Читать книгу Finding Love at Hedgehog Hollow - Jessica Redland - Страница 9

‘You’ve done me proud, Sammie,’ Gramps said as we stepped into the function room at Sanderslea House Hotel, a few miles from Meadowcroft. ‘It’s wonderful.’

He wandered round, studying the various photos I’d had blown up of him from being a baby through to present day. Tears pricked my eyes as he lightly stroked an image I’d taken of Nanna and him in the garden a few days before her op, looking happy and healthy. We could never have guessed it would be the last ever photo taken of her. I took a deep breath and busied myself rearranging some flowers in one of the table centrepieces.

‘Thank you,’ he said, returning to my side.

‘My pleasure, Gramps.’ I watched him glancing across at the photo again. ‘I bet Nanna’s here in spirit.’

He turned and gave me a gentle smile. ‘I guarantee it. She’d be so proud of you, you know. I certainly am.’

‘I miss her.’

‘I know. She was the best,’ he said, his voice cracking.

We stood side by side for a moment, lost in our thoughts.

‘Why don’t you take one of those selfies of us before anyone else arrives?’ Gramps suggested, his voice sounding stronger.

Gramps loved a selfie and I had a wonderful collection of the two of us together, smiling or pulling silly faces. We wandered over to the balloons and I took a few photos of us in front of them, feeling a warm glow inside as he looked through them, smiling. ‘Will you print me some of these off for our collage?’

‘Of course.’ We’d created a fabulous selfies collage on one of the spare bedroom walls at Meadowcroft. If Nanna’s absence hit him too hard, he loved to sit on the bed and look at it. He said it instantly cheered him up and reminded him of how much he still had to live for.

‘What time is your young man expected?’ he asked.

‘Not till about eight but he’s looking forward to seeing you again.’

‘Good. It’s been ages. I need to make sure he’s still good enough for my favourite grandchild.’ He winked at me and I nudged him gently.

‘Ssh! You can’t show favouritism like that.’

‘Why not? You, Sammie, are truly special. I’ve always known it and, if it hadn’t been for the care and attention you gave me after we lost your nanna, I don’t think I’d be here today celebrating my seventy-fifth. I hope you know how much I love you, my angel, and I’m only sorry that certain people in your life don’t see you the way I do.’

‘Aw, Gramps. I love you too.’ I hugged him tightly, pushing back the tears once more. I knew it broke his heart how Mum treated me but little did he know that his words could be applied to my relationship with James too.

‘Happy birthday!’ The loud greeting broke us apart and we turned to see Auntie Louise, Uncle Simon and Chloe making their way towards us with bags of gifts. Mum and Dad followed a few minutes later and soon the room was full of friends and family, handing out hugs and gifts, chatting and laughing.

It warmed my heart to see Gramps looking so happy. I glanced over at Nanna’s image on the wall and smiled at her. She was definitely with us celebrating.

I wondered whether Gramps would see through James and me tonight. I’d kept finding excuses not to take James to Meadowcroft because Gramps noticed everything about me and, if there were only the three of us together, his suspicions would definitely be aroused. He wouldn’t rest until he’d got to the bottom of it and he’d give me the advice I didn’t want to hear. I figured that the party would provide safety in numbers and enough distractions for Gramps. I was wrong.

Shortly before 8 p.m., I nipped into the ladies in the back corner of the function room to freshen up before James arrived. When I came out, Gramps was waiting nearby with a large glass of rosé wine for me.

‘I meant to get you one earlier but guests kept appearing.’

‘Thank you, Gramps.’ I reached for it and gratefully took a few sips. I’d been too busy playing hostess to grab myself a drink. ‘Are you enjoying yourself?’

‘Having a wonderful time, my angel. No sign of James yet?’

‘He should be here soon.’ I nodded towards the other side of the room where Chloe was chatting to one of Gramps’s neighbours. ‘Chloe looks amazing tonight.’ She wore a soft peach halter-neck dress and her hair was styled into loose curls.

