Читать книгу The Life and Letters of the Rev. George Mortimer, M.A - John Armstrong - Страница 18

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Wellington, Jan. 28th, 1812.

My very dear Friend,

I very much long to see you and your little domestic circle, and, especially so, in consequence of the information contained in your last: for I am given to understand that personal intercourse will not much longer be vouchsafed me.

Do not suppose, however, that I would wish that any personal advantage, which I might promise myself from your remaining in England, should prove the least obstacle to that most glorious work which it has pleased God to incline you to desire and pursue. I rejoice most sincerely in the grace which he has poured upon you, and I admire the leadings of Divine Providence, which have so clearly and manifestly opened your path. But still, notwithstanding the approval which my judgment is constrained to give, yet I cannot altogether divest myself of that affection which would fain induce me to chain you to some nearer spot. It tells me that real friends are few; it whispers also that, among all my friends, no one has ever yet so completely merited the name. But still, as it has pleased God to put it into the heart of my friend to undertake so noble, so glorious an employment, I cannot for a moment indulge any feeling of complaint. It is all well; and, as I said before, I rejoice in the grace and providential dealings which have been manifested on your behalf.

It requires no small measure of faith and self-denial to leave the pleasures of social life—the intercourse of friends and the innumerable ties which a long series of years has tended to strengthen. I have often gazed in silent admiration at the peculiar kind of spirit which must animate a missionary, and have concluded that it must be peculiarly acceptable in the sight of Almighty God. But, alas! much as I have admired the spirit, I feel that I have scarcely a spark of it—not, indeed, that I should find it difficult to forego the pleasures which at present surround me, not that I should be staggered at leaving my present situation to live in one which is remote, and which is now unknown to me; but that I am sensible that these feelings would not last. The inconceivable ignorance of some, the stupidity of others, and the state (I was going to say) of moral and religious incapacity, to which a long indulgence in vicious habits has reduced the generality, would check my fervour, damp my zeal, and cause me either to slacken my exertions, or else to desist from the work in despair. When we get into discouraging circumstances, how readily do we slide into despondency. We may not, perhaps, altogether lose sight of the power of God, and its all-sufficiency to help us through; but we are apt to conclude that we are not the proper instruments; that we have protruded ourselves into situations which God never designed for us; and that, though he could most easily help us, yet that, for wise purposes, he sees fit to leave us in a great measure to ourselves. Such, my dear Armstrong, are our reasonings in general, when brought into discouraging circumstances; and, from a close examination of my own heart for some years past, I am persuaded that whatever zeal and self-denial might animate me in the first instance, yet that these blessed feelings would not last when brought to those severe trials which are the lot of the missionary—I mean of that person who has to contend with all the difficulties arising from a foreign station. These difficulties, however, in your case are greatly diminished, and even were it otherwise the Spirit vouchsafed to you, may enable you to grapple with them with the greatest ease. Oh! that this may be your constant experience! I rejoice in that spirit and temper which has hitherto regulated the conduct of my friend, and my constant, my stated prayers shall ascend up before the God of power and grace, that he may ever enjoy a rich unction—a complete baptism from above.

Assure Mrs. A. of my kind regards. Much as I admire your faith and self-denial, I think that of your dear partner no less conspicuous. When God has work to be done, how sweetly can he influence our minds so as to make us co-workers with himself.

Believe me,

Your most affectionate though unworthy Friend,

G. M.

Mr. Mortimer was married February 21st, 1812, to Miss Barford, a lady of pious habits and of amiable manners, and who proved herself a most useful and affectionate helpmeet to him. In the view of this event, he prepared, some months before it took place, the following resolutions for his government in the married state:—

“Since it is very probable I shall soon be united with my dearest friend M. B., and since we are always in danger of overlooking the duties of each relation in life, while engaged in it, though, before we enter upon it, we may perceive them plainly enough, I would, therefore, now, in an humble dependence upon Almighty God, and as in his sight, set my hand to the following resolutions, which I would purpose never to swerve from upon any occasion, let it be ever so trivial:—

“1st. Since the grand secret of domestic comfort depends upon the regulation of our tempers, I would, in the first place, endeavour to keep a strict watch over these; would avoid pettishness, of every description, and would guard against a degree of pertinacity, which has always been more or less troublesome to me: would never be positive in argument, and will strive to remove every appearance of self-will, and never to oppose my dearest friend in any thing, excepting when duty imperiously calls; and even then, in such a manner as shall impress her more with an idea of my affectionate regards towards her, than of any wish to consult my own gratification.

“In the 2nd place: will cultivate a tender and affectionate manner, always seeking out means of promoting her comfort, and lessening her troubles; sharing every domestic and maternal anxiety with tender solicitude.

“In the 3rd place: will be completely open; will have no secrets; on the contrary, will consult her in everything; will give her the freest access to all my papers, letters, &c.; will also commit to her entire management all my money concerns; and will take no more for my private purse than we shall amicably settle between ourselves.

“Fourthly. With regard to company, will make choice of those persons who shall be most agreeable to herself, and will be very attentive to those of her relations with whom she may wish to be connected—especially her mother and sister.

“Fifthly. Being aware of the foolish trouble occasioned by fastidiousness in the choice of food, am determined never to express my partiality for any particular joint or dish, and never to make the smallest objection to anything which comes to table. Remember Duke Fortunatus, and the incessant squabbles occasioned by his fluctuating taste and pettish tempers.

“So lastly. As to the arrangement of domestic concerns, will interfere as little as need be, and will never meddle either in the choice or dismissal of the servants, and will be careful never to find with them unnecessary fault.

“These rules and regulations I will read over the first day of every month, so long as it shall please God to spare me, and will make them matter of most serious prayer.

“Should I see fit to make any additions to the above, will still never destroy this identical paper, but keep it as exhibiting my views previous to marriage, and as a witness against me in future life, should I deliberately violate them.

“I write these rules in my college rooms on the 20th of May, 1811, being the day on which I complete the 27th year of my age, and being also the last of my remaining in Cambridge.

“George Mortimer.”