Читать книгу A Mother For His Twins - Jill Weatherholt - Страница 16

Tuesday afternoon, Joy sat in the third row of the school’s auditorium. The students had been released from school and those participating in the play were outside enjoying a brief recess with the teaching assistants before rehearsal. Earlier in the day, she’d received an email from Nick requesting they meet privately before the first rehearsal. Her stomach fluttered as she wondered what he wanted to talk about. Of course, in her heart she knew. The past. Something she’d like to bury deep inside the earth’s core. Until his return to Whispering Slopes, she’d done a pretty good job at covering up her secret, but that hadn’t kept it from festering like a cut that wouldn’t heal.

Decisions have consequences. Growing up, that was what her grandmother always told her. Her decision the night she waited for Nick by the pond had forever changed her as a person. How could she ever share this with Nick?

The squeak of the door from the back of the room announced his arrival. She swallowed hard and turned. He strolled down the aisle of the auditorium dressed in khaki relaxed-fit pants and a red pullover sweater. That was always his color. It looked great with his close-cut dark hair. She pushed out of the wooden chair and braced herself.

“Thanks for meeting me.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “Since we’re going to be working so closely together on the play, I thought it would be a good idea to clear the air.”

“That’s an interesting metaphor. From what I recall of the night, you didn’t show up. There’s no misunderstanding in that.”

“You’re right.” He motioned toward the chairs. “Can we sit down and talk?”

She sounded defensive—she knew that—but what choice did she have? If she let down her guard, he’d find out everything. She couldn’t allow that to happen. “I’m listening.”

Nick leaned back in the chair and crossed his right leg over his left knee. “Do you remember when my mother fell down the stairs and injured her back?” he asked with his hands clasped together.

Joy’s thoughts drifted to that late autumn afternoon. The two of them had been studying at the dining room table when they heard a thumping sound and then cries for help. They’d raced into the foyer and had discovered his mother at the bottom of the stairs, the contents of the laundry basket strewn all over the pinewood floor. She couldn’t move.

“Yes, I remember. She went to the hospital for several weeks. Didn’t she have two or three surgeries?”

“Yes, three.” He nodded. “Unfortunately, the surgeries didn’t give her any relief from the excruciating pain she lived with on a daily basis.”

Last year, while lifting some heavy boxes in her classroom, Joy had strained her back. The pain she’d experienced lasted for several days. She couldn’t imagine the ongoing pain Mrs. Capello must have dealt with. “That’s terrible... I had no idea.”

“No one really did. She stayed isolated in her room for months. Although she was the one in tremendous pain, it also took a heavy toll on my father and their marriage.”

“I’m sure it was hard on everyone...including yourself.”

Nick nodded. “Her doctor kept prescribing higher doses of pain medications. The more she took, the more she needed. One night, I was in bed and I heard her crying through the wall. My father had been out of town on business, so I got up to check on her. I’ll never forget the look of despair blanketing her face.” He paused and raked his hand across the back of his neck. “When I asked her if she needed anything she told me she wanted it all to end.”

Her stomach twisted. Mrs. Capello was such a sweet and loving woman. She’d opened her home to Joy and treated her like a daughter. Joy had grown up without a mother of her own, and the woman’s kindness had always meant so much to her.

“I’m so sorry, Nick. I wish you’d told me how bad things were.”

“I almost did—a couple of times. But in a way, spending time with you was an escape from the trouble at home. I wanted to keep it that way and not bring my problems into our relationship.”

“Yes, but healthy relationships involve sharing problems with each other.” Of course, she could never reveal the events that occurred after he’d left.

He leaned forward and turned toward her. “Believe me, that’s a lesson I’ve learned much too late in life.”

Joy’s eyebrows arched. It sounded as though there was more about his past she didn’t know—just like he didn’t know about her own. Perhaps that was all for the best.

“Anyway, that’s the reason why he moved us—to protect my mother. The abuse of painkillers got more out of control and she’d threatened to hurt herself several times. My father reached out to a friend of his from college who worked as an addiction specialist practicing in Chicago. He offered to accept my mother into a new study program. It started the following week. We left on a Friday night and she was admitted on Monday. She stayed at the facility for six months.”

How could she be upset? His father had loved his mother and had no other options. Still, Nick never came back for her—the wound was still raw.

