula for Oliver.
She could hear the shower running and once the baby was fed she carried him to the nursery, laid him on the changing table and stripped off his clothes.
“Hey there.”
She stilled and turned. Tanner stood in the doorway—hair damp, wearing washed-out jeans and a black collared T-shirt that looked way too good on his broad-shouldered frame. “Hi.”
“Did you have a good afternoon?”
Cassie nodded, trying to ignore the throb at her temple. “I went to see my friend Lauren.”
“Ah, the orange thief?” he said with a grin.
Cassie laughed softly. “Yes. Were your ears burning?”
He grinned. “Talking about me, eh?”
“Maybe a little,” she replied. “I’m going to give Oliver a bath now.”
“Sure.”
She took the baby into her arms. “Thanks for doing the yard.”
“No problem.”
Cassie felt the warmth of his stare through to her bones and tried to disregard the heat coiling up her legs. He really did have the sexy thing down pat. She willed some good sense into her limbs and headed from the room, conscious of how he moved aside to let her pass. She lingered in the nursery with Oliver after his bath and by the time she’d dressed him in a navy romper suit and settled him down to sleep it was dusk outside.
When Cassie returned to the kitchen she found Tanner talking to Mouse, and the dog was staring up at him, listening intently. Again, she was struck by the image of the man Doug had told her he was, and the contrasting man he seemed in reality. Not closed off and moody. Not a brooding, unfriendly loner.
Not anything like the man Doug had described.
He looked up. “Is Oliver settled?”
“For the moment,” she replied. “He’ll sleep for a couple of hours. His usual routine gives me enough time to have a shower and eat something.”
Tanner checked his watch. “Then I should probably go.”
Something niggled at her. She couldn’t define it. Maybe she didn’t want to. She drew in a long breath and frowned.
“Are you okay?” he asked, watching her.
Cassie nodded. “I’ve had one of those daylong headaches.”
He laughed and then must have realized how insensitive it sounded. “Sorry, I was thinking that maybe since I’ve been here for twenty-four hours there was a connection.”
She smiled. “No. Although...”
His brows came up. “Although?”
She shrugged. “Well...you’re not...”
“I’m not...?”
Heat crept up her neck and she searched for the words. “It’s only that you’re not exactly who I thought...” She shrugged again and took a deep breath. “I guess I thought you wouldn’t be so...easy to get along with.”
Tanner rested against the counter and folded his arms. “Compared to what?”
She hesitated as her gaze shifted to the floor. “To the person I thought you were.”
“Who you thought I was,” he said quietly. “Or who Doug said I was.”
Her shoulders came up for a second and then dropped. “I suppose. He said you were quiet and...”
“And what?” Tanner asked when her words trailed. “Indifferent and unfriendly?”
She looked up. “Words to the effect.”
“And what do you think?”
Cassie stepped back. “I think you’re confident and sensible. I think you don’t waste time trying to charm or manipulate people.” She paused and took a breath. “I think you know exactly who you are. And what you want.”
His brown eyes darkened. “And do you?” he asked softly. “Do you know what you want, Cassie?”
At that moment she wanted to run. Everything about him reached her on some base, heady level. She was hot all over and she knew why. Tanner McCord made her remember she was a woman. And it scared her to death.
“Ah...what about dinner,” she said quickly and took a sharp breath. She pointed to the telephone. “I have the number of a great pizza place on speed dial. I mean, unless you want to leave right away.”
He pushed himself off the counter. “Dinner would be good.”
Cassie nodded and left the room. After checking on Oliver she took only minutes to collect fresh clothes and lock herself in the bathroom. She showered and dressed in cargo pants and a sensible blue shirt buttoned up to her throat.
By the time she headed back to the kitchen another half hour had passed and she ducked her head around the corner of the nursery to ensure the baby was still asleep. At the kitchen doorway she stilled. Tanner stood by the counter, one elbow in the air and he tugged at the back of his shirt.
“Something wrong?” she asked and stepped across the threshold.
He swiveled around and dropped his arm. “I think I caught a barb this afternoon.”
“A what?”
“From the vine,” he explained and winced.
Cassie walked toward him. “You’re hurt?”
He shrugged. “I’ll be fine.”
“Do you want me to take a look?”
He took a step back. “I don’t think so.”
Cassie ignored the sudden heat in her cheeks. If he’d been injured pruning the hedge she needed to be sensible and find out how bad it was. “It could get infected.”
