Читать книгу Wife For Real - Jennifer Taylor, Jennifer Taylor - Страница 8

CHAPTER THREE

IT WAS almost three a.m. when Katherine heard the sound of a key in the lock. She hadn’t gone to bed. There had been no point—she had known she wouldn’t be able to sleep.

Jordan had left the reception shortly after Peter and Diane had left for their honeymoon. Katherine wasn’t sure where he had gone but she suspected that it might have something to do with Peter.

She had stayed up, waiting for him to return, longing for him to get back but also dreading it. Of course she wanted to know that Peter had nothing more to worry about, but it was the price Jordan might demand in return for his help which worried her. She knew to her cost the kind of bargain Jordan struck!

He was in the hall taking off his jacket when she opened the sitting-room door. He glanced round, and Katherine realised how exhausted he looked. There were deep lines etched either side of his mouth and his skin looked grey beneath its tan.

‘I thought you would be in bed by now.’ He tossed his jacket onto a hook then leant against the wall as though he was almost too tired to stand up. ‘Should I be touched that you waited up for me?’

The fleeting concern Katherine had felt disappeared at once. She stared coldly back at him, hating the way he kept taunting her like that. It was something he had never done before; it made her wonder a little fearfully what had changed to make him do so now. ‘I assumed that your absence had something to do with Peter’s problems. I wanted to know what had gone on and if you had decided to help him.’

‘Of course.’ Jordan gave a soft laugh which held just a thread of menace. His eyes were cold as he came along the hall, the tiredness in them not quite hiding his contempt. ‘I should have realised that any concern you felt was purely on behalf of your beloved brother. Silly of me to imagine anything else, wasn’t it? I must be more tired than I realised.’

Katherine swung round, refusing to stand there and debate the point when her nerves were already so on edge. ‘I’ll make some coffee. You look as though you could do with some.’

‘Mmm, there’s a lot of things I could do with, my sweet wife, but I doubt I’m going to get them tonight.’

There was a nuance in his voice which brought the colour to her face. Katherine busied herself filling the percolator until she was sure that the colour had faded. Yet, when she glanced round, Jordan was watching her with an expression in his eyes which made her realise he had seen her reaction. The thought unsettled her even more, so that her hands shook and the coffee scattered all over the worktop.

‘Leave it. Instant will do. I’m too tired to wait around for that to be ready, anyway.’

He sat down at the table and closed his eyes as he ran his hand around the back of his neck to ease the aching muscles. Katherine watched him for a second, then hurriedly switched on the kettle and made two mugs of instant coffee. She set them on the table and sat down opposite him.

‘God, what a day!’ Jordan sighed as he opened his eyes and took a sip of the hot liquid. ‘I don’t remember ever being this tired before. Must be jet lag, I suppose.’ He looked up and smiled sardonically. ‘But I don’t expect you’re interested in hearing about my problems, are you, Katherine? I imagine you’re waiting to hear if Peter is off the hook.’

Katherine ignored his sarcasm. ‘And is he?’

Jordan laughed, but it wasn’t a pleasant sound. ‘That’s what I admire about you. You go straight to the important things in your life, and there is nothing quite so important as your brother—oh, and your father, of course. We mustn’t forget him, must we? Not when he was instrumental in bringing us together in the first place. Don’t you feel just the tiniest bit aggrieved with your father for that? Or do you prefer to blame me for this predicament you find yourself in? Married to a man you loathe.’

‘I have no intention of sitting here listening to this!’ Katherine went to get up, shaken by what he had said. It just confirmed all her fears that something had changed. They’d had a tacit agreement not to mention the past, but today Jordan seemed to be taking every opportunity to rake it up. However, with a speed which shocked her, he reached over and caught her hand.

‘Don’t run away. I am merely stating a fact, not trying to start an argument again if that’s what you’re worried about. The only reason you married me, Katherine, was because I had it in my power to save your father from bankruptcy. Neither of us is under any illusion about that.’

He gave her a brooding little smile as his fingers slid up her arm beneath the sleeve of her jacket. They felt cool against her skin and she shivered involuntarily, but Jordan didn’t appear to notice. She was grateful for that, because she felt vulnerable enough without him making anything out of the fact that she trembled when he touched her!

‘I wonder if it would have turned out better if I had been more like the men in your circle, the men who play by the rules you understand—like Charles, for instance. You and Charles seem to get on very well, but then you have so much in common, don’t you?’

