Читать книгу A Baby Of His Own - Jennifer Taylor, Jennifer Taylor - Страница 6

‘YOU’RE never going to believe what’s happened!’

Staff Nurse Lucy Adams glanced round as the staffroom door burst open. It was Lucy’s first day back at work on Dalverston General’s paediatric unit following her maternity leave. She had been hoping to ease herself back into the job after several months’ absence, but it had been far too busy as one crisis had succeeded another. She’d not had time to stop for any lunch and had been making herself a cup of coffee when her friend, Sandra Clark, had appeared. Now she groaned as she saw the excitement on the other nurse’s face.

‘I’m not sure if I want to hear this.’

‘Oh, yes, you do!’ Sandra grimaced when she heard footsteps coming along the corridor. It was obvious that she wanted to tell Lucy her news before they were interrupted. ‘Guess who they’ve hired to replace Mark Dawson?’

‘I’ve no idea and I really don’t care so long as he or she can do the job,’ Lucy assured her, sinking down onto a chair. ‘It’s been bedlam in here this morning. I don’t know how they expect us to cope with half our staff missing—’

‘Connor Mackenzie!’

Lucy froze so that the cup of coffee that had been on its way to her mouth ended up suspended in mid-air. Sandra laughed in delight.

‘I knew you’d be surprised! I was stunned when I found out, too. I never thought Connor would come back here to work, did you?’

‘No. I didn’t.’ It was hard to force the words past the knot of panic in her throat but Lucy knew that she mustn’t let Sandra see how shocked she really was. Nobody knew about her and Connor—they’d gone to great lengths to keep their relationship a secret. Gossip was rife in any hospital and they hadn’t wanted everyone talking about them.

In the event, Lucy had been glad they’d been so careful. At least she’d been spared the embarrassment of people knowing that Connor had cared more about his career than he’d cared about her. And because nobody knew they’d had an affair, they hadn’t put two and two together when she’d announced that she was pregnant. Isabel was six months old now and nobody—not even Lucy’s own family—knew that Connor was her father. That was how she intended it to remain, too. So far as she was concerned, Connor Mackenzie had no claim on her precious daughter.

‘At least we’re getting someone with experience to take over the post.’ She fixed a smile to her mouth, hoping it would convince Sandra that the news didn’t worry her. Of course it did, because working with Connor was going to be very awkward, but she had to start as she meant to go on. ‘It was a real blow when Mark decided to accept that position in Cambridge, but Connor’s an excellent doctor. And he’s great with the kids, too.’

‘He’s also gorgeous and sexy in case you’ve forgotten.’ Sandra gave a little chuckle. ‘Or have your hormones not recovered yet from the joys of childbirth?’

‘My hormones are fine, thank you very much,’ Lucy retorted, knowing that she had to play along—it was expected of her.

Her heart suddenly skipped a beat as a picture of Connor appeared in her mind’s eye: that crisp black hair, those wonderful green eyes and chiselled features. He was gorgeous, and sexy, and a host of other things as well, but none of those mattered. It was Izzy who was the most important person in her life now, and Izzy’s happiness was her only concern. She wasn’t going to allow her daughter’s feelings to be trampled on by a man who put his career before everything else!

The thought steadied her so that she was able to smile more naturally this time. ‘I’m just too tired from looking after a teething baby all night to appreciate Connor Mackenzie’s finer points.’

‘Then you must be the only woman in this hospital who feels that way.’ Sandra gave a little shudder. ‘Oh, this must be my lucky day. I was gutted when Connor left to work in the States. I never thought he’d come back to Dalverston once he’d had a taste of the good life. It must be fate is all I can say. Pure fate!’

Lucy laughed sceptically. ‘Or bad luck, you mean. Connor might be good-looking but he’s too wrapped up in his precious career to care about anything else. You could find yourself at the end of a long line of disappointed females who wish they’d never heard of the wonderful Dr Mackenzie!’

She looked up, expecting Sandra to refute that claim, and suddenly realised there was someone standing in the doorway. Her breath caught as she realised who it was. He gave her a thin smile as he came into the room but she could see the anger in his green eyes and a shiver raced through her. She wasn’t sure if it had been that disparaging comment that had upset him, but there was no doubt at all that Connor Mackenzie was furiously angry.

