Читать книгу Welcome to Mills & Boon - Jennifer Rae - Страница 45
ОглавлениеTanner sensed the change in Cassie’s mood the moment she returned to the kitchen. He couldn’t miss the tension in her expression as they ate and afterward when she refused his offer to help clean up. Uncomfortable by the sudden awkwardness, he left her alone for a while. The awareness between them was hard to deny and he wondered if she realized he was attracted to her and that’s why she seemed so closed off. He headed back to the guest room and packed his bag and dropped it in the hallway. Tanner was in the living room looking at the photographs on the mantel when she came into the room some twenty minutes later.
“Everything all right?” he asked and propped the photo of Doug back on the shelf.
“Fine,” she replied and pointed to the photograph. “That was taken years ago. I don’t have anything current, in case you wanted a copy.”
“I have photos,” he said and turned. “But thanks.”
She nodded. “I also have Doug’s things stored away in the spare room. You’re welcome to go through the boxes and see if there’s anything you’d like to keep.”
“Won’t you want those as keepsakes for his son?”
“I’ve selected a few things already. And I have several videos Doug made while he was on tour. Oliver will know his father.”
He heard the dig and wondered why she was so tense. It’s not as if she owed him any explanations—about anything. “You know, not every conversation we have has to be a battle.”
Her eyes flashed brilliantly. “I don’t—”
“You act like I’m the enemy.”
She crossed her arms and sighed heavily. “Can you blame me?”
He wasn’t sure what she was getting at and shrugged. “Which means?”
“I’ve been in limbo for months, Tanner. Maybe I did shove my head in the sand when it came to the house and Doug’s estate, but that doesn’t make me any less shocked that you’ve turned up and now I’m faced with the prospect of leaving the only home I’ve known since I was a young girl.”
Tanner’s insides contracted. “I didn’t come here to make things harder for you,” he assured her. “On the contrary...”
Her brows came up. “Do you think your being here would make things easier?” She shook her head. “The fact is, you’re a walking, talking reminder of exactly how much my life is about to change.”
Of course he would be. So the sooner he did what he had come to do and then got back to his own life, the better.
“I have no intention of disrupting your life.”
“Do I seem so naive to you, Tanner?” She took a couple of steps farther into the room and seemed to waver on her feet. “Your very presence is a disruption.”
She wanted him gone...that was evident enough. “I’m sorry you feel that way, Cassie. Be assured that as soon as I have the estate sorted I’ll be returning to South Dakota. But as I said yesterday, Oliver is my nephew, the only family I have, and I’d like to play some role in his life.”
“As what?” she asked quietly. “The absent uncle?”
Tanner pushed back the irritation weaving through his blood. Obstinate, infuriating woman. “I’m here now. And I’d like to stay in contact once I go home. It’s what Doug would have wanted.”
Her brows came up. “Is it?” She paled and an uneasy silence filled the room. When she spoke again her voice was unusually raspy. “Are you sure about that? You and Doug weren’t exactly close.”
“Things between us improved these last few years.”
There was some truth in his words. His brother had tried, in his way, to mend their broken relationship. And Tanner had cautiously let him back into his life. He’d returned to Crystal Point on two occasions to see Doug and his brother had briefly visited his ranch in Cedar Creek six months before his death.
She raised her chin. “He never did tell me why you were estranged.”
Tanner’s stomach tightened. “It was a misunderstanding that happened years ago.”
“Really?” Her brows came up. “What kind of misunderstanding?”
He shrugged. Tanner had no intention of telling her about Leah or the money or anything else from his past. “It doesn’t matter now.”
She raised her chin in that stiff, determined way he was getting used to. “So you won’t tell me?”
“No.”
She laughed, the sound brittle in the room. “Well, Doug did say you had a stubborn, unforgiving streak.”
He tensed. Of course his brother would have said that. Doug wasn’t one to take responsibility for his actions or his mistakes.
Her expression narrowed. “What was your relationship like when you were kids?”
“Good,” he replied truthfully. “But with twelve years between us we were never really kids together.”
She nodded. “You said Doug joined the army at twenty-one and sent you to boarding school?”
