Читать книгу Wife For Real - Jennifer Taylor, Jennifer Taylor - Страница 7

CHAPTER TWO

‘IF YOU’LL excuse me, I’ll just go and phone my father to let him know how everything went. Unfortunately, he hasn’t been well recently and the journey here would have been too much for him today.’

‘Give Adam my regards, Katherine, and tell him I’ll speak to him soon. But hurry back, darling. It’s been far too long since we had any real time together!’

Katherine saw the indulgent glances everyone exchanged and she avoided looking at Jordan as she made her way from the huge marquee which had been set up in the grounds of the Hartleys’ house, and took the path leading down the garden. Telephoning her father had been just an excuse to get away.

She followed the path until it reached the fence which marked the boundary of the property. Resting her arms along the rough wooden bars, she stared towards the distant hills while she tried to get a grip on herself, but it wasn’t easy.

The day had been a nightmare; the effort involved in playing her part had left her drained. Jordan had kept her at his side all afternoon while they had chatted to the other guests. He had been as urbane as ever, yet whenever she had glanced at him he had been watching her with an expression in his eyes which made her feel shaky even now, when she remembered it.

What did Jordan want with her? It was a question she had asked herself a dozen times yet she still didn’t know the answer. She just kept remembering what he had said in the churchyard earlier, about sticking to his side of their bargain.

Had it been said in anger to scare her? Or had there been a deeper intent behind those harshly spoken words? She had no idea, but the uncertainty made her feel sick with fear. She could cope with this marriage but only so long as Jordan didn’t try to make any changes!

A twig suddenly snapped and Katherine swung round, her heart turning over at the thought that Jordan might have followed her. She needed a few minutes by herself to get her emotions under control, although she wasn’t sure that it would be possible even then.

The way Jordan had been acting today seemed to have unleashed a whole torrent of fears so that she felt raw and exposed, as though a defensive layer had been peeled away to leave her more vulnerable than she had felt since the night of their wedding. When Peter suddenly appeared out of the trees, she gave a little gasp of relief.

‘Oh, it’s you!’

Peter paused when he saw her, then slowly walked over to join her. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. What are you doing here, anyway?’

‘I...I just felt like a breath of air,’ she hedged. ‘It’s very hot in the marquee, but everyone seems to be having a wonderful time.’

‘Yes. Diane’s parents have spared no expense in giving her a day to remember. Although perhaps she’ll prefer not to have any reminders of what a mistake she’s made!’

‘What on earth do you mean?’ Katherine felt her heart lurch as she heard the anguished note in her brother’s voice.

‘Nothing. Forget it.’ Peter turned to stare towards the hills, but not before she caught the glimmer of tears in his eyes.

She touched his arm in concern. ‘Obviously something is wrong, Peter. I had a feeling about it earlier, to tell the truth.’ She glanced round and frowned. ‘Where is Diane? Surely you two haven’t quarrelled, have you?’

Peter shook his head. ‘No, of course not. Diane’s in the house getting changed. We’ll be leaving shortly to catch our plane.’ He gave a harsh laugh. ‘The way I feel, I wish we were never coming back!’

‘Peter!’ Katherine stared at him in horror, more concerned than ever as she saw the strain etched into his thin face. ‘Please tell me what’s wrong and if there is anything I can do to help.’

‘There’s nothing you can do, Kitty.’ He gave another of those bitter laughs which were so out of character. ‘There’s nothing anyone can do!’

‘I don’t believe that.’ Katherine took a quick little breath to control the growing feeling of panic. ‘There is always a solution to every problem. It’s just finding it that is difficult sometimes. Tell me what’s wrong, Peter, then maybe we can work something out together.’

‘Like we did when we were kids? After Mother left, it was always you I ran to to solve my problems, wasn’t it? But somehow I don’t think you can help me this time—not unless you happen to have a spare fifty thousand pounds lying around.’

‘Fifty thousand pounds?’ Katherine repeated numbly. ‘Why on earth do you need so much money? It’s a fortune!’

‘Don’t I know it? And I have as much chance of getting my hands on that kind of cash as I have of flying to the moon.’ He ran his hand over his eyes. ‘It will mean the end of Diane and me once she finds out, of course. She’ll never forgive me and neither will her parents. And I love her so much, Kitty! I really do. If only there was a way—’

He stopped abruptly, and when he turned Katherine could see a glitter in his eyes which alarmed her even more.

‘Peter, what is it...?’

His hands clamped on her shoulders so that she winced. ‘Jordan! I should have thought of him before. Will you ask him, Kitty? Ask him to lend me the money? I swear I’ll pay him back somehow.’

Katherine shook her head, stunned by the request. ‘No... I couldn’t possibly. I mean, I don’t even know what you need it for!’

‘Because I’m a bloody fool, that’s why! I let a couple of the fellows I work with talk me into going to this gaming club with them. It was all just a bit of fun at first. I even won a couple of times. Diane was furious when I let slip what I’d been doing. She made me promise never to go again.’