‘And so do you,’ Gramps said.

‘Thank you.’

Chloe turned towards the door and stared for a moment before giving a toss of her hair.

‘Oh aye, who’s she got her eye on now?’ Gramps muttered.

We both turned our gaze towards the door and my stomach plummeted to the floor. James had arrived but he wasn’t scanning the room in search of me. Someone else had already caught his attention. His mouth opened and he ran his fingers across his facial hair, seemingly completely mesmerised. I hardly dared follow his eyeline but I had to be sure.

Eyes locked, Chloe and James crossed the room, like magnets pulling together. And, at that moment, I knew I’d lost him. The physical attraction was obvious and, as soon as they spoke, there was no way they wouldn’t gel.

‘Is that your James?’ Gramps asked, adjusting his glasses as they started to speak.

I nodded slowly.

‘Then I need to play host and welcome him,’ he said, a defensive note to his tone. I knew he’d seen what I’d just seen.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the shadows and across the room.

‘Sammie’s boyfriend,’ Gramps declared loudly. ‘So pleased you could make it.’

My cousin and boyfriend both seemed to snap out of their trance and realise they weren’t alone anymore.

‘Erm yes… Sorry I’m late, William. Happy birthday!’ He shook Gramps’s hand then turned to me and gave me an awkward peck on the cheek, almost as though we were strangers.

‘I see you’ve met my cousin, Chloe,’ I said, trying hard to keep the tightness out of my voice.

‘Yes, just this second. I… er… I was just asking her where you were and here you are.’

‘Here I am.’

Silence. It was excruciating. I could feel Gramps willing me to say something, to stake my claim, but what could I say? All I could think of was, Should Gramps and I just leave the two of you alone?

‘How was work?’ I asked.

‘What do you do?’ Chloe asked before he could respond.

‘I’m Director of Marketing for Denleigh Insurance in York.’

‘Director? Wow! You must be brilliant at your job,’ Chloe touched his arm as she said it. My heart raced as I watched her in full flirt mode right in front of me. Was she even aware she was doing it?

‘I’m feeling quite warm, Sammie.’ Gramps slipped his hand into mine. ‘Would you accompany me outside for some fresh air?’

‘Of course. Excuse us a moment.’

I swear they didn’t notice us leave. I gulped down the rest of my wine and abandoned the empty glass on a nearby table as I followed Gramps out of a side door.

A gentle breeze cooled my blazing cheeks as I sat beside him on a wooden bench round the corner, out of sight of the function room windows.

‘That was the first time Chloe and James have met?’ Gramps asked.

‘Yes.’

‘And you’ve kept them apart deliberately?’

I shrugged. ‘No. Or at least I don’t think so. Maybe I did subconsciously.’

Gramps put his arm round me and I rested my head on his shoulders. ‘Tell me I was imagining the fireworks just now.’

‘I wish I could.’

He squeezed my shoulder and we sat in silence for several minutes until the coolness of the evening became too much and I shivered, goose bumps covering my arms.

‘It’s too cold out here,’ Gramps said, standing and offering me his hand. ‘Do you have plans for tomorrow?’

‘James is driving back to York tonight for a stag weekend so I was planning to go into Whitsborough Bay for a mooch round the shops. I don’t have to, though.’

‘Let’s spend the day together. Come to Meadowcroft and we’ll talk.’

Back inside, Chloe and James were still talking animatedly, laughing and leaning closer to each other as they spoke.

‘I’ll just nip to the ladies,’ I told Gramps.

‘Are you alright?’ His soft grey eyes were full of concern.

I nodded and smiled reassuringly but I didn’t trust myself to speak in case it all tumbled out. We’d talk tomorrow. He’d seen it. I’d seen it. The whole room had probably seen it.