“That’s right.” He named the school that was about two hundred miles west of Bellandale.
“Were you happy there?”
It seemed an odd question. “I’ve never really thought about it.”
She pushed on. “You’d just lost your parents, correct? Why do you think Doug made the decision to send you away when you were so young?”
“He joined the army,” Tanner said. “I guess he did what he thought was the best thing at the time.”
Cassie didn’t look completely convinced. “But what did you think?”
He opened his mouth to speak, then clamped it tightly shut. She stared at him, looking intrigued and a little confused. He drew in a slow breath. “I thought... I suppose I thought I’d been abandoned.”
“Did you ever tell him that?”
Silence stretched like elastic for a moment. Finally, he spoke. “I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone that.”
“Then thank you,” she said. “For not dismissing the question. I suppose I’m trying to understand why Doug would have done such a thing. I mean, you really only had each other.”
“What twenty-one-year-old wants to be saddled with a kid? Especially someone like...”
Tanner stopped when he saw her expression shift. He met her gaze and waited for her to speak.
“You mean, someone like Doug?” she asked, her voice a bare whisper. When he didn’t respond she spoke again. “You know, don’t you?”
Tanner shrugged a little. “I know what?”
“You know Doug wasn’t exactly thrilled about the idea of having a baby?”
Wasn’t exactly thrilled? His brother had flat-out said kids weren’t in his plans—ever.
“I know he had some reservations.”
She shrugged and maintained her resilient look. “It was a shock, that’s all. We’d never talked about children and when I found out I was pregnant I was surprised at first. When I told Doug, he didn’t...well, he wasn’t happy about it.”
He knew the story. Doug had no intention of ever being a father to his child and Tanner knew his brother would have told Cassie that very thing had he lived.
“I’m sure it was the shock, like you said.”
As he said the words and tasted the lie, Tanner knew he had to keep the truth from her. It would hurt her deeply if the truth ever came out.
“I suppose we’ll never know,” she said, softer still.
Tanner shrugged fractionally. “I should get going.”
“Are you heading into Bellandale?” she asked.
“No,” he replied. “I’m going to crash at Ruthie’s for a few days. But I’d like to drop by tomorrow afternoon to see Oliver if that’s okay?”
“Of course.”
“Good night, Cassie. I’ll see myself out.”
She nodded and watched him leave. Tanner grabbed his bag from the hall and headed through the front door and realized that leaving was the last thing he wanted to do.
* * *
When Cassie sat up in bed at six the next morning she knew the headache and scratchy throat she’d been harboring for days had finally taken hold. But Oliver’s cries made her ignore her pains, push back the covers and roll off the mattress. She changed into jeans and a T-shirt, took a couple of aspirin and worked through her sluggishness. It was well past the half hour by the time she’d fed him and then made herself some soothing peppermint tea.
But Oliver was unsettled for most of the morning and in between doing two loads of washing and putting a casserole in the slow cooker, she took him for a long walk. When she got home it was after three and she gave him a bath and a bottle before putting him to bed for a nap.
And even though her head hurt and her throat ached, she kept thinking about what had transpired over the past forty-eight hours. She thought about Doug. And Tanner.
The brothers clearly had a much more complex relationship than she’d realized and Cassie knew that the undivided faith she’d always held in the man she’d loved—the man who had fathered her child—was unexpectedly under threat. Why would Doug have sent a vulnerable and grieving child to a boarding school so far away from the only home he’d ever known? It seemed incredibly callous and at odds with the man she knew. The man she’d thought she knew.
A man she clearly hadn’t known.
He’d charmed her with his smile and humor and she’d never really questioned his honesty or integrity.
Until now.
And Tanner? He was very different from the man Doug had described. He wasn’t moody and indifferent. In fact, he was the complete opposite. And she was as confused as ever.
With her headache worsening and her whole body slowly succumbing to an unusual lethargy, by four o’clock Cassie grabbed the baby monitor, made tea and then curled up on the sofa in front of the television.