‘Obviously, you’re not my number one fan, Staff Nurse Adams. Whilst you’re perfectly entitled to your views, I do hope you’ll keep any remarks like that to yourself in future. I would prefer it if my staff at least pretended to show me some respect.’

Colour washed up Lucy’s face as she quickly stood up. Maybe Connor was within his rights to chastise her, but there was no way she was going to allow him to walk all over her. ‘I apologise, Dr Mackenzie. Obviously, that remark wasn’t intended for your ears. I shall be more careful in future.’

‘Thank you.’ His eyes bored into her as he narrowed the gap between them. ‘Harmony within my team is something I value very highly. If you have a grievance, I expect you to tell me about it. Is that clear?’

‘Perfectly,’ she retorted, her brown eyes blazing back at him. Maybe she couldn’t put her feelings into words but there was no way he wouldn’t understand the message she was trying to convey. He might be her boss now, not her lover, but she resented him pulling rank this way.

‘Good.’ An ironic smile curled his mouth. ‘It’s best to get things out into the open, I find. It saves a lot of confusion. Trying to keep secrets rarely works.’

Lucy wasn’t sure what he meant by that. To anyone listening, it would appear that he was laying down some ground rules before he took up the post as head of the paediatric unit. However, she sensed there’d been a deeper meaning behind the words and it worried her. Was Connor warning her that he’d found out about Izzy?

Panic swept over her at the thought of him knowing about her daughter and she turned away, terrified that he would see just how scared she was. She emptied the rest of her coffee down the sink and hurried to the door. Sandra was chatting to Connor now so with a bit of luck she should be able to slip away. She just needed a few minutes to calm herself down and then she’d be able to deal with whatever Connor threw at her.

‘Could I have a word with you before you go back to the ward, Lucy?’

She was almost out of the door when Connor called her back and for a moment she was tempted to ignore him. However, she knew it would create more problems if she did that. No matter how she felt about him personally, he was still her boss.

‘We’re short-staffed today,’ she told him crisply.

‘So I believe. I was informed at my interview that staffing levels are at an all-time low. It’s something I intend to rectify as soon as possible.’

He turned to Sandra and Lucy’s mouth pursed with distaste when she saw the dazzling smile he bestowed on the other woman. ‘I know you’re supposed to go off duty soon, but I really need to have a word with Lucy. Would you mind covering for her just this once?’

‘Of course I don’t mind, Connor—I mean, Dr Mackenzie,’ Sandra amended hastily.

‘Thanks. And Connor will do fine.’ He gave her another megawatt smile. ‘I can’t see the point of standing on ceremony when we’re all here for the same reason. Make sure everyone knows that, will you?’

‘Of course!’

Sandra glided out of the room, an expression of such bliss on her face that it made Lucy’s stomach churn. Something of what she was feeling must have shown on her face because Connor laughed.

‘A bit of charm works wonders, I find. It’s far more effective than rattling out orders.’

‘I’m sure you’re right.’ Lucy came back into the room although she didn’t sit down when he waved her towards a chair. ‘I prefer to stand, thank you. You did say this wouldn’t take long.’

‘It won’t.’ He closed the door and turned to face her. ‘What I have to say can be said in very few words, although I’m sure you would prefer it to be said in private.’

‘I can’t imagine what you and I have to talk about of a private nature,’ she countered. ‘Our relationship ended when you went to America. You made it very clear it was the end, too. What was it you said on our last evening together? Ah, yes, I remember now. There was no point keeping in touch because you preferred to make a clean break. You then told me to get on with my life and that you hoped I’d be happy. Well, I’m glad to say that I took your advice on both counts.’

‘So I believe.’ He leant against the door and there was something about the way he was looking at her that made a shiver run down her spine. ‘I bumped into Lisa Saunders a few weeks ago. She was in Boston for a seminar so we spent a couple of hours catching up. It was a surprise to hear that she and Will were married, although that wasn’t her only news, of course. She also told me that you were on maternity leave. Your baby is how old now…six months?’

Lucy nodded. She was too afraid to speak. She had the most awful feeling that she knew where this was leading and was terrified that she would say something to confirm his suspicions. That was all they were, of course—suspicions. Nobody apart from her knew the truth.

