Читать книгу Barry Loser is the best at football NOT! - Jim Smith - Страница 9

‘You have got to be kidding,’ laughed Gordon.

Darren took a slurp of Fronkle. ‘Forgeddaboudit, Loser,’ he belched.

‘Oh PLEEEASE,’ I said, immedikeely losing my keelness and dropping to my knees. ‘Don’t leave me on the sidelines with nobody to talk to!’

Nancy looked up from her book. ‘Ahem?’ she ahemed.

‘No offence, Nance,’ I said, peering up at Bunky. ‘What d’you reckon, Captain?’ I smiled, calling him that so he’d go along with my plan.

Bunky ruffled my hair like I was his son. ‘It’s a nice idea, Baz, but you don’t actukeely know anything about football, do you?’

‘That fact might be ever-so-slighterly true,’ I said, getting up off my knees. ‘But I’m pretty good at bossing people about!’

‘And you think that’s all it takes to be a coach?’ said Gordon.

‘Oui,’ I said, showing off I could say ‘yes’ in French, because I’ve been learning it in school.

Sharonella’s nose crinkled up. ‘Urgh, we don’t need to hear about your toilet habits, Barry!’ she said.

‘Yeah, Losoid,’ said Darren. ‘Nice idea about the team, but I don’t think we’ll be needing your services, okay?’

‘Right that’s it,’ I said, stomping my foot and preparing to activate Operation Pain au Chocolat. ‘I didn’t want to do this, but it looks like I’m gonna have to.’