She drifted off to sleep and was plagued by dreams. Of Oliver. Of her parents. Of Doug. And of Tanner. Of his warm brown eyes and sexy smile. When she awoke she discovered a throw had been laid over her bare arms. The monitor was gone from its spot on the coffee table and she sat up quickly. Oliver. The headache hadn’t abated and she pressed a hand to her temple. It was dark outside and the lamp in the corner gave off a soft glow. Someone was in her house. With the monitor missing, the lamp on and throw draped across her, it was the only explanation. Perhaps Lauren had stopped by? Or M.J.? Both her friends knew where she hid the spare key.
Her legs were heavy as she stood and Cassie rested her knuckles on the side of the sofa for support as she ditched the throw and slipped her shoes back on. She swallowed hard and winced at the stinging pain in her throat. She left the room and headed down the hall toward the nursery. No Oliver. Her heart raced and she rushed down the hallway. And heard voices. Well, one voice. One very familiar, deep and hypnotic voice. She came to a halt in the doorway and listened as Tanner spoke to her son, who he held gently in the crook of one arm while he whisked eggs in a bowl with his free hand.
“—and it won’t be a truly superb omelet, of course, without peppers...but it will do. Did you know your daddy was allergic to eggs? I suppose we’ll find out if you inherited that from him soon enough. Since you’ve already had your bottle you might even think about shutting those big eyes of yours and getting some sleep.”
“Tanner?”
He stopped talking and whisking and looked toward the door. “Hey there.” He turned Oliver around. “Look whose awake, little man. Mommy.”
She smiled at her beautiful baby and then looked at the man holding him. “What are you doing here?”
“I said I’d drop by, remember,” he reminded her. “And I knocked, around four-thirty. Your door was unlocked.”
Cassie felt too unwell to reproach herself for leaving the front door unlocked and then crashing on the sofa. Crystal Point was a safe place...but still...it was irresponsible. Especially with a baby in the house. Although she doubted Mouse would let an intruder in without alerting her. Speaking of which...
“Where’s my dog?”
“In the backyard,” he explained. “Fed and waiting to be let back in, I’m sure.”
Cassie nodded. “You let me sleep.”
“You seemed to need it.”
She shrugged and tried to ignore the pain in her head. She really was feeling worse with every passing moment. “I guess I did.” She looked toward her baby. “He’ll need changing before he’s put down for the night.”
“Done,” Tanner said and moved toward her. “I’m somewhat of a dab hand with a diaper these days. I had practice with Grady’s kids when they were babies.”
Her brows came up. “And you’re making dinner?”
“To order,” he replied and grinned. “If you don’t like omelet.”
Cassie thought about her wavering stomach. “Actually, I put a casserole on this afternoon,” she said and pointed to the slow cooker on the counter. “But I might just have some soup a little later.”
“Soup it is. But first I’ll put this little guy to bed.”
Normally she would have protested. But the headache and wobble in her knees was getting steadily worse and she didn’t quite trust her balance. “That would be great. Thanks.”
Once he left the room Cassie sank into a chair and rested her arms on the table. When Tanner returned she was still in that position.
“Everything okay?”
She nodded and sighed heavily. “Just tired I guess. Thank you for watching Oliver.”
“My pleasure,” he said and came around the table. “He’s a good baby. You know, you don’t look so great. Are you sure you’re all right?”
“I think I’ll—”
She stopped as his hand reached out and he rested it against her forehead. “You’re burning up.”
Cassie’s skin tingled from his touch and she pulled away fractionally. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. You have a fever.”
She shook her head and pushed the chair back. “I’ll be okay. I only need some rest,” she insisted and stood. But her legs wavered and she gripped the edge of the table for support.
“Like hell. You’re sick.”
And without another word Tanner scooped her up into his arms.
By the time she had the strength to protest he was down the hallway and had shouldered her bedroom door open and placed her gently on the edge of her bed. “Now get some rest.”
“You didn’t have to pick me up,” she protested feebly, pushing back her embarrassment and trying not to think about how it felt to be held against his broad chest. He was still recovering from an injury and the last thing he needed was to damage his leg again. “I could have walked.”
“And fallen over most likely,” he said. “You need to take care of yourself, Cassie.”