To my relief, there was nobody in the toilets. I paced up and down a few times, taking deep breaths, willing myself not to cry. When I felt back in control, I leaned over one of the sinks and splashed some cold water over my face. As I dabbed myself dry with a paper towel, I shook my head at the woman looking back at me from the mirror. Why hadn’t I made more effort? There I was in jeans, a loose white top and flip flops, minimal make-up, with my hair pulled back into a low ponytail, not much different to how I wore it for work. And there was Chloe… being Chloe. All it had taken was one look across a crowded room and the sparks had flown. The thing James was missing with me, he’d just found with my cousin. Of all the women in all the world…

I pushed the door open and stepped back into the function room. Warmth and laughter engulfed me and I pushed my shoulders back. Mingle. Enjoy yourself. He’ll come and find you soon and you can act like everything’s fine. You’re used to that.

The following morning, I picked up Gramps and drove to Great Tilbury. We managed to walk the full length of the village and back again, including a pause to feed the ducks, without either of us mentioning Chloe and James but, as soon as he suggested elevenses in April’s Tea Parlour, I knew we couldn’t put it off any longer.

‘You and James,’ he said as soon as our drinks were delivered. ‘Talk to me.’

‘There’s not much to talk about. I love James and he doesn’t love me. Simple as that.’

‘He told you this?’

‘Three months ago at Hannah and Toby’s wedding.’

‘Does he know how you feel about him?’

I twiddled with my ponytail. ‘No. We’re only together until he finds the missing spark with someone else.’

Gramps exhaled slowly and shook his head as he poured milk into his cup. ‘You know that phrase your nanna used to say? If you love something, you have to set it free.’

My shoulders drooped. ‘Yes. The thing is, I know the rest of that saying and I know he won’t come back.’

‘Then he was never yours, was he?’

A tear slipped down my cheek and I quickly swiped it away. ‘I’ve always known that.’

‘Your nanna also said that the fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.’

I frowned at him. ‘I’ve never heard that phrase in my life. What does it mean?’

‘It means that an act of kindness – like the one that you already know you’re about to do – will benefit the giver too.’ He put his hand over mine. ‘It might take a while for you to feel the benefit but everything—’

‘—happens for a reason,’ I finished. ‘I know. And thanks for noticing what happened last night.’

‘I’ve always noticed everything about you. I’ve noticed how you always step into the shadows and let your cousin shine. I’ve noticed how a harsh word or look from your mum hurts you yet you don’t rise to it. I’ve noticed how you talk down your accomplishments and make a fuss of everyone else’s, as though nothing you do is important. But I want you to know that you shine like a diamond, my angel. Don’t let anyone make you believe that you don’t.’

‘Thank you. That’s so lovely of you, Gramps.’ I poured the tea into both our cups and sighed. ‘I don’t know if I can bear to see James and Chloe together.’

‘You don’t know that will happen. Yes, something was there last night, but a successful relationship is so much more than physical attraction. They might not get together or, if they do, it might not last. Then he’ll be out of both your lives and you can move on.’

‘I know. I mustn’t assume the worst.’

Gramps added half a spoonful of sugar to his tea and stirred it slowly. ‘When will you end it?’

I released a slow, steady breath. ‘We’re meeting up for dinner on Tuesday. I’ll do it then.’

‘It will be hard but you know it’s the right thing, don’t you?’

‘I know, Gramps.’ My head told me it should have happened months ago, but my heart still wanted to cling on.

‘Promise me you’ll let him go.’ He fixed his kind grey eyes on mine and squeezed my hand. ‘Find your forever instead.’

‘I will, Gramps. I promise.’

When I got back home, I sent James a short text saying I’d had a lovely day with Gramps, I hoped the stag do was going well, and that I looked forward to seeing him on Tuesday. He responded with the thumbs up, pint of beer and zany face emojis. I lay on my bed, the phone resting on my chest, a feeling of loss enveloping me. Next time I saw James, I’d be ending it. Would that be goodbye or would I see him again… as Chloe’s boyfriend? I did an involuntary shudder at the thought.