He reached for her hand. “Once I found out the letters had never been sent, it was too late. My circumstances had changed.”

All she could do was nod and pull her hand away. Let him talk, but keep your distance. She couldn’t allow herself to get close to him again. He was back to steal her dream. Besides, everything had changed and she’d never want him to know that she wasn’t like most women.

“My father’s reputation in the community was important to him. He cared what people thought about him and his family. He didn’t want others to look down on his wife or him.”

“You could have trusted me. I wouldn’t have said anything to anyone.” Even as she spoke the words, an understanding of Mr. Capello’s reasons settled in. She had secrets of her own she wanted to keep buried.

“I know, but my father didn’t. His mind wasn’t in the right place back then, and he wanted to protect her privacy.”

“After the six months, did your mother recover?” He could have come back to her then.

He ran his hand down the side of his face. “You’re wondering why I didn’t return after she finished rehab, aren’t you?”

Her left brow arched.

“In the beginning, since I didn’t know my letters were never mailed, I assumed you never wanted to talk to me again. I was afraid to come back and discover that you’d moved on—maybe married and started a family with someone else...someone other than me.” He pulled his eyes off her and stared at the ground. “After I promised to spend my life with you, I abandoned you. You had every right to move on, but I guess I just didn’t want to know if you had. Then I met the boys’ mother, and, well...too much time passed.”

If only he knew. Any chance of a relationship with anyone had ended that night. She’d been betrayed on so many different levels. How could she ever trust another man? But really, what did it matter? No man would ever want her now.

She swallowed to loosen the lump lodged in her throat. “I appreciate you telling me why you left. If you don’t want to talk about it anymore, I understand.”

Sadness pooled in his eyes. “No, you asked about her recovery. After the treatment, she was good for a year or so. When her back problems returned, she went to a new doctor. Just like the others, he overprescribed pills. Once again, she was in and out of rehab. I was relieved to be away at college, although I felt bad I wasn’t there to support my father and my sister, Janie. It was just too hard. I had to get out of that house and build a life for myself with Michelle. That’s her name—was her name. I tried to come home from school as much as I could, but it was too painful to see what had happened to my family. Janie tried to help our dad, but she really struggled after our mother passed. Then my father slipped into a deep depression.” He paused and exhaled a heavy breath. “I suggested counseling, but he didn’t see the point. When my mother’s kidneys started to fail due to the years of drug abuse, I actually prayed for God to take her. She’d given up on life years before. The only hope my father had of salvaging his life was if he no longer felt responsible for her.”

Joy had no words. She wished she’d known. Perhaps there would have been something she could have done to help the Capello family. If she had, would both of their lives have turned out differently?

He ran his hand through his hair. “It’s hard to believe. Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago, but other times, if feels like yesterday.”

“The pain still feels new,” Joy added.

He caught her gaze and held it. “Exactly. I suppose that’s how it feels for you.”

She remained silent.

“After my mother died, things got worse for my father. He started to drink heavily. Then he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and passed away within a few months.”

“I’m sorry, Nick...really, I am. He was a good man.”

The two sat in silence for the next five minutes. “I need a little air before the children come inside from recess,” she said.

He nodded. “I think I’ll go and grab a quick cup of coffee.”

Once outside, her thoughts drifted to Nick’s father. The poor man had lived a life full of constant heartache and pain. She couldn’t help but wonder if she was headed down that same road.

* * *

After sipping his beverage in the teachers’ lounge and receiving a phone call from a friend in Chicago, Nick inhaled a deep breath before entering the school’s auditorium. Part of him was relieved he’d spoken to Joy and told her why his family had left town, but something told him she had secrets she was holding on to as well. Her eyes had a sadness that didn’t exist when they were younger.

“Daddy! We’ve been waiting for you.” Tyler raced to the door and flung his arms around Nick’s waist.

He spotted Joy up on the stage, laughing with a group of children. She looked radiant.

“I’m sorry—I got held up on a call.” He took his son’s hand and strolled down the aisle.

“I sure hope I get picked to play the Big Bad Wolf,” Tyler declared.

Nick stepped up on the stage. “I’m late—sorry,” he said to Joy, who appeared busy scribbling notes on a clipboard. With her hair now pulled back in a ponytail, she reminded him of the young girl he’d fallen in love with. He shook off the thought. Their relationship was anything but the same. It could never be more. Besides, now they were just rivals.

