Читать книгу Barry Loser is the best at football NOT! - Jim Smith - Страница 7

Avocado Hill is the posh little village that sits on top of a slope overlooking Mogden Town.

Tarquin dropped the ball he was holding and kicked it back up with his foot, ducking to catch it on the back of his neck, then flicking his head to make it bounce into his hands again.

‘Pretty impressive,’ said Nancy. ‘And I don’t even like football.’

Tarquin turned to Bunky. ‘I was watching you keepy uppying,’ he said. ‘Not bad for a Mogdener.’

‘Fanks!’ grinned Bunky, who thinks he’s the best at football out of all of us, probably cos he is.

‘Tell you what,’ said Tarquin. ‘We’ve got a little stadium up in Avo Hill - nothing fancy, just a few hundred seats. You lot fancy a game next Saturday, after the World Cup final?’

Bunky looked at the ball in Tarquin’s hands and gulped. ‘Oh, er . . . I’m busy then,’ he said.

‘Me too,’ squawked Sharonella. ‘I’m going to the, um . . . toilet.’

‘With me!’ burped Darren, putting his hand up in the air.

Gordon pulled his phone out of his pocket. ‘Do you know what,’ he said, tapping the screen. ‘I’m fully booked for the next three weeks.’

‘He’s my boss,’ said Stuart, pointing at Smugly. ‘So looks like I’ll be tied up as well.’

I looked round at my friends. ‘How come I didn’t know about all these plans?’ I said.

Tarquin peered down at me. ‘You’re a funny little specimen, aren’t you?’ he chuckled.

‘What’s that sposed to mean?’ I asked.

The kid next to Tarquin rolled his eyes. ‘Your pals are making excuses,’ he explained. ‘They’re just afraid to play the Green Giants.’

You know when you’re the last person to work something out and it makes you feel all stupid, so you say something cocky to make yourself look keel?

‘We’ll see you on Saturday,’ I said, twizzling round to face the Green Giants. ‘And we’re gonna smash you avocados into a paste!’