‘But you did go?’ Katherine guessed. ‘And this time you lost? Oh, Peter, how could you be so stupid?’

‘I know. I know! I just kept telling myself that the next time I would win, but it never happened. Now the people I owe the money to are threatening to go to Diane’s parents. They’ve given me two weeks to come up with the cash. Two bloody weeks!’ Peter gripped Katherine even harder. ‘Jordan’s my only hope! Please, please, say that you’ll ask him, Kitty!’

‘I don’t know... I don’t know what to say...’ Katherine felt a lump in her throat as she saw despair settle over Peter’s face as he let her go.

‘I understand. I should never have asked you to do it. I...I’d better get back and see...’

She couldn’t stand it. She couldn’t bear to see him looking so dejected. ‘All right, then, I’ll ask Jordan.’

‘You will?’ Peter gave a whoop of joy as he swung her off her feet. ‘Oh, you don’t know what a weight that is off my mind!’

‘He hasn’t agreed yet,’ Katherine warned him.

‘But he will if you ask him!’ Peter gave her a quick hug. ‘I’d better get back to Diane before she thinks I’ve run out on her. You will ask him as soon as you can, though, Kitty, won’t you? I don’t want those people running to Diane’s parents and causing a fuss while we’re away.’

Katherine opened her mouth to repeat her warning that she wasn’t sure if Jordan would agree, only Peter was already hurrying away. She shivered as she turned to stare towards the shadowy hills again. The thought of asking Jordan for all that money scared her, but what else could—?

‘Well, what are you waiting for, Katherine? They always say there’s no time like the present, so why don’t you get it over with right now and ask me if I’m willing to lend you fifty thousand pounds for Peter. Or are you waiting to catch me at the right moment?’

Jordan gave a soft laugh which made her skin prickle as she turned and saw him standing in the shadow of the trees. ‘Mmm, I’m almost tempted to find out exactly when that is.’

Katherine took a deep breath and tried to close her mind to the nuances she’d heard in his voice, but she could feel ripples of awareness spreading through her, as though he had touched one nerve and all the others were responding.

‘I...I didn’t know you were there,’ she said huskily.

‘No? Never mind; don’t let that deter you.’ He gave another of those disturbing laughs as he came and leant against the fence beside her. He was so close now that she could smell the musky aroma of the aftershave he wore, and she could feel the heat of his body flowing through the thin fabric of her jacket. Suddenly it was as though all her senses were heightened to an almost unbearable degree, so that when his shoulder brushed hers she jumped, and saw the amused look he gave her.

‘Nervous, Katherine? I don’t see why you should be. After all it isn’t the first time you’ve found yourself thrust in at the deep end to help a member of your family out of a sticky situation, is it?’

Katherine’s face flamed as she understood what he meant immediately. It had been the need to help her father out of even worse financial straits that had brought her and Jordan together—although if she’d had any idea of the repercussions she would never have gone through with it!

She turned to glare at him, her grey eyes stormy as they met his mocking blue ones. ‘No, it isn’t new to me, Jordan. However, that doesn’t mean I find it any easier second time around.’ She gave a harsh laugh. ‘In fact, bearing in mind what happened the last time I asked you for help, I must have been mad to let Peter talk me into asking you again!’

Jordan’s lids flickered but his smile never wavered. ‘You got what you wanted, Katherine. Your father has been able to live comfortably ever since. Are you really trying to claim that you would have preferred to see him being dragged through the courts and ending up with nothing more than his name at the end of it?

‘No! Of course I wouldn’t have wanted that to happen. You know very well what I mean, Jordan!’

‘Of course I do. How could I be in any doubt, Katherine?’ His brows rose, his eyes glittering as they centred on her angry face. ‘You have always been totally honest about your feelings towards me, haven’t you?’

Katherine looked away, wondering what there was in the depths of his eyes which made her feel as though she was standing on the edge of some vast precipice, and that one unwary step would send her plunging into its unknown depths. ‘I... don’t think either of us is under any illusion about how we feel. However, that has little bearing on this present situation.’

‘Hasn’t it?’ Jordan’s tone was openly sceptical, the mockery she heard in it making her heart beat even faster.

‘No.’ Katherine’s hands clenched as she turned and stared into the distance while she fought to keep all trace of emotion from her voice. ‘Will you lend Peter the money he needs? That’s all I want to know.’

‘I’m sure it is, but has it never occurred to you that every time you bail Peter out it just makes matters worse? He is old enough to stand on his own two feet, but he’ll never do that while you keep fighting his battles for him.’

Jordan’s tone was scornful, and Katherine reacted immediately to it despite her determination to remain detached. ‘That’s not fair! How on earth can Peter get himself out of this mess?’

‘Not as easily as he apparently got himself into it, Kitty.’

Jordan mocked her with the childhood name, yet it was a measure of how upset her brother had been that he should have used it tonight. The thought made her even angrier. Jordan considered himself so infallible that he couldn’t understand how anyone else could make a mistake!