“I’m sure it will be—”
“Let’s see,” she said matter-of-factly. “Where is it?”
He hesitated for a moment before moving one shoulder. “Left side.”
Cassie stepped closer. “Okay, turn around.”
He did as she asked and she took a second before reaching out. His shirt was soft between her fingers and she tugged it down a fraction. When she couldn’t see anything other than one incredibly well-defined shoulder blade, Cassie released the shirt.
“It has to come off.”
He turned his head. “What?”
“Your shirt,” she explained. “I can’t see anything. I’m too short.”
“I’m sure it’s not—”
She ignored him, moved back around the countertop and grabbed the small first-aid kit from the bottom drawer. “It won’t take a minute.”
He didn’t seem convinced and hesitated before he shrugged again and then pulled the shirt over his head and dropped it on the table.
And of course she couldn’t look anywhere but at his bare skin.
Sweet heaven.
He didn’t possess the body of a man who spent hours in a gym—but of one who worked outdoors, using and honing muscles every day. His tanned skin looked as smooth as the sheerest silk pulled across pressed steel and the light smatter of hair on his chest was incredibly sexy. He was pure beauty and temptation. And she had to stop thinking about it.
“Turn around please.”
His eyes darkened and Cassie was sure she caught a tiny smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. So, maybe she did sound way too polite and incredibly tense. That was her nature...her way. He turned and Cassie saw where the bougainvillea thorn had pierced his skin directly below his shoulder blade. The spike was easily an inch long and was lodged deep. Cassie opened up the first-aid kit and took out a needle.
“I see it. This is going to hurt,” she said. “You might want to brace yourself against the counter.”
“Sure,” he said and stepped forward, levering his hands on the countertop.
She sterilized the needle and as she moved closer, Cassie tried not to think about his smooth skin and well-defined muscles. Or the fact she picked up the spicy scent of soap and some kind of citrusy shampoo that somehow amplified the awareness she experienced whenever he was near.
With purposeful intent, Cassie reached out and touched him. She sensed rather than felt the tension coiling up his back as her fingertips connected with his skin. She used the needle quickly and started dislodging the thorn.
“Ouch!”
She pulled back. “Don’t be such a baby.”
He jerked his head around and scowled. “Don’t be such a brute.”
Cassie stopped the grin that threatened. “I thought you were a tough cowboy.”
“I thought you were sweet and gentle.”
She sucked in a shallow breath. His words stilled in the air between them. Sweet and gentle? Is that how he saw her? Not lonely and guarded and desperate to keep her distance?
“Is that who Doug said I was?”
He didn’t respond immediately. “Yeah, of course he did.”
Cassie ignored the stab of guilt, grabbed the tweezers and extracted the barb. “All done,” she said and stepped back.
Tanner turned and she was faced with the solid wall of chest. She noticed a long faded scar below his rib cage, but other than that there was nothing imperfect about him. Her belly swayed and she got mad with herself. Being attracted to Tanner was out of the question.
Perhaps one day she’d find someone to share her life—a friend, a lover, a husband. Someone who she could love and who would welcome the role as father to her son. But not yet. She wasn’t ready. And she certainly had no intention of paying too much attention to the burgeoning attraction she had for the man in front of her.
Still, it was easy to get drawn into the warm depths of his liquid brown eyes. Easier still to stare at his broad shoulders and satin-smooth skin. Heat crept over her skin. Maybe I have a fever? Yes, that had to be it. She was unwell. Out of sorts. It had nothing to do with his brown eyes and broad shoulders.
“Cassie?”
His voice brought her stare upward and she locked his gaze as the air flamed, swirling up as it coiled around them. And suddenly she couldn’t pretend it was anything other than raw attraction. Chemistry. Undeniable and absolutely unwanted.
And from nowhere, a sudden memory kicked in. She’d felt it once before, long ago. She’d all but forgotten that hot summer when she was thirteen. She recalled the boy who’d captured her attention on the beach one late afternoon. Her first crush. Her first kiss. The fluttering in her belly caused a familiar rush and she quickly pushed the memory away.
“I should check Oliver,” she said on a shallow breath.
A car pulled out outside.
“Our pizza,” Tanner said and grabbed his shirt off the table. “Thanks for the first aid. I’ll be back with our dinner.”
He walked from the room and Cassie stared after him. Being around Tanner was a mistake. Maybe the biggest of her life.