“No worries. I was letting the kids know there are many other parts besides the leads. We need to cast the animals, trees, mushrooms, and we’ll also need help with costumes and lighting.”

Tyler stepped forward. “What about the wolf, Miss Kelliher? You forgot about that.”

Nick couldn’t help but notice Joy’s smile fading.

“What’s wrong, Joy?”

“Nothing. I’m fine.”

She didn’t look fine. Her voice shook and she appeared pale.

“So, raise your hand if you’d like to play the wolf,” Nick called, scanning the group for volunteers.

“First, we have to cast the lead,” Joy said.

He didn’t want to argue with her. “Okay, so who wants to play Little Red Riding Hood?”

When no hands went up, Nick looked at Bella. “I think you’d be perfect in the role.”

Her cheeks flushed. “Are you sure?” Bella asked in a less-than-confident tone.

“I’m positive. What about you, Miss Kelliher? Don’t you agree?”

Joy smiled. “I think she’d be perfect.”

Bella kicked her tennis shoe against the wooden stage. “What if I can’t learn all my lines?”

“I can help you.” Tyler stepped forward.

Nick smiled at his son. He always liked to help others. “I think that’s a good idea, Tyler.” He glanced at Bella. “You’ll do great, so don’t worry.”

“Can I play the wolf, Daddy?” Tyler tugged on Nick’s arm.

“We have to give everyone an opportunity, son. If there are others interested we’ll have to conduct some tryouts. Do you agree, Mrs. Kelliher?”

Joy nodded. “It only seems fair,” she answered before turning her attention back to the clipboard.

Nick couldn’t help wondering why Joy seemed so disengaged. He knew she loved the children, but something told him she wasn’t into this play. He pointed to the far side of the stage. “Anyone who’d like the role of the wolf, please step over there.”

Tyler skipped across the floor, making it clear he was interested, but he was the only one.

Nick glanced over the group of children, all of whom stared at the ground, unresponsive. “Okay, then. Tyler, by default, it looks like you’ve got the part.”

“Yippee!” His son ran toward Joy. “Did you hear, Miss Kelliher? I get to be the wolf.”

“Yes, I heard... Congratulations.” She quickly turned her attention to her clipboard again.

An hour and a half later the children had been picked up by their parents. While the twins and Bella acted out various routines on the stage, Nick was alone with Joy for the second time this afternoon. Sitting in the middle of the auditorium, they mapped out their rehearsal calendar for the next week.

“With the play scheduled in a few weeks, Mr. Jacobson isn’t giving us much time to practice, is he?” Nick glanced at Joy, who only nodded. She’d said very little to him since the children had gone home. He’d noticed she’d been less than enthusiastic about Tyler’s part in the play.

“So, I take it you’re not really an admirer of the Big Bad Wolf.” He turned in her direction. “I don’t really remember you being afraid when we were kids,” he joked.

Her shoulders stiffened. “What makes you say that?” She fingered her gold chain.

“I don’t know. It seems like you got a little tense earlier whenever he was mentioned.”

“I just wish Mr. Jacobson would have picked another fairy tale, that’s all.” She stared toward the stage.

Nick thought best to change the subject. For some reason she wasn’t a fan of “Little Red Riding Hood,” but hey, he never cared for “Rapunzel.”

“I wanted to apologize if Jordan put you in an uncomfortable position yesterday by asking about the piano lessons.”

“Of course he didn’t. I had offered, remember?” Joy removed her reading glasses and placed them on top of her head. “Are you okay with it?”

Nick worked his jaw back and forth. “I want Jordan to be happy.”

“You seemed somewhat agitated the other morning when he brought up his mother and the lessons. Do you ever talk to the boys about her?”

He knew he hadn’t been a good husband, but now he was a bad father. Was that what she was implying?

Nick squirmed in his seat. “I don’t want to talk about this now.”

Joy blew out a breath. “That could be a big part of your problem.”

What? Did he have a problem when it came to his boys? He didn’t think so. “I’m not understanding, Joy.”

“Your son needs to express his feelings. You need to open the door for conversations with Jordan and Tyler. It’s important they’re allowed to talk about their mother.”

Nick felt cornered. She did think he was a bad father. “The last time I looked, you weren’t a parent, Joy. So please, don’t lecture me on how to talk with my sons.”