‘Did I ever tell you that maths was one of my favourite subjects at school? I used to enjoy working out all those problems the teachers set us.’ Connor’s tone was light and breezy, as though they were indulging in a pleasant little chat. However, the expression in his eyes told a very different story.

‘How fascinating,’ she replied curtly, desperate not to hear anything else. Even though she had no idea what his liking for maths had to do with the situation, it was unlikely that he was making small-talk for the fun of it. ‘Unfortunately, I don’t have time to listen to you reminiscing about your schooldays. I need to get back to work.’

‘Of course you do. As a single mother, your job must be very important to you. Babies are expensive, aren’t they? They need all sorts of things—nappies, clothes, toys—the list must be endless.’ He sighed. ‘It must be hard enough when the child’s father is around to share the burden but when you’re on your own—like you, Lucy—it must be a real problem.’

‘I manage,’ she snapped.

‘I’m sure you do. But why should you have to manage by yourself when the baby’s father should be doing his bit to help you?’ He stepped away from the door and there was something intimidating about the way he was looking at her now. ‘He does know about the baby, doesn’t he? I know you read about women who go off and have a baby without telling the father, but you wouldn’t do a thing like that, would you, Lucy?’

‘Isabel’s father has nothing whatsoever to do with you!’ she shot back, desperate to convince him that she was telling the truth.

‘Isabel. So that’s what you called her? Lisa couldn’t remember her name when I asked her what it was. She just knew you’d had a little girl.’ His voice had softened, the harshness replaced by a tenderness that made Lucy’s heart suddenly ache. Either he was a superb actor or he really was moved by the thought of her daughter.

Just for a moment, she allowed herself the luxury of imagining how he would react if she told him the truth about Izzy being his child. She could actually picture the smile that would light his handsome face and the way his eyes would fill with love for their daughter—as once upon a time she’d imagined they had filled with love for her.

The thought was like a dash of cold water, returning her with sickening speed to the reality of the situation. And the reality was that Connor allowed nothing to come before his precious career. Nothing had ever mattered as much and nothing ever would, neither a woman nor a child. The thought helped her harden her heart.

‘Is this leading somewhere?’ She gave him a mocking smile. ‘So far we’ve covered your schooldays, your meeting with Lisa, and the fact that I have a baby. So what else do you wish to discuss?’

‘Nothing very much. I’ve covered the main topics.’ He gave a throaty laugh. ‘Funnily enough, they’re all linked. Meeting Lisa was the start, you see, then came the maths. It was easy enough to subtract the months until I got back to the beginning, which was when your baby was conceived. Correct me if I’m wrong but I’d guess it was April last year. If Isabel is six months old, it would have to be around that time unless she was premature, and Lisa didn’t mention that.’

‘I’m not listening to this,’ Lucy began, but he carried on as though she’d never spoken.

‘So assuming that Isabel went to term that means April is right. A lot of things happened that April, as I recall. We spent a lot of time together, including that weekend in Scotland. In fact, if you factor in work—which brings me back to the maths again—then I’d say you had very little opportunity to see anyone else when you were spending so much time with me. Ipso facto, Isabel must be my daughter. Am I right, Lucy? Or have my powers of deduction failed me this time?’

Lucy didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t even claim that it was like having her worst nightmare come true because she’d never dreamt that she and Connor would have this conversation. Since the night they’d parted she’d not heard a word from him—not even a card at Christmas. He had walked out of her life and that had been it. Now she had no idea how to deal with what was happening and her confusion must have shown.

‘I don’t know what you’re planning on doing but, please, don’t bother trying to lie your way out of this. It would be a mistake, because I’m not in the mood to listen to any lies. We both know that Isabel is my daughter. She couldn’t possibly be anyone else’s.’

‘Why not? I could have been seeing someone else while we were going out together.’ She stared back at him, desperately trying to hold onto her control. She had no idea why he was even interested that he had a child but something warned her that no good would come of it.

‘Not you, Lucy. It’s not something you’d do.’

The certainty in his voice almost tipped her over the edge and she had to breathe deeply to control her panic.