‘I cannot see any point in this conversation. How well Charles and I get on has no bearing on this at all!’ she retorted, stung by the way she was reacting to Jordan’s touch.

‘Hasn’t it?’ Something crossed his face, an expression which made Katherine’s breath catch when she saw it. She must be mistaken, she thought wildly, because there was no reason for the sudden rage she could see in his eyes.

‘You’ve been seeing a lot of Charles recently, haven’t you, Katherine? The ballet the other day, probably the opera or an art exhibition as well. Unfortunately, I know very little about such things. But then you and Charles come from very similar backgrounds—a world away from how I was brought up, believe me.’

‘I...I really do not see where this is leading, Jordan. My friendship with Charles is neither here nor there!’

She tried to draw her hand away, but Jordan’s fingers tightened and he gave a harsh laugh. ‘So that’s what you and Charles are—friends? I see.’

‘What do you mean? What do you see? Exactly what are you implying, Jordan?’ Katherine felt her heart leap as she heard the scorn in his voice.

‘Why should I be implying anything?’ His eyes were suddenly hooded as they rested on her angry face. ‘I was merely trying to determine if our marriage could have been a success if I were like the other men you know, but I don’t suppose it would have made a scrap of difference.

‘The last thing you wanted from me or any man was a real relationship, wasn’t it? You were simply willing to trade yourself in exchange for what I could do for your father. Now we shall have to see what you are prepared to do to help your brother.’

‘I imagine it depends on what you ask in return for helping Peter, doesn’t it?’ She gave a bitter laugh, anger washing through her in red-hot waves to chase away the nervousness she felt. How dared Jordan speak to her like that?

‘If we are establishing facts then let’s get them straight. If I was prepared to trade then so were you! Or are you trying to claim that you fell in love with me, and that’s why you wanted to marry me? I don’t think so!’

She dragged her hand free, barely noticing the way his eyes flickered behind his heavy lids. She had no idea why he was acting like this, but if he imagined she was going to sit there and take whatever he cared to dole out then he was mistaken!

‘You wanted a suitable wife who knew how to entertain your clients and I wanted to help my father. Those are the facts. They have nothing to do with Charles or anyone else. It was just that you, with your usual arrogance, decided to change the rules! Our marriage could have been perfectly amicable if you hadn’t taken it upon yourself to show me things you thought I should know!’

She pushed back the chair so that its legs scraped against the tiles. The noise was harsh and discordant. Katherine’s nerves strained at it. She felt incredibly angry. How Jordan felt she had no idea. He was just sitting there staring down at the mug of coffee, his head bowed almost in defeat...

That thought fled from her mind as fast as it had appeared. She had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing hysterically. ‘Defeat’ wasn’t a word Jordan understood!

‘So, are you going to tell me where you went tonight and what happened, or not?’

There was a moment when she thought he wasn’t going to answer, and then he looked up. There was no anger on his face, nothing to show how much he resented the things she had said, but that didn’t fool her. Jordan must be furious about the way she had spoken to him. Her heart lurched as she wondered if it had been wise in the circumstances.

‘Why not? After all, you more than anyone are entitled to know what your brother has been up to, Katherine.’

There was something in his voice, an undercurrent, which made her skin prickle with apprehension. Katherine drew a ragged breath as she recalled what he had said about how far she would be prepared to go to help Peter...

‘Then you had better tell me exactly what you found out, hadn’t you?’ She forced down the fear and struggled to appear composed, but it wasn’t easy. Jordan had more reason than ever to extract a high price for his help!

He smiled narrowly as he picked up his cup. ‘It appears that your brother doesn’t owe fifty thousand pounds after all.’

Katherine blinked in confusion. ‘But why did he say that he did? I don’t understand.’

Jordan slammed the cup down so hard that she jumped. ‘It’s simple. Peter owes closer to one hundred thousand. The fifty grand he needs so urgently is just the start. It just so happens that the owners of one particular club have decided to call in his debt, and I’m sure the rest of his creditors won’t be far behind them once word gets out. From what I was able to discover, Peter owes various sums to at least half a dozen clubs around London.’

‘No!’ Katherine gripped the table as the room swam out of focus. ‘Are... are you sure? It could be some sort of a silly mix-up—even... even a deliberate attempt to extort money. I mean, who’s to say if those people didn’t just tell you that in the hope that you would settle the debt for Peter?’

