Читать книгу Barry Loser and the trouble with pets - Jim Smith - Страница 11

Invisible lasso

Stuart cracked his Fronkle open and me, him, Nancy and Gordon watched all loserishly as Bunky waggled his legs around on the dance floor.

Sharonella and Fay were circling him like cats about to pounce on a very stupid, bum-wiggling mouse.

I rested my hand on the lever that opens the emergency exit door, getting ready to escape if Shazza spotted me. ‘Poor old Bunkster,’ I said. ‘Silly doggy doesn’t know how much trouble he’s in.’

Bunky’s sort of like my human pet dog, in case that last bit sounded weird.

Just then, Darren Darrenofski from our class wobbled out of the boys’ toilets. He was doing his flies up while holding a Fronkle at the same time, which isn’t an easy thing to do.

‘Darren!’ whisper-shouted Stuart. ‘Get over here before the girls spot you.’

But Frankie Teacup was singing too loud for Darren to hear.

‘Hey, what’s Shazza doing?’ said Nancy, and I spotted her on the dance floor, swinging an invisible lasso around in the air like she was a cowgirl.

‘That’s a funny old dance move isn’t it,’ I said, sounding like a bit of a granny, and I treated myself to a cheese and onion crisp for being so loserish.

‘The woman’s gone completely stark raving bonkers,’ said Gordon, not that I was listening to him.

I was too busy spotting one of Nancy’s trainers.