‘Isn’t it?’ She gave a mocking laugh and was pleased to see his eyelids flicker. Was he having doubts about her faithfulness, wondering if she might have been two-timing him? She hoped so, she really did. Connor Mackenzie needed taking down a peg or two!

‘Are you sure about that, Connor? You might be able to account for a large proportion of my time that April but you weren’t with me every single minute, were you? There were a number of nights when you were working and I was off duty. Do you know with absolute certainty what I was doing on those nights?’

‘No, I don’t. I wasn’t keeping tabs on you.’

‘Exactly!’ She laughed again, playing the role of her life. It was vital she convinced him that he couldn’t be Isabel’s father. Nothing was going to hurt her precious little girl and if that meant denying Connor’s paternity, that was what she would do.

‘You haven’t the faintest idea what went on when you were at work. You didn’t really care. Your job has always come first and I don’t imagine it would have worried you if you’d found out I was seeing someone else.’

‘So who was he, then?’ His voice grated but apart from that he seemed unmoved by the fact that she’d claimed to have been having an affair while they’d been seeing each other.

Lucy felt a knot of pain twist her heart but she couldn’t afford to admit that it hurt to know how little she’d meant to him. ‘Just someone I met one night in a club.’

‘So it was a one-night stand—is that what you’re saying?’

‘That’s right. I haven’t seen him since and I don’t expect to. He was in Dalverston on business and there’s no reason to imagine I’ll run into him again.’

‘And does he have a name? Or didn’t you bother asking him that?’

He smiled at her, his white teeth gleaming, his eyes sparkling with what looked like amusement. Was he relieved to have been let off the hook? she wondered, feeling sickly. Glad that another man was the father of her child so that he wouldn’t have to worry about the responsibilities of being a parent? The thought was almost too much to bear, but she had to bear it for Izzy’s sake.

‘I don’t see what difference it makes what his name is. He’s not part of the equation, to use your own analogy.’

‘And you’re perfectly happy about that, are you? You don’t care that your daughter is going to grow up without knowing her father?’

‘A lot of children don’t have any contact with one or other of their parents these days. I’m quite sure that it won’t make a lot of difference to Isabel’s life.’

It wasn’t true, of course. She did worry about what her daughter was going to miss as she grew up. Her own childhood had been idyllic and she hated to think that Izzy wouldn’t enjoy the support that came from a secure family background. However, there was no way that she was prepared to admit that to Connor, especially when he’d accepted her story about another man so readily. If she’d fostered any hopes that he’d ever loved her, they’d just been completely dashed.

The thought was so painful that Lucy knew she had to bring the conversation to an end. She looked pointedly at her watch. ‘I need to get back. We’re two members of staff down today so we’re working at full stretch.’

‘Of course. I’m sorry to have delayed you but I’m glad we’ve had this chat. It’s helped to clear up a few things which have been bothering me since I spoke to Lisa.’

He stepped away from the door, but instead of moving out of her way so she could leave, he stopped directly in front of her. Lucy felt her heart start to race when she saw how grim he looked. There was no sign of amusement on his face now and no hint of softness in his voice either.

‘The thing I always admired about you, Lucy, was your honesty. You said what you meant and you meant what you said, but obviously you’ve changed.’

‘I don’t know what you mean,’ she began, but he shook his head.

‘Of course you do. You would never have told me that pack of lies about Isabel’s father a year ago. There was no other man and we both know that. I’m her father and I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for trying to hide her existence from me, but I do know that things are going to change from now on.

‘She’s my daughter as well as yours and I intend to play a proper role in her life. So if you’re harbouring any thoughts of cutting me out then I suggest you forget them. I shall do whatever it takes to be a real father to that little girl. And if that means taking you to court to gain access to her, that’s what I’ll do.’

‘Connor…!’ she began, but he’d already turned away. Lucy pressed her hand to her mouth as he strode out of the door. She’d always believed that she’d been right not to tell him about Izzy but it didn’t feel that way any more. It felt as though she’d not only let her daughter down but Connor as well, which was crazy. She didn’t owe him any allegiance. He’d walked out of her life and he had no right to think that he could come back now and create havoc!

She took a steadying breath. The biggest mistake she could make now would be to panic. Isabel was her daughter and she would do whatever it took to protect her. Connor was never going to hurt Izzy the way he had hurt her.