‘I don’t think so. They wouldn’t be that foolish!’ Jordan’s laughter was harsh, brutal even. In the bright overhead light his face looked tough and uncompromising, with a cold cynicism glittering in his eyes which made her shiver as she saw it.

She knew his reputation, of course. Jordan was a tough negotiator and few who crossed him survived to tell the tale. There had been many articles in the papers about the way he had fought his way to the top with a ruthless determination. He never compromised, never accepted second best, never allowed anything to deter him from his goals. If anyone could help Peter out of this situation then it was Jordan, but what he would expect in return remained to be seen!

She took a quick little breath to control the rush of fear as Jordan continued in the same uncompromising tone. ‘It appears that an attempt was made to contact me once it was realised how deeply in debt your brother was getting. Unfortunately I was out of the country at the time, so the message never reached me.’

Katherine frowned in bewilderment. ‘I don’t understand. Why should these people have contacted you?’

‘Because your brother gave my name as a reference when he asked to extend his credit. Somehow it was allowed to slip through without a proper check being done, and once one club had agreed to the new credit limits the others followed suit. Alarm bells only started ringing when people realised that he was in way over his head, but by then it was too late.

‘Unless Peter finds a way to repay the money he’ll be ruined. There is no way that he’ll be kept on at the Stock Exchange once word gets out, and believe me it won’t take long before that happens.’

‘No!’ Katherine stared at Jordan in despair. ‘Is... is there anything we can do?’

‘That depends.’ Jordan looked down at the mug. When he looked up again, Katherine could see something in his eyes which made her heart beat so fast that she could feel the blood swirling through her veins.

‘On what?’ Her voice was whispery-thin in the silence. She licked her parched lips and made herself repeat the question she didn’t want to ask. ‘What does it depend on, Jordan? What are you saying?’

‘That it is up to you what happens, Katherine. Peter’s future depends on what you decide to do.’

‘I don’t understand...’

‘It’s simple.’ Jordan leant back in the chair as he watched her through narrowed eyes. ‘I am willing to pay everything Peter owes and write off the money so that he doesn’t need to repay me a penny of it. However, there are certain conditions attached to my offer... naturally.’

He made it sound like some sort of business proposition. Katherine wished she could believe it was that simple! Her mind ran wild trying to understand, but she had no idea what he was proposing—that was the trouble. ‘And those conditions are...?’

‘That Peter gets the help he needs to stop gambling. I also expect him to give me a written undertaking, enforceable in a court of law, that he will never use my name again without my permission.’

‘That seems fair.’ Katherine managed a shaky smile. As far as she was concerned Jordan was being more than charitable in the circumstances.

‘That isn’t all, Katherine. There is one other condition attached to my offer. One which concerns you. I want you to think very carefully before you decide, because once you do there will be no going back on your decision. You have to be sure that you can carry it through if you agree to my terms.’

Katherine’s fingers were numb because she was gripping the table so hard. As though from a distance she heard her own voice, thin and shallow, asking the question, ‘And that condition is?’

‘That we end this sham of a marriage.’

The blood rushed through every bit of her so fast that her fingers tingled and her body throbbed. It was relief, she told herself, the sheer relief of hearing those words that was causing this reaction. To imagine that there was the slightest trace of disappointment at it was ridiculous.

‘Of course. I shall give you a divorce any time you—’

Jordan’s laughter was so harsh that she flinched. ‘Oh, no, Katherine, that isn’t what I want! I’m sorry, I must have phrased it badly. Put it down to tiredness or whatever.’

He gave her a slow smile, his blue eyes playing over her white face. ‘In fact, what I want is just the opposite of what you imagined. I want to end the sham of the way we live by making our marriage a real one in every sense. I want us to live together properly as man and wife, to share a roof and a bed. And what I want most of all, Katherine, is a child.’

‘A child?’ She could hear the shock echoing in her voice, feel it rippling through her in waves. She stared at Jordan in disbelief, wondering wildly if she had misheard him. ‘You... you want us to have a child?’

‘Yes.’

‘I...I don’t know what to say. I never imagined...’ Katherine swallowed hard but her voice was still strained. ‘Why do you want a child, Jordan?’

He gave a wry laugh. ‘For all the usual reasons, I imagine! I’m no different from any other man in wanting a child to carry on my name and inherit all I have worked so hard to achieve.’

‘But why now, so suddenly, out of the blue like this...?’ She tailed off, unable to continue, unable to absorb what he was telling her and to make sense of it.