The murmurs of the children on stage seeped into Nick’s ears as Joy remained silent. As soon as he’d spoken the words, regret washed over him. “I’m sorry... That was a low blow.”

Joy folded her arms tight around her body. “No, you’re right. I don’t have children of my own, but I do have experience with those who have had tragedy in their life. Any professional will tell you that brushing it under the rug and ignoring the incident won’t make it go away. It’s not too late, Nick—trust me.”

“But what if it is?” It was certainly too late for him and his wife. How would Joy react if she found out the truth...that his own children had known their mother was sick, but he hadn’t? Or had he chosen to ignore it? How pathetic.

Nick flinched when he felt the tender touch of her hand on his own.

“Please, don’t do this to yourself, Nick. You can’t change the past, but moving forward, you can do things differently.”

He fought back the tears attempting to release. “I don’t even know where to begin. Sometimes when I see the boys watching their friends with their mothers, the pain in their eyes makes me feel like the worst father in the world.” This was exactly the reason why he had to get the job of principal—all of his time invested back in Chicago, studying and pushing himself at the expense of his family, would have been for nothing if he couldn’t advance his career.

“You can begin by just talking to them and reminiscing about your wife. When I was their age, I loved when my grandmother and grandfather would tell me and Faith stories about our parents. It made the pain of losing them more bearable. Plus, since we’d been so young when they died, hearing about them made my mother and father more real...if that makes sense.”

The two sat in silence for a few minutes as they watched Bella and the boys dancing around on the stage.

“Yes, it does.” Nick cleared his throat and turned toward Joy. “I apologize for dumping all of that on you, but I think I’m beginning to see your point.”

“And what’s that?”

“Well, I feel a little better talking with you, so maybe if I try it with Jordan and Tyler, they’ll start to feel good, too.”

Joy laughed. “I promise you, it will help, but as for an apology, it’s not necessary. You’ve suffered a tremendous loss and raising children on your own can’t be easy.”

It was the hardest thing he’d ever done apart from burying his wife. “Well, I won’t lie—it’s not, but having good friends helps. Jordan and I would really like for you to go ahead with the lessons.”

A smile parted her lips. “I’d like that, too. It’s nice to see a child interested in music at such a young age.”

“His interest is all Michelle’s doing. She loved the piano and encouraged both boys to play. Tyler just didn’t have any interest. He prefers any sport that involves a ball over music.” Nick smiled.

“When I become principal, I’d really like to expand the music department,” Joy said. “I think it supports all learning. I’ve read studies that indicate musical training can physically develop the left portion of the brain. That’s the side involved with processing language.” She removed her glasses from her head and slid them on when her phone pinged.

Nick wasn’t sure if he’d heard her clearly or not. “What? You’re interviewing for the position?”

Joy forced a laughed. “Of course I am. I had assumed you already knew. In fact, according to Mr. Jacobson, I’m your only competition. It’s been my dream to fill my father’s shoes by becoming principal. I’ve been preparing for this job for years. Plus, it won’t be long before I have my master’s degree.”

“Well, I already have a master’s.” Nick pushed his shoulders back.

“That’s a nonissue.”

He shook his head. “Probably not to the school board when they’re determining who is better qualified to hold the job.”

“I’ll have it before the end of May,” she declared as she sprang to her feet with a face the color of a summertime cherry. “I think we’re done here. I’ve got to get Bella home for dinner.” She hugged her purse close to her stomach.

Nick sat in the chair as he watched Joy march down the aisle of the auditorium. Taking the steps two at a time, she reached for Bella’s hand and exited the platform faster than an actor with stage fright.

He shook his head. He should have known better and kept his mouth shut. A few minutes earlier, he thought maybe they could be friends again and move on from the past. If he was honest with himself, there was nothing he wanted more. But that ship had sailed long ago. Actually...sunk was more like it. But he’d come back to Whispering Slopes for a new start for him and his boys. One way or another, he’d eventually right this ship, but in the meantime, he knew there’d be plenty of choppy waters ahead, especially with both competing for the principal position. One thing he knew for sure: he was determined to get this job. Otherwise, all of the long hours and hard work he’d put into obtaining his advanced degree would have been for nothing. But then again, getting this job wouldn’t change the past and bring back Michelle.