Читать книгу Barry Loser and the trouble with pets - Jim Smith - Страница 7

Operation Badger

Have you noticed how, when you’re thinking about something a lot, like sausages and dogs for example, they keep popping up everywhere you look?

That’s what started happening next. We’d only walked as far as the next lamp post, when what did I see but a totally normal, boring old dog weeing up against it.

‘Check it out!’ I said, starting to badger my mum. ‘A little doggy having a wee wee. Do you know what that reminds me of ?’

My mum peered down at me. ‘Do you need the toilet, Barry?’ she asked.

‘No mum, I don’t need the toilet,’ I sighed, and we carried on walking until we got to Bruce the butcher’s and I spotted a string of plastic sausages hanging up in the window.

‘Oh my unkeelness,’ I said, pointing at the fake bangers. ‘Plastic sausages! Can you guess what they make me think of, Mum?’

My mum gave me a funny look, like she thought I was trying to tell her I needed a poo or something. ‘Half a dozen sausages please Bruce,’ she said to the butcher.

‘MU-UM!’ I said, trying to get her attention.

‘WHAT, Barry?’ snapped my mum.

‘Well,’ I said. ‘You know how you’re buying sausages right now?’

‘Just get to the point,’ sighed my mum.

‘I WANT A SAUSAGE DOG!’ I cried.

Bruce the butcher handed my mum her sausages. ‘That’s a fiver for you, Losers,’ he said, doing a wink.

‘No chance!’ said my mum, but I don’t think she was talking to Bruce.

We walked out of the butcher and started heading home. ‘Looking forward to the disco, Barry?’ asked my mum, because it was the Mogden School Valentine’s Day Disco tonight.

‘Yeah I spose,’ I said, wondering if I should give up badgering her for a sausage dog and try for a spaghetti Bolognese stick insect instead.