‘Unfortunately, not everyone is as perfect as you, Jordan! But surely even you could see how upset Peter was? Is it too much to ask that you try to be a little more sympathetic?’

He smiled contemptuously. ‘I imagine that Peter is far more interested in the support I can give him financially rather than emotionally. I shall leave that side of it to you.’ He sighed, sounding suddenly weary. ‘However, this is hardly the place to discuss Peter’s failings. I came to tell you that it’s almost time for him and Diane to leave; so shall we get back to the party? We can sort this out later.’

‘No. We need to sort it out now. I want to be able to tell Peter if you’re going to help him or not. Jordan, wait!’

Katherine felt her temper rise to dizzying heights as Jordan started to walk away. She caught hold of his arm to stop him, determined that he was going to give her an answer. It was only when she felt him go utterly still that she realised what she had done.

She never touched him—not willingly, at least. In the whole year of their marriage not once had she reached out and placed her hand on his arm as she had done just now. Now the shock of the contact spread through her so that her fingers and arm tingled.

There was a moment’s tense silence before Katherine abruptly let him go. She drew a ragged breath of air into her deprived lungs while she avoided looking at him. But she sensed that Jordan was watching her. It disturbed her to wonder what she would see in those deep blue eyes if she looked...

‘It’s still there, isn’t it, Katherine?’ His voice was so low that it barely disturbed the silence of the night, yet she still jumped. Her eyes flew to his face, and what she saw there filled her with fear. Jordan was looking at her with an assurance and a certainty which allowed no room for doubts as he continued in that same soft tone.

‘Despite how much you hate yourself for it, you still feel that same desire for me that you felt on our wedding night.’

‘No!’ Katherine felt the blood drain from her head so fast that she thought she was going to faint. ‘You’re wrong... wrong! I don’t feel anything for you, Jordan. Do you hear me? Nothing at all except... except contempt!’

She tried to push past him, her whole body trembling with the shock of what he had just said. Jordan caught her wrist, his fingers cool and hard as they closed around her flesh to hold her still.

‘Don’t lie, Katherine! We both know what the truth is. Do you think I’m stupid? Do you imagine that I don’t know how you felt on our wedding night?’

‘Yes. You must be stupid, or incredibly arrogant!’ She gave a sharp laugh, then bit her lip as she realised she was verging on hysteria. She forced herself to meet his eyes, wanting desperately to convince him that he was wrong. ‘I know it comes as a shock to you, Jordan, but not every woman falls under your spell. If you want the truth, I hated what happened that night.’

His hands tightened; the violence she sensed in him made her wonder if she had pushed him too far. Then suddenly he gave a deep laugh, mocking, taunting, knowing... so very knowing, which was so much worse.

‘Mmm, is that a fact? You’re sickened by the idea of me making love to you? All you felt that night was revulsion ? Is that what you’re saying, Katherine?’

‘Yes! What does it take to convince you? Is your ego so huge that you can’t accept that I’m telling the truth? I hated you touching me, Jordan. I hated the thought of you anywhere near me!’

‘Like you’re hating me touching you now? Is that why your heart is racing, Katherine?’ He pressed his finger to the pulse which was throbbing at the base of her neck, and let it rest there, so that Katherine could feel its warmth branding her flesh. She jerked back, struggling to free herself, but Jordan was too strong for her to break the hold he had on her.

‘Let me go, Jordan.’

She saw his smile deepen. When he let his finger slide up her neck to come to rest by the corner of her mouth she closed her eyes, terrified of what he might see in them right now—all the turmoil and anguish she felt, all the shame that even now his touch could have such an effect on her.

‘It wasn’t loathing you felt that night, Katherine. Oh, you might have fought me like a she-cat, but it wasn’t because you were disgusted by what was happening—far from it.’ He slid that tantalising finger beneath her chin, forcing her head up. ‘You wanted me, Katherine. You wanted me with a passion that you had never expected, didn’t you? After all, you hadn’t married me because you were in love with me, so how could you have suspected that you would feel like that?’

His voice was like a drug, soft and deep, and so compelling that her eyes opened almost of their own volition. Katherine stared into his face, seeing the truth of what had happened that night—which she had tried so hard to escape from.

‘No. Jordan, I...’

He didn’t seem to hear her as he continued, in that same quiet tone which made a mockery of her halting attempts to deny what he was saying. ‘Maybe I was wrong to do what I did, but it wasn’t planned. It just happened, and for those first few minutes when I took you in my arms you responded to me. You can lie to yourself but we both know I’m right.

‘But tell me this, my sweet, who do you hate most? Me for showing you what you’re capable of feeling? Or yourself because for those few minutes you acted like a real woman, not a scared little girl!’

He let her go, his gaze contemptuous as he strode back up the path.

Katherine watched him go with tears burning in her eyes. She wanted to scream after him that it wasn’t true, but he wouldn’t believe her. Why should he? Both of them knew what had happened that night. One year later she was still paying the price for it.

No matter how hard she tried she could never forget how she had lain in Jordan’s arms and felt for him a passion she never wanted to feel again!