“I will. I do. I have a headache, that’s all. It’ll pass once I get some rest.”
“You have a fever,” he insisted as he strode toward the bed and pulled the comforter back. “I’ll bring you some water. Where do you keep your aspirin?”
She rolled her eyes. “In the pantry, top shelf, but I really think I—”
“Be back in a minute.”
She watched him leave the room and then rounded out her shoulders. The man certainly was stubborn. She flipped off her shoes and shimmied farther onto the mattress.
When Tanner returned she pasted on a grateful smile. He passed her a glass of water and a couple of painkillers. “Thank you. I appreciate your concern,” she said and looked at him over the rim of the glass. “Even if you are being bossy.”
“If it gets you into bed, then I’ll do what I have to.”
Cassie was sure he didn’t mean to sound so suggestive, but once the words were out the air in the room seemed thicker, hotter, as if a seductive wind had blown through the opened doorway. She looked at him, felt the heat rising between them and desperately willed it to go away. But no. It stayed. And grew. And made her mounting awareness of him bloom into a heady, full-blown attraction. It’s because he’s handsome and sexy and friendly, that’s all. She’d have to be a rock not to notice, right?
She said his name and waited for several seconds while he continued to watch her and the heat in Cassie’s blood intensified and her cheeks burned. Her skin was on fire and she wondered how much it had to do with her fever, and how much had to do with the man standing beside her bed. She’d never experienced anything quite like it before and despite the headache, sore throat and fever, Cassie knew that whatever she was feeling, he was feeling it, too.
But how? Why? Cassie didn’t have any illusions about herself. She wasn’t beautiful or glamorous or overly smart. She was pretty at best. The same ordinary girl she’d been all her life. A single mother. The mother of his brother’s child. The very reason they shouldn’t be looking at one another with such scorching desire.
Finally, he spoke. “I should go. Get some rest, Cassie.”
“Oliver will—”
“I’ll take care of the baby. Just rest.”
He left the room quickly and Cassie stared after him.
Okay...so they had...chemistry.
It didn’t have to go anywhere. It wouldn’t. It couldn’t. She was Oliver’s mother. She had a child to think about and fantasizing about a man like Tanner wasn’t going to do anyone any good. She dropped back onto the bed and pulled the covers up. Her head hurt, her throat hurt, even her bones ached. Maybe he was right about getting some rest.
I just need to sleep and clear my head.
By tomorrow she’d be over it. And over her attraction for Tanner.
There was no other option.
* * *
Around ten the following morning Tanner found Cassie’s cell phone and called her friend Lauren. Within an hour she and her doctor fiancé were on the doorstep. Cassie’s fever had become progressively worse overnight and by morning she was burning up and clearly unwell. He managed to get her to take some more aspirin and drink a little water just before midnight and she woke again after seven, coughing and shaking from the chills.
“You were right to call us,” Lauren said when she came from Cassie’s room and met him in the nursery. “Gabe said she has a mild flu. I’ll arrange for some medicine to be delivered as soon as possible. That and a few days’ rest and she should be fine.” She looked at him and smiled. “You don’t seem surprised by the diagnosis.”
“I’m not,” he replied and held Oliver against his chest. He wasn’t about to explain he’d spent most of the night alternating between the chair in Cassie’s room to make sure he was close by if she needed anything, and the sofa in the living room. If he’d thought it was something more serious than mild influenza he would have bundled her in the car and taken her to hospital. “But I’m pleased she’ll be okay.”
Lauren gently touched the baby’s head. “You stayed last night?”
“Of course.”
She nodded slowly. “Well, I’m glad that you’re here to look after...things. However, we can take Oliver home with us if you—”
“No,” he said quickly. “That’s not necessary. I’ll stay until Cassie’s feeling better. And I’m sure she’d prefer that Oliver remain here.”
He thought she might insist, but Lauren only nodded. “You’re probably right. Let me know if you need anything. You have my number.”