‘But it isn’t out of the blue. I’ve been thinking about this for some time.’ He met her eyes levelly. ‘I’m not getting any younger and I would like to have a child before I’m too old to do all the things a father should do with his son or daughter. But what about you, Katherine? Surely you want to have children while you’re still young enough to enjoy them?’

‘I... I never thought about it,’ she whispered hollowly.

‘Because you’re married to me?’

‘What do you mean?’ She stared at him in confusion as she heard the sudden bitterness in his voice.

‘Simply that you had put off thinking about having a family because of the implications.’ He shrugged, but his gaze was dark and intent. ‘It would entail sleeping with me, wouldn’t it, Katherine? And we both know how you feel about that!’

Her face flamed with angry colour and she stared back at him with stormy grey eyes. ‘Yes, we both know how I feel about that, Jordan. At least there’s no confusion on that score. It’s a pity that you aren’t as clear in your own mind about what you want and why.’

His brows rose, but he seemed more amused by her outburst than anything else. ‘Meaning what, precisely?’

‘That a child isn’t something you can bargain with like...like a clause in a contract! A child should be loved and wanted for the right reasons, not because it’s something you need to perpetuate your name!’

‘Oh, I agree, Katherine. I am in complete accord with you on that. It seems that you do have some views on children after all—even though you may not have thought about having a family yourself. Maybe you should do so now.’

He got up from the table. ‘In fact, that is what I want you to do—to think about what I have said very carefully before you tell me what your answer is. I’m afraid I shall have to stay here for the night as it’s too late to go to my club. We can talk about it again in the morning.’

He turned to leave, but Katherine couldn’t let him go like that. ‘You can’t really expect me to agree to such a proposal? It’s insane!’

He glanced back, his eyes shadowed by his lowered lids. She felt a frisson run down her spine as though he had physically touched her. ‘It isn’t insane at all. We’re married, Katherine. We can either accept that and try to make the best of it or we can carry on the way we are. Are you really happy with your life as it is at present?’

‘But why do you imagine that a child would make it better? It wouldn’t alter the reason we married, Jordan. It wouldn’t change that! Nothing can.’

She gave a shrill laugh. She could hardly believe they were having this conversation. A child! She couldn’t begin to think of what it would mean, how it would change her life. It would be the ultimate tie, of course, because she could never leave Jordan if they had a child...

Unlike her mother, a voice inside her whispered. Her mother had found it easy to leave her children because she’d had other needs. What if she was like that? What if she turned out to be like her mother in that respect as well...?

Katherine’s hands clenched as she tried desperately to hold onto her control, but it seemed to be slipping further and further away with each second that passed. ‘It’s out of the question,’ she said hoarsely. ‘There is no way that I shall agree!’

‘I don’t want you to give me your answer right away.’ He held his hand up when she started to speak. ‘No. This is too important an issue to make some hasty decision about. You need to think about it first.’

‘There is nothing to think about!’

‘Maybe you feel like that now because it’s been a shock.’ He shrugged, with an oddly tender smile playing about his mouth which startled her. ‘But once you think it through you may change your mind. You have a lot of love to give, Katherine. I know that from seeing how you behave towards your father and brother. A child would benefit from all that you have to give it, because you would make a wonderful mother.’

He left the room, and after a few moments Katherine heard the door to the spare bedroom closing. She sank down onto a chair, trembling in the aftermath of what Jordan had said.

A real marriage.

A marriage where she and Jordan would live together day by day, sleep together in the same bed, share all the intimacies of man and wife.

And a child. Jordan’s child...

She bit her lip as fear rushed through her in a great wave. The problem was that Jordan had no idea what he was really asking of her, but then how could he have? It was something she had never discussed with anyone; she was too ashamed to admit her secret fears.

How many times as she’d been growing up had she heard the comment passed about how like her mother she was? It had been meant as a compliment, because Caroline Carstairs had been a beautiful woman.

After Caroline had left, however, the comments had stopped abruptly. No one had wanted to point out the resemblance then, but the damage had been done. Katherine had been tormented by the thought that she might be like her mother in other ways, and all it had needed were those few minutes in Jordan’s arms to confirm her worst fears.

How could she allow that to happen again when the memory filled her with such shame?

She closed her eyes as the wave of fear engulfed her and she was drawn down into its dark depths. Yet how could she refuse and watch her brother’s life being ruined?