They left a few minutes later and Tanner quickly checked on a restlessly sleeping Cassie before he headed for the kitchen to feed Oliver. He’d become quickly attached to the little guy and was enjoying the time he got to spend with his nephew. Oliver was a placid baby and caring for him made Tanner think about the prospect of having children of his own. One day. He was surprised how much he liked the idea. The ranch could be a lonely place and more so than ever before, he let himself imagine a couple of kids running across the yard to the house and then along the wide verandah. And a woman...a wife. Someone to talk to. Someone with soft skin and warm hands to curl up with at night. Tanner liked that idea, too.
He’d spent so many years pouring all his energy in his horses, building the ranch and trying to live in the present and forget the past he’d somehow ignored the future. But being with Cassie made him think about it.
No, he corrected immediately. It was Oliver who got him thinking. Cassie was just... She was just the girl who’d sparked his interest all those years ago on the beach. Being around her brought back those memories, that’s all. He had a handle on his attraction for her. And he’d forget all about it once he went home.
Only, last night he could have sworn he saw something in her eyes...a look...a connection...and it was something he hadn’t expected. Because she’d loved Doug.
Which means she can never be mine.
He shook the feeling off. The less he thought about Cassie being his or anyone else’s, the better. Tanner put the baby down for a nap and then took a quick shower. He dressed back into his jeans and padded barefoot down the hall toward the spare room. He rummaged around and found some of Doug’s clothes hanging in the wardrobe. He pulled out a shirt and slipped it on. It was a little tight in the shoulders and baggy around the waist, but it would do. He stayed in the room for a while and flipped through a few of the boxes. He found his brother’s uniforms neatly packed inside one box and another smaller carton held his medals. Tanner sat for a while, looking at the collection of memories. What would Doug make of him being with Cassie and Oliver? Would his brother be angry? Resentful? Would he eventually have come around to the idea of being a father to Oliver?
Tanner didn’t think so. Doug liked his freedom. Strange, then, that he’d joined the military. But Tanner understood why. His brother needed the army to give him companionship. And to give him solitude. Within the corridors of discipline and routine he found the family he’d needed. He’d bonded with people who understood him, who were like him, who had his back. Tanner knew his brother had never felt that with his real family. When their parents were killed Doug was already estranged from them. He’d never fit into the life on the farm. He’d never wanted to work the sugarcane and small herd of cattle. Doug had bailed at eighteen and headed for the city, where he worked a succession of transient jobs. After their parents’ accident he returned and reclaimed what he believed was his...and promptly sold off Tanner’s legacy.
Then came Tanner’s years at boarding school. During that time he learned to despise his brother...and yet still love him. He was family. And family was everything. Despite the repeated betrayals. Despite Doug’s behavior with Leah. Despite the mishandled inheritance. Despite all of it, a part of him still wanted to believe in the idea of brotherhood.
Tanner ignored the heavy feeling in his chest, folded the box shut and got to his feet. He headed to the kitchen, heated up some soup he found in the pantry and carried a tray into Cassie’s room.
She was sleeping and he was pleased that the racking cough that had kept her awake for most of the morning had abated for a while. Tanner slipped the tray onto the bedside table and watched her for a moment. She stirred and let out a soft moan. The soft hum of the humidifier he’d found in the nursery cupboard and set up by the bed was the only other sound in the room. He noticed she’d pushed the blanket aside and moved closer to pull the cover back up. She looked peaceful in sleep and as he watched her a strange sensation knocked behind his ribs. For years he’d put her out of his thoughts and programmed himself to not think of her. But when Doug died that changed. He had a blood tie and a responsibility to Oliver. His nephew would never feel what he had when he was a child—alone, abandoned, discarded. He’d always be there for his brother’s son regardless of where he was or what he was doing. Oliver was his only family and family was all that mattered.
And Cassie?
She was Oliver’s mother and that was all she could ever be.
She’d loved Doug. Wanted Doug. Borne his child. Which meant she was off-limits. Despite how being around her messed with his head, his libido and his heart. His attraction to Cassie would fade once he returned to South Dakota and got back to his regular life. He’d put her from his mind before. He could do it again.
One thing he knew for sure...he wasn’t about to fall in love with her.
Not a chance.
